u/Ok_Project419

One time when I was just 9 or 10 years old, I remember my mom screaming at me because she wanted me to wear short pants and short sleeves. She thought it was stylish. She is known as the fashionista in our town, and she heard whispers from people about how her kids were not well-dressed in comparison to her.

At that age, I was not comfortable with short pants and short-sleeved shirts. They always invited unnecessary comments and stares. I was thinking only about comfort.

She hurried me, and eventually I chose clothing I was comfortable wearing. I entered the car, the back of the car. My mom was driving, and she turned around to check my clothing, and she was giving me an unforgettable look. Her eyes widened, her face went stiff, and I could sense anger raging inside her.

That is only one of countless incidents.

Those multiple incidents make me feel self-conscious about my clothing. In the back of my mind, I always thought I had poor clothing style. It wasn't until three years ago that a close friend complimented my style, and then I started to have a healthier relationship with my clothing choices.

I was watching some parenting videos today, and this memory just popped up. That scary look still haunts me... and I really want to let go of that

and what's your plan for code red tomorrow?

Does anyone know if there is a photobooth for casual photo (not passport photo) in Delft? I'd even like it more if it is analog.

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I appreciate any info, thanks in advance!

I presented about my research plan to a group of colleague, and a guy with a totally different discipline from mine approached me during the break because he wanted to discuss about my research plan.

That discussion is him telling me I don't have an understanding about my topic, and he began telling things that didn't make sense, and "teaching" me about the very basic things of my topic, and when I told him I know about those things, he tried to convince me that I don't.

I eventually told him that I don't see the point he is trying to raise, and felt he was just mansplaining, and assuming that I don't know things.

I know it is just his insecurity trying to gain "control", but afterwards, I felt emotionally overwhelmed by that interaction.

Seven years ago, I was in the hospital with a weird cold. Today, some things brought back those feelings, so I wanted to share.

I was there for four days, and my mom kept taking pictures and videos of me in my hospital gown and posting them online. To the point that she did a livestreaming of me being wheeled on my wheelchair.

I felt so exposed and helpless, and I remember being really mad. I told her how I felt, and she got offended. She eventually told me she would stop recording, but she said that with a very unpleasant tone, that at that time I felt that I was the one who is too sensitive.

One of her friend was there with her, and I felt like she was judging me too.

I guess I haven't really gotten the validation and closure for that experience. Now I feel really beaten up remembering it.

Have you ever encountered a similar situation?

To provide some context, I am of mixed heritage, with predominantly East Asian features.

I am enrolled in an international class with students from all over the world. On several occasions, my white classmates called me by a name that was not mine, but by the name of another classmate who has oriental looks.

At first, after our first meeting, I thought these things were just honest mistakes. But after a year of seeing each other every day in class, and still getting it wrong, I'm starting to think there might not be enough effort put into remembering names of people who are East-asian-looking, and to be honest I feel disrespected.

This doesn't happen to classmates who are of other heritage by the way...

Some other context: everyone with east asian heritage in my class has english names.

A few months ago I was in a full-day workshop provided by my work and while waiting for the workshop to start, I queued for a coffee that is provided.

A bit of a context, I'm working abroad, and my company is full of internationals.

Someone in front of me in the queue turned to me, and the first thing they said was guessing my nationality. I was confused about the situation, and asked how they guessed it. They proceeded to tell me that my accent is definitely not from country X, so I should be from country Y.

Here's the thing. I look nothing like anyone from country X, and the only thing that country X and Y have in common is they are the most common source for domestic workers in the country of origin of the person who started that conversation.

I wasn't really incline to continue the conversation, because somehow I didn't feel comfortable. So I just put on a "business laugh" and continued enjoying the silence.

Meanwhile, the person who guessed my nationality continued talking to another person, and they suddenly said to me, "I feel like I should include you in the conversation."

Again, I felt confused and uncomfortable with that...

I still couldn't figure out exactly why I felt that...

What's in my mind now is...

Are they being friendly... or they're actually crossing some sort of boundary?

I'm not against AI, in fact I'm actively using it (for translation, grammar checking, brainstorming partner). However, my PhD coworker seems to think I'm not using them enough, and I somehow feel that they try to undermine my effort by saying AI could do the stuffs I'm doing.

"Oh you are looking for a framework for your research? why tho? you should subscribe to a pro version of LLM, they could find it for you"

"How do you use AI for your literature reading? oh only to explain a certain part that you don't understand? but AI could do the summary you are doing"

Well, I know AI could do them all...

But where in that is the fun and the thinking and the yay and the cry? 😀

Hey!

I'm planning to visit Maastricht next month, and was thinking to do a day trip to Drielandenpunt. I've tried looking for previous experience in this subreddit, but found none (perhaps I use the incorrect keywords, but anyway).

I was wondering if it is viable to go there using public transportation?

and do you have any suggestions on what to do there (besides the three point landmark)?

I will appreciate any leads. Thanks 😊