u/AHMADX2K

Main kisi ke sath bhi hota hoon, mujhe lagta hai main us jagah hota hi nahi, main kahin aur hi hota hoon. Doston mein bhi aisa hi lagta hai ke sab ke dost hain, aur main apne hi doston mein bhi kisi se baat karna pasand nahi karta.

Main maanta hoon main khud koi farishta nahi hoon, main bhi galat bolta hunga na. Par bhai jo insaan fitrat se ghatiya lag jata hai, pata chal jata hai ke banda do-number hai. Is liye main khamosh hi rehta hoon.

Ab zyada tar log samajhte hain ke maine kela khaya hai, par main kaise samjhaun ke main hoon hi is tarah ka. Main yakkya kabhi kabhi hi karta hoon. Log mujh se chahte hain ke main har waqt yakkya karta rahun, par main waisa insaan nahi hoon.

Aisa lagta hai main kisi jagah par ho kar bhi wahan nahi hoon.

Upar se main jisko dost samajhta hoon, shayad log mujhe koi waisa dost nahi samajhte. Main agar kisi ko message na karun, agla message nahi karega. Allah ki qasam, aise log phir zahiri baat hai, ab maine to dost hi samjha tha na sabko.

To bas aik pyaar hota hai dost ke liye. Jab aik shakhs waisa nahi rehta jaise pehle tha, phir takleef hoti hai. Ab main kisi ko dost hi nahi samajhta. Akela rehna pasand karta hoon.

Mere apne ghar mein bhi meri baat sirf walda se hi hoti hai. Sab se zyada na behno se, na kisi se. Akela rehta hoon. Main akela khata hoon, akela peeta hoon, akela sota hoon.

Jab bhi main haarta hoon ya jab bhi main jeetta hoon, main akela hi hota hoon. Koi nahi hota mere sath. Na maa, na baap, na behne, koi bhi nahi.

Mujhe aaj tak jo mila, woh main hi hoon.

For me it's MUAZ SATTAR..

Why does my brother get THIS angry over games?

I genuinely don't know what's wrong with my brother.

He's almost 18 and he's actually a really smart student, like 90%+ grades and all that. Normally he's completely fine.

But when he's playing a game and loses, it's like a switch flips.

He starts screaming, swearing at the game, crying, sometimes doing that proper hiccup-type crying, and punching the door/walls. Sometimes he'll throw things too. It's honestly weird to watch because he's almost 18 and he's crying like a little kid over losing a game.

One night I finally told him about it and he was like, "Main aapko thori na keh raha hoon" (I'm not saying it to you).

And yeah, technically he's not saying anything to me, but bro, I'm still in the same house listening to someone scream and punch walls 😭

What I don't understand is how quickly he goes from normal to completely losing it. He's not dumb or immature academically either. He's actually one of those 90%+ students.

Is this just really bad gamer rage/frustration tolerance or could there be something else going on? Has anyone else's sibling been like this?

Why does my brother get THIS angry over games?

I genuinely don't know what's wrong with my brother.

He's almost 18 and he's actually a really smart student, like 90%+ grades and all that. Normally he's completely fine.

But when he's playing a game and loses, it's like a switch flips.

He starts screaming, swearing at the game, crying, sometimes doing that proper hiccup-type crying, and punching the door/walls. Sometimes he'll throw things too. It's honestly weird to watch because he's almost 18 and he's crying like a little kid over losing a game.

One night I finally told him about it and he was like, "Main aapko thori na keh raha hoon" (I'm not saying it to you).

And yeah, technically he's not saying anything to me, but bro, I'm still in the same house listening to someone scream and punch walls 😭

What I don't understand is how quickly he goes from normal to completely losing it. He's not dumb or immature academically either. He's actually one of those 90%+ students.

Is this just really bad gamer rage/frustration tolerance or could there be something else going on? Has anyone else's sibling been like this?

So basically, this story starts when an arcade/token shop opened in our area.

It was brand new, so I used to go there sometimes just to see what games they had. After a while I actually started playing, and bro… I was GOOD at Tekken 😭

Like genuinely, I became one of the better Tekken players in my area. I used to play that shit all the time.

