Hi you all. I am relatively new to recovery as a whole and I have been going to NA meetings in my area but honestly as a relatively young woman they feel sort of unsafe to me. I had creepy men find me on Facebook. But I already have the na book and the steps plus I think I like them more than aa so I’m wondering how I’d go about doing the steps online, if that’s a thing?
978 days sober today. I set my life on fire about 3 years ago due to my addiction. Had legal troubles of course (non violent drug felony; on a deferred sentence with 8 months left).
Everything has been going strong. My recovery is at the top of my priority list. I’m ready to move on with my life in sobriety and leave the on fire version of my life behind.
I got a job offer from the treatment facility I went to originally. I would have been doing admissions for them; we were so excited to start rebuilding and moving forward. But they rescinded the offer due to my background check.
I’m just feeling super discouraged and angry. This society we’re in wants to keep us in our place. I don’t want to use by any means but I do want to give up trying to stay positive.
Am going through a lot of depression and anxiety as of right now. Know I need to go out and talk to people. Especially those who have gone threw fellow hardship. Have gone to 3 emotional anonymous meetings, and one AA meeting. Yes, ea meetings exist. You think if I’m not going through drug abuse issues at this exact particular moment, even though I have in the past, they would be the ok with me attending a meeting tonight? I just need fellowship right now.
For some context, the longest I had been fully sober was around 3 months, a year ago. 3 months in 9 years of using regularly, and those 3 months I still thought about using almost everyday. I recently attended my first AA meeting and then an NA meeting last night. What I didn't expect was the joy and the humour.
Boyh meetings I've attended have given me the same feeling as drugs used to. I end the meetings feeling almost like I'm levitating, on some sort of vulnerability high, excited not only for the next day but with renewed hope for my future. I think for me, I love an excuse to connect and be vulnerable and connect with others. This previously led me to doing drugs, almost as an excuse.
I think that knowing that there's a room full of people who believe in me despite my past, and have my best interest at heart, who (although they would never say it) I would let down if I was to use again, has drastically reduced my desire to ever partake in substance use again.
If you are browsing this sub and considering trying NA, my advice is just try it. If you have a negative (or even neutral) experience with one group, check out another. Ik it doesn't work for everyone, but my only regret is that I didn't attend sooner. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest.
I think my next step is to work with a sponsor, and once further along in my sobriety I want to lead a meeting, be a sponsor, and extend the compassion and grace I have been gifted in these meeting halls to newcomers like myself.
Sending love to each and every one of you and I hope today is kind to you all.
Hi fellow addicts,
I’m a 20 year poly drug addict (heavy - opiates benzos etc etc high doses) and my next relapse will kill me, because I won’t just try one pill (those people don’t post here) , just had a 2 month detox including full blown phycosis etc and I know if I gob / relapse more pills again it will kill me or if it dosent due to my tolerance then I know i am not willing to go through this 2 month torture again (excruciating pain - loss of self - time - you name it)
Anyway my family can see me getting better - such as - actually talking, walking straight, not looking like a ghost and my clothes fit me.
The thing is they are incredibly old fashioned and think because I am starting to pop the odd smile here and there now and can talk I am ‘healed’. I said to my mum that’s not the way it works, I’m an addict till I die and I still have drug dreams and drug seeking behaviour.
The main issue behind my backstory (I’m still tapering benzos btw as we all know they take ages so I’m not even ‘clean’ ) and am done with being sick and tired etc is that my dad thinks I’m all good and ready to go to work soon, he’s old fashioned and never done drugs and dosent understand a full blown addiction is a disease.
He thinks I’m ready to go to work in a couple weeks when in reality I have extreme suicidal thoughts (well yeah brain is chemically messed up) and I know I will relapse, I don’t know what to do, I KNOW I will relapse with stress this early on and I’m 34 and been in active addiction for 20 years it’s all my mind and body know, I’m not ready to venture out, but he’s so old school he will just say man up, which I clearly have last 2 months in unbearable pain not relapsing.
I don’t know what to do, shall I just put myself out of misery? I have no support from him, he thinks me laughing at a film 2 months later his son is back.
I damn well ain’t, 20 years vs 2 months.
What is the pacific way in which my addiction has been manifesting itself most recently?
