u/Odd-Worldliness-9110

Element statistics or algebra? Math is not my easiest subject… I think am going to have to take element statistics. In person or on online?

I enrolled in a class that doesn’t have a professor listed, but all the class options have proferrors listed, Should I be worried? The class is at almost at capacity.

I (28F) recently found out information about my mom that completely changed the way I see her, and now I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting or finally seeing things clearly.

When my sister was younger, she was assaulted by a man. I found out my mom basically made a deal with him that if he left and never came back, she wouldn’t press charges. Apparently this happened more than once with different men over the years. One of the cases involving my sister has now been reopened, and the man involved was recently arrested. Since then, other charges involving other victims have also come out against him.

That alone shattered me because it forced me to realize this wasn’t some “misunderstanding” everyone tried to minimize. This was a dangerous person who continued hurting people, and instead of protecting her child, my mom protected him.

But it also reopened a lot of resentment from my own relationship with her.

A while back, my mom was having serious symptoms and she had to get medical help. It ended up being a brain aneurysm. She survived because she got treatment in time. Instead of being grateful, she later blamed ME for the hospital bills and financial stress from the situation, as if I somehow caused it by making her go to the hospital in the first place. At this time we found out the the sister who is 19 now is expecting her first child with her boyfriend. Since then my mother has acted off putting by me and seems to not want to have any thing to do with me.(not hurting my feelings)

That really stuck with me because it felt like no matter what role I played in her life, I ended up becoming the problem. If I did nothing, I was uncaring. If I stepped in and helped, I was blamed for the consequences.

Now looking back at everything together, I feel like there’s a pattern where my mom refuses accountability for anything painful and instead redirects blame onto other people, including her own children.

What makes this even harder is she still acts like she’s the victim in every situation. Meanwhile my sister has had to live with the trauma of being assaulted and effectively abandoned by the adults who were supposed to protect her.

Some family members think I should “let it go” because she’s still my mother and because “she did the best she could.” But I honestly don’t know how to move past realizing your parent repeatedly chose protecting men, protecting herself, and protecting appearances over protecting her kids.

I’ve emotionally pulled away from her, and part of me feels guilty for it. Another part of me feels like I’m finally seeing reality instead of the version of her I wanted to believe in.

AIO?

I have a friend who has been working at a company for 5 years, and they always do a small work and an anniversary thing for people. (She has shown me the post, etc.). I texted her just being nice and said “congratulations on 5 years at your company,” and she responded with “Thanks, you are the only one who remembers… and you don’t even work with me.”

I was a little shocked they seem to be a close team, but I know everything is not as it seems. I asked her if they ever did or said anything, and she said no, and I could tell it might have hurt a little. I tried my best to get her mind off of it and have fun. I feel bad for her and a little mad, like, how are you going to do all that for the others and then not do anything for one? Stupid, I know, but that’s crappy, right?