u/Ok-Carpenter-763

Hi again team,

I dropped from 10mg to 5mg Valium and that morning I couldn’t even type on my keyboard, it took me 3 hours to write one google search (every word spelled wrong and corrected by google).

I had one hand on my lap and was squinting using my index finger to type and missed every key for hours, profusely sweating.

I’ve never been a panic attack person, is this what they are?

Then I stood up and everything felt like a video game around me? I looked at my mum and was like oh if we both die now it dosent matter it’s all a game.

Is this what dp/dr is? I’ve done all mind bending drugs and comedowns but I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT!!!!! even on copious amount of ketamine for example or being spun on beer and a huge spliff, my mum forced me to take another 5mg to stabilise.

Confused as to what it was and if it was dangerous? (Death wise?). :///

Hi fellow addicts,

I’m a 20 year poly drug addict (heavy - opiates benzos etc etc high doses) and my next relapse will kill me, because I won’t just try one pill (those people don’t post here) , just had a 2 month detox including full blown phycosis etc and I know if I gob / relapse more pills again it will kill me or if it dosent due to my tolerance then I know i am not willing to go through this 2 month torture again (excruciating pain - loss of self - time - you name it)

Anyway my family can see me getting better - such as - actually talking, walking straight, not looking like a ghost and my clothes fit me.

The thing is they are incredibly old fashioned and think because I am starting to pop the odd smile here and there now and can talk I am ‘healed’. I said to my mum that’s not the way it works, I’m an addict till I die and I still have drug dreams and drug seeking behaviour.

The main issue behind my backstory (I’m still tapering benzos btw as we all know they take ages so I’m not even ‘clean’ ) and am done with being sick and tired etc is that my dad thinks I’m all good and ready to go to work soon, he’s old fashioned and never done drugs and dosent understand a full blown addiction is a disease.

He thinks I’m ready to go to work in a couple weeks when in reality I have extreme suicidal thoughts (well yeah brain is chemically messed up) and I know I will relapse, I don’t know what to do, I KNOW I will relapse with stress this early on and I’m 34 and been in active addiction for 20 years it’s all my mind and body know, I’m not ready to venture out, but he’s so old school he will just say man up, which I clearly have last 2 months in unbearable pain not relapsing.

I don’t know what to do, shall I just put myself out of misery? I have no support from him, he thinks me laughing at a film 2 months later his son is back.

I damn well ain’t, 20 years vs 2 months.

Had enough. Considering jumping at 10mg diazepam (down from 100mg 2 months ago)

Got edema (water retention and every morning I take it Valium just makes me depressed)

I’m not working so I might aswell just rough it out? I don’t need to function for kids or a job (luckily).

Was going to go down to 5mg but I’m thinking what’s the point? It will be another month of waking up to a tiny white pill struggling to see light end of tunnel.

I realise I’m lucky I’ve got no commitments or of course I would taper slowly if I was looking after kids and a 9-5.

Anyone jumped at similar dose or agree with my way or thinking? Every time I take a dose I’m delaying healing - let’s be honest about that fact.

Open to all comments :)

Hi guys, I have taken Valium for approx 16 months, few months in I got up to 100mg then had a car crash. I’m now under the care of a specialist drug doctor, he straight dropped me to 40mg, I had a month of vivid dreams and seeing he’ll (you get what I mean) that was last month (I am 6 weeks into a taper now).

Then 30mg for a month, then 20mg for 3 weeks, now 15mg for 3 weeks, then I will do 10mg after that for 3 weeks.

Only symptoms I have now after the brutal first month is waking up with a fast heartbeat (I dose one a day in morning and exercise, maintain healthy diet and listen to my body) no delirium or major side effects APART from waking up with a fast heartbeat.

Do you think I’m on the right tracks? The Dr (he is expensive and well known in London and said I am taking you off this than most others will do, I said I know based on the forums.

All sound OK? I’m 34m male no body fat with muscle, I am not interested in dropping 1mg or such every month, far too long IMO or what’s your input on this scenario, I won’t it out my blood asap as Valium now makes me depressed.

Thank you :)

As per title.