u/Noticing_is_bad

Hello,

I posted this post in several other subs already and it made me wonder if this is actually some sort of (psychological) bdsm.

I just posted the very same post in the TrueOffMyChest sub, but it was removed. I hope I am not breaking any rules here.

Also sorry for my English, I am trying my best.

I am a 26 year old woman and all my life people have disrespected me. I think it has something to do with the fact that I was both raised strict + with emotional neglect by my parents; that I learned early that being quiet is the best strategy for survival (especially outside / in social situations) and that I was bullied at school for being an immigrant and also poor.

Do you know these people where you can just tell that they grew up rich, happy and probably popular ? And then there are those like me, where you can tell from the first glance that they are sad and that their lives were probably hard.

I don't want to turn this into a cry for pity, but this is just the situation.

For more than 2 years I have been in love with a man (38) that treats me like crap. What we have is barely even a situationship. He comes to my place every month or so and he sleeps over here. And then he leaves...and when I write again - he never writes first - he comes again.

He has told me some of the most painful things someone has ever told me. Including "I have the prettiest dancing girls around me, why should I be with you ? What do you have that they don't have ?"

( he is a dancing teacher)

He also said that he can smell it on my private parts that I have been with many men. He told me all men have this ability - to tell if a woman has had many men simply by the smell of her риssу and body. (I asked several men about this and they all told me that this is bs, he probably just wanted to hurt me)

But I still like it because he is attractive and popular and when I think about me 10 years ago at 16, no boy wanted to touch me. So, in a twisted way, I am grateful for him willing to have sex with me.

I have no idea how many other girls he is involved with. He may even have a family, I don't know.

The first time we slept together, it was at his place. I was on the last day of my period and I told him that, but he didn't care and basically pushed me to so it.

I decided to at least take a shower first and when I got into the bathroom and undressed, he had to come in to give me a towel. He looked at my naked body with a look no guy had ever looked at me before. A mix of dislike and annoyance.

After the sex he was disappointed. And then he basically made me leave in the middle of the night and didn't even want to pay the taxi for me, despite making much better money than me.

I remember how much that hurt me, although the memory of that evening itself is sort of blurry already because it was so traumatic that I guess I sort of dissociated.

But in a fuскed up way, I see him as a golden prince with his beautiful golden hair, and I enjoy it. Eventhough it hurts, and he will never want me.

But hey, at least "one of the cool kids" is willing to spend time with me. My 16 year old self would cry with joy that we came that far.

And I don't think I deserve more. I am not one of the pretty girls who work out and all of that. I am slim, but I don't work out and it shows. Men have always treated me like a second, third or fourth option and never like the girl they actually want. And maybe this is just the way it is. Maybe some of us are simply meant to be so low.

I could easily date someone else but all the other guys seem boring after him. He is also extremly smart, besides the cruelty. And I like that.

Hello,

I just posted the very same post in the TrueOffMyChest sub, but it was removed. I hope I am not breaking any rules here.

Also sorry for my English, I am trying my best.

I am a 26 year old woman and all my life people have disrespected me. I think it has something to do with the fact that I was both raised strict + with emotional neglect by my parents; that I learned early that being quiet is the best strategy for survival (especially outside / in social situations) and that I was bullied at school for being an immigrant and also poor.

Do you know these people where you can just tell that they grew up rich, happy and probably popular ? And then there are those like me, where you can tell from the first glance that they are sad and that their lives were probably hard.

I don't want to turn this into a cry for pity, but this is just the situation.

For more than 2 years I have been in love with a man (38) that treats me like crap. What we have is barely even a situationship. He comes to my place every month or so and he sleeps over here. And then he leaves...and when I write again - he never writes first - he comes again.

He has told me some of the most painful things someone has ever told me. Including "I have the prettiest dancing girls around me, why should I be with you ? What do you have that they don't have ?"

( he is a dancing teacher)

He also said that he can smell it on my private parts that I have been with many men. He told me all men have this ability - to tell if a woman has had many men simply by the smell of her риssу and body. (I asked several men about this and they all told me that this is bs, he probably just wanted to hurt me)

But I still like it because he is attractive and popular and when I think about me 10 years ago at 16, no boy wanted to touch me. So, in a twisted way, I am grateful for him willing to have sex with me.

