Looks like my roommate cleaned out his cats litter box, left the litter bag by the door. She's pissed and shit on top of the bag, and shit in a few different places around the apartment, including one pile in the background on the bath mat. One month left of this lease.
Got my confetti June 1st. For those that are struggling through life right now and trying to finish, you've got this. (Removed my name for Reddit privacy)
Things were okay at the beginning. Later on, things slowly started getting difficult. It started with begging and making me feel guilty for not wanting to have sex. Serious guilt trips. "I guess I'm not attractive" or "I must be a piece of shit".
Then, it progressed to him pressuring me into acts I was not comfortable with, that were physically painful for me, including acts where I told him I had an injury and it would only make things worse. There would be times I would tell him to stop, or physically push him away and he would tell me to push through it for him and he would keep going. After a while, It became routine get stoned to get through the sex.
It became a nightly routine for him to interrupt my school work or relaxation to bring his "needs" or "problem" to my attention right there in the living room, and ask me what I wanted him to do about it, what he should watch while doing so, and where it would go.
He began to interrupt my showers or insist I shower with him for his gratification where I would need to stay in the shower until he was satisfied, often getting overheated and dizzy. Would start placing objects in the shower before I would get in, that he wanted me to use on him. My showers weren't allowed to be just showers anymore.
I struggled with accepting that this was assault and abuse. To find myself again, I made a lot of mistakes. I started by opening up our marriage, because I wanted to remember what it felt like to desire sex. I fell in love with someone that wasn't available. After that, I finally left and filed for divorce.
Does anyone else find it stressful to the point you aren't able to take care of tasks at home when living with a roommate that doesn't share the same standards or respect your work around the house?
A big stressor for me right now in terms of general living at home.
Roommate repeatedly leaves dishes undone for sometimes weeks, dirty dishes all over the place, and trash sitting on the counters feet from the trashcan. I used to do his dishes for him because then it would mean I was able to move on to the rest of my cleaning routine, until it became an issue between us for other reasons.
For me, dishes need to be done before I am able to start the rest of my cleaning in my kitchen and main living area. When this doesn't happen, being home stresses me out, because it's messy and I feel like I am not able to do anything about it. I can't just clean the other things because that's not how my order of cleaning is supposed to go.
My room, however, I am okay with messiness because it is my personal space and doesn't affect others. (not trash or dishes, just laundry) I despise the laundry process.
Does anyone else find it stressful to the point you aren't able to take care of tasks at home when living with a roommate that doesn't share the same standards or respect your work around the house?
A big stressor for me right now in terms of general living at home.
Roommate repeatedly leaves dishes undone for sometimes weeks, dirty dishes all over the place, and trash sitting on the counters feet from the trashcan. I used to do his dishes for him because then it would mean I was able to move on to the rest of my cleaning routine, until it became an issue between us for other reasons.
For me, dishes need to be done before I am able to start the rest of my cleaning in my kitchen and main living area. When this doesn't happen, being home stresses me out, because it's messy and I feel like I am not able to do anything about it. I can't just clean the other things because that's not how my order of cleaning is supposed to go.
My room, however, I am okay with messiness because it is my personal space and doesn't affect others. (not trash or dishes, just laundry) I despise the laundry process.
Already diagnosed ADHD at 26. I want to know if what I am feeling and thinking are valid reasons for me to be assessed.
Below are some notes I wrote down today on what I plan on talking about when I start therapy. I write things down because I feel I am better at more accurately describing my thoughts and feelings with writing because verbally I'm a mess. The verbal portion is also what makes me nervous about an assessment because it is my weakest and most stressful area of communication.
Romantic:
Why I fawn to him, and sacrifice my own needs so much.
Why I've never fallen for someone this hard before, and why never getting to be with him feels so painful and like the end of the world for me,
Why it feels like I will never love someone the way I love him, and how I don't want to be with someone If I don't want them like him.
Why I love the way I do, and self sabotage.
Why I love harder when my love isn't being reciprocated
People skills:
Why i'm so lonely, have trouble bonding deeply with more people, and why social situations stress me out so much.
Why I always feel the need to rehearse and script conversations with people, more so when I am unfamiliar with them to the point I don't know what to say when that part is over. I feel like I don't know how to talk to people that I don't know super well other than trying to remember social norms like asking how they are and things like that and why I feel so much pressure and stress when I'm in social situations unless I am intoxicated.
My forms of self-harm: Skin picking, popping pimples that I know aren't ready, pulling hairs, drinking, casual sex, tattoos and piercings
Why my verbal communication is far surpassed by my writing
Other:
Safe foods- My diet regularly consists of the same foods. I struggle bringing in new foods. I've recently (the last year) started trying new foods and not hated them, but do not make them routine and do not go for them. I get made fun of by my family for being the one that will order chicken strips anywhere.
When I am feeling stressed and/or depressed, I find one of my comfort shows that is long. There are about 5-6 that I will repeat.
Analyzing and investigating- I get super excited at work when there is something for me to investigate and analyze, to the point where it gets me in trouble for not doing my other work that I am less interested in as well as annoys my team because I won't let it go if I feel like something is off.
*I spent way too long writing and rewriting this to make sure that I am being accurate in my self-descriptions. I also do this whenever I am writing messages (even just text messages to friends and family) or any professional communication.
**There are more reasons, but I get overwhelmed trying to describe a lot of it and also recall situationally. Maybe my ADHD side.