r/PakistaniTeenTalks

For an orderrrrrr

Society made me hate my own hair.

When I was little, I had really curly, thick, almost golden-brown hair. Looking back at old pictures, my hair was genuinely beautiful. But I remember people constantly staring at it and saying things like, “What kind of hair is that?” “Why is it so curly?” “Do you even comb your hair?” Some would joke that I looked like I had just woken up.

I was just a kid, but after hearing it enough times, I started thinking there was something wrong with my hair.

Every time I went to the barber, I would hesitate and keep telling him, “Make it straight. I want straight hair.” I just wanted to look like everyone else.

There was even a teacher at school who would get weirdly annoyed whenever I ran my hands through my hair. She was always angry and rude about it. I still remember how uncomfortable it made me feel. Looking back, I genuinely don't understand how adults can make a child feel ashamed of something as harmless as their hair.

So I started trying everything I could to make my hair straight and “normal.”

And somewhere along the way, I developed severe scalp problems. I've been dealing with scalp psoriasis for around four or five years now. My scalp has gone through so much inflammation, scaling and irritation.

The ironic part?

Now people don't really ask, “Why is your hair like that?”

Because curly, wavy, golden-brown hair is actually considered beautiful now.

Sometimes I think about that little kid who genuinely believed his hair was ugly because everyone kept telling him it was strange.

I wish I could go back and tell him:

There was never anything wrong with your hair. You were just surrounded by people who didn't know how to appreciate something different.

It's crazy how casually people can make a child insecure about something they'll spend years trying to accept later.

Not tagging any sect, not naming any madrasa, not anti-ulama.. I love the real scholars, I quote them below. This is about the guy on the loudspeaker in your mohalla and the uncle who forwards him. Every point has a reference, go check me, I'd rather be corrected than wrong.

1. "AURAT KI AWAZ BHI PARDA HAI"

Quran 33:32 tells the Prophet's wives: don't speak softly to men, speak in a proper manner.. meaning speak. Sahaba learned half the deen from Aisha ra, out loud. Umar ra appointed Shifa bint Abdullah as inspector of the Madinah market (Ibn Hajar, al-Isabah), a woman supervising male traders, with her voice. Hanafi position, the one Pakistan follows: a woman's voice is NOT awrah, Ibn Abidin says it straight in Radd al-Muhtar 1/406. What's not allowed is making it soft and melodic for strangers. That's it. A girl answering in class is not a sin. A girl giving a presentation is not a sin.

2. "TASVEER HARAM, VIDEO HARAM"

Says the maulvi with a YouTube channel. Honest version: this one is a real ikhtilaf. Mufti Taqi Usmani sb and most Indo-Pak ulama say photos = picture making = haram. Most Arab scholars from all four madhabs say no, the hadith on image makers is about creating images from imagination to rival Allah's creation, a camera only reflects what Allah already made. Shaykh Bakhit al-Muti'i of Azhar wrote a whole book on it a hundred years ago, al-Jawab al-Shafi. So two things. One, say "scholars differ", not "haram, khatam". Two, if you're going to pick the haram side, don't pick it for us and the halal side for your channel.

3. "AURTEIN MASJID NAHI JATEEN"

The Prophet ﷺ said: do not prevent the female servants of Allah from the mosques of Allah. Bukhari 900, Muslim 442. When Ibn Umar ra narrated this and his own son said "we will prevent them", Ibn Umar got furious: I narrate to you from the Messenger of Allah and you say we will prevent them? Yes, there's another hadith that her home is better for her (Abu Dawud 567). Better for her, her choice. Not "banned". A mosque in Pakistan with zero women's space is culture, not sunnah. Masjid e Nabawi had women in it, every prayer.

4. "KUTTA NAJIS HAI, GHAR MEIN RAKHNA HARAM"

Quran 5:4 allows eating what your trained dog hunts. 18:18, the people of the cave had a dog and Allah mentioned it with love. The hadith everyone quotes (Bukhari 5480) says whoever keeps a dog that is NOT for hunting, herding or guarding loses reward daily. So a guard dog, a farm dog, a working dog, textually fine. The Maliki madhab doesn't even consider the dog najis. What the texts do discourage is a dog kept inside the house for no purpose, I'm not going to hide that part. But "kutta kafiron ka janwar hai", no. That's us.

