u/Ok_Thought6856

hi guys! i’m trying to understand this a little better and would love some perspective.

my dad is going to co-sign a car for me because i need some help. his credit score is around 800 and mine is about 540 with roughly $12k in debt from a couple personal loans and credit cards. my credit used to be good, but i got laid off about 2 years ago and i’ve been trying my hardest to get back on my feet since then.

my dad bought my current car for me about 10 years ago when i was 18, and it’s honestly been great to me. he bought it under his name, but now that we’re looking for another car, it would be under my name with him as the co-signer.

to note, i’ve never really asked my parents for financial help before. over the last 1 to 2 years, they’ve only helped me cover some car services because repairs and maintenance on my current car have gotten really expensive. other than that, i’ve always tried to handle things on my own.

i guess what i’m wondering is, as a parent, how would you feel knowing your child’s finances took a turn like this? i’ve been pretty open with my parents about everything and how hard i’ve been trying, even though things just haven’t been going my way lately. they’ve told me they want to help me, help me rebuild my credit, and don’t want to see me struggle.

i’m 28 now, and i’m really grateful for my parents and the fact that they’re willing to help me. i just can’t help but feel like i disappointed them because my finances and job situation went downhill. they’ve reassured me that i’m not a “bad” child and that they’re proud of me, and we’re actually really close and spend a lot of time together.

i know life happens, but i still feel guilty about needing their help. as a parent, how would you feel in this situation?

I'm 27 and currently live with my parents after being laid off from my job about a year ago. Moving back home has allowed me to get back on my feet, pay off debt, and save money while I work toward my financial goals.

I stay with my boyfriend pretty often because we work at the same place, and he only lives about 10 minutes from work. He's always been generous about letting me stay there. We split household responsibilities pretty evenly—I help with groceries, cooking, and cleaning, and he cooks and cleans too. Honestly, everything about him is great, and we have a healthy relationship.

Recently, we talked about me spending more time back at my parents' house. It wasn't because of anything he did. I'm just someone who really needs my own space to recharge and focus. I can't always be around people, even someone I love. I realized I was spending more money than I wanted to, wasn't taking the best care of myself, and really missed having my own routine. Before we started dating, I had a lot of personal goals, and I feel like I've put many of them on hold.

A few days ago, his car stopped working and had to be towed home. He's renting and isn't really in a financial position to replace it right now. I know he doesn't have close family or friends nearby that he can rely on, so I feel bad for him.

The problem is that I live about 25–30 minutes away from him. If I continue staying at my parents' house like we planned, I'll likely be driving to pick him up for work and taking him home afterward. I don't mind helping him, but I also feel like I've spent a lot of my life being the person who drives everyone around, and now I'm worried that I'll once again be putting my own goals, time, and finances on the back burner.

I really care about him, and he's been understanding when I've talked about wanting to focus on myself more. At the same time, I feel guilty for thinking that this might be too much for me long-term.

Am I being selfish for wanting to prioritize paying off my debt, saving money, and getting my own life back on track while also trying to support my boyfriend? How would you approach this?

I'm 27 and lately I've been feeling really lost.

I work full-time as a front desk/admin assistant. I show up every day, go to the gym, try to be productive, spend time with family, and generally try to make good decisions. I'm not sitting around doing nothing, which is why this feeling is so frustrating.

Financially, I'm struggling. I have about $15k in debt between personal loans and credit cards, and it feels like I'm constantly making payments without getting ahead. My car has 231k miles on it, so every time a light comes on, I wonder if this is the repair that's finally going to break me financially.

Career-wise, I feel stuck too. I know I don't want to stay where I am forever, but figuring out my next step feels overwhelming when I'm already stressed about money. I want to go to cosmetology school eventually, but right now I'm focused on getting my finances under control and making sure I have reliable transportation.

The weird part is that last year I met an amazing guy. He's supportive, patient, and genuinely a great person. Instead of just enjoying the relationship, I sometimes find myself thinking, "Why did someone so great come into my life when I feel like I have so little figured out?" I wish I could be the version of myself that has her career established, less debt, and more financial stability.

