r/Quittingfeelfree

So I did Kratom for 12 years. Almost destroyed my life. November 2. The day my mother died I quit. Been off nearly ten months.
It has been hard. It has been a rough road. Three months ago I was in gas station. Lady showed me a pack of cat claw buzzers. I read it said no Kratom. I thought ok I can have this. It turned into an addiction. Spending lots of money. Taking six packs or more a day. 22 days ago I had six packs. I threw them in trash. Worst five to seven days ever. Worse than kratom acute.
I’m still very sluggish and sleep isn’t perfect.
I feel kinda ok in the evening.
Doc put me on Wellbutrin and Zoloft. I can’t tell if they help. Been on Wellbutrin four months. Zoloft two. Can’t tell nothing.
Hoping and praying to be back to normal one day. The struggle is real.

This might be obvious to many people out here already but I hope I can help at least one person by warning them about these new kava shots coming around. When I was coming off of a nasty kratom extract shot addiction I sought to use "kava" shots as a way to get through it easier. There's many of these tainted kava shots out there right now like boujee bliss, 777, juju, betterweather, etc.... My first introduction to it was my local smoke shop guy basically telling me "hey bro these new kava shots came in and they're just kava, these ones are FDA approved! (they're not)". When I quit kratom extracts I had nasty nasty anxiety and these "kava shots" took all the anxiety away like it was magic! I had a feeling this couldn't be just kava but kept looking at the ingredients and asking chat gpt about them and I really got finessed into thinking it was just kava. The brand I used in particular was "Juju by Krushed" and I used them all throughout quitting extracts and ended up just getting hooked on these hardcore. These things are dangerous asf man, they WILL cause withdrawals!!! My guess is they have tianeptine or 7oh in em. I started downing 3-6 of these a day which was even worse than my peek zana chill addiction. Thinking they were just kava made me feel okay to take as many as I needed to feel better and it got out of hand really fast. I've done my research and found only very small groups of people spreading awareness about these things, so I feel it's very important to get the word out more. Especially if kratom is banned in your state you can certainly expect to find these tainted shots around your stores.

I understand I'm a complete dumbass for ever trusting a smoke shop product to actually contain only the ingredients it claims to have in it. I am embarrassed that I was this naive and it led to me being hooked on bullshit for another few months. Anyways, please don't be dumb like me, if you see these products do not indulge... they are poison. About 2 weeks ago my liver started hurting and I started vomitting daily from these products. Thank god I had my bloodwork done and everything is healthy. Luckily it's completely scared me away from these products and forced me to face the reality of abusing bullshit smoke shop concoctions. I'm over 3 days clean from them and am not looking back. Love you guys, stay safe, healthy, and clean! 🫶🏼

Because I do. And it’s only because of Him that quitting Feel Free is becoming a reality for me. I’ve tried to quit several times in the past but the withdrawal-induced depression was far too much to take to stick with it.

Because I make a decent amount of money, buying a box a day - though financially disgusting - wasn’t too big of a deal. And because I didn’t have the mental or emotional fortitude to just quit, my financial stability enabled me to continue… until now. I never thought financial ruin would be a blessing but here we are.

Having asked God for an off ramp from Feel Free, He seemingly delivered in a most unconventional way - make me broke so I can’t afford to buy them, specifically during the period of time it’ll take to fully withdraw, because it seems my financial ruin will subside about the same time I won’t crave FF anymore. I stopped believing in coincidence a loooong time ago. And though I won’t go into the specifics of why I am suddenly broke, the reasons behind it are… odd… to say the least. A collective of very unlikely scenarios happening all at once.

And to boot, I asked Him to get me through this without the severe depression. I can deal with all the other withdrawal symptoms, just not the depression. And thus far, 3 days in (I made it to 2 days last time before the darkness was too much to bear), I’ve never been happier.

To be fair, with the disastrous situation surrounding my finances plus quitting FF at the same time, I reeeaallly should be very depressed right now. But I’m not, not at all. I’m content. I’m happy. Ironically, I actually feel free for once.

