u/Oakleypokely

I lost my baby 2 months ago at 33 weeks, to a placental abruption. It was very sudden and it happened at work, and then all of a sudden I was bleeding and my baby died and I was out of work for 8 weeks. I go back to work in a little over a week.

Right now I’m visiting my family and husbands family in our home state. It’s very awkward because most people have not mentioned my loss to me. Several of them sent flowers when it happened or commented on my Facebook post well wishes and prayers, but to me face, or even over text, most of my family and friends and coworkers have have nothing to me personally. Even seeing them in person there has been no mention of it or them asking how I am doing.

I am a pretty private person, and quiet, but I think in this situation the silence is even more isolating and sad. It’s not that they don’t care, I’m sure, and I wouldn’t probably know what to say anyway if asked, but it would be nice to have the tragedy recognized and spoken to me. I’m starting to think, after having to almost pretend it didn’t happen around people since no one seems to want to talk about it, that maybe I should be moved on by now and back to normal. Like this is something that happened all the time and I should move on?

But then my internal struggle is also guilt… for acting normal and like I’m okay, guilt for not crying more, guilt for being a bad mom to my toddler.

I’m just curious, if people aren’t going to ask me, but I want to bring it up myself to kind of break the awkwardness, what should I say? Do you guys tell the story of what happened (medically speaking), what do you say about your baby? I only held my baby for 12 hours. She was perfect, 4 lb 4 oz, and beautiful. But I was also very drugged up and sleep deprived and it was in the middle of the night and dark. I have a hard time knowing how to talk about her beyond that.

I’m just curious from other people, because I’m honestly shocked how early I was released. I had my c-section at 10 pm and I left the hospital around 2pm the next day. My OB informed the nurses that he was comfortable with me going home by noon. It was my 2nd c-section so I was aware of the recovery and I had family in town to help me out.

My first c-section I was admitted for 3 nights, was there for almost 4 full days. That one was an emergency c-section and I think the 3rd night was basically due to them wanting to monitor my baby for one more night.

This time, I think my OB just felt bad for me because I lost my baby, and let me go and recover at home instead of being in the hospital any longer. But I’m still surprised because even with non complicated c-sections they typically require 2 nights, and I had an urgent c-section with a lot of blood loss prior and a stillbirth and they were just like okay bye, never checked up on me again until I had an appointment 2.5 weeks later.

I lost my baby at 33 weeks and I just got my first period (I’m 7 weeks postpartum). And it triggered me like crazy. I lost my girl to a placental abruption that caused a lot of sudden heavy bleeding, so waking up and seeing the blood in the toilet felt a bit traumatizing and I’m also just so angry I have to deal with my period now after everything I’ve already had to deal with.

I lost my daughter about 6 weeks ago at 33 weeks pregnant. It was very sudden, I had a perfect scan just a few days prior. I had an acute placental abruption while I was at work, and by the time I got to the hospital, she had no heartbeat. I had a c-section shortly after to stop my bleeding. My husband and I held her all night, and left the hospital, and her, the next day.

I was an emotional wreck the first week or two. I didn’t really function. The more time that passes, it’s almost like my brain and body is trying to forget. I’m feeling more and more disconnected, and numb, which only makes me feel more guilty. It’s hard to remember how everything felt when it happened, feels like a fever dream. Like it wasn’t real, or like I didn’t really experience it.

I know my pregnancy was a little rough. For 8 months, I carried her and I went through all the sickness, the pain and being uncomfortable at night, swelling feet and hands, Braxton hicks for months, peeing every 10 minutes. I worked the whole pregnancy, a high stress job. I also have a toddler and my husband was always busy. But I did it. And then this happened. And now… I don’t know how to describe it, it’s like it didn’t even happen. Or it didn’t matter.

I read other people’s stories on here but I haven’t heard others who have really felt this way. I just feel so flat. Sometimes emotionless. I’m afraid of coming off like I don’t care or am not sad. But I’m just so emotionally removed from it.

