u/ObjectiveCamp6

My schema therapist has been checking in with me once a day outside of therapy because of my medical condition and the level of vulnerability I’ve been in after severe abuse by a previous mental health practitioner. The legal case has now concluded, but I’m still left feeling shaken, hyper-alert, and very alone in my body.
My current therapist has been consistently kind, steady, and caring in a way I haven’t really experienced before, and I do trust her. And yet she’s now going away for 10 days, and the daily check-ins that have been quietly holding me together are stopping.
I find myself in a split place. One part of me understands she needs rest and very much wants that for her. But another part feels like the ground has been pulled away without warning, and the support I was leaning on has suddenly disappeared.
What’s making this harder is that my reaction doesn’t feel fully present-day. It feels like my nervous system has been thrown back into an old story.
My previous therapist became unpredictable with contact before things escalated into abuse, messaging, then silence, then sudden reappearance, with no stability or sense of safety. Eventually, I was seriously harmed. Even though I know my current therapist is nothing like that person, my body doesn’t seem to register the difference right now.
Since hearing about the break, I feel like I’ve been spiralling in a way that’s hard to explain. It’s not just worry, it’s a deep, disorienting sense of being unmoored, like I’m back in that old place of waiting, not knowing, and bracing for something bad to happen. I don’t know why she felt it was safe to do this- leave me where I am with no check ins. She didn’t bring this up neither did we planned for it.
I keep trying to remind myself that this is planned, this is safe, this is different. But emotionally, it still feels like abandonment is happening all over again.
Has anyone else with complex trauma or attachment wounds found that a planned therapist break still triggered intense abandonment feelings? If so, what helped you get through the time they were away, practically or emotionally? I am not talking about journaling but something more cognitive and skill based, and was there anything your therapist did when they returned that helped repair that rupture or settle your nervous system again? Thank you.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for about three years, and we do schema therapy. The therapeutic relationship is a really important part of the work we’ve done together.
Recently, I found a book that describes experiences I’ve related to since I was very young. Reading it has helped me feel understood, and I think it also explains parts of my inner world that I’ve struggled to put into words.
I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to give her a copy. It wouldn’t be an expensive gift, more something symbolic that says this helped me understand myself, and I thought it might help you understand me too.
For context, she has accepted thoughtful cards I’ve made for her before. She has also given me a small teddy bear because I never had one growing up, along with the companion book that goes with it, as part of our therapeutic work.
I’m aware therapists have professional boundaries around gifts, and I’d completely respect it if she said no. I’m just wondering whether offering a book like this would generally be considered appropriate, or whether it might put her in an awkward position.
I’d really appreciate hearing from therapists and clients, especially anyone with experience of schema therapy.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for about three years, and we do schema therapy. The therapeutic relationship is a really important part of the work we’ve done together.
Recently, I share with her about a book I read when I was a child, that describes experiences I’ve related to since I was very young. Reading it has helped me feel understood, and I think it also explains parts of my inner world that I’ve struggled to put into words.
I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to give her a copy. It wouldn’t be an expensive gift, more something symbolic that says this helped me understand myself, and I thought it might help you understand me too.
For context, she has accepted thoughtful cards I’ve made for her before. She has also given me a small teddy bear because I never had one growing up, along with the companion book that goes with it, as part of our therapeutic work.
I’m aware therapists have professional boundaries around gifts, and I’d completely respect it if she said no. I’m just wondering whether offering a book like this would generally be considered appropriate, or whether it might put her in an awkward position.
I’d really appreciate hearing from therapists and clients, especially anyone with experience of schema therapy.

I asked my therapist if we could watch a short animated film together during one of our sessions. It’s based on a book she introduced me to that has become incredibly important in my therapy.
To my surprise, she said she’d love to. It might seem like such a small thing, but it felt really meaningful to me. Sharing something that has become part of our therapeutic work feels very special and authentic.
That book has helped me feel understood and safe in ways I struggle to put into words, and the idea of experiencing the animation together feels like a continuation of that. It reminded me that therapy isn’t just about talking, sometimes it’s about sharing moments that help you feel connected and understood.
Has anyone else had moments like this in therapy that felt unexpectedly significant?