So, hang in there folks. And if you’re not a believer in what God can provide in your life, especially during the most difficult times, I would encourage you to give Him a chance. He may not always answer prayer in the way we’d like, but His answer is absolute and His ability to get us through tough times is unwavering.

It is a lot easier to stay clean than it is to get clean.

This means that while staying clean takes continued effort, it’s far easier to protect the recovery you’ve already built than to go through the painful process of getting clean all over again.

You can do this.🫶

Hello, everyone. My name is Charles Trepany, and I’m a reporter for USA TODAY. I’ve covered kratom addiction previously for our wellness section and am in the midst of writing another story about what people who’ve struggled with addiction to kratom think of how the government has been handling the issue.

Based on press conferences, it seems like agencies such as the DEA have been cracking down more on synthetic 7OH but not “natural leaf kratom” products – despite many people saying they became severely addicted to natural leaf kratom and never touched synthetic 7OH.

I’m interested in getting thoughts on this from people who’ve struggled with kratom addiction firsthand. If you’re available and willing to be interviewed over the phone, either tomorrow or Thursday at the latest, please either message me here on Reddit or email me at ctrepany@usatoday.com. Thank you!

My partner is actively taking Feel Free. 3+ per day. He has been in rehab for 7oh, and I didn’t realize he was buying Feel Free until last week. He ended up having convulsions and being incoherent after a withdrawal, resulting in hospital time. He is finding ways to buy them still. I’m leaving, I have tried everything I can think of to support but it’s financially drained us and he has no intentions of stopping or admitting addiction. What are the realities in his situation? Wondering as someone who cares but doesn’t understand how he doesn’t see this is killing him.

Why is every post on here I see is asking for help to pass a drug test/ for a job offer. Im just trying to see what’s the most efficient way to detox from weed just because, not because of a job offer or an upcoming drug test. Any tips ? And no it’s not for a drug test or a job offer

