u/NovaRayne_XO

The things I could tell you about me.

My life.

My childhood.

Oh, you thinking happy loving memories, right??

Wrong.

I had few and far between happy times.

My childhood and my upbringing

would shock many of who reads.

Imagine this lil girl

and she’s beautiful.

Perfect, you could say.

Olive skin.

Long, almost black hair.

Piercing eyes.

Whole life ahead of her.

That’s not how this story goes.

Not how the cookies crumbled.

No fate.

She was tested

from the moment she could talk.

Manhandled.

Abused.

Touched.

Yelled at.

Left alone.

To fend for herself.

Everyone failed her.

Made her hide the secrets of many.

To cower in sight of darkness.

To make it her new home.

That’s where she stayed.

Now she still bares those secrets.

Harbors all the monsters that came for her.

Never to be alone.

She has no one now.

Just the monsters she hides inside.

Deep below her surface.

She’s still the same.

But scarred now.

Bruised.

Forever marked by the demons that follow.

She’ll never be free.

But always broken.

As she sits grown and changed,

the scars and bruising fade.

But the monsters that haunted her youth

still follow her in the shadows.

Finally,

a moment of peace

breaks through.

She can breathe.

Life is changing.

But then it settles.

The fears and walls come back.

The darkness holds again.

There is no escape

of these inner demons.

Just running.

Running so hard

you can’t breathe.

Hoping they never catch you.

But they do.

And you’re smothered into silence again.

To bear all the darkness.

Cuz that’s what was not told.

Her soul was signed away

before she could talk.

She had no chance.

Same girl.

Same monsters.

Same secrets.

Never to be free.

Chained to the inner sides

of her mind forever.

This will be.

Is anyone gonna set her free?

37 female. Im just hitting a wall when it comes to finding more open ppl. I crave connection and trust. And no one wants to build that. And i just need ppl i can talk too and feel like I fucking belong. Thank you.

36 female. Trying to make sense of something that happened like 3 months ago. I went to my bestfriends house for a girls weekend. Hadn't seen her in like 1 1/2. Been bestfriends for 20 years. Well I arrive. And she tells me her new boyfriend is gunna tag along. First night was good. Nothing bad. Then the next day came. It was my cousin's birthday. She was also coming to hangout. 10 am hits. And her boyfriend is like let's take shots. Shots. Shots. Shots. He wouldnt shut up. So I agreed. Took a shot with them. My cousin arrives. Were all hanging out. They are all taking Shots. I am not a drinker. So I wasnt drinking anything at this point. I finally decided to make my first drink. And im sipping on it. Were all in the kitchen. My bestfriend was making dinner. And outta the corner of my eye I see her boyfriend poor more vodka in my drink. And I was like uhhh excuse me dont do that. I dont fucking drink. And he goes "you just need to lighten up. Have fun". I said i am. We drop it they continue to take shots. My bestfirend is passed out on her couch at this point. Cuz her boyfriend kept feeding her shots. So I go out to my friends porch to do a lil gardening session. I come back in to grab something. This man follows me into the kitchen. Corners me. Gropes me. And says "I'll give you this wiener, if you want it?" And tries to come at me for a kiss. I pushed him back laughed and said "no im good" went and immediately told my cousin who was out on the porch. We talked and I was debating what I should do. We went back inside. All our alcohol was gone. Her boyfriend and her teenage kids snuck off with it. So we woke up my bestfriend. Took a min to get her up. And I told her "yo you need to check your man. Hes hitting on me and he stole all the alcohol and is sharing it with your kid and his friends!!! And she's confused and trying to figure shit out. And then in comes her boyfriend. Talking mad shit to me calling me names like fupa. Cuz i am a bigger girl. And he keeps saying shit like "yeahhh i totally trying to fuck fupa" like playing in her face and gaslighting my bestfriend Hella. All I could do was tell him he was acting like a bitch cuz he got turned down and I told on him. He then proceeds to threaten me. He spit in my face. And 4 teenage boys had to hold him back. All while my so called bestfriend stood there holding back laughs and saying she aint taking no ones side cuz she was asleep. Like you see how that man's acting towards me and you aint gunna do shit. Wow. K. So I fucking called her out told him he's a lil bitch and I left. I haven't spoken to her since. I wont. That showed me all I needed to know about her as a friend. Im not crazy for thinking that this was insane right. Like she's a shitty ass friend. Mind you she's still with this man today. How could you do that to your bestfriend!? Like it's disgusting. Like your man cornered me and sexually assaulted me and im that bad guy??? How???? Tf. Am I insane???

