Pregnant and scared!
Hi, my partner (30M) and I (29F)found out I was pregnant a few days ago. We had been trying for nearly a year.
We decided to stop trying and focus on getting married next year instead and I had come to terms with that. Only to find out in pregnant the month we stop trying! I was so so so shocked and still am. I thought I would be excited and happy but I actually feel a bit sad and like I had come to terms with a different plan for us.
I also feel stupid like I never really thought this through in the first place, both my partner and I have good jobs but we cannot afford the £1,800-£2,000 a month childcare fees in the south east of the uk. I hadn’t realised it would be that much! We aren’t entitled to any help either as we don’t get any benefits etc. We also don’t have family support near by.
I get 6 months full pay maternity leave and can’t afford to take unpaid leave so will go back to work but our baby’s due in April so I won’t have the 30 hours free childcare until April 2028 so 5-6 months of full funding myself.
I’m only 4 weeks pregnant so it’s so early but I’m genuinely having sleepless nights and panicking so much about this and that I’ve made a huge mistake not being more careful after we decided to wait. I don’t know if I can continue with this pregnancy and I’m scared to tell anyone…. I feel like I’m going crazy.
How are people coping with child care costs? It feels genuinely more doable if you give up your house/ mortgage and claim benefits then to work and have a baby.
I earn more than my partner so loosing my salary is not an option, we can’t live off one salary regardless as my fiancees salary alone only just covers our mortgage and bills etc. I just feel really stressed that I’ve been stupid.