This is going to be long but I genuinely need outside perspectives because I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.
My boyfriend and I have a lot of history. We originally knew each other/“dated” in high school and then reconnected about 10 years later. When we got back together I genuinely thought he was the person I was going to spend my life with. I had never felt that strongly about anyone. I felt like he came back into my life for a reason and in the beginning I felt so loved, wanted, protected and hopeful about our future.
Over the past year though, things have gotten really complicated, especially with addiction.
We both ended up using 7-OH and I became extremely dependent on it. Getting off of it was absolute hell for me. Things got bad enough that I ended up in the hospital and then a psych ward. I finally got off of it and I haven’t taken 7-OH since July 29th. I’m still trying to recover mentally and get my life back.
The entire time, I believed my boyfriend was getting off of it with me.
Then this morning I found a pack of the tablets outside by accident. He admitted he has been taking them again.
That completely broke something in me because he KNOWS what that drug did to me. He watched me go through everything. He knew how important it was to me that we were getting away from this together and still let me believe he was off of it.
He claims he left the package somewhere I would find it because subconsciously he wanted me to know. I honestly don’t believe that. To me it feels like he was hiding it and accidentally left evidence behind. I had already suspected something was wrong because a few nights ago he woke me up wanting to have sex and couldn’t finish, which was unusual, and something in my gut immediately told me something was off.
Now I’m questioning everything.
There have already been other trust issues. I’ve found things on his phone before that really bothered me. I mostly chose to ignore them because I was tired of fighting and wanted our relationship to work. But I’m realizing that every time I “let something go,” it doesn’t actually disappear. I’m just pushing it down.
I’m scared I’m eventually going to ignore so many things that I become numb and stop caring completely.
There’s also been a pattern in our relationship where when I finally put myself first or tell him how badly something has hurt me, it turns into a huge fight. He tells me I’m negative, lazy, don’t do anything, stay in bed too much, need to change my outlook on life, etc.
The thing is… I KNOW I’m not doing well.
I’m depressed. I have almost no confidence anymore. I hate the way I look. I struggle to get out of bed sometimes. I don’t feel motivated or excited about my life the way I used to.
But instead of feeling like my partner recognizes those things as signs that I’m hurting and tries to understand me or lift me up, I feel judged for them. Then I feel even worse about myself, which makes me withdraw more, and the cycle continues.
I don’t expect another person to cure my depression or be responsible for my happiness. I know I have to work on myself. I just thought the person who loved me would have some compassion for the fact that I’m struggling instead of making me feel inferior because of it.
I also don’t feel pursued or special anymore. We barely go on dates. Money somehow always seems to be an issue when it comes to doing things together, and sometimes I’m made to feel like I ask for too much, but honestly I barely ask him for anything. Meanwhile he’s spending money on these tablets.
There are other things that have really affected me too. When I was in the psych ward, I had just filled a prescription of Adderall for my ADHD and he took the prescription, along with another medication I had. I know Adderall itself can obviously be abused and I’m not trying to pretend otherwise. What hurt was that he knew I legitimately struggle with ADHD and still took medication that belonged to me while I was hospitalized.
I feel like I’ve sacrificed SO much for him and supported him through so much. I constantly try to understand where he’s coming from, forgive him and see the good in him. But I don’t feel like he actually wants to understand me anymore.
And somewhere throughout all of this I feel like I lost my entire identity.
Before this relationship I took care of myself. I had my own life. I was independent. I had dreams and motivation and hope. When we first reconnected last year, I still felt like that girl.
Now I feel helpless and dependent and I barely recognize myself.
I’ve also become incredibly isolated. I barely have people in my life anymore and I feel like I’m starting to lose connections with my family too. I don’t know if he intentionally alienated me, and I don’t want to accuse him of something I can’t prove, but the reality is that I feel extremely alone now.
And lately I don’t even feel like I have HIM.
That’s probably the hardest part.
I love this person so fucking much, but I look at him now and sometimes genuinely think, “I don’t know who you are.”
If he could let me believe he wasn’t taking 7-OH while secretly taking it, I don’t know what else he could be lying about. I don’t want to become someone who checks his phone, searches through his things or investigates everything he says. That’s not how I want to live.
I just want to trust the person I’m with.
I also don’t want to resent him, but every time something else happens it gets added to everything else I’m already trying to heal from. Every lie, every horrible fight, every time I feel belittled, every time I forgive something and then something else happens… I feel myself getting a little worse.
I’m scared that eventually there will be so much hurt underneath the love that I won’t be able to come back from it.
I’ve now told him that I think he needs actual help and that I don’t think he should stay with me right now. I told him he should stay with his parents or somewhere else and get help because I CANNOT live around 7-OH.
I fought way too hard to get off of it. I can’t wake up wondering whether he’s high. I can’t find packages around the house. I can’t have easy access to something that nearly destroyed my life.
I understand addiction. Obviously I do. So I’m not expecting him to magically stop having cravings because he loves me. But I also don’t think I can be responsible for keeping him sober or destroy my own recovery trying to save him.
I still love him. That’s what makes this so fucking hard. A huge part of me still wants the future we talked about. I want my boyfriend back. I want to feel safe and close to him again.
But more than anything right now, I want ME back.
I want my confidence back. I want my independence back. I want my relationships with other people back. I want my voice back. I want to wake up and actually feel excited about being alive and having a future again.
I genuinely don’t know whether this relationship can heal while we’re together or whether loving him right now means stepping away and letting him deal with his addiction himself.
Am I doing the right thing by telling him he needs to stay somewhere else and get help? And for anyone who has been in a relationship affected by addiction and repeated broken trust, how do you know when supporting someone has crossed the line into losing yourself trying to save them?
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I both struggled with 7-OH. I went through a horrible withdrawal/hospitalization and have been off it since July 29th, believing he had stopped too. I just discovered he’s secretly been taking it again. There have also been other trust issues, medication issues, constant fighting and I feel increasingly depressed, isolated, insecure and unlike myself. I love him deeply, but I’ve told him I can’t live with him while he’s using and that he needs to stay elsewhere and get actual help. I’m trying to figure out whether there’s a healthy way forward or whether I’ve already lost too much of myself trying to keep this relationship together.

