Fallen into a parent/child dynamic in my relationship and struggling to get out
I have ADHD I’ve just realized how much it is affecting my relationship but I’m so overwhelmed with all the information and steps to take and seeing where I need to work on things while keeping up with everything else and being in this parent/ child dynamic with my partner.
I generally keep up with house tasks because I managed to learn to cope with these things in the past.m, but emotionally It’s like I’m swimming against the current all the time. Every moment feels like I’m overthinking trying to be present and not people please but somehow still be truthful and not be afraid. It’s hard cause I’ve emotionally abandoned them so many times not being in the moment or understanding what they need. It has gone on so long my emotions are on 100 the moment I look at my partner.
I’ve been meditating and practicing grounding but there’s so much resentment from both of us (mostly from them and understandably so) that I feel I have to execute the change in behavior now. My hypervigilence is through the roof and when an overwhelming situation comes or they try to tell me how they are feeling I still somehow abandon them. Now they’ve gone full parent mode with constant suggestions of how I should do things or say things and I know they’re trying to help but it’s only overwhelming me more and making it harder to break the child mode I’m in.
We are going to go to therapy but I know it’s still my responsibility to treat my adhd I just don’t know where to start when it feels like every second of every day is a test I don’t understand until someone explains it in the moment. I have individual therapy but it just doesn’t feel structured enough.
Any advice anyone?