This is the hardest things I’ve gone through, but I’ve dealt with other heartache the same way. It’s probably the way my body has learn to protect itself over time, but this time I actually don’t want to forget, and I do want to feel the pain because it means I love her and it wasn’t for nothing. It wasn’t just a blip in my life that gets erased.

I lost my baby girl 6 weeks ago, tomorrow, at 33.5 weeks due to an acute placental abruption. The first week I did cry often. And also into the second week I was pretty emotional. But since then, I just feel emotionally numb and detached. I became obsessed with trying to figure what happened and why, and figure out what must be wrong with me and my body. I spent several weeks reading, and rereading, medical records, and about placental problems, etc. It wasn’t the first time I’ve had placental problems, but was the first time it resulted in a third trimester stillbirth.

Why haven’t I cried about it since, or felt more depressed, but rather I feel the need to figure everything out and obsess over those details? I know I do care and am deeply sad about losing my first baby girl, and mourn not being about to see her grow up, but I don’t really feel the pain right now. And it honestly just makes me feel guilty.

Is this basically the denial stage? Or just how I’m coping? My husband on the other hand has been crying more than me, has a hard time looking at the pictures, is depressed and angry. Why don’t I feel?

I am wondering if anyone else has done this, asked their job for more time off than originally planned. I lost my daughter at 8 months pregnant due to severe placental abruption, and then had an urgent c section so I wouldn’t bleed to death. I originally told my work I needed 8 weeks off to heal from the c section (this is the standard in US for c section). I’m already on week 5 of that and it has gone by way too fast and I’ve done no healing. Well, physically I guess, but emotionally I’ve gone nowhere. I’m still very numb. I lay in bed most the day. I can’t focus on a single other thing, I can’t even watch tv or read a book. I want to ask my job for an extra week off. I’m sure they would be okay with it but I’m just worried about asking.

Apparently (according to my close coworker) everyone is already questioning if I’m gonna come back to work. I don’t want to use the excuse for emotional/grieving because obviously one additional week off isn’t going to make a difference, but I just want the extra week to visit family (it’s the only time they can) and do a few last things before getting back to work full time and being too busy.

Maybe I’m crazy, idk. I lost my baby at 33.5 weeks from a placental abruption. That was about 4.5 weeks ago. I have 8 weeks off work to recover since it was a c-section.

The first week was laying in bed, crying, barely moving, not leaving the house, and having family over to help out. 2nd - 3rd week was starting to get out of the house a little, move a little more each day, family visiting off/on, and spending some time with my husband watching tv mostly, or building legos.

After 3 weeks, husband went back to work. This is now week two of me being home without him, and all family gone. I have done basically nothing. I also have a toddler, but I’ve continued to drop him off at daycare daily. Why? Because I pay for it and because he’s been a lot lately. Love him, but he’s in his terrible twos and has been pretty mean to me. Very stubborn, lots of tantrums, hitting and throwing and screaming when he’s mad, etc. Even outside of daycare, it’s hard for me to be a super energetic and active parent right now.

So while he’s been in daycare, I’ve done nothing. And I feel guilty for it? Maybe it’s because I never had time off work before, and now that I am, even though I’m healing from surgery and grieving, I have this expectation of myself I need to be filling my days and being productive or AT LEAST doing something fun ?

But in reality, the days are flying by, I’m laying in bed, sitting on the couch, on my phone most the day. I don’t even have the attention span or mental capacity to watch a tv show or movie. Or read a book. And on top of everything, I’m so embarrassed with myself for doing nothing.

I have a 2.5 year old boy and lately he is just horrible to me (mom). I am so nice to him (maybe too nice?) but more and more by the day he just acts out so bad towards me. Sometimes, all I have to do is look at him or gently touch him and he screams at me with rage “NOO!”.

