u/Proudtobeautistic22

I am 34NBTF So a couple months ago I was on Grindr looking for a quick hook up. However, I am on the autism spectrum and I almost never get told yes and normally whenever I message someone and mention that I am non-binary/trans feminine and I am on the autism spectrum even when I message anyone who is also queer in neurodivergent, they always block me even though I do not say anything inappropriate or flirty as I message them very respectfully and I always do expect to be blocked and I always end up being correct.

However, another thing I’ve been correct about is the type of people that are on Grindr.

So when I was in Westchester County, I saw that there was a trans woman who was into kink who was in my area.

I told her that I was going to be in the area and we booked an appointment for 7 PM. She told me it was going to be $100 and I immediately asked her if she was one of those “scammers“

To prove that she is not, she sent me a picture of herself and it had the symbol that it was taken two days ago, and it looked different from her profile picture.

But it showed that it was taken with the device and not a screenshot. Usually when you get that a symbol, it means it was taken with the phone.

I still felt that she was somehow a scammer and I asked her if I could pay her cash when I arrive. She said she wanted to pay me with chime, but I said that I was having an issue with Apple Pay and said to go to the store instead and get her a “gift card“ and then I did use the rest. I said let me guess you want me to send you the back of the number and then you’re just going to ask me for more and then ghost me.

I told her “not to fuck with me.“

That if she scammed me, I will report her

Long story short, I got to the hotel lobby and when I arrived there, she said, where is the photo of the card even though we initially agreed that I was going to hand it over to her. She decided to do the Scammer’s way and have me take a picture of the scratched up part of the card.

I told her about being autistic and how “I’m always right when people take advantage of me and how people like her love taking advantage of people who are gullible.”

Anyway, after I sent her the photo, she said she’ll get ready and I should wait like 30 minutes and about 20 to 30 minutes later she asked if I brought lube and condoms. I told her no that I don’t have enough money and then she told me to go back to the store, which I had to order an Uber to go back to the store and I assumed that she was gonna make me get her another card and she said that because I am accusing her of that then yes I have to do that and she said I have to get her an additional $50 gift card as a price for “TRUST ISSUES”

And even after I sent her the $50 and showed her that I got everything just like I predicted she said that thank you for your money. I’m gonna go now. This is what you get for how you treated me.

And she took my money and ran, and when I showed the front hotel lobby, the photo of the woman and the background they said yes she checked in several days ago.

Was she actually scamming me or was she doing this because I was trying to hold her accountable for something I assumed she was?

Thing is, I always have a tendency of assuming the worst and instead of keeping it to myself for purpose of validation, I like, always being right.

was she likely a Scammer or a sex worker who decided to teach me a lesson for my lack of trust and catastrophizing?

Continuation of the previous post it will be very triggering so please be very careful
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My mother told me she will never let me leave New York City and will force me to stay here forever.
The absolute peak of her calculated sabotage happened just a few months ago. I had successfully made it onto a waitlist in August 2025 and was officially approved to get my own apartment through a supportive housing program designed for people with disabilities in March. I found out I was accepted on March 9.

The literal day I found out I was approved, my pattern recognition went into high alert. I posted a highly specific, and extremely catastrophic prediction on Facebook messenger in a message, myself stating that the apartment was going to be stripped away from me. I didn't write the reason publicly I just wrote it for validation, because I knew in my core that my mother was going to find a way to destroy it.

I was so certain of her patterns that I proactively went to the supportive housing agency and explicitly warned them never to let my mother speak to them because she would try to sabotage my placement. The person who was in charge of my case at the time, said that she took what I said into absolute consideration, and that I absolutely would not be removed even if my mom asks 

Sadly, like a predicted, a month and a half later, in early May, my prediction came true down to the absolute second. I discovered that my mother had called the agency behind my back, fed them lies that I reconsidered, moving, and successfully had me taken the apartment application, so my apartment was immediately given to someone else just as I was just about to move in.

And just several days later on May 17,2026 anither domestic violence incident occurred and that occurred another one involving me and my stepfather.

My stepfather got very angry that I was speaking too long on the phone with my friend when he wanted me to go shower. I was waiting to talk to my friend who I hadn’t talked to in months in fact over a year, as we had a major falling out because he thought I was taking the side of his extremely abusive ex-wife when, in fact, I was taking his side, but long story short my stepfather was becoming extremely verbally abusive, and I deliberately left the call on when I handed him the phone without any hesitation, though I knew this would probably set him off. I realize that this might actually work in my favor, and that this could finally snap the trap on him and that he could finally get arrested for abuse.
And exactly what I expected happened and my stepfather flew into a rage and started getting even more aggressive as he started calling me names. He called me a piece of shit and I said “Yes,I’m a piece of shit, but you’re extremely rude.” which in Russian, I said Word for Word. Да я говно ты хамло.

This completely set him off, and he opened the door and tried to drag me out of the bathroom, almost completely naked and demanded that I leave his house, and I slammed the door so hard that I broke the panel and then he demanded that I opened the door and when he did, he punched me in the face, even though I did not strike him first, and then when he tried to swing again, I grabbed him by the face started scratching his face up badly, really digging into his scalp and into his face, and I tried to push him over the railing so he would tumble down the stairs over the railing, though I did not say a word to him.

My stepfather said he was going to press charges against me and I said I have a witness who saw and heard everything and that unless he wants to go to jail for all the abuse, he’s done to me for years. He’ll keep his mouth shut because I have all the evidence to put him away. I keep in mind he said that after the altercation. And I said I have a swollen side of my head so scratches versus swelling from a punch no discussion.
Though my mom separated the two of us before I was able to push him over the railing. 
I absolutely lashed out at my mom screaming at her that this was all her fault for sabotaging my apartment placement just like I predicted she was going to. 
And I ended up moving in with my grandparents for a couple months before I moved back just a few weeks ago to live back with my mom and stepfather, and for now things have quieted back down. 
Beyond the nightmare with my family, my mind has been locked onto a parallel set of catastrophic predictions regarding my professional and personal life and they are coming true with the same brutal precision. I predicted that no matter how qualified I am, every single job I apply for will end in perpetual rejection. I also predicted that I am destined to be completely and permanently single, a prediction backed by a lifetime of isolation.
Despite being actively on over 10 different dating platforms including numerous specialized autism Facebook dating groups, LGBT groups, and spaces specifically for alternative, queer, and disabled individuals I face a total wall of silence. When others post, they get flooded with interactions. When I share my real achievements, my talent, my status as an aspiring broadcast meteorologist with a university degree, I get absolutely zero responses. I am completely invisible in the spaces that are supposed to be safe.

And here’s a thing of all the negative predictions. I’ve made especially negative predictions that I wrote to myself on Facebook and I wrote hundreds of them nearly and I mean nearly every single prediction that I wrote on Facebook between September 2019 and just a few months ago came true only four out of those hundreds were wrong but the most major predictions that came true specifically the one that changed my life the most was the one that came through 100% verbatim which was about me being placed in the 24 hour supervised IRA and how I will be treated when I got home something I was predicting for two years nonstop while at the Special ed school, my mom doing exactly what I predicted on Facebook again and getting me removed from that apartment even after I was accepted in March, in May 1 week before the incident with my stepfather. 

And I also made a prediction on YouTube that was private, and that I was going to upload when it verified, and when it did exactly the way I predicted it how I will be having a broadcasting degree, but no job at all in that industry for at least several months was what I was gonna publish the video and I did, but I made it unlisted and that I will make it public at least once a year or two passes so in 2028. 

I have applied in the past week to 36 broadcasting jobs and production related jobs mostly in the broadcasting industry nearly all internships. I even got an email from a financial tech company regarding a video production internship to make videos for the company and they just wanted a simple video to showcase my production skills, but I decided to completely go above and beyond and completely blow their socks off just to have a slightly tiny teeny weenies better chance of getting the job because of how bad luck my luck is which means I have to do so much more work just to get a slightly better chance of getting the result for 1000 times the effort.

