r/GiftedKidBurnouts

I(19F) am autistic college student in biology, a major I was, well, semi-forced into by my parents. The thing is, i'm no really interesting in biology. And i hate studying more than anything in this world! But, still i do study my hardest hard to get good grades, ti somehow ends up horrible and i'm burnt out. I want to cry, scream, yelling at my parents that i suck at this and no matter how much i study, i won't be good enough. What i ready like is math, coding, and writing. I already published a book and made a playable game but that isn't enough. I wish i could just lock myself in my room and writing and code. But you don't need a degree to be a writer. And the coding/IT/gaming industry is getting oversaturated especially since ai can do most of the heavy lifting. And I kind of suck at math now.....But still, i wanna does the things i love. i;m obsessed with, so what if i suck at math. I's study my ass and claw my way up to understand!! Do you know how it feels to create a game. Like hell. Image at 11 p,m., i'm typing away, coding. Only to run my program and have 17 F8ckin errors! I cried at that, i was like, why are there so many error, i fixed it like 10 times already. I typed away so badly that even my dreams i was coding, preying that my code would work. But when i finally got it to a playable level. I feel a wave of satisfaction and others things i couldn't explain!! I felt so happy, i could fly to the moon. So much i could go through that hell again and make another game!!! When writing, i feel like i'm in a trance. Typing and typing until my finger cramp, the biting pain in the tips and body of my finger, but it feels so f*cking. There my bane, obsession and mistress. but that not what my parent what, so what should i do

Like most of you reading this, probably, I have been told all my life (17 years) how smart I am, and when in class I have repeatedly defended this title, scoring As on tests without studying, As on projects that go up on the walls, etc.

However, now that I find myself preparing for the next stage of life (college), I realized that because I have basically just carried easily on academia my whole life, I never actually did anything to make myself stand out.

So, already this kind of made me realize that I don't really have a shot at the big leagues in terms of schooling. And at first this was really depressing, I felt like I had failed my life, especially because I was planning to be a doctor.

But when it came to being a doctor, I wanted to be one simply because that's just what every adult tells you to be when you're a smart kid. So I looked at some other careers, and after some deliberation, I think I've narrowed it down to either veterinary science or (more likely) actuarial science. And I figured that I'd actually go to community college first and then transfer to a 4 year college.

Because honestly, I think I lack the ambition that is expected of a person who is supposed to reach the peaks of this whole system.

But this got me wondering, despite the fact that I feel okay with this path and know that in the long run it'll provide me with a steady life, have I wasted the shot I was given with natural intelligence by not striving for the Ivys or the long 10-15 year prep. careers?

just looking to see if anyone has some kernels of wisdom

I went to a liberal arts college and took all the “well-rounded person” classes they push—humanities, social sciences, the works. I actually enjoyed learning new ways to think, but not being told what to think. There was a ton of ideology shoved at us about how evil the country/system is, all from the people who benefited the most from the system. They came from well-off backgrounds and had no clue what real struggle looks like.

I’m a white male from a poor family, so I guess according to some narratives, I was handed everything on a silver platter? Reality: my dad lost his job when Clinton was elected. My dad’s company closed due to Clinton defense budget cuts and moving jobs overseas.

I was in middle school, my parents divorced, he killed himself. We became a single-parent household on food stamps + his Social Security. I have bipolar disorder but never got any benefits , accommodations or whatever for my “disability” status.

I pushed through school got a master’s degree, but came out with $75k in debt and couldn’t find a job paying more than $32k starting. The “prescribed road” (college → degree → good job) led to failure after failure for me. When I ditched that script, started my own small business, and became the master of my own fate, my life improved 10x.

I believe in equality for everyone—I’ve lived through struggle and started over many times from nothing. being surrounded by privileged classmates, professors and learning how oppressed everyone is (while I was barley scraping by) felt worthless false and disingenuous.

Most of what I learned in college didn’t help me in life at all. The only real hope for people like me seems to be the opportunities this country thankfully still offers—if you hustle outside the system

You can make it. Don’t buy the prescribed narrative their goal is to get you stuck on the government teet. Do the work they prescribe, think they way they want to, be good little cog.

Am I wrong? Is the liberal arts path actually valuable is it overhyped for most? Curious to hear other perspective.