His language still isn’t the best but if I’m trying to figure out what he wants, he just screams at me. No is is absolute favorite word. Even if he just asked for something, and I do it, then he randomly decides he doesn’t want it anymore, I get screamed at again.

Changing him is a nightmare. He kicks and rolls like crazy while screaming and clawing at anything he can, and it’s almost impossible for me to change him sometimes. It’s impossible for me to brush his teeth in my own unless I legitimately sit on him to pin his arms and body down (obviously I’m not bearing my whole weight on him and this is last option because he needs his teeth brushed).

I try to be present and sit with him when he’s eating, and sit with him and play with him. He will tell me to “Build mommy” to help him build his blocks. And then somehow I do it wrong and I get screamed at, but I’ll also get screamed at if I don’t build with him.

Often he’ll get so mad he will throw things or try to hit me. When this happens lately I’ve tried to hold boundaries such as taking the objects away, walking away myself, remaining calm but removing myself and any items hes throwing. He will cry and scream in anger more but eventually calm down.

I signed him up for swim classes and he literally has just been screaming the entire class. He likes the water (playing in it) but not the lesson itself. Anytime he’s not doing exactly what he wants, he’s raging. Even when I let him do what he wants, he still often gets frustrated with SOMETHING and starts raging.

Honestly I just don’t have it in my right now. A month ago I experienced a stillbirth at 8 months pregnant, and now I’m dealing with this day after day. I’m off work recovering from a c-section and emotionally and I find myself dropping him off at daycare everyday for as long as I can and when he’s home sometimes I just turn the tv on for way longer than I should just because it’s the easiest thing and I won’t have to deal with as many tantrums or him treating me like that. I know it’s probably making the problem worse but when I try to be a good parent, I just feel bullied and walked all over by my toddler.

I’ve always been a very calm person, so I never overreact to him. Which I’ve read is the best thing to do, but now I’m questioning it. Do I need to be more stern with him? Or do I just need to sit there and weather the storm when he’s being such a brat?

Does it get better? He’s an extremely stubborn kid, always been high maintenance, high emotions, never been easy with anything. I’m scared it’s not normal and he’s gonna be one of those kids that do this even when he’s older no matter what we do.

He doesn’t do this with my husband. He is also MUCH better behaved at daycare and with other people. Do I need to let my husband discipline him more? My husband wants to but I tell him he needs to be calm and ignore the tantrums, but now I don’t know. What are opinions on time outs?

Thanks everyone.

Signed an emotionally exhausted mom.

This honestly brought me a little happiness and peace. My son is 2.5, and also a bit speech delayed. Throughout my pregnancy I had told him I have a baby in my belly and asked if he wanted a baby sister and he honestly never showed signs of really understanding and mostly ignored me or said “no” (his favorite word, lol).

When I lost her at 33 weeks we did have my parents bring him into the hospital briefly to meet her and he still seemed pretty oblivious of everything and didn’t really want to go near her. She had passed right before delivery so she looked like a perfect sleeping baby, so he wasn’t scared, just uninterested.

Well today, we went to pick up her ashes. Neither of us had said the word baby or told him what we were doing, but when we walked into the room he saw the box and said “baby”. He kept saying baby, gently rubbing the box, wanted to hold it and even give it kisses. It was so sweet, and sad, at the same time. I just got a tiny glimpse of what he would’ve been like as a big brother.

Hi, we lost our baby girl at 33 weeks, 2 weeks ago, due to a placental abruption. The last two weeks have been a blur, but we were lucky to have out of state family fly in to support us these last two weeks since we don’t have any other support around us. We have a 2.5 yo toddler as well, who is just a handful, and they helped looked after him since I’m recovering from a c-section and my husband is also dealing with the grief.

I know it’s very early, but I know my husband and his coping skills aren’t very good. The first week or so he was very loving and supportive of me but now that it’s settled in more, it’s not great. He has communicated to me he is in a lot of pain (of course) and at first he did cry quite a bit, but now he’s getting to the withdraw/anger stage. This is normal how he deals with things and I’m extremely worried about it because this is the hardest thing either of us have ever had to go through.