So I made a 15 second ad for the company instead of simply just a video about myself or just a random compilation of videos. 

And out of those 36 application, that’s the only place that reached out to me and asked me to do that before they can proceed with the internship, and I still am predicting that they will completely reject me and that I’ve never been wrong thus far about such major predictions. And also, I met a non-binary femme presenting person who I feel essentially is my soulmate due to how much we have in common how and how I’ve always imagined someone like that coming into my life. 

I’ve been searching for someone anyone to give me a chance and just one week after I meet a rabbi who told me that according to my Neshama that’s the longest time I have always believed that I will be perpetually single due to the perpetual rejection. I have always endured. 

However, when I noticed some inconsistencies like how despite giving me their Instagram and phone number they never added me back on Instagram and still did not accept my follow request, which is what I secretly predicted would happen. 

Even though we hit it off, and they possibly greenlight me as I was gothic femme presenting, and when I ask them after they told me their type who they were not attracted to, they told me men who are too straight, and I was quite the opposite non-binary and trans feminine, which is a very good sign. 

But I felt they were going to reject me for different reason, because I am autistic/neurodivergent. 

Autistic people face with college degree specifically an 85% employment/unemployment rate. 

And the relationship rate for Neurotypical men is 82% and for women it’s 79% due to 3% of women referring to be single compared to men. 

However, for high functioning, college educated autistic men and women, the relationship rate is 50 to 60% for autistic women with college degrees, well for autistic men with college degree. It’s in abysmal 10%. 

Part 2

Again they told me that was not going to happen and they referred me back to the guidance counselor who tried to reassure me time and time and time again and during the discharge meeting, everyone agreed, including my parents about the supportive housing, and they even admitted that “they were wrong” for how they confiscating my video games whenever I came home for vacation. 

They said that they realized that video games are actually good for people on the spectrum, which was the opposite of what they consistently claim the fact, the reason they always confiscating my video games was because of the ableist assumption that because I’m autistic, I would be addicted and therefore did not allow me to play at all not even for 10 minutes. 

and while I did feel some hope I told the director of adult transition when my parents were out of ear shot that they’re just saying that at the moment they come home they’re not only gonna let me play video games, but they’re gonna give me a whole list of chores to do and will be putting me the most controlling environment possible even though the meeting said that was not gonna happen, but I wasn’t buying any of it. 

The drive home was uneventful and I asked him how I did during the meeting and they said I did very well that I was very respectful and active like a mature adult. 

This caused me to want to lower my guard, but I was still on edge about what I thought it was gonna happen when we arrived home. 

We arrived home after 4 hour drive on the interstate from the special ed school to our home in a big city. 

But when I arrived home, what happened was exactly how I expected things to unfold. 

While we were unpacking from the car and I was helping them unload my stuff when I grabbed the box containing my video games as well as other stuff that was non-video game related they took the box away from me and they said that I will not be taking that inside, and that was gonna be locked in the garage and when I reminded them about what happened during the meeting, they said “they changed their minds.” 

And I asked them what about what they said about how they were wrong about video games and they said that they just said that because that’s what I wanted to hear and they wanted to hear. 

And I got very defensive and accused them of being horrible and that I knew this was going to happen and they said that I brought this on myself for being so negative all the time, and that video games are unhealthy, and I said they’re only taking it away because it’s the one thing that makes me happy and that they hate me for being autistic which only made them angrier for calling them out for their ableism, and they even used the fact that I was accusing them rightfully of ableism to say that I’m so obsessed with video games that I’m “falsely accusing them” of discriminating against me and I said I’m not falsely accusing them that they are discriminating against me, and I started raising my voice at them calling them “autism discriminators and “autism haters” as the word “ableist” was that in my vocabulary yet. 

And I even printed out articles completely contradicting their view on video games and autism and they said my mom said look how obsessed you are you’re wasting ink just to prove your obsession.

Like I predicted catastrophically for over two years The second I got home, my parents locked my possessions in the basement nonstop housework with no rewards. No allowance, not being allowed to leave the house while everyone was either at work regarding my parents or at school regarding my younger siblings. 

And on top of the video games on the same day we arrived. My mom told me that she decided that I was indeed going to go to a group home with 24 hours supervision not supportive housing like was originally planned and I became even more explosive, and I started cussing out my mom and calling her a liar a Backstabber, and proved how I’m always right and how she is completely ruining my life and how I will never forgive her and that if I ever managed to become independent, I will never speak or talk to her again and that she will be officially dead to me, and I even threaten to self harm if she indeed puts me in such a place and I said the only way I will self harm is if she puts me in a place with 24 hour supervision and I said if you want me to self harm, then you will do that. 

My mom immediately tried to calm me down and said let me finish. She told me that if I demonstrate how independent I am by going to shower, going to sleep on time without being told and general hygiene again without being told, then she will let me live and support supportive housing. 

I countered and said I swear to God because I’m so unlucky even if I do all that and other things you ask for and keep on adding onto that (essentially accusing her of moving the goalpost fallacy before she even did it because I knew her so well) she would still find a reason to put me in the most restrictive environment possible because she hates me for being autistic and that I have the potential to be more successful than her, even though she has nothing wrong with her and that she wants to prevent me from outshining her. 

Again she tried to reassure me that I was wrong and I asked her could I can I cook my own meals she said no I asked her can I have spare keys to the house? She told me no I said so. Where will I be while everyone’s at work or school she said you’ll be home waiting for us and I said there you go you’re not trying to teach me how to be independent you’re just keeping me here until you find a place to stuff me with supervision so I can’t be independent. 

I essentially trapped her and made herself contradict herself and she said no I won’t let you cook because you’ll make a mess and I won’t give you keys because you’ll lose them because you’re autistic. And I said again proof you’re discriminating against me and she said you haven’t demonstrated that you’re independent enough I said what about what the school said he said the school doesn’t know you so well like I do. I said I’ve been living there for the past six years, she said yeah well I’m your mother I know more. I know you for 20 years. They only know you for six years. 

I said from when I was 15 through my birthday last week, I was living here at the school and that I haven’t lived with you since I was 13 so yeah you don’t know me at all and don’t assume that you do at all. 

True to my word I did my hygiene perfectly. I brushed my teeth, kept my room clean, and my stepfather made things much much more difficult for me.

Every morning I had to completely fold my bed away in my own bedroom and turn it back into a sofa even though it was in my bedroom. I asked him if I could just make the bed and he said no he said that I need to learn discipline and I asked him. Why is he making things so much more difficult for me when I already have a Disability and he said that this is to teach me how to be independent. 

And he also gave me a large list of chores to do every morning. I had to clean up the table after breakfast, even though I did not usually eat breakfast. I almost always skipped breakfast because I had a very bad metabolism and still do. 

And I had to wash all of the dishes after cleaning up the table. 

And then I had to mop, sweep and vacuum every floor and every room in the house, including the basement with the exception of only being the garage. 

And even though I would spend from 10 AM until 2 PM cleaning the house from top to bottom, my stepfather would come home yelling and screaming, and even cursing at me falsely accusing me of not doing anything around the house and when I showed him the proof that I cleaned by showing him the dirty mop, water, and the wet vac full of water and concentrated carpet, dust, and other vacuuming, which I spilled out in the drain in front of him that was perfectly clean in the morning. He got even angrier because I completely destroyed his reasoning for being upset at me, and now he was upset at me for rubbing it in his face that he was wrong. All I wanted was him to treat me like a human human being, and not like a personal toxic trashcan like he always does do this every day, and this led to an altercation recently, but I will get into that down a bit more. 

True to my prediction my mom was looking for a group homes for the most high needs individuals mostly in not so safe neighborhoods, and of course me and my mom declined for the same reason that this place was unsafe, but my main reason was because it was 24 hours of provision not because they were four people living there. No I just did not want to have 24 hour supervision, which was the worst case scenario than I predicted specifically 24 hours of provision in an apartment by myself, which is what I kind of was predicting. 

