u/Odd-Interaction-1550

My daughter is 2 years old. Previously when we were getting too many toys or the toys got broken I would throw them away or donate what she no longer played with but now she is 2 and much more aware. I do want to teach her the importance of getting rid of clutter but I have a feeling she will want to keep everything and maybe I should wait until she is older to include her. Anyone dealt with this issue? What did you do and when did you start including your kids in donations?

And seriously, it was worth every damn penny. I have been in therapy since I was a kid, usually going to free sessions or very cheap practitioners that I could afford. This was the first therapist that didn't just nod along. I feel like I got more help in one hour than I had in all the last ten years of therapy combined, with the exception of the ADHD specialist who sadly had to move away. I cannot wait for our next session and I actually have homework. I seriously thought she would be freaked out since I just basically sobbed for an hour straight, but it was such a wonderful experience.

Feeling a little down and need some pick me up motivation. Maybe some drama where she has to fight back against life circumstances and works her way up.

Something realistic please not where she becomes a badass immediately. She actually has to work for it.

I really don't know if what I am feeling is justified. On one hand my mom has mental and medical health issues. She is a cancer survivor. She is older in her 70's.

On the other hand I am so tired of being disappointed. I am tired of being the adult in our relationship. I am tired of making excuses for her. She is the type of grandmother that talks about wanting to spend time with my daughter and feels like they have a "special bond" but always without fail will cancel any meeting on the day. My daughter loves her grandmother and gets so disappointed when she doesn't show. I have now implemented a rule where I am just not going to let the kiddo know that my mom is coming and if she actually does show up it will be a surprise.

She gets jealous because her Mom (my great grandmother) has a relationship with my daughter. My great grandmother is 96 and we go there every saturday and my great grandmother has a snack made and spends a few hours reading, playing legos, and feeding the ducks with my daughter. My god, I am so grateful to her.

My Mom always talks about how she would love to have a better relationship with my daughter she feels like she never gets to see her. Now, you may be asking, why don't I just drive down to see my Mom myself since she is older.

Because there is literally no where safe to take my kid! No mom, I am not going to bring my toddler to your smoke ridden, urine and cat hoarded infested apartment. No, I don't want her around whatever neighbor you're trading drugs with and smoking weed with. My daughter deserves better than that even if you see nothing wrong with it.

She now has to get an ovary removed and my family is expecting her to get it done in a few hours. But if not they want me to take care of her.

And honestly, I feel guilty that I just can't. It won't be approved by FMLA because it is supposed to be done in a few hours and I love my Mom. I am just so disappointed in her. What was the point of everyone working so hard to get rid of her cancer only for her to not do anything the doctor recommended, go deeper into drug use and become a shitty grandparent.

And what sucks the most is that I genuinely cannot tell her this because all the years of not taking care of herself, her depression, and the fact that she is older means it would do nothing but make her feel bad. It would be like kicking a person when they are down. She has never said one bad thing about me. She is my biggest fan and I love her but I also realize that she is selfish and my goal in life is to be nothing like her. I love my Mom but I can't respect the good majority of the decisions she has made.

Because really, this is a me problem. I want my mom to care and be better, but why would she? She has all necessities taken care of by my great grandmother. She gets disability payments and is happy smoking weed all day with her neighbors in her apartment, trading pills, petting her cats which are all sick and flea infested. She is happy with that life. I would like it to be different but it's not and I just have to have peace with that.

So had a horrible day yesterday. Kiddo has a tantrum which basically ended up with me streaming at my husband which I never do and then afterward spending the night reliving deeply repressed memories.

People have always told me that the fact I ended up with anything resembling stability is a miracle. I have been told that I had a rough life. I always thought they were being nice, but now that I am a mother and especially with what I remembered I realize they were genuine.

I genuinely had a fucked up childhood. It wasn't just a little homelessness and couch surfing. It was being put in dangerous and unstable situations over and over again. I was so scared and I didn't have anyone to protect me.

In response to this I am now feeling like my safety was ripped away. I always knew my childhood was a bit harder but I genuinely believed my Mom tried her best. Previously I couldn't remember much but what I did remember was being bored or having fun.

Now as a mother I can't believe some of the decisions my Mom made toward me and in response I have turned into a neurotic hyper individualistic "perfect" Mom obsessed with making sure my daughter has a great childhood so much that I am making myself miserable.

So I did find a therapist that specializes in new Mom's and also does hypnotherapy. She's an hour away and only has times open in the weekdays so with work I will have to leave extremely early and she's four times the amount of my previous therapist but if she can navigate this is may be worth it. Wish me luck.

Daughter is 2 years old. She tends to have tantrums when we take her out to eat. If he father and I are together it's not as bad but when we go out along it's horrible.

My perspective is that when she starts screaming and getting on the floor crying we pay and leave immediately. I always try to redirect her and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Her father's method is to ride out the storm. Take her outside and come back in once she's calmed down.

My perspective is that no one paid to hear a two year old cry because she isn't allowed to pull paintings from the wall and I feel like a bad mother.

My husband's perspective is that all I am teaching her is that is she makes a fuss she gets to leave and that people need to calm down because she's two. He also said that we are not teaching her proper manners if we.never let her practice.

I had her tantrums and manners down pat before but then I had to start going back to work. I finally lost it today and told him I would no longer be going with them to medium or fancy level restaurants. I would still take her to fast food or small places to practice where we could have a quick escape but until she could be trusted I would no longer subject myself to this misery.

My husband accused me of giving up to easily, having unrealistic expectations. I felt so attacked I ended up screaming at him in front of my kid about basic "butt in seat rules" which surprised me. We don't scream or yell we always calmly talk about things and it came out of no where, almost like I dissociate. It was so weird.

Obviously we have apologized but tomorrow I told him could get a baby sitter when we go to olive garden or we could go separately on different days because I am doing my best to be a great mom but taking her out to eat gets me so depressed. I feel so stressed, angry, put on the spot, and sad when I go out to eat with her. Eating out with other's used to be ny favorite activity and now it's something I despise if I have to take my daughter.

I think this is a half way decent solution until she gets a little older or have more practice to save my mental health.

I have been using a "Do this for 30 days and money will follow you" hypnosis on YT. And to be fair for the less than a week I have been doing it it has worked great.

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But I am noticing I am now having memories pop up about when the money blocks started and I an able to realize specific beliefs I have regarding money and identity. Below are a few:

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Money makes a boring life.

You are a worse person with money because now you have nothing to strive for.

You become lazy with money because you can hire someone for everything.

Your skills will define because there is nothing to aim for.

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That is a few but they come to me with great clarity. So now that I know what beliefs are stopping me how do I stop them? I have no intention to stop doing the hypnosis.