He wants to withdraw into gaming/tv/or his phone. He also used to be a big gym person but our lives have been busy so he hasn’t in a while but now he wants to get back into the gym. Which you’d think is a good thing, but for him it’s literally all or nothing. He goes back to work in a week, but he’s told me he wants to go to workout classes everyday, twice a day, once in the early morning (so he’ll be gone for before our son wakes up then go straight to work) and then another class right after work so he won’t be home till after 7pm, or 8pm depending on the class.

I’m extremely hurt he’s even talking about this. I just told him last night I was worried about feeling alone after our parents left (they just flew home today) and worried about losing the support. I told him I was worried about getting the support from him because of his tendency to withdraw and be more impatient when he’s upset. I have told him I wanted to spend some more time with him, and prioritize more time as a family so we can be there as good parents for our toddler. I told him I didn’t want to have to ask for his help but needed us to be both active and present parents and partners because that’s what I need right now. Not only physically, because I am still receiving from a major surgery and I shouldn’t be carrying our toddler up and down stairs or bending over to give him baths by myself or dealing with all the kicking screaming tantrums alone. But also emotionally I want to cherish family time more.

But I genuinely believe everything I’ve said goes right over his head. And I don’t know why. He says “I’m going through it too” as if that’s his excuse. I understand that, but that’s not a reason to not be there for your wife and living child, right? I’m going through the grief as well and recovering physically but I still am trying to be a good mom and partner to him even when I sometimes just wanna hide from everyone. And I do sometimes, but only for a little while and then come right back and sit and play with my son and sit with him while he eats and remain calm when he has tantrums and I ask my husband hes doing and try to talk to him or offer him little things here and there.

Can anyone else relate? Should this be something I give him more grace for given the situation or is it not okay? What should my expectations be from my husband as far as supporting me when he’s personally struggling as well?

I made us an appointment with a therapist next week. I’m hoping it’ll help, both with the grief and how to deal with it together. But I’m thinking he may need his own and I may need my own therapy as well. I just don’t know if he will be able to go to many appointments since he will have no more PTO after this week.

I don’t even know what my question is or what to say. I just don’t really know someone to talk to about all of this. I just lost my baby girl, at 33 weeks last Thursday night, due to a sudden placental abruption. My doctor said I had no warning signs, or risk factors, and that it was completely random. I started cramping in after lunchtime while I was at work, but didn’t think a whole lot of it. I thought I was just crampy and achy. A couple hours later, I went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet and there was a big gush of blood all at once. I went to the hospital immediate after that, but the nearest hospital with a labor and delivery unit was an hour away. By the time I got there, there was no heartbeat.

She was delivered a couple hours later via c-section, due to my ongoing bleeding because my doctor was worried about me losing too much blood.

I went home the next day, and have just been trying to recover, and all I want to do is look at pictures of her. I just can’t believe it happened. But the weirdest thing is, it’s like I knew something bad was going to happen all along. I had a sort of anxiety about stillbirth and other complications ever since my last birth.

My first child made it to 38 weeks, when my water broke naturally. After laboring to 10 cm, I ended up with a crash emergency c-section because he was in distress. My husband didn’t even make it in the operating room and it was total chaos. He was born with 5 minutes from the time they rolled me out of the room and into the OR. The sheet they usually put up to block your view of the procedure was just throw over my b head/face instead, and the sound of the nurses yelling out counting and throwing the metal tools is engrained in my head. He didn’t cry for over a minute after he was taken out and he needed help to get breathing again.

Thankfully he is perfectly healthy now. He only needed about 12 hours in the nursery to monitor his oxygen levels. They didn’t have an explanation for why it happened, other than sometimes babies can just struggle with labor and I was having contractions with no breaks in between.

