u/Ok-Student5569

Hi, I have something I'm ashamed to admit.

I'm a FOB Asian man. I have many fellow Asian FOB female friends, and a surprisingly high percentage of them are married to white American men. Even so, their English is still really poor, and they can't assimilate into American social circles, so they usually end up forming Chinese-speaking cliques of their own.

I'm judging here, so I apologize in advance. But they also tend to marry down. Many of these women have PhDs or master's degrees from elite universities, yet they marry working-class white men. This isn't just one or two cases, I've seen it happen repeatedly.

How has this affected me? I'm considered attractive in the traditional sense, and women tend to enjoy talking to me in different social settings: work, sports (co-ed), outdoor activities, etc. I also get plenty of matches with white women on Hinge. I only dated white women in the past few years.

But I've developed a habit that I'm not proud of. Seeing so many of my FOB Asian female friends exclusively date and marry white men, often, in my opinion, marrying down, has made me feel disgusted. As a result, I now avoid dating women of my own race.

I feel ashamed. I think I have internalized racism toward my own race. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I know I'm wrong for think this way, I'll make an effort to correct it.

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Edit:

sports - I play regularly in local co-ed leagues

FOB - sorry, I learned this from a post a few days ago... I guess it's no good. Here's an article on NIH: “FOBism Unveiled: Quantifying Assimilative Racism within Asians in the United States”

Specific to FOB Chinese: there is a strong incentive to secure permanent resident status via marriage due to the years long backlog.

What can I do? She started harassing me again, I want this to stop. But I know she will not even get arrested because I have no evidence saved. I doubt there will be a restraining order.

I went through my entire album, and I have nothing.

As I was typing this down I felt pressure on my throat, maybe I’m the problem.

https://preview.redd.it/e2nsy1v68c1h1.png?width=2316&format=png&auto=webp&s=fc65f1b5d4df75418d9ad7c581ed95d148e1e6d4

I will be creating jobs for the US, so please be kind. I know there is a lot of H1B hate out there, for good reason ❤️

Hypothetical context:

1. I have a full time job on H1B. I want to keep it. There is no conflict of interest.
2. Startup: I built a business solution (software +hardware) in a niche industry, and secured interests from hardware manufacturers, and they want to proceed with a contract.

>The problem is I have not incorporated my startup yet, and I need a H1B concurrent filing for said startup. I can only legally work for the full-time employer at ths moment (The H1B sponsor).

Does anyone know a clear path forward? I know the rules have changed and I can start companies and sponsor myself with a H1B now.

I'll be talking to an immigration attorney regardless, but wanted to hear from anyone who's been in a similar spot before that conversation.

I will be creating jobs for the US, so please be kind. I know there is a lot of H1B hate out there, for good reason ❤️

Hypothetical context:

1. I have a full time job on H1B. I want to keep it. There is no conflict of interest.
2. Startup: I built a business solution (software +hardware) in a niche industry, and secured interests from hardware manufacturers, and they want to proceed with a contract.

>The problem is I have not incorporated my startup yet, and I need a H1B concurrent filing for said startup. I can only legally work for the full-time employer at ths moment (The H1B sponsor).

Does anyone know a clear path forward? I know the rules have changed and I can start companies and sponsor myself with a H1B now.

I'll be talking to an immigration attorney regardless, but wanted to hear from anyone who's been in a similar spot before that conversation.

Context: I have a full time job on H1B. I want to keep it. There is no conflict of interest.

Startup: I built a business solution (software +hardware) in a niche industry, and secured interests from hardware manufacturers, and they want to proceed with a contract.

The problem is I have not incorporated my startup yet, and I do not have a H1B concurrent filing for said startup.

Does anyone know a clear path forward? I know the rules have changed and we can start companies and sponsor ourselves now. Yes, I will have to talk to an immigration attorney eventually, but just wanted to see if anyone is on the same boat.

6 person group backpacking trip, we’ve all booked flights. Main permit holder can’t join due to family emergencies.

Permit type: wilderness. We planned a 4 day 3 night itinerary.

Checked that we can’t add alternative permit holder. Should we all cancel our flights?

She asked for gas then just drove off. She didn’t even get out of the car. Fuck me, what the hell? What’s going on these days?

Edit: I didn’t expect this to be a controversial post, honestly I was just frustrated by the rudeness.

Hi I’ll be traveling with my cat for a few weeks, and planned a 4day 3 night backpacking trip in many glaciers.

Any ideas how to take care of my cat while I’m hiking? Didn’t see anything available on Rover.com

Built an embedded hardware + cloud pipeline on my own time. Nobody asked me to, I just knew we were overpaying vendors. STM32, some cloud glue. It's now deployed and saved ~$90K in a month.

Now they want to "guard the code." Cool, but I want a promotion and IP clarity first. I have a recording of my lead confirming I built this independently, not sure how far that gets me legally. But they gave me a 3.5% rasie LOL. I can easily get a higher offer ~30% raise (recruiter called) and do basic work without sharing my IP.

Main fear: they extract everything, document it, then low-ball or phase me out. Plus I know my current employer has neither the grit nor the innovative minds in leadership to get to where I am.

Thinking about either walking and commercializing it myself, demanding a formal IP agreement before touching anything else, or lawyering up first. Not sure which. To be honest, starting a company on my own has been my dream, and I know this thing has a place inthe market.

Edit:

- The entire system was tested on my own chips, PCBs, oscilloscope/tools, AWS EC2 and database serverless trials/subscriptions for prototyping. The deployment at my employer's was after minimal API modification to my personal project.

- I’d consider 10% of my personal work has been revealed to the employer, without the rest of 90%, they would find it extremely hard to scale, and deploy this solution in other industrial settings.

Built an embedded hardware + cloud pipeline on my own time. Nobody asked me to, I just knew we were overpaying vendors. MCU, some cloud glue. It's now deployed and saved ~$90K in a month. Now they want to "guard the code." Cool, but I want a promotion and IP clarity first. I have a recording of my lead confirming I built this independently, not sure how far that gets me legally. But they gave me a 3.5% rasie LOL. I can easily get a higher offer ~30% raise (recruiter called) and do basic work without sharing my IP.

Main fear: they extract everything, document it, then low-ball or phase me out. Plus I know my current employer has neither the grit nor the innovative minds in leadership to get to where I am.

Thinking about either walking and commercializing it myself, demanding a formal IP agreement before touching anything else, or lawyering up first. Not sure which. To be honest, starting a company on my own has been my dream, and I know this thing has a place inthe market.

Edit:

- The entire system was tested on my own parts, tools, cloud and database serverless trials/subscriptions for prototyping. The deployment at my employer's was after minimal API modification to my personal project.

- I consider 10% of my personal work has been revealed to the employer, without the 90%, they would find it extremely hard to scale, and deploy this solution in other industrial settings.