36 female. Trying to make sense of something that happened like 3 months ago. I went to my bestfriends house for a girls weekend. Hadn't seen her in like 1 1/2. Been bestfriends for 20 years. Well I arrive. And she tells me her new boyfriend is gunna tag along. First night was good. Nothing bad. Then the next day came. It was my cousin's birthday. She was also coming to hangout. 10 am hits. And her boyfriend is like let's take shots. Shots. Shots. Shots. He wouldnt shut up. So I agreed. Took a shot with them. My cousin arrives. Were all hanging out. They are all taking Shots. I am not a drinker. So I wasnt drinking anything at this point. I finally decided to make my first drink. And im sipping on it. Were all in the kitchen. My bestfriend was making dinner. And outta the corner of my eye I see her boyfriend poor more vodka in my drink. And I was like uhhh excuse me dont do that. I dont fucking drink. And he goes "you just need to lighten up. Have fun". I said i am. We drop it they continue to take shots. My bestfirend is passed out on her couch at this point. Cuz her boyfriend kept feeding her shots. So I go out to my friends porch to do a lil gardening session. I come back in to grab something. This man follows me into the kitchen. Corners me. Gropes me. And says "I'll give you this wiener, if you want it?" And tries to come at me for a kiss. I pushed him back laughed and said "no im good" went and immediately told my cousin who was out on the porch. We talked and I was debating what I should do. We went back inside. All our alcohol was gone. Her boyfriend and her teenage kids snuck off with it. So we woke up my bestfriend. Took a min to get her up. And I told her "yo you need to check your man. Hes hitting on me and he stole all the alcohol and is sharing it with your kid and his friends!!! And she's confused and trying to figure shit out. And then in comes her boyfriend. Talking mad shit to me calling me names like fupa. Cuz i am a bigger girl. And he keeps saying shit like "yeahhh i totally trying to fuck fupa" like playing in her face and gaslighting my bestfriend Hella. All I could do was tell him he was acting like a bitch cuz he got turned down and I told on him. He then proceeds to threaten me. He spit in my face. And 4 teenage boys had to hold him back. All while my so called bestfriend stood there holding back laughs and saying she aint taking no ones side cuz she was asleep. Like you see how that man's acting towards me and you aint gunna do shit. Wow. K. So I fucking called her out told him he's a lil bitch and I left. I haven't spoken to her since. I wont. That showed me all I needed to know about her as a friend. Im not crazy for thinking that this was insane right. Like she's a shitty ass friend. Mind you she's still with this man today. How could you do that to your bestfriend!? Like it's disgusting. Like your man cornered me and sexually assaulted me and im that bad guy??? How???? Tf. Am I insane???

36 female. Trying to make sense of something that happened like 3 months ago. I went to my bestfriends house for a girls weekend. Hadn't seen her in like 1 1/2. Been bestfriends for 20 years. Well I arrive. And she tells me her new boyfriend is gunna tag along. First night was good. Nothing bad. Then the next day came. It was my cousin's birthday. She was also coming to hangout. 10 am hits. And her boyfriend is like let's take shots. Shots. Shots. Shots. He wouldnt shut up. So I agreed. Took a shot with them. My cousin arrives. Were all hanging out. They are all taking Shots. I am not a drinker. So I wasnt drinking anything at this point. I finally decided to make my first drink. And im sipping on it. Were all in the kitchen. My bestfriend was making dinner. And outta the corner of my eye I see her boyfriend poor more vodka in my drink. And I was like uhhh excuse me dont do that. I dont fucking drink. And he goes "you just need to lighten up. Have fun". I said i am. We drop it they continue to take shots. My bestfirend is passed out on her couch at this point. Cuz her boyfriend kept feeding her shots. So I go out to my friends porch to do a lil gardening session. I come back in to grab something. This man follows me into the kitchen. Corners me. Gropes me. And says "I'll give you this wiener, if you want it?" And tries to come at me for a kiss. I pushed him back laughed and said "no im good" went and immediately told my cousin who was out on the porch. We talked and I was debating what I should do. We went back inside. All our alcohol was gone. Her boyfriend and her teenage kids snuck off with it. So we woke up my bestfriend. Took a min to get her up. And I told her "yo you need to check your man. Hes hitting on me and he stole all the alcohol and is sharing it with your kid and his friends!!! And she's confused and trying to figure shit out. And then in comes her boyfriend. Talking mad shit to me calling me names like fupa. Cuz i am a bigger girl. And he keeps saying shit like "yeahhh i totally trying to fuck fupa" like playing in her face and gaslighting my bestfriend Hella. All I could do was tell him he was acting like a bitch cuz he got turned down and I told on him. He then proceeds to threaten me. He spit in my face. And 4 teenage boys had to hold him back. All while my so called bestfriend stood there holding back laughs and saying she aint taking no ones side cuz she was asleep. Like you see how that man's acting towards me and you aint gunna do shit. Wow. K. So I fucking called her out told him he's a lil bitch and I left. I haven't spoken to her since. I wont. That showed me all I needed to know about her as a friend. Im not crazy for thinking that this was insane right. Like she's a shitty ass friend. Mind you she's still with this man today. How could you do that to your bestfriend!? Like it's disgusting. Like your man cornered me and sexually assaulted me and im that bad guy??? How???? Tf. Am I insane???