I have no idea how many other girls he is involved with. He may even have a family, I don't know.

The first time we slept together, it was at his place. I was on the last day of my period and I told him that, but he didn't care and basically pushed me to so it.

I decided to at least take a shower first and when I got into the bathroom and undressed, he had to come in to give me a towel. He looked at my naked body with a look no guy had ever looked at me before. A mix of dislike and annoyance.

After the sex he was disappointed. And then he basically made me leave in the middle of the night and didn't even want to pay the taxi for me, despite making much better money than me.

I remember how much that hurt me, although the memory of that evening itself is sort of blurry already because it was so traumatic that I guess I sort of dissociated.

But in a fuскed up way, I see him as a golden prince with his beautiful golden hair, and I enjoy it. Eventhough it hurts, and he will never want me.

But hey, at least "one of the cool kids" is willing to spend time with me. My 16 year old self would cry with joy that we came that far.

And I don't think I deserve more. I am not one of the pretty girls who work out and all of that. I am slim, but I don't work out and it shows. Men have always treated me like a second, third or fourth option and never like the girl they actually want. And maybe this is just the way it is. Maybe some of us are simply meant to be so low. For the record - he is not the only man who would like me. In fact, just recently a normal and kind guy wanted to actually start a relationship with him but I said no, because I don't see the same magic in him as I do with the situationship guy. I am not that desperate, but I just enjoy it.

Hi,

I'm writing in this sub because when I put "pantyhose" or "stockings" into the reddit search bar, only some weird sexual subs came up.

So - I'm 26 f and I love wearing skirts, but I don't feel comfortable when my legs are visible. So I found out that the combination of a skirt/short pants + pantyhose is a good idea and it can even work for all seasons.

First I just got some no-name brands pantyhose and they're actually quite good so far.

But I would love to get myself some high quality ones too, that will be able to stay for at least a year or a few years. (I have also educated myself on how to wash them etc)

So far, NOQ is good. Very nice fabric, feels good, doesn't rip. But they are not really considered high quality, so I suspect that eventually, maybe in a few months time, the ones I have will rip.

I also bought a pair by Calvin Klein (40 DEN) that were praised as being high qualiy by the saleswoman in the shop. They ripped the first time I wore them. Big disappointment.

Which brands can you recommend ? I live in south-eastern Europe, EU.

Thanks !

Hi,

So, I (26 f) am having this very complicated situationship with a guy (38). I know that he isn't as much into me as I am, but I am enjoying the sex and spending time with him so I take what I can.

Our meetings are basically only him coming over to my appartment (I live alone), we watch some movie, we have sex, and usually he also sleeps over and then we have sex in the morning again and he leaves. We usually do this on weekends when we don't have to stay up too early.

I know I am just a booty call for him, and that he will not make me his gf or wife - that is not my issue. I mean, it is an issue but it's not the reason I am writing this.

My question is from a purely psychological curiosity.

Here is what I wonder about. Last time he came, he got annoyed with me not wearing a bra.... in my own home.

And it always feels like he dislikes the fact that he is attracted to me. Usually the moment he goes through my door, his dick is hard.

I have never experienced someone like that. I have never had the feeling that a man is annoyed for being attracted to me. Or maybe he isn't attracted but I am the only woman he van have sex with atm ?

He has only kissed me one single time (with no tongue) during all the time we know each other.

Can you give me an insider perspective of what is probably going on in his mind ? Do you think he sees me as some sort of garbage ? Be brutally honest.

thanks

Hi,

I'm a 26 year old woman but my "vibe" is that of a very naïve and young girl. It's hard to explain it online but it comes from being bullied a lot throughout my teens, and it's something other people have told me about myself and not something I am imagining. Basically, nobody respects me either. People are usually friendly, but I can feel that they don't think much of me. I am just sharing that in case it has something to do with my issue.

So - almost no guy I have had a relationship or situationship with has ever cared if I orgasm during sex. Actually, only one guy ever cared (my only long term relationship)

With everyone else sex has gone the same way always. They get horny, we undress, they do their thing until they finish. I usually don't do much, I often even shut down during sex. I just turn my brain off, so to speak.