The problem was my mom had already told me not to go there. My dad had also told me, “Udhar nahi jaana.” But obviously, in my head I was like, come on, they’re just games, what’s the big deal? I thought I could get away with it.

Then one day I was playing Tekken like usual. The shop was pretty crowded.

Suddenly I saw someone coming toward me.

It was my dad.

He grabbed me, and bro, the beating started RIGHT THERE in the shop 💀

He grabbed me by the neck/collar and started hitting me. Everyone in the arcade was literally watching.

And the worst part? My house was only like a few steps away from the shop.

So I’m basically getting dragged home while getting beaten, with everyone watching this whole fucking scene.

Then we got home and… yeah. It continued.

I was absolutely finished 😭

I was hurt, embarrassed, angry, everything at once. Even now, when I randomly remember that incident, I get actual goosebumps. Like I can still remember the feeling of standing there with everyone looking at me.

And you'd think after getting beaten like that I'd never go back, right?

NOPE.

I went again.

And somehow the second time, I got punished even worse.

At this point you'd think I'd finally learn my lesson.

I went a THIRD time.

💀

Bro, my relationship with Tekken was genuinely eternal. I don't know what that game had over me.

Looking back, I genuinely don't understand what was going through my mind. I was basically risking my entire existence just to play Tekken.

But those arcade days were something else, man.

Need advice on entry test prep + university choices

I’m currently in 2nd year ICS and honestly I’m getting really stressed about university admissions and what I’m supposed to do after FSc.

I’m mainly considering CS/engineering, but I’m also open to business because I’m not completely sure what I want to do yet. Whenever I ask people about universities, almost everyone just says FAST or NUST, but then I look at their entry tests and they seem really difficult.

My biggest problem is MCQs. I can understand things when someone explains a concept to me, but when I actually get an unfamiliar MCQ, I often just don’t understand how I’m supposed to approach it. Even concepts sometimes don’t click properly for me, and then I start thinking about how I’m going to complete the entire syllabus and prepare properly for these tests.

My academics are around 94% in Matric and I’m hoping for 85%+ in FSc, so academically I’m not starting from zero, but I feel very underprepared for competitive entry tests.

Honestly, this whole phase is already making me really sad and overwhelmed. I keep thinking about what university I’ll get into, what field I should choose, whether I’ll be able to handle the entry tests, and how I’m even supposed to prepare for all of this. I genuinely don’t know what to do sometimes.

I’m thinking about joining an entry-test preparation batch/academy, but I have no idea which one would actually suit me. I’ve heard about TIPS and Hashim Zia’s batches, among others.

So I’d really appreciate some genuine advice:

Which entry-test prep/batch would you recommend for FAST/NUST?

Is TIPS worth joining?

What about Hashim Zia’s batch?

If MCQs are my biggest weakness, what should I specifically work on?

How do I actually improve my ability to understand and solve unfamiliar MCQs?

Which universities should I realistically apply to besides FAST and NUST?

What are good options for CS/engineering and business?

Should I keep LUMS, GIKI, COMSATS, ITU, UET, etc. as options?

I’m from Lahore, so advice from people who have gone through the admission process here would be really helpful.

I’m just genuinely lost right now and could use some direction on what I should actually do from this point onward.

How can I tell if the water in my house is hard?

I’m trying to figure out whether I have hard water or not. The weird thing is that my hair reacts differently depending on which bathroom I shower in.

In one bathroom, after showering my hair gets kinda crunchy/scrunchy, feels rough, and the strands stick together. But when I shower in another bathroom, my hair sometimes feels much softer and more normal.

So I’m wondering if this could be because of the water.

What are some easy ways to check if your water is hard? Is there any simple test I can do at home without buying some expensive equipment? And can hard water actually make your hair feel like this?

How can I tell if the water in my house is hard?

I’m trying to figure out whether I have hard water or not. The weird thing is that my hair reacts differently depending on which bathroom I shower in.

In one bathroom, after showering my hair gets kinda crunchy/scrunchy, feels rough, and the strands stick together. But when I shower in another bathroom, my hair sometimes feels much softer and more normal.

So I’m wondering if this could be because of the water.

What are some easy ways to check if your water is hard? Is there any simple test I can do at home without buying some expensive equipment? And can hard water actually make your hair feel like this?

How can I tell if the water in my house is hard?