Junior in Highschool here, does it ever get better? I just need an honest answer. And I know it’s up to me to be happy in this life and it probably does only get worse, but I’m scared. My sister is in college and hates her life and is juggling a job and school and sorority stuff, as am I with my school and my job. Every adult I ask wants to tell me to “enjoy my youth cause it only gets worse.” Why would I even stay alive if it’s just gonna keep getting worse?

I didn't study my whole life im 21 now I failed 12th Jee everything I dont even know my interests what should I do? like I've wasted my life in weird things like can't even explain my batch mates are doing masters now and im stuck here I really wanna do something w my life please help me guys I feel like this is the end what should I do im literally so done pls help

My father has a Masters in Electrical Engineering. He made over $12,000 a month in take-home pay over 20 years ago. Idk how much his net worth is now.

Long story short, I grew up with my mother and never interacted with my father in middle and high school. My mother admitted she did everything wrong. Those years were horrible. I realize now what I should've done.

What's sad is I work a general labor job in a factory that manufactures electronics. I've met engineers who I wasn't impressed by.

I scored a 27 on the ACT without studying. I distinctly recall being one of only 2 students who got a logic question correct on a Physics test. My 6th grade math teacher said I could skip the grade. I did better than this other guy in my 7th grade math class, and he ended up in Environmental engineering or something.

I had severe anxiety to the point where my hands would tremble uncontrollably. It happened when I was 18. It simply wasn't possible for me to do college after high school because of how broken I was.

I'm now 30, and I feel like a completely different person. I now feel like an extrovert. If I didn't have that trauma I had back then, i know for a fact I could've been an engineer. I absolutely could've had so many accomplishments!

Anybody else descended from a millionaire engineer who excelled at math, and had multiple proofs of their raw intelligence only to have it all wasted?

I used to be a consistent top student, from elementary to JHS. I became top 1 in our class.
I used to participate in school events and activities such as pageants, quiz bees, art contests, anything you name it. Every time we have role play, i always get the main character. When theres games or competitions, I’ll never let failure, i stay competitive. But now, I’m not even part of the average anymore. I’m failing at simple presentations that I used to be able to do with confidence. I don’t participate anymore. I’d rather stay in the shadows than be noticed or seen. I can’t even present myself in front of others. I don’t communicate. If there’s a problem, I end up letting it pass, only to deal with it when it becomes bigger. I don’t commit to anything anymore.
Why did I change so drastically? I miss my old self, and I need her.

Does anyone else ever look at their grades and think, “I could have done so much better if I had just taken things seriously earlier”?

I graduated from a German Gymnasium with a 1.6 Abitur. For context, that's a good grade, roughly equivalent to around a 3.8 GPA depending on how you convert it. I know I should be proud of it, especially because I did very well in my Abitur exams and managed to bring my overall score up significantly.

But honestly, I can't stop thinking about what could have been.

I've always dreamed of attending a top university in the US or UK, building an impressive career, and being in an environment where I'd meet ambitious people, build a strong network, and make connections that could potentially help me later in life.

The frustrating part is that I don't feel like I came close to my academic ceiling.

In Germany, the final Abitur grade is based on the relevant final semesters of Gymnasium as well as the Abitur exams. I completely messed up my first relevant quarter/semester because I simply wasn't taking school seriously enough at the time. I didn't have clear goals, I wasn't thinking much about university admissions, and I definitely didn't understand how much those grades could matter later.

Then, once I actually started caring, I improved a lot. My Abitur exams went very well and helped bring me up to a 1.6 Abitur average.

And that's what bothers me.

If I had taken school seriously from the beginning, stayed consistent, and actually had a clear goal in mind, I genuinely think I could have graduated around 1.3, which would be roughly equivalent to a 3.9 GPA.

A 1.6 is objectively a good result, and I know I'm fortunate to have it. But when I think about the universities I might have been able to apply to with a stronger academic record, it feels like I unnecessarily closed doors for myself before I even understood how important those doors were.

I'm trying to remind myself that university admissions aren't the end of the world and that there are still plenty of ways to build an amazing career and meet great people.

But I still wonder:

Has anyone else experienced this feeling? Getting a good grade, but knowing you could have achieved something significantly better if you had just taken things more seriously earlier?

And for anyone who had a similar experience: did it actually matter in the long run, or did you eventually realize that the difference between “very good” and “almost perfect” grades wasn't as important as it felt at the time?

MY STORY: was an absolute bum- I got a 2.7 GPA in college despite doing one of the easiest majors (basically a “I gotta get out of here” major). I made zero connections, professors hated me because I was too lazy to show up to class consistently and turn in assignments. I pretty much flamed out after being full of life and excitement at age 18.