Any help would be appreciated
Hi All,
A member has recently asked if they could order a Hebrew translation of the Step Working Guide. Couldn't find anything online but also couldn't really find much in the way of translations in general. Thought I would find something on the WSC site but no joy. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
If it's not widely translated does anyone know why?
Thanks!
I have some convictions about the people around me and the company I'm forced to keep. For the next little bit I'll be telling you a story about how what once was a safe haven and a luxury has now become a scar on the non-linear timeline that is my existence.
Im 19 been sober 6 months as of now and im trying to find people my age that I feel comfortable and connected with . I been trying to go to a lot of young people meeting around the Broward FL area and honestly most people that I meet in these meetings are 25+ which its ok for me if you are in your 20s but it's very hard for me to connect with someone that's in their 30s and most people in these aa/na meetings are, I'm wondering if you guys have any suggestions of which meetings I can go to so that I can build my support team/circle up with people that I can actually relate to around my age, ik it's very hard for people to try and get this sobriety thing at such a young age but I've gone through a lot and got to the point where I knew I had to stop, and honestly I love this sober life it's not the most interesting or most outgoing life but I have peace inside which was my dream when I was out there in the streets.
Hi everyone, I'm in a situation and I'm not sure how to approach it. I've put myself back out there now that I have a reasonable amount of clean time out there. I'm not rushing into anything but I'm also ready to explore my options. I reluctantly decided to do a dating app again. I put in my profile that I don't do drugs or drink, and made mention of how I am in a transitional period involving various areas of self-improvement such as education and health. I did not explicitly state that I am in recovery. Furthermore, I currently live in sober housing and plan on doing it until I finish my degree.
So now I have a few matches, including someone who seems like they could be a great fit for me. I'm just wondering if I should info dump that I'm in recovery, that I live in sober housing, no car, busy with school, and work a "get well" job. There are two ways to go about it, as I see it. Break the ice, and then after a few messages back and forth I tell her all these potential deal-breakers, and let her know there are no hard feelings if I sound like I'm not for her, or I could just get to know her, and not mention the "bad" stuff until it becomes a necessity. I'm leaning towards the first choice, but any insight would be welcome. My sponsor and his friends are all too old for me to bring this up with, lol.
I’ve been in NA for about a week now, gone everyday but didn’t speak until today. I said the word sober instead of clean and had the clarity statement read after I spoke. I don’t really get it, can someone explain? It made me feel quite isolated from the group afterwards, like I did something wrong.
I came to NA because I was smoking weed pretty much all day everyday. I have been attending meetings for a little over 3 months and have not smoked since 5 days before my first meeting.
However, I have had a drink on a few occasions - either birthday celebrations or when out for dinner with my partner (we don’t go out often).
I recently got a sponsor and told him this, he thanked me for being honest about it and told me he wants me to share this in my next meeting - which I will be doing.
I do not have an addiction to alcohol, this is not to say that it could never happen because I do not know what the future holds but I feel reluctant to give up something I do not have a problem with
This has led me to really think about whether i should continue to attend meetings as I do not have a desire to stop using alcohol and the one requirement of the fellowship is the desire to stop using all drugs including alcohol.
I know only I can really answer that question but would appreciate some perspective.
The person that recommended NA to me is 18 years clean in AA and advised me to be careful when using alcohol but if it’s not a problem I should just continue with the narcotic abstinence.
It will be 4 years in November that I haven’t used my drug of choice. A big part of what got me sober was that I met a man, who actually became my fiancée. I guess he probably had a saviour complex, but I definitely needed saving.
He stood by me and I within a year I was no longer using. Weve been together 5 years, and it has not been without it’s challenges, but I really thought this was it. This February he had a psychotic episode that triggered an extreme BPD splitting episode. He went on a smear campaign against me; weaponized my history of addiction. told his conservative parents about it, they were awful to me. Two weeks prior they had been telling me how much they appreciated and loves me. he threatened to tell my mom if I didn’t tell her about my history of addiction. Threatened to call the cops on me and my landlord if I didn’t let him into my apartment ti get his stuff even though I had put his stuff in the stairwell and my roommates didnt want him inside. told me he would leave me if I didn’t stop hanging out with my best friend who ‘wronged him’. said he would try couples therapy and then changed his mind the next day. Did that twice. apologies followed By coldness.
