u/NordicPancakes

In the top left corner of your heart,
I leave a token.

A subtle nagging sensation that has taken up residence, twisted through and buried deep, intertwining with your cells and soul.

Muted in the sun.

As soon as the day slows and you have laid your head for the night, maybe with a new warm body by your side…

no distractions.

The stillness foments the relic I planted.

Here I reside as memories of my passion, the well of love I had for you, attentive obsession…

…taking up more and more space.

The ache.

Enshrouding as it seizes the entirety of your chest captive in a lethal hug.

In the top left corner of your heart,
I leave a token.

A subtle nagging sensation that has taken up residence, twisted through and buried deep, intertwining with your cells and soul.

Muted in the sun.

As soon as the day slows and you have laid your head for the night, maybe with a new warm body by your side…

no distractions.

The stillness foments the relic I planted.

Here I reside as memories of my passion, the well of love I had for you, attentive obsession…

…taking up more and more space.

The ache.

Enshrouding as it seizes the entirety of your chest captive in a lethal hug.

As someone who moves through the world with a different mindset , unique thinking patterns and higher intelligence level, have you observed it to be true that your empathy varies from normies/ muggles/ main stream/ status quo [ insert your palatable choice of wording here] ?

Go on to explain how, please.

Me 39F and my boyfriend 35M , have been dating 8 months. He has been clean from alcohol and drug use and addiction for 7 years. I absolutely see that he is clean so do his family and friends. He is a great guy, fun, creative, up for anything, has ingenuity, we have a lot in common….
As I get to know him more and more, he exhibits addict-like behavior as far as being “sneaky” with things he doesn’t need to be.
He started using in middle school and used for over 15 years…my theory is that becoming an addict programmed his brain in the way of lying, manipulating and deceiving to protect his addiction and even though he is clean it’s like that addict behavior didn’t heal or go away.

He Lies often, it just rolls out of his mouth without thinking about it. When I call him out on it he will say “Yeah, I don’t know why I even said that”.
He lies and manipulates insignificant situations that he does not need to.
Ill walk into a room he is in and he will quickly shut a cabinet and move away from what he was doing quickly like he was doing something bad.
Some of his behavior gets very twisty, manipulative and borderline gaslighty.
This behavior is not constant but happens enough that it’s disruptive. I like living in reality and don’t want to manage his honesty and the way he behaves. He is seeing a therapist.

He knows. He admits it. I call him out every time.
It’s like he isn’t observant or conscious enough to preemptively stop himself.

What is your experience with dating a clean addict?

Dating this man 36M for 8 months.
He broke up with his ex 35F almost 10 months ago.
I keep finding womens items in his home and vehicle in strange circumstances that he says were his exes items.
-Found an earring on the floor outside of his closet door, him and I have both vacuumed and shampooed the carpet multiple times since we started dating. He says he thinks it came out of old clothes in the closet.
-Found a woman’s bobby pin near the foot of the bed where the vacuum couldn’t get it unless we use the hose/wand.
-Found a pair of earrings in a small dish in his bathroom cabinet that weren’t previously there.
He said he found them in his vanity drawer, claimed he didn’t know who’s they were and didn’t know if they were mine or not.
-Found condoms in the middle console in both of his vehicles. We don’t use condoms. Claims they were for his ex, says he saw them in there but didn’t cross his mind to take them out.
-Found a womens ring in the cup holder in the back seat of his vehicle and a fake pink acrylic nail on the floor under the back seat. Says they must have been his exes.

Him and I have almost constant contact. He is almost always accounted for and we have each other’s locations. The only times I can remember that he wasn’t accounted for were him not sending “GoodMorning messages” ONE time and didn’t hear from him until noon. The other time he went for a drive and said he sat in a parking lot. I had not been able to check his past location, this is just what he said.
He has photos of him and I everywhere in his vehicles and bedroom. If he is cheating, his affair partner definitely knows about me.
I see that he keeps things clean but when it comes to drawers, cubbies, closets, bins etc he does not.

He lied to me about this particular ex in the beginning of our relationship and said they had broke up a year before him and I met, turns out it was only 2 months before we started dating.
she has sent him hand written letters, a bouquet of flowers, an email and asked friends about him. Clearly not over him. I suspected they texted and had contact in the beginning of our relationship but have no proof.

Is it feasible that these items are from his ex over 10 months ago and he doesn’t clean and organize great? Or am I being naive.

What else should I be watching for?