Eventually, we found an agency that said they also did supportive housing. We had the intake meeting in early January 2013. During the meeting, it looked like I might have supportive housing, but my mom wanted me to have overnight staff, even though I really did not. She knew that the only way to get me to have 24 hour supervision was for me to have overnight staff, and she gaslit everyone at the meeting about why I needed 24 hours supervision. 

At the 2013 intake meeting for what was supposed to be supportive housing, my mother lied to the agency that worked with the state, though it was a private agency not a state one. 

She claimed that I had a severe obsession with fire and couldn't be left alone, despite routinely being left alone for 8 hours a day to act as an unpaid servant. When I exposed the abuse, she openly threatened to walk out and make my life worse. I yelled for her to speak in English, translated her threat word-for-word to the staff, and kept exposing them. The agency still sided with her. They promised me the 24-hour overnight supervision was a temporary six-month transition phase. I predicted it would last longer than the special ed school itself. I was right: that forced lockdown environment 
dragged on for an agonizing nine years and six months in a highly restrictive Individualized Residential Alternative (IRA).

I fought hard for my education, clearing local high school exams in August break to secure a full Regents diploma to prove my competence before the discharge, but I still said that, despite all of this, I was gonna be placed in the most controlling environment possible. 

When a professional advisor and mentor 
recommended an out-of-state broadcast meteorology program, my mother forced me down a destructive counter-proposal to exhaust my Pell Grant. A 7-year track took me 13 years, but my 2e brain pushed through and I earned my broadcasting degree, and I’m not working on getting one in Meteorology. 

History repeated itself just two months ago when I was approved for an independent apartment at KAY's place. This was my chance to escape and begin my transition to female. Knowing my family, I deliberately wrote a prediction on Facebook Messenger on March 9th stating the apartment would be swept from right under me before move-in, specifically wanting a time-stamped paper trail for validation. Sure enough, my mother illegally intervened behind my back to tell a new coordinator I wasn't interested, and they gave my apartment away. Trapped under their roof, my stepfather physically assaulted me on May 16th after discovering I left a friend on an active phone call to witness his verbal abuse. When he punched me in the temple, my survival instinct took over and I physically defended myself, landing defensive wounds on his face to prove I will never tolerate his violence again. 

The Employment Track Record

This exact same 100% accuracy cycle is hitting my career right now. I have applied to 36 qualified jobs in the broadcasting industry, mostly internships all in my local area, even though I do not wanna live here because it’s too competitive and way too impossible to get into specially for talent, which I want to be specifically Meteorology, but that’s of course a few years down the line but from now I want to work at a station that does not require a Meteorology degree forecast the weather, as I have a lot of experience doing so including understanding in complex weather modeling and reading Skew-T plots and full understanding of how Doppler radar works. I use the QT plot for forecasting weather events such as severe weather, but also winter weather, such as where the warm layer will set up during a snowstorm to analyze whether the precipitation will be snow, sleet or freezing rain or just plain rain by looking at the temperature profile, or for severe weather, the amount of LFC to determine the cap as well as the dewpoint at temperature to determine if the condition conditions are favorable for the development of severe weather later in the day based on the sounding both in the morning and later during the day. 

Everyone around me told me I am over-applying and that something will break through, but my hyper-vigilant brain predicts not a single place will hire me. Recently, one of those 36 places reached out to me with an email. Even though they didn't ask me to do it, I decided to go above and beyond to increase my odds, so I took a massive amount of time to create and edit a tailored spec advertisement video for their company. I used Runway AI to generate the video elements and carefully overlaid text to make it look like a highly polished, professional ad. Despite the immense effort and the high quality of the edit, my past track record tells me they still will not hire me. My brain has never been allowed to be wrong.

The Dating Track Record: The 2015 Prediction
My pattern recognition regarding perpetual relationship rejection has been equally flawless, dating back over a decade. In January 2015, when I was 23 and attending community college, a girl asked me out on a date. I accepted with dignity, thanked her, and made plans, but I immediately told my morning staff member, the one who always gave me a hard time for my negativity, that she was going to lead me on and cancel last minute. He told me to wait and see before jumping to conclusions. The date was set for Saturday, January 17th. Following the staff's advice to not seem pushy or desperate, I didn't message her all week until Saturday morning. 

I knew the structural hurdles. She was majoring in special ed because she had an autistic brother, and I had shared that I was on the spectrum too after she told me about her brother. And I also confided in her that I’m probably never gonna be in a relationship because I’m autistic before she asked me out. 

This is why I predicted she was testing my gullibility as an experiment or just leading me on, when she asked me out because even then, I was hyper-aware of the extreme rejection rates autistic people face. 

When she had hinted she "might have work," which I knew was a cover. She told me if I didn't hear from her by noon on Saturday l, it meant she didn't have work. 

On Saturday, we were supposed to meet at 3:00 PM for a 3:30 PM movie. I left my house at 2:30 PM to take the subway, “refusing to wait around like an idiot.” What I told this Saturday staff. 

Just as I stepped outside at 3:05 PM, she called. I looked at the weekend staff and said, "She is calling to cancel." I picked up, and she gave a generic excuse about work. I didn't get mad because my brain had fully expected it. The exact same cancellation happened the next week, and the week after that.

On the second-to-last day of winter classes, I asked her why she canceled three times in a row and admitted I had predicted it that she was gonna cancel me the first time the second and the third which hurt her feelings, at least that’s it is what she said, and I think she was lying about that as well and was only saying she was hurt because she realized I was completely right about her. 

She finally admitted that she still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her three times, and wanted to give him a fourth chance because she was loyal. 

It hurt deeply that she would choose a serial cheater over someone on the spectrum who had never even been in a relationship. I looked at her and said: "Why would you be willing to give someone like him a chance, but not me? This is proof that I am never going to be in a relationship.

She told me that I will be in a relationship and that I’ll be in one by the end of the year because I’m such a nice person. I kind of laughed at her at her fake reassurance and said. 

I will never be in a relationship until I'm at least 30, and if I ever do, it will be after 30 and it will be a very brief and unstable relationship."

And I did everything possible to try to stop that prediction from happening as even before I made that prediction I was active on dating sites. I was on Harmony and an autism dating site at the time called autism date.

And around 2015 I started using Ok cupid which I’ve been using for the last 11 years but just around the pandemic just before the pandemic I was on many dating sites at least eight in 2019.

The 2023 Fulfillment and Recent Expansions
That exact prediction, made at age 23, was fulfilled to the letter. 

Despite putting myself out there on over 15 dating platforms, including Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble, Jswipe, FetLife, eHarmony, Autism Date, and Amata, along with many Facebook dating groups, mostly for autistic people, I remained completely single until 2023, when I was 31. 

By that point, I had completely erased any standards, believing the only way a masculine-presenting trans identifying autistic person could find anyone was to date the most overlooked people who only accepted me because they had no other choices.

I met someone on Hiki on New Year’s Day 2023 and I was home because I had Covid and did not spend New Year’s as my family not that I wanted to anyway, and I spent it in my apartment by myself with my staff while I was self isolating in my room. 

And the craziest thing is that my symptoms started while I was working on Christmas Eve. They were purely cold like symptoms, but when I took a Covid test, it was positive in fact very positive. It was the most positive test I ever had. The immediate test was much more positive than the first case of Covid that I had six months earlier in June 2022, which was the omicron variant, but it was still a more severe version and it came with a high fever and a very bad cough and it may have not been omicron, but the one before even though omicron was the main variant in June 2022, it may have been the more severe version that came right before omicron but not Delta and I was on a plane coming from Florida of course where people really did not ask so I probably caught it from one of those people who did not give a crap about Covid, even though I usually masked because I was probably on the plane when I was eating, not wearing my mask.

The two of us immediately formed a very strong attachment bond. 

Within weeks, they said they wanted to marry me, but the relationship became an unstable, chaotic loop. Over the course of three months, they broke up with me, got back together, and blocked me repeatedly. 

