Hi yall,
I was just dumped by my long term boyfriend 🙃 We’ve been together 2.5 years and met in the rooms. So… how the hell do I even handle meetings now? He goes to the ones I do. I feel like I’ll just be sobbing and distracted every meeting if we’re at the same ones. Genuinely, what do?
So I'm heading for rehab in the next 2 weeks. It involves the 12 step program. I don't believe in any man made religion, and I don't want to just pretend I do to go along with it. I really want this so I want to be honest about everything. Will they respect my beliefs? Because I know that one of the main steps is to give yourself up to god
Hi all,
I've been recently appointed as Secretary for my home group. I have 2 years clean and have done it before at other groups but we are a particularly rowdy bunch and our G.C's often go for 2+ hrs. Ive done some digging online but I'm struggling to find any real official guide for running a G.C. Id really like to avoid pointless arguing without having something to actually vote on. I'd also like to have something that i can site as the reason why I'm changing the G.C format. Lmk Thanks guys!
Hi, im now clean since end of February After a Long time and I think I would like to go to these Meeting I never really went to a real group Like this and so I wanted to ask here for advice I’m from Germany (Nest mainz) and idk if there are real Meetings and if I can just go there or what I should know. I checked the Website and Heard from the the Reha I was from this group so I can stay clean and all and I want this. It’s. Just not easy for me now to get help. I dont know what else to do im 22 and most of i don’t really have somebody to get advice and I dont want to be with my old friends who are Consuming still and do other bad stuff I REALLY DONT want to do again but I don’t know what to do alone.
Sorry english is Not the best 🙏😔
If a person is raped while intoxicated are they a victim or a volunteer? I am on this part of my 4th step and really struggling. I tried to call my sponsor, she didnt answer, I am posting here and going to try to call other people in my support system. I am worried about using over this. I don't want to be clean or work the NA steps if I have to blame myself for being raped.
Hello fellows!
I’m new to being a sponsor and would love to hear what kinds of “rules” or boundaries you have for your sponsees. Do you use the same ones your sponsor had or create your own? And will you share yours? Thanks in advance!
I am 35yr old male, (recovering meth addict)
I’ve been using 6 years now and the first 5 my wife (non-addict) has put up with it and all the BS that comes with it. Wife and I are married 13 years, 3kids together….
This year she put her foot down on it and said no more. I’ve had 5 relapse since, all isolated incidents, (non-binging) but I fear one more she will leave me forever wtf do I do I fight all the urges but somehow end up using again plz help me
Just for today, I will remember that resentment, ego, and neglect all come from the same wound: the fear that I am unsafe, unseen, or unworthy of care.
I will not ignore my needs in order to survive another day on autopilot. I will feed my body, calm my mind, and allow myself moments of rest and honesty. Recovery is not only about removing destruction; it is also about learning how to receive care without guilt.
I will examine the attitudes that once protected me but now isolate me. Pride, anger, arrogance, cynicism, and emotional distance may have helped me endure difficult seasons, but I do not need to live inside them forever. I can be willing to let them go, even if only a little at a time.
I will remember that forgiveness is not pretending harm never happened. It is removing the blockage that keeps life from flowing forward. When resentment hardens, it traps me in the past. When I loosen my grip on it, I make room for peace, humility, and connection again.
Today I do not need to become perfect.
I only need to stay willing, honest, and open to growth.
This is going to sound strange, but on days when I'm not working or have no other obligations, I hit a 12 Step meeting (usually N.A. - but also CO;
DA).
So my life consists of work / home / meeting; really have no social life because nothing really fills me the way a meeting does and keeps me clean "just that day". It also gets my ass out of the house so I don't feel like a loser being home all day (which is irrational and why I'm also in CODA).
Anyone else go to a lot of meetings to simply fill an hour of unstructured time like this 5 or even 6 days in the week - sometimes even 2 meetings on a really dead day?
To be honest, there are times I feel like an "other" from society because these meetings are the only social life I have - and even then there are times I just sit there and listen and don't talk to anyone so then I guess it's not much of a "social" life, lol..
God bless and grateful I can connect with others out there who might likewise feel like they don't fit in anywhere.
Copying and pasting my post in r/opiates which someone recommended me this sub.
"I have dabbled with opiates since i was 18 among most things (hard pill use, psych ward extent type shit), was a lost boy and still am to some degree, although i have slightly found my way and am back in education, studying science at uni. Still struggle a lot with substances, more so just staying off them but i guess the pattern i see for myself is that using substances is a path in of itself for me (self destructive). This is why i stay the "sober path" although using is always on my mind, It's never a particular substance, mainly anything that makes me feel in an altered state. I am not a heavy user, although recently, H really quiets everything down. I don't wish to live like this nor be an addict. Forgive me if this is the wrong space to vent. I have a lack of guidance other than family. Please help me understand how much harm I'm really doing for myself."
I have always had a hard time putting my feelings into words. Like it says in It Works (translated from Swedish) “Rather than panic about what we feel, we can more precisely say how we feel. This helps us get away from the limited “good” or “bad” without everything in between”.
Step 4 has so far really helped me understand feelings more. I can identify the difference between guilt and shame. I have recognised that I actually have a lot of suppressed anger inside me (something I used to just put under the umbrella term “upset”).
But it has been really, really difficult. I so often want to just write “good” or “bad” because that’s mostly how I’ve idenitified feelings.
As a child I had Alexitymia. My abusive dad made me feel “bad”, not afraid or unloved or neglected. Going to my best friend’s house felt “good”, not exciting or fun. I got help with it from a doctor, and learned to identify more feelings. They also said it was normal for children with autism, that I need to keep practicing naming my feelings but that I’ll likely grow out of it. But I don’t think I fully grew out of it. I often find myself crying, my partner will hold me and asks whats wrong. I can’t tell him. I just know I feel bad. So I either say just that, or go silent.