I have severe CPTSD and have also been physically unwell, with multiple hospital admissions over the past few months. I’m completely exhausted, but I don’t feel able to rest properly at home because it’s full of triggers and I stay on high alert.
My therapist’s office is one of the very few places where I genuinely feel safe.
Would it be inappropriate to ask my therapist if, during a therapy session, I could rest or even sleep for a short while if I became overwhelmed? I’m not trying to avoid therapy—I just feel like my body is completely exhausted, and it’s the only place where I feel safe enough to let my guard down.
Has anyone asked their therapist something like this? If you’re a therapist, how would you respond to a client making this request? Thank you

I have severe CPTSD and have also been physically unwell (autoimmune diseases and immunocompromised) with multiple hospital admissions over the past few months. I’m completely exhausted, but I don’t feel able to rest properly at home because it’s full of triggers and I stay on high alert.
My therapist’s office is one of the very few places where I genuinely feel safe.
Would it be inappropriate to ask my therapist if, during a therapy session, I could rest or even sleep for a short while if I became overwhelmed? I’m not trying to avoid therapy, I just feel like my body is completely exhausted, and it’s the only place where I feel safe enough to let my guard down.
Has anyone asked their therapist something like this? If you’re a therapist, how would you respond to a client making this request? Thank you

I have severe CPTSD and have also been physically unwell (autoimmune diseases and immunocompromised) with multiple hospital admissions over the past few months. I’m completely exhausted, but I don’t feel able to rest properly at home because it’s full of triggers and I stay on high alert.
My therapist’s office is one of the very few places where I genuinely feel safe.
Would it be inappropriate to ask my therapist if, during a therapy session, I could rest or even sleep for a short while if I became overwhelmed? I’m not trying to avoid therapy, I just feel like my body is completely exhausted, and it’s the only place where I feel safe enough to let my guard down.
Has anyone asked their therapist something like this? If you’re a therapist, how would you respond to a client making this request? Thank you

I wanted to share something small that has meant more to me than I expected. Therapy has always felt scary to me. I have history of CPTSD and I am neurodivergent.
I am very unwell at the moment, and there are times when words feel impossible. When my therapist checks in with me, I started using a simple emoji because it was the only way I could communicate where I was emotionally without having to explain everything.
Before anyone makes comments about her checking in on me, this is something we agreed on, she practices DBT and Schema models, and I feel no pressure from her.
What has been unexpectedly powerful is that she responds with an emoji that matches mine, or one that feels like it belongs in the same little “story” or emotional space. It sounds so simple, but it has made me feel, for the first time in a while, that someone is actually meeting me where I am, rather than asking me to move somewhere else before they can understand.
When you are scared, overwhelmed, and struggling to make sense of what is happening, being met in that moment can feel incredibly grounding. It is not about the emoji itself; it is about the message underneath it, like if she is saying “I see you. I’m here with you. I’m not asking you to pretend you are somewhere else.”
I didn’t realise how much I needed that kind of connection until it happened. I wonder if this is something that anyone else has experienced here, and if so, how can you help me describe how it feels like so that I can share with my therapist. I struggle with how to communicate this to her, or whether the way I have written it here might be a good way to share it with her.

I wanted to share an experience I had today and hear people’s thoughts.

I called a service company in London and found it very difficult to understand the person on customer service. I asked several times if she could spell out the email address word by word so I could contact the company in writing instead, but she continued explaining things verbally. I genuinely tried for over an hour, but I still couldn’t understand the information I was being given.

I want to be clear that this is not a criticism of diversity or accents. London is one of the most multicultural cities in the world, and I have lived in different countries, travelled extensively, and really value the richness that comes from people from different backgrounds communicating together.

My question is about accessibility and effective communication in customer-facing roles. If a customer and staff member cannot understand each other despite repeated attempts, what systems should be in place to help? Sometimes the most inclusive approach may be offering alternatives such as written communication, email, or another colleague who can assist, so that everyone can access the service equally.

Has anyone else in London experienced something similar, either as a customer or someone working in customer service? I’d be interested to hear different perspectives.