They didn’t send my placenta to pathology afterwards and said the only thing was it was a very small placenta (like 1st percentile small) which even though it sustained baby and there was no growth restriction, it could be why he struggled with the contractions).

Ever since then I wondering if there was something wrong with my placenta, why was it so small? But every appointment with my OB and new OB there has been absolutely zero concern and baby was growing nice and healthy until it happened. I had my first appointment with an MFM on last Monday because I had just been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, but baby was growing right in track, and they didn’t another long ultrasound in which everything looked great. And then this happened on Thursday.

I’ve always been a problem solver. And that’s what I want to do. Figure out how and why this happened so I can prevent it from happening again. I guess that’s how I’m coping right now. But I’m not accepting the answer I’m getting that it was just “random, bad luck”.

I want to have another baby eventually, but how can I do it with the unknown?

I unfortunately just lost my baby girl at 33.5 weeks. I was at work when I had a placental abruption. By the time I got to the hospital, my baby didn’t have a heartbeat anymore. And due to the bleeding, severe cramping, and I had started developing DIC, my OB decided I pretty much needed an urgent C-Section.

The c-section went well and thankfully I didn’t even lose enough blood to need any transfusions, just got a little anemic. I spent some time in the hospital with baby girl but got discharged the next day. I’m only a few days out from all this, and I figured I’d be taking off the full 8 weeks for the C-section recovery (or probably moreso the emotional recovery).

I am just wondering for this situation how long others took off work. I was planning on taking off 12 weeks for maternity leave but now that this happened I’m not sure. I could probably physically go back by 6 weeks since I have a sedentary job, but that would probably feel too soon for me emotionally. But at the same time, I think maybe I’ll be more depressed taking a long “maternity” leave but I’ll just be at home alone with no baby.

I was having a relatively healthy pregnancy, except for being recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which my doctors weren’t too concerned about and figured my diet alone would manage it well.

I went to the MFM appointment on Monday, got a long ultrasound scan done. Everything looked great, they said. Baby measuring right at 46th percentile and nothing else was mentioned as a concern.

Thursday, at work, I started having some cramps/aches in the afternoon. I thought, normal pregnancy discomforts. They got more uncomfortable as time went on but still didn’t feel like severe pain or contractions. More just achy and bothersome.

By 5pm, I went to the toilet, and sat down and experienced a big gush of blood, three hours after the initial cramping started. I was still at work. I immediately called my coworker in and she offered to drive me to the hospital.

I work in a smaller town outside a big metro area so the closest labor and delivery hospital was 50 minutes away with traffic. But I knew that’s where I needed to go.

By the time I got there, my baby girl was gone.

I was still bleeding heavily and it was picking up, and the cramping getting worse and worse. My doctor made the call I needed a C-section to remove her quickly so I don’t bleed to death. My labs showed I was DIC, so as soon as they saw that I went to the c-section right away after they got everything prepped.

We spent 15 hours with our baby girl, and then decided (with doctors permission) to be discharged early so we could go home and start to heal.

My husband is absolutely devastated. As am I. We are just constantly crying. I can’t believe this happened. I can’t believe it. She looked so perfect. She was 4 lbs 4 oz. All her features were perfectly formed. She looked like her older brother, peacefully sleeping.

My doctor assures me it wasn’t my fault and it was completely random as I didn’t have any of the risk factors, but I can’t help but think it was my fault. I didn’t eat healthy this pregnancy (I only started eating a little better after being diagnosed with GD a few weeks ago). I didn’t exercise or drink nearly enough water. I drank energy drinks. I didn’t consistently take a prenatal. I worked and stressed so much this pregnancy. I was so stressed and doing way too much, and emotional.

How do I even tell people this happened? How do I eventually go back to work and have everyone know that my baby died?

I just don’t know what to do from here. And I’m terrified of the possibility of being pregnant again knowing this is the worst case scenario and could happen again. My first, ended in an emergency c-section due to possible placenta issues as well, but at least he survived. Now this. I want to give him a sibling but the thought is terrifying.

