u/Ok-Property6209

I feel very grateful to have received two job offers and now I’m trying to decide which one I would be better suited to/what would help me in the long run of getting onto the dclin.

First role is a community outreach worker in an eating disorder service so I’d have a caseload that I monitor and support. It is a client faced role and in the NHS, which I’ve been trying to get into for some time.

My previous role was in a pupil referral unit for two years. I did an MSc in developmental psychology and psychopathology before that.

The second offer is for an assistant educational psychologist role, the pay is a bit better but that’s not my priority. It is not client facing as the role is part of a project to improve SEN and SEMH support in mainstream schools so that children can stay in mainstream and thrive rather than pushed towards alternative provisions more and more. So it is a training/consulting role and is interesting to me as having worked in an alternative provision, I know what children need and how the system is lacking in providing them before they end up there.

But I’d prefer a client facing role and my aim is not educational psych but clinical.

I can see the positives in each role and honestly have no idea which one to choose, both of the teams seemed lovely and people I’d want to work with so I’m at a loss. I don’t want to waste their time so I feel like I should make a decision quickly and would appreciate any guidance.

I like dating when it is fun and I’m feeling enthusiastic to meet new people and experience that authenticity back but there’s so many other sides to dating that I just don’t know how long I can keep positive and want to continue trying.

I am bisexual but have never been on a date with a woman, and not for lack of trying. I don’t have many single queer friends and have never had a queer circle so I’ve only tried through dating apps and it hasn’t worked.

I’ve dated a lot of men through dating apps and it’s just not been great. A guy will fake being nice for 1-3 dates then either ghost me when he realises I’m not going to sleep with him just because he’s been decent for 1-3 dates, or will go into convincing mode, explicitly/implicitly it varies, but the pressure is always there.

I know not every man out there is like that and it’s probably more common on dating apps, despite me only choosing to match with people who’s dating goals match mine (LTR), it’s hard not to be apprehensive especially when you’re a woman who’s faced sexualisation and horrible unwanted experiences at a young age. I’m very cautious about protecting myself and as I keep coming across men that only want sex it becomes harder each time to trust that a guy is trying to genuinely date the same way you are.

I don’t know how to wipe the slate clean when meeting someone new and at this point I’m struggling to find reasons to convince myself to do it anyway. I know I’m being pessimistic but is it pessimistic if it is based on the reality of your past and present?

Some don’t hide their intentions well and it ends quickly but I’ve had guys organise and pay for dates, bringing me flowers, driving me home (all on their own accord to the point I once had to sneakily buy us a round of drinks because they wouldn’t let me pay) just to ghost when I said I wanted to wait a bit longer for sex.

As each day passes I’m starting to consider staying single as I’d rather be alone than be with someone who does not respect me. And I fear a lot of men don’t respect women as humans, whether they are aware of it or not and it feels heartbreaking to come to that realisation.

I’ve only dated one guy who did not pressure me or fake being nice to get what he wanted and unfortunately our sensory needs and differences clashed too much :( it feels impossible and I don’t know how other people do it

For context, I got a high 2:1 in BSc Psych 2022, then went on to do a Developmental Psych and Psychopathology MSc and achieved a Distinction in 2023.

I did a shadowing placement in a perinatal MH service for a month during my MSc, I volunteered for Nightline (peer listening service) during my undergrad. I also worked for a month at a Women’s empowerment charity, assisting the counselling sessions and collecting feedback, during my BSc.

Early 2024 I started as a child support worker in a PRU. And applied for AP jobs throughout the role. I got a few interviews but never the offer.

I got injured at the PRU last summer, then again in December 2025. And I really desperately wanted to leave the role to give myself time to physically heal. I got offered a job as a clinical support worker in a PICU in February which was then rescinded (Early June) due to my physical injury and not being able to take part in the physical training. I had left my role in the PRU mid April when I thought that the PICU job was a done deal.

I now feel stuck. I’m still not getting anywhere with AP roles and interviews. The more lower band roles usually require some sort of physical responsibility, which I don’t want to take on anymore so I can properly heal. I signed up to an agency to do more work in schools and they got me a role in an SEN school, which doesn’t include restraint but there are a lot of physical responsibilities like toileting and guiding children physically in transitions between activities that is aggravating my shoulder. So I am thinking of leaving that placement.

In the last week, I got two interviews for support worker roles in MH services. In both my screening calls, I asked whether there would be physical interventions and they said yes, so I politely declined the interviews due to my recovering shoulder injury.

I’m stuck on what to apply for, that my background and education is appropriate for without further putting myself at physical risk. Any advice would be appreciated!

So for context I’ve been a light smoker/vaper for about 5 years.

I’ve tried quitting before, last year I quit cold turkey for two months then had a very stressful day at work, had “just one” cig and soon got right back into it.

Same earlier on this year, cold turkey for 2.5 months, after a rough day at work, got offered a cig and I went right back to it again.
I’ve since quit that job and I want to kick the habit too before I start my next one. I’m not sure if cold turkey works for me because once I relapse, I give up completely or slowly get back into the habit by giving myself “one off” allowances that keep increasing until I start vaping again.

I’m day 2 vape/cig free and I’ve bought a pack of nicotine gum. I’ve managed to go two days without needing it but really craved it today so I’ve popped a piece in my mouth. I know ideally cold turkey is best but could I try cold turkey and use the gum when the cravings are really bad and try to reduce how much I use them? So not relying on it as a replacement but only for really bad cravings, so I don’t get dependent on that either. Or will it just make it harder to quit nicotine in the long run by knowing I can still use it when I’m desperate?

I was offered a CSW role mid February.
Completed my checks in March and references were completed mid April.

Since then, I have not heard anything. My emails through trac are not being responded to anymore. The recruitment number I was given when I received my unconditional offer is disconnected and when I called the hospital switchboard they told me that they don’t have a recruitment number anymore and to send an email instead. I did that today.

I left my previous job 3 weeks ago due to a few factors and I want to know when I will be starting my new job, or at least get a rough idea of when I will get my start date. As, I can do agency work for a short while if it is going to take some time but I don’t want to go through that process if I will be starting soon. And I will have to also move closer to the trust, so planning that is another thing I have to factor in.

Is it acceptable or when would it be acceptable to email/call the ward manager who offered me the role, if recruitment are not getting back to me?