After the finish, they don't even ask me if I liked it or anything.

I wonder if men just totally disrespect me. Or is this normal ? Do guys ask the woman that stuff if they actually like her ?

​

Hi,

this story is weird af, you are warned. Some people might see underage grooming here ( I am not sure about that, and I will explain why). If you were a victim of SA in your childhood or teens - decide if you want to read. Also, sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker.

For the start, I am female and an only child.

My dad met his late best friend when I was 7 years old. The friend was much older than my parents and sort of wealthy - nothing flashy, but quite wealthier than us. He had no real family despite being a nice person. He had several ex wives (who he still had a friendship with) but he didn't have a stable partner for a long time.

He and my dad got along very well and this guy started taking us with him on vacation. We basically didn't have to pay for much, he would cover most of the cost. Again - nothing fancy because neither him nor my parents were into luxury. But it was nice trips in the Alps, where he lived.

We all lived in Germany, Europe btw, but not in the same region.

Also, for the record - I have always thought my dad and his friend might have something going on between them, but I can say with 100% certainty that both men are totally hetero. How exactly I know that...well let's say I have found some stuff that I wasn't meant to see and at least for my father I am absolutely sure that he doesn't have one single gay bone in him. \*no hate here btw

So, usually, we would go on those trips together, meaning my parents, I and him. But one time when I was around 15 and a half, for some reason my parents could not come so I travelled alone to his place.

Since he lived near the Alps, his normal home alone was already sort of a "vacation" in our eyes.

I was a very horny teen back then. I just had my first sex a few months ago and I was crazy on that subject. It was a mix of hormones and curiosity.

I had never been one of the pretty and popular girls, I was in fact an outsider at school and I was bullied horribly - but that is a different topic.

I knew that I could not have sex with the hot guys, so this man was good enough to have some fun with.

Btw, I don't remember it all in a chronological order. So it might all sound like a mess - sorry for that.

When I got to his place, I wanted him to desire me. He was quite attractive btw, slim and very well kept. And he was also a physicist and he tried to get me to study with him, but my teen brain only wanted to do sexual stuff. And he gave in. I stayed there for around a week and I had taken a short red dress with me that I wore around him. One evening (I wore the red dress) he tried to make me drunk with wine and he performed oral sex on me. He wanted real penetration as well but I said that we can only do it with a condom... and since he didn't want to do it with a condom, we didn't fuck.

He never did anything really violent to me. But it was still weird.

I had my own room there and one night he came up to me and got into my bed. I remember exactly what he said. He said that his dick has gotten hard and he can't get it to calm down now. And he made me perform a hand job. I agreed, but I was a bit scared.

The next morning, he just acted as if this had not happened. I asked him about it and he said that I must have dreamt it. And because I trusted him, I did in fact start to think that I must have dreamt or imagined it. Eventhough I have never had this issue where I could not make the difference between a dream and being awake. I know some people have sleep paralisys and stuff like that, but I have never struggled with anything like that. I never had the problem to know what was a dream and what was reality.

Later that day, I saw his pijama on a chair, and that was when I knew that it had not been a dream. He wore a blue-white-striped pijama that night - that I had not seen before - and here was the same pijama right in front of me. So, what happened in the night was not a dream.

During the next days, we kissed and made some other sexual stuff together, except real sex.

But it is important to say that I was just as "guilty" as he was here. I actively tried to seduce him all the time.

Of course when he sent me to the train, he told me to not tell my parents about that. And of course, I didn't, because I didn't want any trouble.

He died a few months after that, when I was already 16. I decided to tell my parents about all that (with no details) and they didn't take me seriously and blamed me. Or maybe they just didn't believe me. Either way, it was all very strange. To this day, and I am 26 now, I don't know if I was abused or if it was normal. I don't want to put any blame on him, he has helped my family a lot in different ways. But I do wonder how this story sounds to a grown up man.

Was I groomed ? Am I the guilty one for trying to seduce him ? It felt very wrong and to this day I feel bad and dirty for it.

Thanks for reading !