I am 32 weeks pregnant, I haven’t been worried about BP until last weekend, I got a random headache (I never get headaches) that lasted 4 days. I also noticed swelling in my hands when waking up (mostly just my right hand?) and randomly when I went shopping my hand was swelling. The headache or the swelling wasn’t severe but it was out of the ordinary for me. This is my second child. The headache was tolerable but definitely bothersome enough to take Tylenol a few times, which did help for 2 hours then it would come back. On the fourth day, the headache did finally go away and has barely been back since.

I did decide to get a blood pressure monitor off Amazon just in case and I have mostly had readings in the 130s/80s. A few times they were lower and on two occasions it read just above 140/90.

Google tells me anything over 120/80 is elevated but 140/90 is high. At my OB appointment this morning I was 132/82. Nurse and OB just comments “BP looks good!”

So what’s the deal? As I good or should I keep monitoring just in case? I told my OB about the headaches and the couple readings over 140/90 and he was not concerned in the slightest.

I also just got diagnosed with gestational diabetes so I may be a little anxious about things going wrong and my risk factors. I had an emergency c-section last time (due to fetal stress during labor that I don’t really know a cause for). I guess I’m just more on high alert as I near the end of this pregnancy. I’m also still working full time, have a toddler, and moving, all while husband also works full time and is a full time student, so stress could be a factor.

Update: Thanks for weighing in everyone. I know my answer, I pretty much already knew it was a no for me but wanted to know from others if I was just being overly anxious or not. I told my husband and he’s going to talk to his parents about it, and even about him continuing daycare as normal even when FIL is in town. I said it’s okay if he wants to keep him home from daycare for a day or two but not most the time. MIL will just be out to visit for a week after the baby comes and she will have to be okay with that.

My husband and I are about to have our second baby in August. We’ve asked my FIL if he could come stay with us just before and after the birth to be here to help watch our toddler when I’m in the hospital and help out where possible. He does not work right now because he retired early due to some health issues. He’s relatively healthy now and doing better but still has a little less stamina and gets headaches.

During the time he stays with us, our toddler with still have access to daycare and all that so we really just need him for when I’m giving birth in the hospital and help out where he can. FIL is saying he wants to keep him home from daycare most the time which even that I’m kind of wary of, but we will see how it goes.

When we initially asked, my MIL, who is a full time nurse, and is wonderful, got a bit jealous that she can’t take that much time off work and asked instead if our toddler can just come stay with them (in another state) instead of FIL flying out to stay with us. They said three weeks, to which I said no I am not comfortable with that.

For one, I want our toddler to keep somewhat of a routine considering we are also bringing a new sibling to the mix. He’s also only ever spent a night away from us.

Now I feel like they are pushing the issue still because even though they accepting it and agreed FIL would come out here for 3 weeks (with MIL joining for 1 week at the end of his stay), now they are asking if they can take him back home with them for 2 weeks after that and then my SIL can bring him back when she comes to visit two weeks after they leave.

My husband seems to respect what I am comfortable with but he also says he doesn’t see an issue with it. I still think it’s too long for him being so young. But on the other hand, my husband and I have no family support in our area so my husband thinks it would be helpful to have some time to focus on the new baby. But with that said, I don’t want our toddler to think we sent him away because we replaced him with a new baby! Even if it would give us a little relief.

I also don’t really get it because while FIL doesn’t work, my MIL does work quite a bit. I know other family members would see and help out with our toddler too but everyone else also works so it worries me that my FIL would be with him alone a lot. I just think he would be a lot for him to handle.

I know they have good intentions and just want to spend time with him, and they also are great with him, but I seriously still don’t think it’s the right move. What do you guys think? I’m I being too weird about it?

My husband says he used to stay with him grandparents a lot during the summers, for much longer periods of time, but he admits probably not when he was that young.

