Unable to move from uni friend
There is this one guy from my uni. I was just a friend of him in first semester and lowkey hated him in beginning. But soon things happened and then through mutual friends we became very good friends. I got to know a lot about him. He was so intellectually good and was a gentleman. My perspective about him changed. He changed me also. I became intellectually aware about many things. I was lying to myself for 3-4 months that i am not in love with him but I proved myself wrong when one day just for him I stayed in uni to spend time with him. I came home and was devastated because this was the first time i was in love. I cried and cried and cried because it’s very complicated. ( i know you guys will say what bullshit is this) i dont wanna be in a relationship at all and mostly he is out of my league. I am pretty decent and little bit attractive but he is way too beautiful. I do have commitment issues. I dont wanna end up with anyone even if i want it’s impossible that i will tell him anything and even if it tell him anything its impossible he will say yes. Now month of june and july was hell for me. Because of him and my exams i went through serious depression. But by the end of july and aug I thought i moved on from him. However, i just got to know he left uni to join issb. Today was another day i cried for him and i hope it’s last.
Throwback to January or feb I texted my friend in a jokingly way and said i want a one sided love story which will make me miserable and i think here it is. I dont think so i will ever be able to see him ever again.