I’m trying to figure out whether I have hard water or not. The weird thing is that my hair reacts differently depending on which bathroom I shower in.

In one bathroom, after showering my hair gets kinda crunchy/scrunchy, feels rough, and the strands stick together. But when I shower in another bathroom, my hair sometimes feels much softer and more normal.

So I’m wondering if this could be because of the water.

What are some easy ways to check if your water is hard? Is there any simple test I can do at home without buying some expensive equipment? And can hard water actually make your hair feel like this?

Huh?

Mine are Doraemon Bheem Horrid Henry Oggy and the cockroaches and ofc Ben 10 hm we bare bears Mr bean mecard miraculous ladybug..

Imagine you could design a guy from scratch. What would you choose?

Random thought but imagine you get to create a guy from zero and you can decide everything about his appearance and style.

Like what hair would you give him? Long or short? Straight, wavy or curly? Messy hair, middle part, fringe, mullet, whatever.

What would his wardrobe look like? Like black oversized tees, white shirts, pink shirts, hoodies, baggy jeans, cargos, straight-fit jeans, sweaters, button-ups, etc. What colors would he wear the most?

What shoes would you give him? Jordans, Air Forces, Converse, boots, loafers, running shoes, etc.

Would he wear accessories? A watch, rings, chains, bracelets, earrings, glasses, maybe a necklace?

Then personality-wise, what kind of humor would he have? Dry, sarcastic, dark, goofy, stupid jokes, dad jokes 😭

And how would he behave with people? Friends, family, strangers, someone he doesn't like, etc.

Basically you're designing your ideal guy like a character creator. What are you choosing?

I don't really know how to write this properly so I'm just going to write it the way it comes to my mind.

When I was a little kid, I had brown curly hair, kind of golden in some lighting. People used to make fun of my hair and say I had a fucking nest on my head. But that's not even the main thing.

I have a sister who's one year older than me. She was always an insane student. Like genuinely top-notch. Her handwriting was so neat it looked like a computer had written it. She used to get 98, 99, 100%. Always first position.

I was also a good student. I used to get around 90%, sometimes more. I was usually 2nd or 3rd in class.

But I never got first position.

And somehow that became my identity.

I still remember being in first grade and a teacher slapped me and basically told me why I wasn't like my sister. Why wasn't my handwriting as good as hers, why wasn't I like her.

I was literally in first grade.

And it didn't stop there.

As I grew up, my parents started doing the same thing.

"If your sister can do it, why can't you?"

"She can get these marks, what's wrong with you?"

I heard this shit so many times that eventually I just got used to it.

Then 9th grade came.

My sister got around 99%.

I was genuinely heartbroken. Not because she got it. I was happy for her. I was heartbroken because I knew what was coming next.

Now everyone had an even bigger reason to compare me to her.

My father wanted me to get 95%.

I got 504 marks, around 92%.

I called my father when my result came out.

The first thing he said was literally:

"95% toh nahi hai na?"

Then he cut the phone.

I still remember that.

My mother and even my little sister would call me nalayak. Relatives would ask me about my marks. Teachers would compare me with my sister.

And then there was my school.

For 9th grade especially, they basically taught us through ratta. They would make us memorize things instead of actually teaching us how to understand them. Sometimes I would literally be sitting in the corridor just memorizing.

I switched to an academy.

But even there I wasn't really allowed to escape the comparison.

My sister got the highest marks there too.

So the teachers knew me as:

"The topper's brother."

That's literally what they called me.

"Your sister studies so much, why don't you?"

I heard it again and again.

Then my 9th exams happened.

Physics fucked me especially. I had memorized all the numericals we were taught, but an unfamiliar numerical came in the paper. It wasn't the same one from the book, and I didn't know how to approach it because I had basically been taught to memorize instead of understand.

I got 44/60 in Physics.

I was convinced something was wrong.

My other marks were actually pretty good. 60/60 in Chemistry, 50/50 in Computer, 74/75 in English, 47/50 Islamiat, 49 in Pak Studies.

So I went for rechecking.

And that's when I realized how useless rechecking basically felt. They put your paper in front of you, but if the examiner has marked something wrong, you can't really challenge their judgment. They just count the marks.

I remember looking at that paper and thinking, bro, this can't be right.

