u/Nymph0451

和朋友在一起时感受到一种非常轻盈的快乐。

我的青春像新生的枝芽一样密密匝匝郁郁葱葱地长出、漫漾，点过暖融融的金色湖面，在肥美的水心荡开一圈圈青色的涟漪。

Hi, I'm 22, and I feel a little lost. Ok, maybe more than a little. I want to hear how your life is like when you are 22 🥺 English is not my mother tongue, and I'm new to Reddit. If I sound strange, I'm really sorry!

I'm still at university, I should graduate at June this year, but I still have some credits left, so I have to stay another year to make it up. I suffered deep depression most of the time during my days in college, I survived many suicidal intents. Well it's like, when I finally feel better, hey it's 2026, you should get out of here and be a real grown woman! What?? But I feel so so not prepared.

Depression sort of hit pause on my life, sometimes I feel like I'm still 19, a freshman. I did not enjoy my life at college, I missed the chance. It's like I was asleep for 3 or 4 years, when I wake up, I'm already 22, and 252 days later, I'm 23! It's just terrifying! Is it really okay that I don't know about this world much? How mature should I be at 22? Am I ruining my life? Were you feeling this lost at this age?

My parents never think I'm good enough, and I'm still struggling to cope with that. They are classic Asian, or say Chinese parents, they need me to be their perfect daughter to ease their anxiety. When I got into that great university but I was depressed and my grades were not pretty, they were so mad. Yet still, they paid for my medical bills. I'm really trying to reestablish the line between me and my parents, I know they do love me, and they don't really accept themselves deep down and that's not really what I can fix. I know all about it, but it still hurts, and it's hard.

I want to improve my credits, graduate, maybe study abroad, now I have so many things I'm curious about. This world is so big! I can't wait to explore! I just got a little scared. Maybe more than a little. My parents always say I should follow the right path, by that they mean a life like what they have, but I don't want their life. Just like what Olivia Rodrigo sang in her song, they all say that it gets better, it gets better but what if I don't? 😭

I'm sorry if my post triggered you. My questions are so dumb and I'm probably stupid too 😖 If you want to leave an answer I'll be so happy! Thank you in advance!