We truly loved each other, but we realized we weren't the right fit. In the end, her parents, who were intelligent people themselves, said I was too high-functioning and influential on their daughter. They wanted her to find someone at her own level and told me I needed to find someone at my own level. I told them and my ex that I was never going to find anyone at my level, but her parents insisted I would, saying their daughter was way too low for me. We broke up, she blocked me again, and over the past few years we were just friends. [1, 2]
In November 2024, I met a girl on an autism Facebook dating group who lived overseas. I initially assumed it was a scammer because I had previously met someone who scammed me on that exact group. In fact, I was actually banned from that Facebook group for publicly calling out scammers. I had reverse-image searched a photo of a girl who commented on my post (not the one I dated) and exposed who the scammer was actually impersonating, and a day later the group banned me.

However, the girl I actually dated from that group was an American citizen born in the states but living in a Middle Eastern country. We were both hypersexual and into kink, so we were perfect for each other on that front. The relationship didn't work out due to a massive eight-hour time difference. When I was awake, she was asleep, and vice versa. Even though we had agreed-upon times to talk, she would normally be out with friends. I put in most of the effort, staying up late to call her when she woke up or waking up extra early, but she claimed I didn't make time for her. She was aware of my extreme negativity, and I spent the first couple of months constantly asking for reassurance because I was so afraid of a breakup. We broke up a few days after Valentine's Day, but we are currently friends. 

A few weeks ago in early July, I met someone at a queer poly social and we hit it off pretty fast.

We are both neurodivergent. I am AuDHD, and they have ADHD. We are both Jewish. We are both very politically progressive. We both have a very similar career path in the broadcasting and/or production Side. We both enjoy swimming hiking and rock climbing, though I never tried the latter, but I’ve always wanted to do it.

They are 29 and I was 34 when we met at the beginning of last month and I just turned 35 last week.

The event that we met at was a queer poly social.

During the event they gave me their Instagram though they never added me on Instagram after I added them, which is something I did expect either because they probably haven’t been on it in a while, but I did expect that they were never going to add me back on Instagram even though they did give me their Instagram.

We do, however, talk on the phone, but they must never respond to my messages and if they do very sparingly, usually several days later, sometimes even a week or more later, even though we hit it off. And the reason I’m not so upset is because I fully expected this outcome involving how they have little to no interest in me, even though at the event that they seemed very interested.

And to backtrack those 36 jobs I applied for, only one place reached out to me and asked me to make a video to showcase my production skills. I made an AI video made several attempts as I wanted to make the video as close to perfect as possible, and they did say AI was allowed, and then once the video was made, I then went into an editing application on my PC and I edited the video for about 20 to 30 minutes or text including coloring the text as well to make it look like a very well well-rounded ad featuring their product.

While I am trying to get a job working in the broadcasting industry, the one place I reached out to Me was a financial tech company known as RHO that caters to businesses.

I think that even that will be a rejection, hopefully not, but I believe that every job that I applied for which are mostly internships by the way, we all reject me, including the RHO internship.

I do not know why whenever I have a bad feeling about anything. It’s always right, but I really hope that things do turn around for me quickly, especially now that I have a bachelors degree.

My family's forced masculine presentation of me by not letting me transition acts as a permanent social penalty, and my 100% accurate track record tells me I am destined for perpetual isolation rejection.
How do other 2e individuals cope when your intelligence is completely spent on survival, and professionals try to label your accurate pattern recognition as "catastrophizing"?

I’m a 34-year-old on the high-functioning, twice-exceptional end of the autism (AuDHD) spectrum. Growing up with an analytical, gifted brain alongside a disability means professionals always loved to dismiss my pattern recognition as a cognitive distortion. During my final year at a special ed boarding school, my anxiety about being discharged back to an abusive, narcissistic and abusive family was so severe that they doubled my guidance counseling to twice a week. The counselor spent every session trying to convince me my fears were irrational, telling me I was "catastrophizing and awfulizing." The reality is that I had to waste a massive portion of my intelligence on pure survival, and my predictions came true with absolute precision—not just that a negative event would happen, but the exact mechanical way it would play out.

The Professional & Housing Sabotage Track Record
For two straight years before my school discharge, I predicted my parents would bypass the supportive housing plan that was made on the last day that I was at the school during the discharge meeting and force me into a 24 hour supervisor environment that will not be a group home with a place by myself, environment more controlling, and supervised than a group home. I told the staff that when I came home, my parents will not allow me to play video games and will confiscate them and that they were not going to be helping me to be independent but just using me like a unpaid servant and not giving me keys to the house or letting me go anywhere they said I was “catastrophic and awfulizing”

And they explained why my predictions were not gonna happen and why I was feeling the way I was and they said that it’s normal for anyone to fear transition but especially someone with autism. They explained that what I was going through was normal for someone on the spectrum. That people on the spectrum do not like change. Yeah well they were wrong. It wasn’t about “change” it was the fact that I was going from a supportive environment, where people actually cared about me to one where people were actively sabotaging me and treating me like an unpaid servant and being physically abusive and we’re extremely ableist. So yeah, there’s no way people like that will ever try to make me independent especially, and because I was very logic oriented I had every reason to make the worst possible conclusion as that was the most logical conclusion.

My logic was if they were still controlling and not letting you do anything around the house besides cleaning not even letting me cook my own food or go outside and not giving me spare keys. Are they really trying to make me be independent or just using me and conspiring to put me in another cage?

This is what I had consistently argued with the staff with for two years the year before did discharge it was starting to show up, but in my final year, especially in the last six months was when my anxiety really hit sky high.

They tried to tell me those high-care situations that I was envisioning was reserved only for dangerous and order for very high needs disabled individuals. They said that my parents never even suggested about putting in such a place that they want me to be in supportive housing that my parents even communicated to them and I said that they are saying what they want you guys to hear that I have personally been through how they treat me and that is not what they want for me.

I explained how my parents try to have me only get an IEP diploma, and how I decided that I was gonna get a full Regents diploma because I wanted to go to Work? four-year college and I get it with only minimal tutoring despite not going to a public school.

And they agreed I was a very very good self advocate, and that was the most ironic reason for why my parents sent me to that Special at school because I constantly called them out for their mistreatment when I was still living with them for their abuse for their escape coaching for every contradiction, and I constantly stood up for myself demanding that I’m treated fairly without being abused and for them that was completely unacceptable considering I was disabled due to how ableist they were.

During the discharge meeting, I was told that I was going be placed in supportive housing, but that during the week. I was going to be living with my parents, and I said that this is exactly what I was afraid of that this was gonna lead to the worst case scenario of where I was gonna be placed, not even in a group home button in an apartment or placed by myself for 24 hours supervision or a group home with the strictest control controls, or one where my family will have their rec control over the staff and will keep me from having the privileges that I enjoy here like being allowed to play video games when I have free time.

Part 2 will be in the next post.

I’m a 34-year-old on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, and I’m trying to figure out how to navigate the dating scene when my brain is essentially wired to expect total rejection. A few weeks ago, I went to a queer poly social and met a non-binary person who completely blew me away.

We hit it off instantly. We share the exact same religious and cultural background, we are both highly progressive, and we are both into production and media work. We talked for most of the night.
When I asked about their type, they said progressive and kind people. When I asked what wasn't their type, they said people who are too straight. I was wearing feminine clothing and go by she/her and they/them pronouns, so that felt like a massive green light. They even mentioned they have two partners right now but are looking for a long-term partner to have kids with. I told them I deeply want kids too, and we even aligned perfectly on how we want to raise a family down the line.

On paper, it feels like I met an absolute soulmate. But here is the problem. They are much more physically attractive than me. Even though we had this amazing connection, my brain immediately assumed there is no way someone like them would ever want to date me. Since the social, we exchanged contact info, but things haven't progressed online, and I perceive that the communication is fading out.

