Fed up of caregiving
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I am a 29-year-old woman with cerebral palsy. My mother has a hearing impairment and intellectual limitations, while my father, though he supported me financially, was controlling and reluctant to let me leave home to pursue higher education. I was academically strong, scoring around 94% in Plus Two and becoming a rank holder in BA Sociology. Yet after graduation, my education was disrupted for around three years. I struggled with depression, anxiety, isolation and dropped courses before slowly trying to rebuild my life.
In 2024, I finally restarted seriously through IGNOU's MSW programme. Even this journey has been difficult because I study through distance education, have limited support and have struggled with unhelpful fieldwork supervision. I still have two examinations, two internships/fieldwork components, practical requirements and journals to complete.
Despite everything, I cleared UGC NET Social Work in December 2025. I didn't get JRF, so my next major goal is to complete MSW and attempt JRF in December 2026. I also have a PhD admission opportunity whose validity is limited, which adds pressure.
Meanwhile, my mother's health deteriorated and she required prolonged hospital care. I am exhausted from caregiving and managing responsibilities for parents whom I feel did not emotionally support me when I needed them, although I can empathize with my mother's limitations more than my father's.
Recently, while already overwhelmed, I slipped in the kitchen and suffered an ankle sprain.
I feel as though I matured too early while missing many normal experiences—friendships, independence and simply living. I am tired of surviving and managing other people's problems.
Right now, I want to finish my MSW, seriously attempt JRF, become independent and finally build a life that belongs to me.
Now I am fed up I don't know how long i am gonna take it. I just want to say it to somebody.thanks for hearing
Edit: Thank you everyone. It's beautiful to read such benevolent comments when you are broken. You guys made me believe in humanity. What I wanted was just to vent as I am alone,but I got the strength to go forward . Thankyou cocos