I had never had a girlfriend in my first 27 years of life- I tried, and tried, and tried, but I was not good enough. I had 15-20k in credit card debt when I was 23, along with 10k in student loan debt, despite college mostly being paid for by my mom’s employer.

As you can guess, I was one of those NEET bums. I stayed with my dad because I would have been on the street (my credit was horrific). I got a job at a factory making 17/hr, and I got lucky, because it was right after the covid supply chain issues, which meant we were working 80 hour weeks to try to play catch-up. I was able to pay off all credit card debt and move out into a one bedroom apartment (I feel like I got the only cheap apartment in my entire town- 1k a month)

I burned out of that job and switched to another factory that had a 4 10’s schedule, but it was extremely dirty and uncomfortable. My day was wake up, scroll on my phone, go to work, come home, eat a sandwich or get takeout, go back to my phone, sleep. On weekends, I remained bed-ridden much of the time. This was my life for 2 years- and honestly, it’s what I deserved- a miserable existence for flaming out despite being somewhat of a nepo-baby. I was the kind of guy that deserved to strike out in every relationship- I had NOTHING going for me. I was god awful at saving- I’d save for 4 or 5 weeks then blow it on something dumb (Doordash, clubs, etc)

However, two years ago, while trying to get extra money working part time at a grocery store, one of the cashiers was a retiree from a major employer, and got me in. After a year, I finally got in the door, survived the 90-days (which felt like a miracle), and now, I make very good money, and I’ve had the job for a year. Excellent benefits, great 401k, and pretty good job security compared to other jobs in 2026. The big thing is- the job is more about seniority than merit, so it literally feels like a lottery that I won, nothing more.

Then, I finally found a girlfriend 3 months ago. Suddenly, my Facebook Dating profile was getting matches left and right. Lets just say- this relationship has been going extremely well. She absolutely loves me and has even met my family, and we have so much fun together. I never thought I’d have anything like this ever.

She also works a good job- so that could be even better for my life (not the reason I’m with her, but man, a DINK household could be amazing)

My thoughts: This wasn’t supposed to be me. I’m supposed to be that basement-dweller that has nothing. I’m supposed to be struggling paycheck to paycheck. I’m supposed to be lonely and rotting away with a 40+ inch waist. I’m supposed to be miserable, like a lot of other people.

Yet, because of one lucky connection, I’m not. I don’t deserve any of this- I have no real amazing skills or personality, yet I’m here.

I still feel like the same person I was, not special or unique, just now in a better spot because of luck. I didn’t have some major revelation or moment where I did something special, I didn’t have some major pivot- success literally fell into my lap, despite me still being an uninspiring bum

It makes me feel guilty when I see CS and Engineering majors struggling to even get a job or a gf. It makes me question how much of life is meritocracy vs luck.

How many of you all feel like you don’t have much to offer but you just got lucky? Or that you have a lot to offer but the economy and the world is working against you?

I’m young like really young and my whole life has been like I’m living in a bubble that pops every 2 seconds and comes back stronger,when I was 7 my sister died,when I was 8 my dad told us he had a secret family,when I was 9 I found out my dad had the same disease my sister had,when I was 10 I got into social media and not the good side,when I was 12 I got bullied and then throughout my entire school life that happend to after school,i found out my brother has the same disease.my sister is autistic,my brother is disabled my mum and dad don’t speak,and my dad is disabled,and my mum has depression,when I was 14 I struggled with alchol addiction and I left school because of it,in my last year of school I left before I could take my GCSEs and I fell into a pit of sadness and paranoia I’m now here no GCSEs no work experience no qualifications at all.im not very pretty and I do not have a lot of nice features I simply just look like a normal girl.i have social anxiety and I have 2 friends nothing else.my first ever boyfriend just cheated and dumped me and I found out that no schools will take me so now im left with nothing at all. I have to find a job by September. My question is,am i destined for failure forever because that’s all my life has ever been,I try hard and less I do more and none I do everything and nothing I am told,I have tried and done everything and it all just leads back to me sitting in my room staring at the wall wondering if I’ll ever be anything other than this.Am I a loser?