This situation is triggering a massive trauma response in me. I have dealt with a pattern of perpetual rejection for my entire life, and the terrifying part is that I have never been wrong about any of my catastrophic predictions. I have been proven right 100% of the time. I have a history of 14-plus years of systemic abuse and control from my family. When I was younger, my family institutionalized me in a special ed school to try and micromanage my adulthood. For two full years leading up to my discharge, I predicted that my parents were going to put me in the most controlling environment possible instead of the supportive housing the school planned. The staff told me I was just catastrophizing, but my prediction came true with absolute accuracy. Despite the school recommending supportive housing, my family bypassed standard group homes and forced me into a placement that was even more controlling: an apartment by myself with mandatory, restrictive 24-hour overnight supervision.

History repeated itself just two months ago with a housing program. I was finally approved for an independent apartment, but I predicted my mom would find a way to destroy it and I even tried to circumvent it by warning the place that my mom will try to sabotage it and to have no contact with her, however, there was a change of management and the new manager only several weeks after taking over talked to my mom one month after my approval and one month after my prediction that I made on the same day, on March 9, when I found out about my approval and after being on the waitlist for over nine months.

Sure enough, she illegally intervened behind my back, lied to the new coordinator, and got the apartment swept right out from under me before I could move in and I even wrote the prediction on Facebook messenger because I was so sure she was going to do this and I did this on purpose to build a case against my narcissistic mom and I’m currently in the process of doing just that.

This exact same hopelessness is bleeding into my professional life right now. I have a broadcasting degree and recently applied to 36 jobs in the broadcasting industry. Everyone around me told me I was over-applying, but the reality is that I am very qualified for all of the places I applied to, even though most of the applications were just for low-level internships. Despite my qualifications, I already bet that not even a single position will hire me either for actual jobs or any internships as well.

Because I have a 100% track record of being correct and my predictions about perpetual rejection and toxicity have always come true with absolute precision, my hyper-vigilant survival brain is now applying that same exact logic to my love life. I am completely terrified that this person is going to reject me because of my appearance and my autism, just like everyone else always has and just like my track record says will happen.

It feels incredibly heavy to sit here believing that even if a literal soulmate walks into my life, they still won’t date me. It makes me feel like I am destined to be single, lonely, and stuck around people who mistreat me for the rest of my life, and that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it because my predictions are never wrong.

Has anyone else on the spectrum or with severe family trauma dealt with this level of hopeless certainty in both your career and dating? How do you stop your brain from predicting 100% failure when reality has always proven your worst fears right?

TW: the stuff below will discuss a very triggering topics regarding ableism, discrimination, narcissistic behavior 
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I am a 34NB on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. Despite being highly independent and intelligent, my family has always treated me as completely incapable. 21 years ago, when I was in middle school, I was severely bullied physically. My domestic situation was just as bad. My stepfather was incredibly abusive, and my mother was a malignant narcissist.

Because of the severe bullying, and because my family wanted to stop me from calling out their toxic behavior, they decided to institutionalize me and place me in a special education school. I was 15 and suspected their true motive was to micromanage and control me into adulthood. I predicted catastrophically bad outcomes for my future based on how they treated me. I told my school exactly what would happen: that my family would block me from going to the college of my choice and force me into the most controlling environment possible to prevent me from becoming independent.

The Struggle for My Diploma:
Fast forward to age 20. I was finishing up at a specialized school for young adults with autism. The school initially put a local "IEP diploma" on my track against my wishes, which is what my mom wanted. I told them absolutely not—I needed a full high school diploma to pursue my dream of becoming a broadcast meteorologist and storm chaser. Thankfully, the school listened to me instead of my parents.

I told the school staff that once I graduated, my family would force me to live at home, attend a local college without the courses I needed, and place me in a highly restrictive environment. The staff told me I was just "catastrophizing" and being pessimistic. They claimed they saw how much my parents "loved and cared" about me. I argued that they didn't know them at all. My anxiety became so severe that my counseling was increased to twice a week. I tried desperately to convince my guidance counselor that my family was the problem, but she told me none of my fears would happen.

The Discharge and the Act:
During my discharge meeting, the plan was for me to transition into supportive housing (which has limited supervision), as I was one of the most independent students and a role model at the school. I told the counselor and the director of adult transition that my family was going to micromanage my life into oblivion. I predicted they would force me to do non-stop chores, ban video games, and swap my supportive housing for the most restrictive environment possible. The staff politely told me I was speaking "nonsense" and demonizing my family.

At the final discharge meeting, my parents put on a massive show. They admitted they were "wrong" in the past and promised to put me in the best, least-restrictive placement. I silently shook my head "no" to the director to signal I didn't trust them. When my parents were distracted, I cornered my counselor and director and told them, "Everything you just heard is them telling you exactly what you want to hear. Do not believe them."
On the 4-hour drive home, my parents praised me for not making a scene. When I asked if I could live on my own, they said absolutely. Hope started to creep in, but I suppressed it. I grey-rocked them and just said thank you.

The Reality (14 Years Ago):
The moment we got home, my predictions came true 100%. They immediately confiscated my video games and favorite belongings, locking them in the basement. They claimed that because I am autistic, I am "predisposed to video game obsession," even though I only played a couple of hours on weekends after doing chores. My mom then flatly stated she was putting me in a 24-hour supervised group home instead of independent housing.
I became resentful and nasty to my mom, forcing her to realize I saw right through her. I used deductive reasoning: if they loved me, they would support me; they did the exact opposite, proving they hated me.
My mom told me that to "prove" my independence, I had to handle my personal hygiene without reminders. I easily agreed. I told her I could also cook for myself, but she snapped, "No, I don't want you in the kitchen cooking." I called out her contradiction: "Do you want me to be independent or not?" When I asked for spare keys to the house, she refused, claiming I would lose them, even though I have never misplaced my things.

The Abuse and Meddling:
They would leave me home alone for 8 hours a day while they went to work and school, but locked me inside without keys so I couldn't leave. My stepfather gave me an exhausting list of daily chores. Every morning, instead of letting me make my bed, he forced me to fold the mattress back into a heavy sofa. I spent 3 to 4 hours every day (from 10 AM to 2 PM) sweeping, mopping, vacuuming every floor, and washing all the dishes. Yet, the moment he came home, he would scream, curse, dehumanize me, and accuse me of doing nothing. When I literally showed him the vacuum cleaner full of dirty water to prove I worked, he flew into a rage because I proved him wrong.

When I was finally approved for a supportive apartment, my mom meddled again. She went behind my back and requested 24-hour overnight staff support. This turned my independent apartment into an environment even more restrictive than a traditional group home.

when I met with my mentor, my mentor recommended an out-of-state program. In front of him, my mom talked down to me, claiming I couldn't do anything alone. The advisor openly told her that her counter-proposals would double my academic requirements, expire my Pell Grant, and force me to pay out-of-pocket. She literally took the exact detrimental path he warned her against, just to sabotage me.

At the time, I didn't have words like "narcissist," "flying monkeys," or "grey rocking" in my vocabulary, but I used every advanced word I had to show the school they were discriminatory and toxic. Because of my family's intense 14+ years of micromanaging and legal guardianship/limbo, it took me 13 years to get my college degree instead of the 5-7 years it should have taken. (Accounting for my learning disability) I am currently trapped in an expensive city with meager wages, trying desperately to achieve financial independence living in a very toxic environment.

And as for why I am living in that toxic environment instead of independently because when I went to school, I had to give up my IRA apartment, and my mom obviously an empty promise told me that when I graduate school, she’ll let me live on my own near my campus, which ended up being a complete lie, and she made me move back home to the current toxic environment that I am in right now.

I should’ve been smarter than to believe her. I don’t know why I always try to see the good in everyone and I hope that they’ve changed or actually give a damn about me.

AITA for holding my parents accountable and trying to force them to be better people by exposing their behavior to my special education school?
TL;DR: I (34NB) am autistic and highly independent. My abusive, narcissistic parents constantly micromanaged my life, sabotaged my college path, and forced me into restrictive, 24-hour supervised environments. Years ago, I accurately predicted their exact moves and tried desperately to warn my special education school staff. The staff brushed me off as "catastrophizing," while my parents gaslit everyone. AITA for trying to expose them?