I know that this isn’t really anyone’s fault but damn I am having a hard time not self destructing. feels like I am in withdrawal of him. I guess I am. I don’t know what I’m looking for here. reasons to not self destruct I guess.
i use to get high when I feel my anger come on and it would go away. now I’m just stuck with feelings and I hate it. I just kicked a hole in my freaking drywall and tried to chase a coyote to end it. what is wrong with me. do I keep staying clean or go back.
I've done most of them and I think I really enjoy GSR most - I would love to have a crack at RCM given the chance and with more cleantime under my belt - I will probably try volunteering in Vice in 12-18 months. Was curious what the experience of other members was with this?
My first service postitions was greeter, 3 months in and green. A great postition, I recommend to all!
Hi all! I'm a 2 year recovering addict. I'm secretary for an online meeting with a small fellowship in the north of England. Finding shares is getting harder so I wanted to ask if anyone would like to share their experience, strength and hope with my meeting please? We're really keen to get perspective and find the similarities and not the differences with members from all over the globe. All our shares are valuable and I would be more than happy to return the favour.
I do ask that anyone who can do this, please have a sponsor and be working the steps. I do not know if I can drop the meeting details in here so I won't but if you want to get in touch please do.
Thankyou and to the mods I did look at the rules and think this is ok, but accept if is not. (Accept the things we cannot change...)
I was an opiate addict for about five years — Percocet first, then heroin. I've been clean for over six years now, though for most of that time I was on methadone. About three years ago I started a slow, steady taper, and two months ago I hit 5mg.
I was so excited to be almost done that I told my girlfriend at the time — someone I'd known for 20 years but had only been dating a few months. She knew I'd been an addict in the past and that I was clean, but she didn't know about the methadone. When I told her I was on it (and nearly finished), she got very upset, broke up with me almost immediately, and never spoke to me again. I know there may have been other factors, but the reaction itself taught me how badly methadone is misunderstood — and honestly it's made me hesitant to tell anyone anything since.
About a month ago I dropped from 5mg to 2mg, took nine days of my 30-day take-homes, and decided I was done. That was 21 days ago. I felt low-energy and restless for about ten of those days, but I feel amazing now. I'm headed out to turn in my last bottles and be completely done with methadone.
My life is on track. I've got a career I'm doing well in and hobbies I'm genuinely proud of. It feels a little dumb to brag about something like this on Reddit, but I just wanted someone to know.
Thanks for reading.
clean and serene for 4 years, aware that the most important day is today.
i decided to put a few professional projects on hold and write. i did my best to make it a space that feels deeply my own, without needing to declare it as such, while also making whoever visits feel as at home there as i do.
p.s.: the book’s content is not about recovery or addiction, but i classify it as sociopolitical speculative fiction. eventually, such questions will be there.
i do have an official translator, but i haven’t shared it with anyone outside brazil yet, so i’m open to opinions regarding the text and the understanding of what i’m putting into it. i understand that metaphors and wordplay don’t always have the same effect in different languages.
anyway, this is what has been making me stronger. i hope it is received with open arms.
my husband has been drinking a lot lately and i’ve been trying to help him with it and it’s gotten somewhat better but last night after work he went by our ex drug dealers house. well be 5 years sober june 28 and when i saw that he was there it’s like dread just came over me. i immediately start calling and texting he doesn’t reply. so eventually enough time passes im able to get my ass up and go over there and there he is in all his glory just talking to her and her bf. i parked down the street and called 911. then i drove by and he saw me that’s when he left. his excuse is “god told him to go” and he got to help the dude with his addiction and help get clean. i’m not stupid. he was either buying or scoping. not sure how to handle this he’s mad i’m mad and he’s mad i told my mom but like wtf do u want me to do? sit in silence ?
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Hi, so I'm 22 years old. I have a sponser whom I deeply respect, but he is trying to get me to take radical responsibility for my life and to fight against my instincts. Every time I try to do this (what he calls "doing the opposite"), things start out well, but after a certain period of time I sink back into depression. He claims that eventually these defects will be removed from me and that I will regain control over my life. But do I really want a life in which I constantly have to fight?
I really don’t like the way he tries to change me. I really like Eastern philosophy, and it feels like he gets me more dissociated from God. I want to try to rent a house, which is an extreme act of trust in God since I am afraid of it. But now he wants me to fill out a table with my planned schedule to have for when I move into a new house of my own. What’s spiritual about that?!