I can identify a few more feelings now; “good, bad, upset, excited, sad, frustrated”. But realising i’ve felt hurt, I’ve felt angry, I’ve felt abandoned is so confusing.
Idk, started using at 17 to make the “bad” and “upset” feelings go away. Now the “bad” feelings are back.
That’s been my experience as someone with autism. I’m just sitting here staring at “how do I identify my individual feelings?” because I truly don’t know. The list is going to be so difficult too, because I don’t know what feeling something triggered. I’ve written down a situation and all I can think of is “upset”.
So, fellow autistic people, what has your experiences been like?
Hello everyone! I am a 22 year old girl and was addicted to weed for about 5 years and then tried snow, after i tried that nothing could compare and now i am fresh out of a 5 year relashionship with a person i used to do those substances with, i am heartbroken from the ending of my relashionship, and at the same time in withdrawals from the substances i used to love. I am mainly struggling on finding what i like to do on the daily without using substances, i have went to therapy a bunch of times but it hasn't helped that much for me. I guess i would just aprecciate some advice on how you fell in love with life again after you stopped using and also a question for everyone, is it possible at some point in the future to not want those substances at all?
28m I've been drinking for about 10 years and I was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to stay sober I've tried AA but I don't believe in a higher power so that program doesn't work for me
how do i deal with creeps in the rooms as a woman? i find it hard to say no or defend myself. i’m nervous about going to a meeting tonight because there’s gonna be a guy who makes me super uncomfortable. he’s been hitting on me and asking me out even though i said no. then he hits me with the “it’s just casual” as if i’m stupid. the other day he gave me a hug after the meeting and literally picked me up. it was so cringe and uncomfortable. he always pulls me to the side after meetings to give me “pep talks” and always clocks that i’m high at meetings, which whatever, i am but don’t make me fucking uncomfortable by pointing it out and saying “you’re the last one to find out”. like i’m well aware i’m not clean 😭 anyway, i don’t know how to deal with this. please help! i just want to be like “leave me the fuck alone already!”
I’ve come to Reddit because I feel like I’ve got nowhere else to go. I’m a 21F and have been struggling with a coke addiction for almost a year now. It started just on weekends and at work events with certain colleagues. It was never a problem. Start of this year I got into an abusive/controlling relationship (now out of it) and cocaine is the only thing that makes me feel ok. It’s the only thing I think about. I had a breakdown after I ran out one night and couldn’t get more which made me hurt myself so bad I had to go hospital. I was only sober because I was under supervision by friends and family. Since then I will do it at home on my own. My friends all think I’m clean but on nights out I’m secretly doing it in the toilet. I hate lying to them but I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t stop and part of me feels so ashamed. I don’t know what to do. I really feel like I can’t go without it. I’m spending around £600 a month on it. I guess my question is how do I get clean?
i’m taking elvanse as prescribed by my doctor, and i was thinking is it against the meeting rules? my meds help me stay sober as i can’t do anything without them (super severe adhd)
hi, my names rj, from & living in ireland, and i turned 18 in November. since i was 13, i've struggled with addictions and always somehow have some sort of one, but when i was 14 it turned to drugs and eventually, harder ones.
i got clean about 2/3 from the drug that had such a grip on me for well over two years, but ive been struggling with staying away from it so much. unfortunately, i haven't gotten clean from everything but i am trying and i want to keep trying, i dont want to rely on substances for the rest of my life but im afraid im only so strong and i dont have the most reliable/stable supports around me.
im not asking for pity or anything and i hope it doesnt come across that way, i just wanna know, if i showed up at a meeting am i gonna be turned away? make people uncomfortable? im not really sure how any of it works and im afraid to ask those who i know have gone before. thanks
edit: thank you all for your amazing support and reassurance, im gonna start looking for meetings this week thanks to you all🙂
i am a thinker for sure, and last night at a meeting i had a growth moment, and i hope anyone resonates too :)
prior to going to na meetings, I was very spiritual and not too into religion, or god. I still am very spiritual—god as we know him.
but my sponsor taught me that we all have our own relationship with god, and last night at a late night meeting I thought, hmm ever since I got on medication for my mood disorder I can’t feel god anymore. maybe he abandoned me.
and then I realized that my entire life I thought of god as someone who was for everyone, unable to constantly be here by my side 247, like a classroom with a 28:1 student teacher ratio, rather than god being my own personal god, someone who is my own, and cares about me and vice versa.
when I realized that god, my god has always been here with me, and will always be for me, it’s like I felt his/it’s presence and that’s when I started seeing the magic and the blessings come in again. it all felt right.
I’ve been stuck in a cycle of chronic relapsing every few days or week or two for the past 4 months but couldn’t get my shit together. I was previously 17 months clean and got a case of the fuckits that turned into 7 months of absolute hell. I started in an IOP yesterday so that I can be held accountable to get through this early part that I keep tripping up on. I left there tonight and immediately started having bad thoughts creep into my head so I called a friend in recovery and came over to spend the night at her place so I’m not home alone with my thoughts. This feels like the biggest best thing I’ve done for my recovery since last fall before my initial relapse. So I just wanted to share with people who would understand. <3
I’m only 1 day clean right now but I could’ve easily not made it to the 24 hour mark and I actually chose to do the right thing for once. This shit sucks. I’m ready to get back to the “good part” like when I felt okay when I had over a year before.
Recently relapsed after 3 months sober. I'm considering leaving my current friendship group of 20+ years behind.. I love them all to death, but they all still use frequently and I don't feel they truly understand getting clean.
Would like to understand from others if leaving your friends behind was a must? Or whether you where able to maintain relationships with them?
Thanks in advance!