5. "DOOSRI SHAADI KE LIYE BIWI KI IJAZAT NAHI CHAHIYE, 4 SUNNAT HAI"

Half true, and the half they skip is the whole point. 4:3 gives the permission with a condition in the same breath: if you fear you won't be just, then ONE. 4:129 says you will never be fully just between wives however hard you try. When Ali ra wanted a second wife while married to Fatima ra, the Prophet ﷺ stood on the mimbar and said no, Fatima is a part of me, what hurts her hurts me (Bukhari 3729, 5230). Yes, the hadith also mentions it was Abu Jahl's daughter, but read his words, he said "I hate to see her troubled", he counted his daughter's pain as a reason, out loud, publicly. Fiqh-wise I'll concede it: the first wife's consent is not a condition for the nikah to be valid, no madhab says it is. And Pakistani law (Muslim Family Laws Ordinance 1961, section 6) also doesn't need her consent, it needs written permission from the Arbitration Council, she's just asked and gets a representative. Skip that and you owe her full mahr on the spot plus up to a year in jail. So "ijazat nahi chahiye" is technically right. "4 sunnat hai" is not. The sunnah was one wife for 25 years, and a man who told Ali no.

6. "JAHEZ ISLAMI HAI, FATIMA RA KO BHI MILA THA"

Jahez is a Hindu custom we kept and renamed. In Islam money flows from the groom to the bride, that's mahr, 4:4, "give women their mahr as a gift". Fatima ra's few items (a bed, a leather pillow stuffed with grass, a water skin, a hand mill) were bought with the money of Ali ra's OWN mahr. He sold his armour, the Prophet ﷺ told him to use that money. That's Ali paying for Ali's house. And the Prophet gave nothing like this to his other three daughters. If it was sunnah it would've been for all four. A father bleeding for a fridge and a motorcycle is not sunnah, it's extortion with a dupatta on it.

7. "BIRTHDAY HARAM, CAKE KAATNA KUFR"

There is no verse, no hadith on birthdays. None. Ibn Baz and Ibn Uthaymeen said haram, imitation of non-Muslims. Qaradawi, Dar al-Ifta Egypt, many Hanafi and Shafi'i scholars say it's a worldly custom (urf), allowed if nothing haram is in it. The Prophet ﷺ fasted on Mondays and when asked why, he said that's the day I was born (Muslim 1162). So pick a side, fine. Calling a 7 year old's cake kufr is the only thing in that room that's actually against the deen.

8. "CIGARETTE SIRF MAKRUH HAI" (the one they go SOFT on)

Funny how the strictness disappears here. Quran 2:195, don't throw yourselves into destruction. 4:29, don't kill yourselves. Hadith: la darar wa la dirar, no harm and no reciprocating harm (Ibn Majah 2341). Al Azhar: haram. Dar al-Ifta Egypt: haram. Saudi Permanent Committee: haram. OIC Fiqh Academy: haram. Ibn Baz, Ibn Uthaymeen: haram. "Makruh" was the ruling from the 1600s when nobody knew what it does to lungs. The maulvi lighting a Gold Leaf right after the khutba about music being haram.. yeah.

9. "WO DOOSRE MASLAK WALE KAFIR HAIN"

Bukhari 6104. If a man says to his brother "O kafir", it returns to one of them. The Prophet ﷺ put a price on that word so we'd stop throwing it. Pakistan throws it like confetti. Every sect in this country has a maulvi who has made takfir of every other sect, which by this hadith means at least some of them have made takfir of themselves.

10. "TARJUMA MAT PARHO, GUMRAH HO JAO GE"

The Quran asks: do they not ponder the Quran, or are there locks on their hearts? 47:24. A blessed book, that they may reflect on its verses, 38:29. We have made the Quran easy to remember, so is there anyone who will take heed? 54:17. Allah told you to think about it and a man told you not to read it. Reciting Arabic you don't understand for 30 years and never once asking what it says is like signing your own nikah nama without reading it. Read a translation. Read two. That's what the book itself is asking.

NOW THE 3 WHERE THEY'RE RIGHT AND WE MOCK THEM

Fair is fair.

Beard. It's not a maulvi invention. The Prophet ﷺ ordered it (Bukhari 5892), three madhabs say wajib, Shafi'is say makruh to shave. You can disagree on the fist-length detail, but "beard is just culture" is wrong, I'm sorry.

Handshake with women. Aisha ra said the Prophet's ﷺ hand never touched any woman's hand even when taking bay'ah, he took their pledge by words only (Bukhari 5288). They're right on this one and we call them backward for it.

Namaz. Every single one of them, every sect, every mohalla, says pray five times. That one is not up for debate and no "but the maulvi is a hypocrite" cancels it. His hypocrisy is his file. Your namaz is yours.

The point isn't "maulvis bad". The point is that a lot of what we're handed as Islam is Punjab, or Arabia's culture, or somebody's ego, with a Quran cover on it. Deen is simple enough to check. So check. Ask me anything below, I'll answer with a reference or I'll say I don't know.

(Sincere questions, no fights, over at r/theislam)

Why everything that is so cool and eye-catching so pretty out of reach??? Some of em not available in Pakistan and who sell those things online sell FAKE.

😔😔

I love Reze