(17F) confessed I lost feelings for a guy (18M) who later confessed his feelings for me, but I still find myself waiting for him and feeling jealous. How do I figure out what I actually want?
So for context, me and this guy — let's call him Y — are in the same class (I got into school early). Back in November last year, we were partners at a school function and naturally developed mutual feelings for each other. We used to talk for hours, voice calls, the whole thing.
Fast forward to January — he mentioned his ex, and it completely shattered the image I had of him. I'd seen him as this sweet, innocent guy (he'd literally shiver if he accidentally touched my hand, blush easily, you get the idea). Feeling deceived, I distanced myself. Finals came and I stopped attending school altogether for a while.
When the new session started in April and we were made project partners again, he straight up asked what happened and then confessed his feelings for me. I told him honestly that I'd lost mine and couldn't pretend otherwise.
But here's where I'm confused — despite saying that, I still wait for his texts. I get uncomfortable when he talks to other people. We talk on calls until 2 AM. I genuinely adore him. Yet my closest friends dislike him, and I know practically there's no future since I'm planning to move abroad for higher education.
So what is actually going on with me, and what should I do?