Over the past seven days I have applied to approximately 35 positions, mainly internships in the New York City area. I just graduated from SUNY Oswego last semester.

Most of the applications have been today, with today alone I have applied to nearly 20 applications.

Only a few of the positions roughly 8 of the 35 are for jobs on Air while the rest is for jobs behind the scenes and internships.

What are the odds that I will get at least one interview out of 35 applications, granted, I tailored my cover letter to each application and even gave it the correct format to bypass ATS filters?

But keep in mind it is the New York City area did also apply for some applications in Boston as it’s a smaller Market.

I am also on the autism spectrum and suffered from a condition known as rejection sensitive dysphoria, which is why I feel like I have to apply to so many applications to increase the odds that I will get at least one position and I still feel like I’m not doing enough even though I spent the past 16 hours doing nothing but job applications and nearly all of yesterday evening as well. I still feel like it’s not enough.

I live in New York City and I want to move out, but unfortunately, my very controlling family is not letting me move out. They keep on telling me to just apply in New York City and I keep arguing with them that it does not matter if I apply to 10 jobs or 1000 jobs in New York City that I will never get hired in the city and in order to get a job in New York City, even an internship to do stuff behind the scenes, you need a crap ton of experience or come from a really prestigious college.

Over the past week, I’ve applied to several dozen jobs, including several internships and so far I’ve had absolutely zero responses, even for interviews.

And I was also applying for jobs outside of New York City and much smaller market and those two I have not heard back from.

I have fully expected that no matter what I do I will be perpetually rejected not just for jobs but for relationships as well, as has been the pattern the past 10 years.

Despite how overly pessimistic I’ve seen, I have never given up on applying as I’m doing this to prove that no matter how much work I put into it it is completely fruitless.

I am currently on about a dozen dating site and about a dozen of Facebook dating groups, including Facebook dating itself and I’ve had absolutely no luck whatsoever.

Despite always putting myself out there and writing some of the best resumes and cover letters which has been professionally made and removing any in all mentions of my autism, I still get perpetually rejected even though I have 16 years of volunteer broadcasting experience in 15 years of YouTube weather forecasting experience.

Why am I dealing with so much rejection more than others even though I’m putting into sometimes even three times the effort al to get nothing back in return?

And here as a sample of my cover letter.

“Dear Warner Bros. Discovery Recruiting Team,
I am writing to express my strong interest in the Broadcast Production and Studio Operations Internship opportunities with Warner Bros. Discovery in New York City. As a dedicated media producer and content creator with extensive experience in live multi-camera television environments, control room workflows, and long-term radio operations, I believe my versatile background makes me an ideal fit for your production team.

For over 15 years, I have managed the complete production cycle for my own digital platforms. This independent work required executing every phase of the creative pipeline, from initial content research and scriptwriting to advanced non-linear editing using Adobe Premiere and Camtasia Studios.

Through maintaining these channels, I have mastered audience engagement and developed a strict discipline for producing high-quality content on tight, self-imposed deadlines. 
Furthermore, I bring essential hands-on, fast-paced technical experience from my time volunteering at my college television station, WTOP 10 TV at SUNY Oswego.

Operating as a Studio Camera Operator in a live control room environment allowed me to sharpen my operational communication skills, executing precise camera framing, tracking, pans, and tilts based on live director cues. Whether handling studio pedestal equipment or managing floor safety, I understand the coordination required to build a seamless live broadcast.

My additional work delivering weekly, recorded scripts for the Boston-area radio station 95.9 WATD further reinforces my communication skills and deep understanding of broadcast delivery.
I recently earned my Bachelor of Arts in Broadcasting and Mass Communications from SUNY Oswego.

My academic training, combined with my extensive background in television studio tracking, digital video editing, and audio operations, has built the technical adaptability and professionalism necessary to support a major network crew.

Thank you for your time, consideration, and leadership in early talent development. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss how my multi-platform production background and technical drive can contribute to the operations at Warner Bros. Discovery.

Sincerely”

I am 34 years old and recently got a college degree in broadcasting. It’s taking me longer than normal because I initially wanted to just do Meteorology, but that was too difficult due to my learning disabilities even though I am self talk and understand Meteorology very well the issue was the bath of physics, though I was able to pass up to Calc three.

I sent them the email documenting my 15 years of volunteer broadcasting experience and my 14 years of YouTube experience doing the weather.

Here is what I wrote after I introduced myself.

My name is Andi, and I am reaching out to formally submit my application for the Meteorologist position posted on June 21 via the AAJA Career Center. I attempted to submit this through the portal, but wanted to follow up directly to ensure it reached your desk.

I am a high functioning autistic recent broadcasting graduate from SUNY Oswego with over 15 years of hands-on, dedicated volunteer experience forecasting and broadcasting severe weather as well as on TV for two semesters. My practical background includes delivering weekly live on-air forecasts for 95.9 WATD FM in Marshfield, alongside a long-standing severe weather YouTube channel where I host real-time tracking livestreams.
I bring a deep, self-taught and academically backed understanding of meteorological science. My technical core strengths include:

• Advanced Radar & Data Analysis: Expert competency with Doppler radar, dual-polarization signatures, and parsing real-time computer modeling data.

• Thermodynamic Analysis: Highly skilled at reading and applying Skew-T plots to accurately forecast both severe convective outbreaks and winter weather systems.

• On-Air Graphics Integration: Extensive experience operating professional television weather graphics systems during my time anchor-forecasting at SUNY Oswego.

I have attached my resume to this email for your review. I have also included a link to one of my live tracking broadcasts below.
This specific stream highlights an impromptu, rapid-response broadcast I initiated immediately following a work shift to provide vital, life-saving warning coverage as the destructive Barnsdall, Oklahoma tornado developed on May 6, 2024. Because it was an emergency field-broadcast, it is a raw screen-recording, but it highlights my ability to break down complex radar metrics under intense pressure to protect the public.

It has been a lifelong dream of mine to forecast the weather on TV, And I’ve made it into a lifelong passion, even when I was in grade school, despite all of the odds due to my condition and living in NYC. 

Live Stream Sample: https://www.youtube.com/live/F1ChKLcc7-Q?is=UNzqGVU-cAEzR2vH
Thank you for your time, consideration, and dedication to safety in broadcast meteorology. I look forward to the opportunity to discuss how my unique blend of broadcast education and 15 years of live forecasting passion can serve your team.

Attached below is my livestream of the Barnsdall May 6, 2024 tornado and my résumé. 
Best regards.

(What is the odds that they will hire me considering they do not require a bachelors degree Meteorology. I believe that because I put down that I’m autistic. They will automatically reject me without even giving me a chance and I’ve never been wrong before so I’m pretty sure that that’s gonna happen I really hope I’m wrong though.)

Hi everyone, my name is Andi! I am 34 years old, living in New York City, and I am looking for a serious, long-term relationship.

I recently graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in Communications and Broadcasting. I am currently looking for roles within the broadcasting industry here in NYC, though I am open to relocating to a less competitive market for the right opportunity.
I am a high-functioning individual on the autism spectrum.

Because navigating dating with autism can come with unique social hurdles, I haven't been in a relationship yet, but I am ready, open-minded, and excited to find the right partner.

When I set my mind to something, I dive in completely. I have successfully built a good-sized YouTube channel, and I’ve traveled overseas by myself several times. I am also a passionate storm chaser and an aspiring meteorologist! I love media production, exploring the world, and keeping an eye on the sky.

Ideally, I am looking for a woman who is communicative, supportive, and has her own passions. Distance isn't necessarily a dealbreaker since I am already considering a move for my career.
If any of this resonates with you, or if you want to swap travel stories and talk about the weather, please feel free to send me a message!

Tldr:

My life so far has been very stressful. When I went to school, I was severely bullied and had no friends at all and was completely utterly ostracized. In fact whenever I got bullied to the point where the bullies got physically violent, the bullies did not get in trouble I did even though I did not retaliate.