I didn't get good marks in my 11th science so now my mother wants me to study day and night so that I can at least pass out 12th. I didn't even want to take science I just wanted to study psychology which could've been possible with arts too. I got somewhat good marks in 10th so they made me take science. They're the reason I had to pursue science stream. My parents told me there won't be any scope in arts psychology later on and I should take science and give neet to become a psychiatrist. Now every morning, I'm told that I'm a failure and I won't make it anywhere if I don't study the whole day. My mom says I'm the reason she falls sick, I'm the reason we can't shift (cuz my school would be too far then so they're waiting for my 12th to be over), I'm the reason for her pains, that she'd be 75% better if only I studied properly. And apparently, i am the reason for everything that goes wrong in my parents' lives. I genuinely hate waking up in the morning where I have to hear these things even before i open my eyes. I wish every night that i don't wake up the next morning. My whole day just goes by getting scolded for each and every action I do. Everytime I make a noise I'm reminded how much I've ruined my mom's life so I don't even make a single noise anymore. I don't make a noise when I laugh, cry, or do anything at all. Getting scolded is one thing that i DESPISE yet that's what I have to deal with every single day without a break. I don't know what to feel anymore.

Hi! So before you read whatever this is
(its basically just a rant / cry for help and advice) I just want to clarify that im aware this is probably going to sound extremely selfish and first world. Though as a stressed senior in highschool I just want some non-bias thoughts on everything going through my head.

To start off, I grew up with parents who were always on and off. They would argue and then get back together; just the usual kind of stuff like that. My mom, would be at her jobs office during the day, and so would my dad. I didnt go to daycare for some of my younger years, so I spent majority of my time watching Young Money videos with my (eight years older) brother, who was super into everything entertainment, though, especially rap. And eventually, through all of these hours spent consuming footage of Drake and Nicki Minaj before they blew up in the charts, or old Michael Jackson with my dad, I decided I wanted to become a star. I started joining different classes tailored to entertainment, fell in love with it, and eventually kept doing it. My parents noticed my growing interest and revealed to me that my family is related to Grammy award winners, the biggest African American band in our home state in a time of segregation (which now has a amazing documentary), and hosts. This encouraged me to keep going with my goals.

I continued to work on my craft and eventually in middle school got approached to do my first big audition through a video my mom posted on social media. Broadway. I did it, didnt expect to hear anything, but I actually got interest. I ended up making it to the final rounds of auditions, but got beat out by a kid a few years older than me. This child is no longer a child, but is also now on major streaming services and is i would say pretty famous, so this memory stings. 😭. a lot. I stayed auditioning for things, did some featured stuff here and there, got put in the news and in some different articles for parts I played, and just fully commited to that whole auditioning and acting til you cant thing. Over this period of time, my brother also found some stardom himself in rap. High school came around and I kind of forgot about my passions. I didnt do theatre or classes anymore because I didnt enjoy the environment they were in, but due to this struggled to fill my creative outlet. This was until me and my cousin started writing music. Her dad, my uncle (a music video director) heard our stuff, loved it, showed it around, got us in the studio with Lil Uzi Vert’s producer, and we flourished. We also started posting more online and got good engagement.

During this I started to also network more seriously. Hanging out in rappers private sections in clubs, top teen influencers, invites to A-list celebrity after parties, I also started modeling so I was talking to agencies in Europe etc. Me and my Cousin finished more music and showed it to my brother, who by this point has become a manager at a top record label. He wanted to manage me, but I said ill have to think about it, because of course with him thats never easy. He said I wont be able to do certain things because of his beliefs, but honestly I could use the help. Though I do feel like mixing family and business is always a slippery slope.

Im tired of typing so the moral of the story here is that I feel like I havent been given the chance that I deserve yet and its eating me alive to the point of I dont know what the fuck to do. Yes, most people never get it. But this is just cruel. I go out with my famous (remember when I said networking) and obsessed over friends and see the way people act towards them, like their other wordly. People I used to sit in casting calls with on billboards. Songs that arent better than mine making peoples families wealthy. Im not trying to block others peoples blessings in anyway I just feel kind of lost and teased at this point. My parents keep asking what im doing and borderline, im just here at a crossroad. Do I go to a big prestigious university and spend my time majoring in something I don’t care about? Do I take a gap year and circle around? Do I go to LA or NYC in pursuit of my career and try to give my last effort to make it happen?

Honestly, I almost feel as if my whole life was pointless if I dont reach my goal. It feels like an obligation to me like something I swore an oath to do. Not to be dramatic its genuinely the feeling lmao. WHAT DO I DO AGH.