u/NostramanVIII

So I’m playing Germany, and somehow I managed to get the PGA to win the 2ACW. I haven’t seen them win in forever, it’s usually the ACC.

The war ended in early 1939 and in three years they have done basically none of the reconstruction focuses, I genuinely have no idea what they’ve wasted their time doing. They’ve declared war on Canada and subsequently Mexico, and are on the verge of getting curb stomped by the Internationale and Entente because they were in no way prepared. Genuinely why would they do this? Is it because it’s the Longists? They’re suicidally belligerent.

Speaking of suicide, Savinkov did almost none of his industrial or military focuses, and had hardly industrialised. He managed to lose against Central Asia. I’ve literally never seen him do that before. He declares war on me, and I barely have to go on the defensive before he blunders his way into giving me the initiative, and he’s surrendered in a year. He couldn’t even capitulate Georgia or Turkestan again.

The Japanese didn’t do much better, and have lost years of gains in China to German East Asia without me even having to do anything, I’m not even propping them up. And then they decided it was a good idea to declare war on the Entente. They’ll probably have lost before I even get over there after mopping up the Internationale.

The Communards left half the Western Front unguarded to focus on Italy so I was able to push them back easily without a serious offensive. Spain is neutral and aside from a bit of stuff in the US they have no other fronts.

Goalkeepers:

1. Stolarczyk. 50/50 on him. I don’t rate him much personally but he’s good enough to start at championship level. He could stay but I think we will need to accept a bid for him for PSR reasons.

2. Begovic. He’s about 40, probably on huge money for this level and his contract is up. Ines out the door.

3. Vieites. Has a year left on his contract and I can’t see anyone bidding for him.

Fullbacks:

4. Ricardo. We already know he’s leaving.

5. Luke Thomas. He’s staying, League One might be his level and I can’t see anyone buying him.

6. Aluko. Probably stays and will likely start.

7. Kristiansen. Has made it very clear he doesn’t want to play in League One so will force a move. He’s incredibly injury prone and has missed the season so we won’t get much for him even if he can sell.

8. Choudhury. He’s said he’s staying but I think he’ll leave so we can get his wages off the books. He’ll have takers in the Championship.

Centre backs:

9. Vestergaard. Has a year left on his contract but he looks washed. I can’t see us selling him for pennies.

10. Gray. I think he stays as a squad player next season or he’s out on loan.

11. Souttar. We will probably sell him, he will have takers even if he’s been long term injured.

12. Faes. He’s gone, and if he’s not he’ll down tools until he is.

13. Okoli. He’s absolutely rubbish but has admirers back in Italy apparently.

14. Nelson. Someone will buy him. I don’t really rate him and would be happy to move him on.

15. Lascelles. He’s probably gone unless he accepts a new contract on less money. Which he has no reason to.

Midfielders:

16. Harry Winks (AKA cunt supreme). He’s forcing a move, we can’t afford his wages anyway.

17. Oliver Skipp. I’d really like to keep Skippy for League One but I think we will need to sell him.

18. Louis Page. One of the few I think we need to keep at all costs. I personally see him staying.

19. James. Already said he’s heading back to Rennes.

20. Ramsey. Back to ~~the hospital~~ Burnley.

21. Reid. A year left on his contract, but I think he’s forcing a move and he’ll get one.

22. Aribo. Free agent.

23. Mukasa. Back to Man City.

24. Golding. He probably gets some minutes next season.

25. S Thomas. He’s probably sticking around.

Forwards:

26. Fatawu. Sold to the highest bidder. We need the money.

27. Ayew. Gone, he’s on too much money.

28. Mavididi. I see a slim chance of him staying but I think he’s forcing a move.

29. Richards. Back to the oblivion of Chelsea’s Bench.

30. Daka. He’s absolutely gone. Can’t afford his wages and out of contract.

31. Marçal. We probably release him, he’s out of contract and not getting minutes.

32. Monga. He’s getting sold, too much hype around him.

Definitely a damning indictment of Top’s reign and fan satisfaction with the club.

It’s the end of the season, and I feel it’s time to reflect on our season with some suitably appropriate awards for our club. Please submit your nominations for the following categories:

1. Own goal of the season.

2. Flop of the season (given to new signings).

3. Worst regression of the season (given to the player whose form has been the worst compared to previous seasons).

4. Most impactful injury (given to the player whose absence has affected us the most).

5. Stupidest quote (given to the player or club staff member who has said the stupidest thing this season).

6. Stupidest red card.

7. Most damage done to career.

8. Biggest cunt.

9. Most bizarre moment (can be on or off the pitch).

10. Worst managerial appointment.