And I was also expecting this because I was autistic. And I accused the inclusion program director of punishing me for being autistic which only made her more nasty towards me and on several occasions, she even triggered the bullies into getting violent with me. I mean, yes she eventually lost her job, but it caused me such severe trauma that I developed complex PTSD as well as OCD.

My domestic situation was not any better, and was just as bad if not worse.

Wife at home there was a lot of ableism and abuse, mostly mental and emotional, but physical as well.

After a particularly nasty incident involving and stepfather when I was 13, I moved in with my grandparents and lived there for two years until 2006 when I was going to middle school when the severe bullying occurred. And when I lived there was my grandparents I had more incidents involving my uncle who also was abusive.

Long story short, I went to the special ed school where I spent six years. The school was for students in young adult adults up to the age of 22 and it’s some cases 21 with severe autism.

It turned out the reason I was sent. There was not because of my OCD, but because my parents and family did not want me to be independent and I found this out because well I got really good grades in middle school.

I found this out because of my high intellect, the school told me when I expressed my desire to become a broadcast meteorologist that my family does not want me to get a high school diploma, but to get an IEP diploma with which means I could not go to college, even Community college.

I said absolutely not that I did not come here all this way for nothing, but if that’s what my family wanted, then I shouldn’t go to school at all. They agreed with me and said they will try to help me get a local diploma because I could only go to community college with a local diploma. My parents agreed to that but I said no I wanna go to a four-year college so I can get a bachelor degree and they said that I need to get a full diploma and I said that’s what I want.

Long story short I got my high school diploma and I was supposed to be going to Mississippi State university undergraduate Admissions and of course I was right and they had me go to a community college in my area for the first two months. I refused to register for classes there I said if if you won’t let me go to the school of my choice, then I won’t register for any classes at all that I will not allow you guys to control my life.

They told me that if I graduate and I get good grades, they will allow me to go to Mississippi State and just like I was right about them, forcing me to live in a group home with 24 hours of provision when I left the Special at school that I catastrophically predicted for over two years nonstop I predicted that they were not only not going to let me go to Mississippi State, but they were gonna force me to go to a local college but still that’s pretty far away and that they will make me commute all the way there and not let me live on campus or near the school because of how toxic they are.

And of course that happened to, even though my college was 70 miles away, they forced me to commute not using a car but public transit which I also predicted would happen. Even though they told me that they were gonna find me on campus housing I was so sure that they were gonna try to screw me over like they always did that. I wrote a prediction publicly on Facebook that my family was going to force me to commute three hours in each direction which would meant. I would have to get up at 3 AM just to make it for my 8 AM class. As the first train was at 4:40 AM.

And of course that’s exactly what happened after they made me take down the post two months before I started class.

It was only when I began publicly embarrassing my toxic family online.

And in 2023 I moved to Iowa as a huge FU to my narcissistic/toxic family what’s to escape their sphere of influence. Of course they made me move back with false pretenses, and when I came back.

Long story short I got my bachelors degree it took me 12 years instead of the four it was supposed to take if my family had only let me do what I wanted to do initially.

And of course, my family promised me that when I graduated for my current college, they were gonna let me live away, but no, I predicted they were gonna make me move back into their toxic house and of course I always ended up being right and I was living with them for the past year since I graduated and of course, at night they forced me to give them my phone and a month and a half ago. I had another nasty incident involving my stepfather as he punched me after I talked back to him, and of course, I retaliated and I’m once again living with my grandparents.

But as for online dating, I started online dating 14 years ago, which is much earlier than most people start online dating and I did this because I was worried that because I’m on the autism spectrum and because of how I was treated for my entire life, I figured that if I wait until my late 20s early early 30s I was never gonna find anyone as I was going to be “too late.” and I still thought it was not gonna be enough as I said that it was just too slightly increased the odds of me getting into a relationship, but I knew it was not going to be the solution so of course I asked female friends, joined autism, Facebook dating groups. Ask my family to find people for me, though the latter I didn’t really trust.

But of course, despite pulling out the stops just like I feared it was not enough. And I also fear that because I’m autistic and I live in New York City I have zero chance of finding a broadcasting job. And so far for the past year, despite applying to so many locations, including the lowest level positions, someone don’t even require a bachelors degree or any experience I was universally rejected for all of those jobs just like I told my family was gonna happen and I said this will continue to happen as long as I live in New York City and that if I want to find a successful job or a relationship, I need to leave this hellhole of a city.

I want to be a Storm Chaser but my family said they won’t let me do that and yet I wanna do this not really to make money but as a hobby though I could make a career out of it like some people do, but my family has always stood in my way, and not only that, but I have to put up with their toxicity constantly.

This is why I want to find a relationship not only so I can get away from my family but so I don’t have to live in a toxic environment.

I know some of you are probably thinking why don’t I just move out. Well I am currently disabled and I’m not talking about autism i’m talking about physical. I’ve been struggling with severe knee and ankle pain due to carrying heavy packages and being overweight due to a metabolic disorder and I can’t work that much and I’ve been struggling finding employment elsewhere and New York City is so unfordable that even living with roommates is un affordable for me as rent with roommates is no less than 1200 a month, in a studio in a crappy neighborhood is 1800 and up.

Every catastrophic prediction I’ve ever made has so far come true, and this has been happening for years, no matter what I do to try to stop the outcome I fear from happening.

For instance, my family said that when I graduate, they will let me live in upstate New York close to where I went to school which is very affordable, but I knew they were lying, and I only returned back to New York because I wanted to graduate and I’m currently trying to find my own apartment in New York not in the city, but Upstate or rent is affordable. The only issue is I don’t have a lot of money.

Because I shared my life has never been my autism. My autism is part of who I am, but it does not define me but what define me my whole life has always been my family and how other people treat me for being different. This is why I hate ableism so much, and why I refuse to associate myself with people like my family.

And I always also expect rejection at every corner, which is why I still haven’t found myself anyone for the last 14 years because I don’t vent to people that I barely know I’m like I’m doing here, but I’m actually pretty funny pretty laid-back and a fierce self advocate.

If I always stand up for my rights, always advocate for myself and sociable why I always get rejected as soon as someone finds out I’m autistic.

I believe it’s because of the fact that I’m biologically male and on the spectrum.

I realize that both men and women who Neurotypical have about the same dating rates between 75 and 85% that changes significantly for high functioning neurodivergent men,

The rate drops to 10% for neurodivergent men or masculine presenting neurodivergent people.

While the rate is still lower for neurodivergent women closer to 50% it is far far lower for neurodivergent men.

For instance, neurotypical men do find it harder with online dating but they usually find people in real world dating easily, especially going to bars.

But for neurodivergent men, it’s even harder with online dating, and in person dating is nearly impossible hence the 10% rate.

And there’s also a lot of rejection of autistic men by women. Prime example is this Reddit post from several years back.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/g3zzju/i\_broke\_up\_with\_my\_boyfriend\_because\_he\_hid\_his/

This is mostly a vent, but I have a big question to ask, I want to ask is it a red flag? The fact that I am 34 and I’ve never been in a long-term relationship because of perpetual rejection despite being on the spectrum?

Tldr:

My life so far has been very stressful. When I went to school, I was severely bullied and had no friends at all and was completely utterly ostracized. In fact whenever I got bullied to the point where the bullies got physically violent, the bullies did not get in trouble I did even though I did not retaliate.

And I was also expecting this because I was autistic. And I accused the inclusion program director of punishing me for being autistic which only made her more nasty towards me and on several occasions, she even triggered the bullies into getting violent with me. I mean, yes she eventually lost her job, but it caused me such severe trauma that I developed complex PTSD as well as OCD.

My domestic situation was not any better, and was just as bad if not worse.

Wife at home there was a lot of ableism and abuse, mostly mental and emotional, but physical as well.

After a particularly nasty incident involving and stepfather when I was 13, I moved in with my grandparents and lived there for two years until 2006 when I was going to middle school when the severe bullying occurred. And when I lived there was my grandparents I had more incidents involving my uncle who also was abusive.