And my parents were angry that I even wanted to get it checked.

Then my sister got a position in the board.

That was probably one of the worst things for my mental state.

Not because I hated her.

But because I knew the comparison had just reached another fucking level.

Out of so many students, she got a position.

Now imagine being me.

"Your sister got a board position. Why can't you?"

I was already broken.

Then there was my friend, let's call him Scooby.

He was actually extremely intelligent but also one of the most arrogant people I've ever met. He got 532 and he was also pissed because he believed his Urdu paper had been checked unfairly.

We both consoled each other.

And we decided that fuck it, we're going to grind 10th.

And something actually changed in 10th.

There was a girl in my class who was really intelligent. I had a little crush on her.

And somehow that became motivation for me.

I thought, if I want to reach her level, I need to study.

So I actually started studying properly.

I started analyzing my weak points. I studied six, sometimes seven hours.

I remember waking up at 10 AM and studying until 1 or 2. One day I woke up at 9 AM and literally sat there studying until 3 because there was a test at the academy.

I grinded like crazy.

And then something happened that I had never experienced in my entire life.

I got first position.

I shared the stage with another student who had the same percentage.

That was genuinely one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

For once, I wasn't "the topper's brother."

I was the topper.

Even if it was just one test or academy result, for me it meant something much bigger.

I had finally proved to myself that maybe I wasn't what everyone had been telling me I was.

Then the board exams came.

I studied hard and the exams actually felt good.

I remember thinking that either my result would be really fucking good or really fucking bad. I was tired of being in the middle.

I didn't want to be average anymore.

Then practicals happened.

My first practical went horribly.

I cried after it because I thought everything was over.

Then the result came.

Around 94%.

And once again I was devastated.

English hurt the most.

I remember coming out of that paper thinking I had absolutely smashed it. My MCQs were correct. I genuinely thought I'd get 70+ out of 75.

And then 10 marks were gone.

I remember thinking, how the fuck did that happen?

And that feeling was worse because I had already experienced something similar in 9th.

It felt like the same thing had happened to me again.

That's where everything started going downhill.

First year started.

I was depressed and I basically stopped studying.

I had this thing in my head that I wanted to go in the same direction as that girl who had motivated me, but eventually I just lost myself.

I wasted most of the year.

Then the last two or three months came and I studied like a fucking madman. But if you haven't studied the whole year, you can't magically fix everything in a few months.

The exams happened.

They were probably the worst exams I've ever given.

And now I'm scared about my future.

First year matters a lot for university admissions, especially if you're going into CS or engineering.

I was hoping for 85+, maybe 90.

Now I don't even know.

And at this point, I'm scared.

I'm scared that all my friends will move ahead in their lives, get into good universities, build their careers, and I'll just be left behind watching everyone move on without me.

It's not that I want them to fail. I genuinely want them to succeed.

I'm just scared that I'll be the one person who couldn't keep up.

And the comparison is still there.

My whole fucking life has been comparison.

My father once told a relative when I was around 14 or 15:

"Look at him. He isn't going to do anything in life."

Imagine being 14 years old and hearing your own father say that about you in front of another person.

You hear things like that enough times and eventually they become your own thoughts.

That's what scares me.

I'm tired.

I'm genuinely fucking tired.

All my life I've been compared to my sister, classmates, relatives, toppers, everyone.

And sometimes I just sit there thinking about how different my life could have been if I had been allowed to just be myself.

Maybe that's the tragedy of existence.

You spend your childhood trying to prove that you're good enough, and then one day you realize you don't even know what "good enough" means anymore.

I don't know if I'm going to get the university I want.

I don't know if I'll have the future I imagined.

I don't know if I'll ever reach the level of that little crush who unknowingly motivated me to work so hard.

And honestly, right now I'm just sad.

Really fucking sad.

But I remember that kid who got first position in 10th.

He existed.

I was him.

So maybe I haven't completely lost myself.

Maybe I'm just tired.

If you've read all of this, thank you. Seriously.

It means more than you probably think.

And if there's one thing I want someone younger than me to take from this:

Never stop grinding.

Not to become your sister.

Not to beat someone else's marks.

Not to make your parents proud.

Just don't give up on yourself because someone else made you feel like you weren't enough.

Thanks for reading.