Finally managed to quit the feel frees and kratom extracts after a 2 year struggle of excessive use. Officially free of it all since May. But question for those who have been off the stuff longer, when do you start feeling happy again? It’s now august and I still always feel meh. I go back and forth between struggling with insomnia or excessive fatigue. My heartbeat rests higher. Get panic attacks often and can’t handle more than 75mg of caffeine. I feel depressed all the time and miss that calm high. Is there an end mark of all of this? About how many more months can I expect of all this?

I’m able to sleep now I feel almost 100% now. Life is way better. There was a few times withing the past 11 days I was about to cave on cravings. Glad I’m where I am now. I remember in just that 1 month how chaotic life felt and now I’m glad for stability back in my life. Things are good 🤙🏼. If you’re on the fence about quitting the withdrawal from these are very quick. Almost from day 1 symptoms start improving from day 1-2. It’s uncomfortable but it’s not a very drawn out withdrawal.

My last feel free was on Saturday, I feel like I'm finally starting to round the corner on this. I am tapering with powder and slowly reduced the number of ff I drank during the day til it was zero. Still going through withdrawals but when I feel bad enough I make some tea, that's already down to 1-2 times a day.

I quit off of OPMS black shots a few years ago and while I was completely addicted I finally made a choice to start tapering, then it was down to 1 a day, then I got home after work one day and stopped. Feel Free is oddly a completely different ballgame, and it's weird to say. I couldn't stop, couldn't taper, and while I was spending way less money it was still alot. The combination of kratom and kava has made stopping seem impossible, who knows what this combo is doing to certain brains. Mine included. I never felt as high on it, but I felt really good, clearly.

I started tapering on Feel Free on accident, I lost my wallet and went to the store, realized it was gone, when I got home I only had an old school bag of kratom powder from several years ago. I was in WD already so just took what I had until I could get some money. Missing the dose, and working through it got me here.

It's embarrassing to say, I felt like I had willpower before, even with something stronger like OPMS. There's something they aren't telling us about FF.

Has any one used gabapentin to help quit? if so how much and did it help?

Has anyone tapered themselves off of fentanyl and been successful? I know it is not recommended but has it been done? I do not crave to get high. I do not crave the drug. Im just trying to avoid full blown withdrawals. I’m making myself taper down and even though I’m still feeling withdrawals they are more manageable than when I tried cold turkey. I want to know if what I’m doing will work or has been done. I’ve gone from 7 grams a week to 3.5 and cutting that in half now. I’m just curious if they will be manageable once I have completely cut all amounts out. If anybody can help me that has been successful this route, please do so.

Well, I made it.

There were MANY stumbles along the way, rehab, AA, too much damage to take stock of. 30k wasted, trust eroded, hard lessons learned.

Fuck Feel Free, this product is devious and gets its hooks deep into your mind and soul. It convinces you that you need it, you can’t survive without it, all the number of lies you tell yourself and the people that care about you.

Getting off is hard, really fucking hard. Especially if you were on a 10 a day habit like I was. But those first few days teach you about what you can endure. We are resilient, we don’t need this shitty poison to exist. That feeling like you want to die, and every part of your body is raging against you to just give in- that’s the start of healing.

So for everyone struggling, stick with it. It’s not easy and it’s definitely not a straight line. But a year later my life is so wildly different from where I was. I have hope again, I can find joy in the mundane. It took me 5-6 months before I felt almost back to normal, but every day gets a little better. Life is beautiful and worth living without Feel Free.

[supprimé]

I need to quit, simply put. I'm spending too much money and my wife is asking me every other day if I have cut back (which is fine because I told her I would). What do you guys use for nausea? That's really the main thing that stops me from quitting every time is this horrible nausea. Any suggestions would be great. I really want to kick this horrible habit.