Long story short, I went to the special ed school where I spent six years. The school was for students in young adult adults up to the age of 22 and it’s some cases 21 with severe autism.

It turned out the reason I was sent. There was not because of my OCD, but because my parents and family did not want me to be independent and I found this out because well I got really good grades in middle school.

I found this out because of my high intellect, the school told me when I expressed my desire to become a broadcast meteorologist that my family does not want me to get a high school diploma, but to get an IEP diploma with which means I could not go to college, even Community college.

I said absolutely not that I did not come here all this way for nothing, but if that’s what my family wanted, then I shouldn’t go to school at all. They agreed with me and said they will try to help me get a local diploma because I could only go to community college with a local diploma. My parents agreed to that but I said no I wanna go to a four-year college so I can get a bachelor degree and they said that I need to get a full diploma and I said that’s what I want.

Long story short I got my high school diploma and I was supposed to be going to Mississippi State university undergraduate Admissions and of course I was right and they had me go to a community college in my area for the first two months. I refused to register for classes there I said if if you won’t let me go to the school of my choice, then I won’t register for any classes at all that I will not allow you guys to control my life.

They told me that if I graduate and I get good grades, they will allow me to go to Mississippi State and just like I was right about them, forcing me to live in a group home with 24 hours of provision when I left the Special at school that I catastrophically predicted for over two years nonstop I predicted that they were not only not going to let me go to Mississippi State, but they were gonna force me to go to a local college but still that’s pretty far away and that they will make me commute all the way there and not let me live on campus or near the school because of how toxic they are.

And of course that happened to, even though my college was 70 miles away, they forced me to commute not using a car but public transit which I also predicted would happen. Even though they told me that they were gonna find me on campus housing I was so sure that they were gonna try to screw me over like they always did that. I wrote a prediction publicly on Facebook that my family was going to force me to commute three hours in each direction which would meant. I would have to get up at 3 AM just to make it for my 8 AM class. As the first train was at 4:40 AM.

And of course that’s exactly what happened after they made me take down the post two months before I started class.

It was only when I began publicly embarrassing my toxic family online.

And in 2023 I moved to Iowa as a huge FU to my narcissistic/toxic family what’s to escape their sphere of influence. Of course they made me move back with false pretenses, and when I came back.

Long story short I got my bachelors degree it took me 12 years instead of the four it was supposed to take if my family had only let me do what I wanted to do initially.

And of course, my family promised me that when I graduated for my current college, they were gonna let me live away, but no, I predicted they were gonna make me move back into their toxic house and of course I always ended up being right and I was living with them for the past year since I graduated and of course, at night they forced me to give them my phone and a month and a half ago. I had another nasty incident involving my stepfather as he punched me after I talked back to him, and of course, I retaliated and I’m once again living with my grandparents.

But as for online dating, I started online dating 14 years ago, which is much earlier than most people start online dating and I did this because I was worried that because I’m on the autism spectrum and because of how I was treated for my entire life, I figured that if I wait until my late 20s early early 30s I was never gonna find anyone as I was going to be “too late.” and I still thought it was not gonna be enough as I said that it was just too slightly increased the odds of me getting into a relationship, but I knew it was not going to be the solution so of course I asked female friends, joined autism, Facebook dating groups. Ask my family to find people for me, though the latter I didn’t really trust.

But of course, despite pulling out the stops just like I feared it was not enough. And I also fear that because I’m autistic and I live in New York City I have zero chance of finding a broadcasting job. And so far for the past year, despite applying to so many locations, including the lowest level positions, someone don’t even require a bachelors degree or any experience I was universally rejected for all of those jobs just like I told my family was gonna happen and I said this will continue to happen as long as I live in New York City and that if I want to find a successful job or a relationship, I need to leave this hellhole of a city.

I want to be a Storm Chaser but my family said they won’t let me do that and yet I wanna do this not really to make money but as a hobby though I could make a career out of it like some people do, but my family has always stood in my way, and not only that, but I have to put up with their toxicity constantly.

This is why I want to find a relationship not only so I can get away from my family but so I don’t have to live in a toxic environment.

I know some of you are probably thinking why don’t I just move out. Well I am currently disabled and I’m not talking about autism i’m talking about physical. I’ve been struggling with severe knee and ankle pain due to carrying heavy packages and being overweight due to a metabolic disorder and I can’t work that much and I’ve been struggling finding employment elsewhere and New York City is so unfordable that even living with roommates is un affordable for me as rent with roommates is no less than 1200 a month, in a studio in a crappy neighborhood is 1800 and up.

Every catastrophic prediction I’ve ever made has so far come true, and this has been happening for years, no matter what I do to try to stop the outcome I fear from happening.

For instance, my family said that when I graduate, they will let me live in upstate New York close to where I went to school which is very affordable, but I knew they were lying, and I only returned back to New York because I wanted to graduate and I’m currently trying to find my own apartment in New York not in the city, but Upstate or rent is affordable. The only issue is I don’t have a lot of money.

Because I shared my life has never been my autism. My autism is part of who I am, but it does not define me but what define me my whole life has always been my family and how other people treat me for being different. This is why I hate ableism so much, and why I refuse to associate myself with people like my family.

And I always also expect rejection at every corner, which is why I still haven’t found myself anyone for the last 14 years because I don’t vent to people that I barely know I’m like I’m doing here, but I’m actually pretty funny pretty laid-back and a fierce self advocate.

If I always stand up for my rights, always advocate for myself and sociable why I always get rejected as soon as someone finds out I’m autistic.

I believe it’s because of the fact that I’m biologically male and on the spectrum.

I realize that both men and women who Neurotypical have about the same dating rates between 75 and 85% that changes significantly for high functioning neurodivergent men,

The rate drops to 10% for neurodivergent men or masculine presenting neurodivergent people.

While the rate is still lower for neurodivergent women closer to 50% it is far far lower for neurodivergent men.

For instance, neurotypical men do find it harder with online dating but they usually find people in real world dating easily, especially going to bars.

But for neurodivergent men, it’s even harder with online dating, and in person dating is nearly impossible hence the 10% rate.

And there’s also a lot of rejection of autistic men by women. Prime example is this Reddit post from several years back.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/g3zzju/i_broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_because_he_hid_his/

This is mostly a vent, but I have a big question to ask, I want to ask is it a red flag? The fact that I am 34 and I’ve never been in a long-term relationship because of perpetual rejection despite being on the spectrum?

So I just got accepted to Amata yesterday and my Amata matchmaker introduced me to six women all of whom I immediately knew were way out of my league at least in my opinion. I said yes to all of them, but I expect that not a single one. Will say yes to me.

I asked my Amata to introduce for tomorrow, neurodivergent women, as I am myself neurodivergent. I believe that way I will slightly increase the odds of finding a serious partner as that’s what Amata does. They look for people who are serious and dating, and not simply wanting to hook up.

I still have my doubts about the app, but I’m definitely willing to give it a try as online dating for the last 14 years has been a complete failure for me

But hopefully by asking Amata to find neurodivergent women and being autistic myself, I might find the ideal partner that way.

I know that this is a pretty negative way of looking at things, but considering the statistics of how women get 30 likes while one guy might get one like for every 50 or 60 that it’s a pretty realistic way of looking at it especially considering I am on the autism spectrum and not the most attractive person either nor am I successful. I work a part-time job despite having a college degree because of how competitive the job market is in New York City.

So I just got accepted to Amata yesterday and my Amata matchmaker introduced me to six women all of whom I immediately knew were way out of my league at least in my opinion. I said yes to all of them, but I expect that not a single one. Will say yes to me.

I asked my Amada to introduce for tomorrow, neurodivergent women, as I am myself neurodivergent. I believe that way I will slightly increase the odds of finding a serious partner as that’s what Amy does. They look for people who are serious and dating, and not simply wanting to hook up.

I still have my doubts about the app, but I’m definitely willing to give it a try as online dating for the last 14 years has been a complete failure for me

But hopefully by asking Amara to find neurodivergent women and being autistic myself, I might find the ideal partner that way