u/OatmealDurkheim

I don't know if it's just me, but whenever I do anything like switch to Balanced, waste time, play a more defensive formation (remove a second striker for an extra defender on stopper duties) I just end up conceding goals.

I just had a match where I was up 4-1 with the team I was playing against, and they were down one man (red card). Once I started to play defensively they got me back to 4-4 with 10 men in the last 15 minutes.

Are these features somewhat broken and attacking is the only way to play, or am I missing something?

Have any of you ever dealt with otherwise valuable friendships, where you felt like the entire responsibility for maintaining it was resting on your shoulders?

In other words, you ever felt like you wouldn't see one of your bros in the next 12 months (or maybe even ever again) if not for the fact that you reached out, made some plan, invited them somewhere, etc.

I have at least 3 people like that in my orbit, they are great guys otherwise and we go way back, but I guess they just suck at maintaining relationships with people (or that's how I excuse their behavior anyway) and due to various life circumstances we no longer can just "bump into each other."

[To clarify 3 separate friendships, not linked to each other, so not like a group that is excluding me or anything]

I'm not going to lie, this can feel shitty sometimes. And during moments when I'm already feeling down, sometimes I even wonder if these people are my friends at all. Like, if I just chose to "make a point" and wait until they reach out next time, would I ever even hear from them again?

Question is, however, do I actually want to make that "point" and cut them loose? Let's be honest, I'm approaching 40, and yeah... it's not exactly like I'm making a ton of new meaningful friendships. If anything, the number of bros I truly vibe with has dwindled down to a select few.

Given this midlife reality, it seems a bit aimless to terminate 3 decent friendships just because my ego is a little bruised. They suck at the whole picking up the phone and reaching out thing, and I happen to not suck at it, and maybe that's just how it is (and it doesn't have to be that deep: I don't suck at it, so I'm the one calling). The important part is that when we get together the relationship is not surface level and definitely worth having. I also know that when I do call them, and need something, they have my back. One of these dudes recently drove 6 hours to help me out.

But yeah, then I wonder... am I just making excuses for them, because I want them in my life? Am I just lying to myself that these people actually care? If I died in a car crash tomorrow, how many months or years would it take 'em to figure out my number is out of service? It feels a bit pathetic.

To preempt the question, yes I did talk to them about it at some point. The responses are always similar: they're not good with their phones, they don't like calling, etc. And maybe that's all true. Or maybe if they actually cared they would reach out. IDK man.

Mam na myśli szeroko rozumiany świat sztuki: malarzy, pisarzy, reżyserów/aktorów filmowych lub teatralnych, krytyków, dziennikarzy kulturalnych i innych osób powiązanych z tym obiegiem (np. scenarzystów). Z zewnątrz czasem można odnieść wrażenie, że to dosyć zamknięte środowisko; często, gdy sprawdza się bio jakiegoś młodego polskiego artysty, okazuje się, że jest synem krytyka, wnukiem aktora itd. Nie mam tu na myśli stricte nepotyzmu (choć zapewne tego też nie brakuje), ale bardziej po prostu sieci dobrze ukorzenionych znajomości czy powiązań: rodzinnych, szkolnych lub „sąsiedzkich”. Takie, zakładam, obracanie się od dzieciaka w właściwych dla tego świata częściach Krakowa czy Warszawy, które umożliwia młodemu człowiekowi znalezienie sobie drogi to tego lub tamtego artystycznego fachu (lub nawet uświadamia mu sam fakt, że jest to możliwe).

Chętnie poznam opinię, zwłaszcza tych, którzy należą, lub próbowali należeć, do tego świata. Zastanawiam się, jak to wygląda dla osób, które chcą/próbują/próbowały robić coś artystycznego w Polsce? Czy to co opisałem rzeczywiście istnieje? Czy jest barierą? Czy mieliście poczucie, że nie macie wstępu do tego świata bez właściwego zaplecza społeczno-kulturowego? Lub, że nawet robiąc swoje i odnosząc sukcesy zawodowe nie "należycie" do niego i jesteście dalej na marginesie?

[Dodam, że zdaję sobie sprawę, że nie jest to wyłącznie polska kwestia, raczej chyba standard dla tego typu środowisk, ale interesują mnie właśnie nasze polskie realia.]