I know everyone has their own timeline, and I know social media isn't real life, but it's hard not to feel behind sometimes. It feels like every time I solve one problem, another one pops up.

Did anyone else go through a phase like this in their late 20s? Where you weren't lazy or unmotivated—you were genuinely trying—but life still felt heavy?

If you were in this position, what helped you get through it? Did things eventually start to click?

I'm 27 and still technically live with my parents. They don't mind at all, and I pay them $400 a month to help with utilities, groceries, and just because they're my parents. Even when I'm not home much, I still contribute because I appreciate everything they've done for me.

For the last 2–3 months, I've been spending most of my time at my boyfriend's place. He lives about 10 minutes from my job, while my commute from my parents' house is usually 25–30 minutes. He was actually the one who encouraged me to stay over more often because it makes life easier for both of us. He has made it very clear that he likes having me there and doesn't feel like I'm "living" there.

I still go back to my parents' house about every other week. They're happy, independent, and honestly just glad that I'm happy. I know not everyone has that kind of support system, and I feel really fortunate for it.

My question is: should I be helping my boyfriend with rent?

He's lived in his apartment for 3 years and has been paying his rent on his own long before we started dating. I don't contribute to rent, but I do buy groceries (which can add up), pack food for us, cook, pay for some meals out, and we use my car for most of our driving because his car isn't great for longer trips. I also cover all of my own car expenses, maintenance, insurance, gas, etc.

Part of me feels like I'm already contributing in other ways, but I'm curious how other people view situations like this. If you were in his position, would you expect rent help after a couple months of your partner staying over frequently? Or do groceries, cooking, and other shared expenses feel like a fair contribution?

Just looking for different perspectives.

I'm 27 years old and still live with my parents. I pay them $400/month in rent, and overall I have a really good relationship with them. They're loving, supportive, and have always provided me with a great life. They helped me get my car when I was 18, and I've been driving it ever since, so thankfully I don't have a car payment.

Earlier this year, I started dating an amazing guy. We've been together since January, work at the same company, and he's honestly my best friend. I stay at his place a lot since he's only 10 minutes from work, which saves me money on gas. He doesn't mind at all and has been incredibly supportive.

The thing I've been struggling with is my career and finances.

Back in December 2024, I was laid off from a job that I thought I loved. Looking back, it was almost a relief because I was constantly stressed and getting migraines. Since then, I've been working as a receptionist/administrative assistant. It's stable, but I don't make enough to comfortably get ahead financially, and I keep feeling like I should be doing more with my life.

I've always had an interest in hair. I cut my boyfriend's hair and my family's hair, and it's one of the few things I've genuinely enjoyed for years without complaining about it. But I'm scared to commit to something when I'm not 100% sure.

The other part is that I have about $15,000 in credit card and personal loan debt from mistakes I made when I was 21-23. I'm actively working on paying it down, but my parents don't know how much debt I actually have. They've offered to help me financially because they don't want me struggling, but I feel embarrassed telling them the full amount.

I think what's bothering me most is that my parents see me as the responsible "golden child." I've always worked, stayed out of major trouble, treated people well, and generally tried to do the right thing. My biggest issue has been financial decisions and feeling directionless career-wise.

I also want to add that my parents have always been incredibly supportive. For the most part, I've handled my own finances as an adult, but they've stepped in to help when I've had major car repairs that were beyond what I could afford or when I was involved in an accident. They still provide food, check in on me often, and genuinely care about my well-being. They're wonderful parents, which is part of why I feel so much guilt and embarrassment about my debt. I try to help them whenever I can, whether that's financially, around the house, or with anything they need. I don't take their support for granted, and I'm very grateful for everything they've done for me.

So I guess my question is:

If you were a parent and your adult child came to you with this situation, would you be disappointed in them? Or would you see it as a normal part of figuring out adulthood?