I never had issues with high blood pressure readings so I’m not sure when to be concerned. I just spoke with a nurse at my OB office who very much was not concerned and I felt a little brushed off but maybe I truly don’t need to worry?

Since Saturday, so for almost 48 hours now, I’ve had a mild headache. Which isn’t that concerning but I honestly never get headaches so it has stood out to me that not only I have a headache but it’s not going away. I took Tylenol twice for it and it did help for a few hours but then came back after it wore off.

I also woke up with hand swelling last week and thought nothing of it but yesterday my right hand randomly swelled while I was grocery shopping. Not severe but noticeable when I try to make a fist. This morning I also woke up with some mild swelling in hands. So that combined with the headaches made me a little worried and I ordered a BP monitor from Amazon.

My BP readings are averaging about 135/78. I got one reading at 144/84. The nurse said it’s slightly high but don’t be worried until Tylenol doesn’t help the headache and numbers are consistent over 140/90. And she said it has to be BOTH numbers that are high, not just one.

I guess I’m just worried that this is the beginning and it will get worse. But I’ve also had a lot going on and pretty stressed at work, moving houses, a toddler at home in his terrible twos, and my husband working and in school. I also just found out I have a mild case of gestational diabetes.

I am 31 weeks pregnant. Has anyone had more minor symptoms like this and then it got worse, or didn’t get worse?

Hi ladies, unfortunately I just failed my 3 hour glucose test on Friday. My numbers were:

Fasting - in range at 78
1 hour - out of range at 189
2 hour - out of range at 186
3 hour - in range at 110

I feel good about my fasting and 3 hour numbers. Would this be considered a mild case? My OB office just referred me to a MFM Dr. so I have to wait to get a call and schedule an appointment with them.

This is my second pregnancy. My first I failed the 1 hour but passed the 3 hour and it was an uncomplicated pregnancy. I did end up with an emergency c section due to fetal distress during labor and potential placenta insufficiency found out after the fact but my baby grew to normal size and water broke naturally at 38 weeks.

This pregnancy so far has been uncomplicated, baby measured at 40th percentile at 28 weeks. Blood pressure has also been normal up until this weekend I started getting headaches, mild swelling in my hands, and slightly high blood pressure but the nurse didn’t sound too concerned when I called.

Could blood pressure issues be associated with the GD diagnosis? I’m worried I’m gonna have more complications now.

I guess I just need a bit of a reality check, or pep talk, or both. Because I’m about to start a fight with my husband and I don’t know if it’s warranted, lol.

I work as a senior city planner, full time. Got tons of meeting and numerous projects I’m juggling. We are in the middle of moving. Everything’s a mess. I am 30 weeks pregnant. I have. 2.5 yo whose always been high needs and emotional, now in his terrible twos. He screams, cries, hits, throws things, has an attitude, tantrums all the time. Not potty trained yet, not even close. Have multiple appointments I need to go to and need to bring him to. My husband works full time and he just started school as well (yesterday) which is 4 days a week, Monday through Thursday, from 6-9pm. Two of those days are zoom, two in person. Regardless, now I’m single parenting those nights.

That is all. I want to be mad at my husband for starting school right now, but also a big motivation for doing so was to make more money for us. He’s using his GI Bill from the military and gets $2k+ a month while he’s in school full time (while attending at least one class in person) to help pay for housing. And with moving, we upgraded from a 1 bedroom, 630 sf apartment to a 3 bedroom townhome that is much more expensive so we could use the money.

Maybe I’ve been lucky to always have his help and also have daycare during the day, but it’s so hard single parenting a toddler, while also being pregnant and having other things going on as well, with work and moving. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this pregnancy with this schedule. I already feel huge and uncomfortable, not sleeping well, exhausted, stressed, back pain.

And to top it off, my husband can only take 2 weeks off when I give birth. Last time, he was still in the military and got 3 months off. We also have zero family or friends that lives in our state. So no family help either, until one of our parents can come for short visits.