I’m planning to make Aliyah from London and am looking for recommendations for companies that pack, transport, and ship personal belongings from the UK to Israel.
If you’ve done this recently, who did you use, and how was your experience? I’d love to hear about pricing, reliability, communication, and whether there are any companies you’d recommend or avoid.
Thank you!

I would appreciate some advice.

I have a well-established career in the mental health sector, and in March last year, I joined a startup working with young people. I am quite well known in my field and wanted a new challenge because I believed in the company's mission.

Unfortunately, the role has gradually become very different from what was described in my contract and during the recruitment process. A significant amount of the work I'm now expected to do wasn't part of the original role.

More recently, I've also been asked to share the model and approach I've developed through my own private work. This is something I've spent years developing independently, and I'm increasingly uncomfortable that it's being expected as part of my employment without any discussion about ownership, recognition, or additional compensation.

I'm starting to feel as though my expertise is being taken for granted, but I also don't know if I'm overreacting because startups are often less structured than larger organisations.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you handle it? Is it reasonable to push back and ask for clarity around my role and what I'm expected to share, or is this just something that's expected when working for a startup?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who've worked in startups or been in a similar situation.

I started montelukast on Thursday, and since then, I've been much more tearful than usual and have had persistent headaches. I am aware of the potential neuropsychiatric side effects, so I'm not looking for medical advice or to be told about the warnings. I just wanted to ask whether anyone who experienced these side effects found that they settled over time, or whether they continued until you stopped the medication.

I'm really struggling with something and wondered if anyone else has experienced this.

I do schema therapy with my therapist. Because of severe malpractice from a previous mental health provider, along with earlier trauma, I have a very hard time trusting people.

My therapist has repeatedly told me that it's okay to message her between sessions. She continues to reassure me that I'm not doing anything wrong and that I can reach out when I need to. But I just can't believe her.

I've brought this up with her so many times because every time I message, I feel like I'm crossing a boundary or doing something I'm not supposed to do. I keep waiting for the moment she'll suddenly decide I've messaged too much or that I'm "too much."

She recently asked me, "What can I do that would help you trust me?" and I honestly had no answer. I don't know the answer to much in my life right now.

I'm also autistic, and I often feel misunderstood. I struggle to know what the "rules" are in relationships, especially therapeutic ones, and I'm terrified of getting them wrong.

Is it actually okay to message a therapist if they've explicitly said it's okay? Has anyone else found it impossible to trust reassurance like this? If you eventually learned to trust your therapist, what helped?

I have been asked to add this medication to my current treatment plan. My doctor has advised me to start on 5 mg and increase to 10 mg after two weeks.

I’d be interested to hear about other people’s experiences with this medication, particularly at these doses. How did you find the initial adjustment period, and did you notice any benefits or side effects when increasing from 5 mg to 10 mg?

A few years ago, I tried Montelukast and experienced significant mood-related side effects. My circumstances are quite different now, so I’m considering giving it another try, but I’m keen to hear how others have got on with it. Thanks

I’m currently taking 4 mg of ketotifen and was wondering whether anyone noticed significant improvements after increasing to 8 mg.

If you did increase, what symptoms improved (if any), and how long did it take to notice a difference? Did the higher dose cause any additional side effects, such as increased fatigue or brain fog?

I know we all experience medications differently, but any experiences would be helpful since I am feeling unsure about the doctor’s request to increase to 8mg (gradual increase).

I’ve been having a really rough time with my physical health and have been in hospital for about a week now. I also have a lot of trauma connected to hospitals and medical settings because of past abuse, so being here has been incredibly hard for me emotionally.

My therapist (I've been seeing her for three years) has been reaching out to check in on me while I’m here. She even called me to help calm me down enough to allow the doctors to provide care. She’s honestly been wonderful. The problem is that I keep asking her over and over whether she’s really okay providing this level of support. She tells me that her training and therapeutic approach support this kind of care, and that she’s happy to do it. She’s DBT-informed and a schema therapist.

