u/Ok-Search6481

I am so desperate to stop him from targeting me and projecting all his malice onto me. We were together for 20 years, and I endured psychological, emotional and financial abuse. He was sadistic and genuinely enjoyed seeing me hurt. He cheated on me and hid money and assets something I only began to realize after I left him. The divorce process has been an absolute nightmare; he has the wealth and influence to destroy me. Even though I have a good lawyer, the sheer amount of resources he has to make my life a living hell pushed me to cast a freezer spell today.

I took an old handwritten letter he had faxed to a customer support line (showing how arrogant he is), folded it, and wrapped it in a piece of paper where I had written his name and birthday. I wrote a petition stating that all his evil energy should be redirected back to him and that all the tactics he uses to target people are now frozen so he can no longer harm anyone. I added chili flakes, cayenne and black pepper. Some of the chili actually had mold on it. Then I wrapped everything in aluminum foil, placed it in a bag filled with water and put it straight into the freezer.

I just want him out of my life so his toxic energy can no longer reach me. Unfortunately, because of our ongoing legal battles over financial assets, I can't just cut ties and leave yet. So I hope this gives me a break

Today my 11 months old pup was playing at the park with other dogs, mostly bigger ones, when he suddenly started vomiting and then collapsed. His gums and tongue were literally white. He was conscious so we tried to give him water which he refused then I thought he was hypoglycemic so we tried to give him ice cream as a first help measure and rushed him to the vet who diagnosed a heat stroke, gave him an injection and send him home to rest. It was only like 20 degrees today but very humid.
After some hours he was the same as usual not even sleeping through the night.

It was so scary and I’ve found out about some exercise induced collapse in other dogs.
I wonder if this is a thing in smaller breads too.

Please share your knowledge and what can I do to prevent a situation like

Edit: link to the video I was making seconds before he started to feel bad
https://www.reddit.com/r/Maltipoo/s/T74FLVTYDp

How couldn’t I see it? This man was my love, my life. He was a terrible husband and a neglectful father, yet I managed to stay for 20 years.

Almost two years after discovering the lies and two years after our separation, I’ve realised that the person I trusted the most was actually my worst enemy, and I didn’t notice it. But how was this possible? What happened during all those years, in a hidden way, that made me the person I am today?

During these two decades there was a lot of emotional and verbal abuse. There was psychological and financial abuse as well, but I didn’t consciously recognise it until the separation because of the way he did it. I’ll come back to that later.
So I held on to this marriage and this family for too long, until one day, by coincidence, I discovered that this man had been cheating for more than ten years with different women. One name he mentioned accidentally led me to discover an entire parallel life he was living. It wasn’t just that he was caught cheating; it was that he was living a totally different life while keeping me trapped in an illusion. I still don’t fully understand for what purpose. After the separation he immediately moved in with one of these single mothers (that was the “profile” he was targeting). He could have chosen that life much earlier. He didn’t need to keep up the façade, but he chose to.

So, to my question: How did he manage to deceive me and everyone else? How couldn’t I see it?

I always rationalised his behaviour and cruelty somehow… because he was a hard‑working man: 7 days a week, very long hours, no parties, only gym and hiking alone for days in the wilderness. He sent me and our family pictures of his workplace, laptops, several devices, documents, and a cup of coffee. That was the main theme of those pictures for about 10 years. And after working hard, what does a man to relax from that exhausting day? Well, he goes hiking and takes pictures of the beautiful landscape and of himself, then sends them to his wife and family and posts them on social media for the whole world to see. Rinse and repeat.

To everyone, he was a weird, not very socially attuned person, but a hard‑working, sporty guy. He also portrayed himself as environmentally aware. He collected garbage he found on his trails because he wanted to “free the wilderness from the pollution” others left behind. Of course, there was a social‑media post about that too.

Meanwhile, I sensed something wasn’t adding up. This man came home grumpy, raging, and polluting everything with filth and garbage. Ashes and cigarettes on the floor, packaging, clothes everywhere, compulsive buying over two decades that led to an incomprehensible amount of stuff that I eventually couldn’t keep organised, so I started putting everything in his garage. I will spare you the details of the condition he left the bathroom for me to clean.

Now, with time and distance, the worst part is how he deliberately used pictures to fool everyone. This perfect online persona knew exactly what he was doing. He was manipulating perception and reality by sending the same themes again and again.

At the same time, he was moving assets and making transactions behind my back, knowing that the divorce would come once our children were adults. His absence, coldness, and neglect finally make sense now.

And if you’re wondering where he is now:
He couldn’t be more careless. He is financing a woman half his age and her children, letting them enjoy the things we built together over 20 years, and posting his “reborn” life on social media.

And where am I now? Fighting an exhausting battle in court with someone who had years to prepare for it, and in trauma therapy, because this person messed with my entire reality in a deliberate way simply because he could.