I think part of the issue is that I don’t feel worthy of care, but I also struggle to believe someone can show up consistently like this without eventually hurting me, resenting me, or deciding I’m “too much.” Intellectually, I know she has boundaries and that I shouldn’t be responsible for worrying about her, but emotionally, I can’t seem to trust it.

Does this sound like normal or appropriate care from a therapist? Has anyone else struggled to believe a therapist could genuinely care and still maintain healthy boundaries?

I’ve been seeing my schema therapist for 3 years and I’m confused about something in the therapeutic relationship and wondering if it’s normal in schema therapy.

She checks in on me fairly regularly between sessions, especially when I’m struggling. She’s never pressured me or crossed boundaries, and honestly she’s one of the safest people I’ve ever known. I’m autistic, have severe trauma, and don’t really have anyone else in my life, so those check-ins can make me feel less alone and emotionally held in a way I’ve never really experienced before.

At the same time, it feels very emotionally intense and vulnerable because I’m not used to someone consistently caring or staying present. I keep wondering whether this level of contact is something that can happen in schema therapy, especially with trauma/attachment difficulties, or whether my situation is unusual.

I’ve spoken to her about it and she’s reassured me, but I still feel confused by the emotional impact it has on me more than by her behaviour itself.

I’ve been seeing my schema therapist for 3 years and I’m confused about something in the therapeutic relationship and wondering if it’s normal in schema therapy.

She checks in on me fairly regularly between sessions, especially when I’m struggling. She’s never pressured me or crossed boundaries, and honestly she’s one of the safest people I’ve ever known. I’m autistic, have severe trauma, and don’t really have anyone else in my life, so those check-ins can make me feel less alone and emotionally held in a way I’ve never really experienced before.

At the same time, it feels very emotionally intense and vulnerable because I’m not used to someone consistently caring or staying present. I keep wondering whether this level of contact is something that can happen in schema therapy, especially with trauma/attachment difficulties, or whether my situation is unusual.

I’ve spoken to her about it and she’s reassured me, but I still feel confused by the emotional impact it has on me more than by her behaviour itself.

I’ve been seeing my schema therapist for 3 years now and I’m a bit confused about something in the therapeutic relationship and wanted to ask if this is normal within schema therapy.

My therapist reaches out to check on me fairly regularly between sessions, especially when I’m struggling. She never pressures me, never crosses boundaries, and honestly has been one of the safest people I’ve ever known. I’m autistic, have severe trauma, and basically don’t really have anyone else in my life, so sometimes those check-ins make me feel less alone and more emotionally held than I’ve ever experienced before.

At the same time, it also feels very vulnerable and intense for me emotionally, because I’m not used to someone caring or staying present. I think part of me keeps wondering whether this level of contact/checking in is normal for schema therapy specifically, or whether my situation is unusual.

She’s never done anything that felt manipulative or inappropriate, and I genuinely can’t fault her clinically. I think I’m more confused by the emotional impact it has on me than by her behaviour itself.

Is regular therapist check-in/contact something that can happen in schema therapy, especially with severe trauma/attachment issues, autism, etc. Or is this outside what would normally happen in this modality?

I have spoken to her about it, despite her reassurances, I continue to feel confused.

Hi everyone,

I’m feeling quite scared about trying Montelukast again, and was wondering if anyone here has had a similar experience.

A few years ago, when I tried it, I felt like my mood really did not agree with it. I experienced quite significant psychological side effects, and it made me stop the medication fairly quickly. Because of that, I’ve been very hesitant to ever try it again.

However, more recently, two different specialists have independently recommended that I consider giving it another try because of my symptoms and possible MCAS involvement.

I’m feeling really conflicted because part of me worries I’ll experience the same reaction again, while another part wonders whether the context could be different this time, especially as my health picture is clearer now and I would be approaching it more cautiously.

I was wondering if anyone had a bad experience with montelukast the first time, but a better or more tolerable experience when retrying it later? Did anyone find that starting at a very low dose or introducing it differently helped? Or did your body/mast cell symptoms improve enough that the benefits outweighed the psychiatric side effects?

I know everyone reacts differently, and I’m not looking for medical advice, just hoping to hear other people’s experiences because I’m honestly quite anxious about it.

Thank you.