u/OktooDifficult8582

Broken isn't made of substance. You don't find it on a shelf. You can't take it home. You can't wear it as the most prevalent description of yourself.

Not a noun - no person place or thing, broken is a verb. An action, results of something changed. Often meant in negativity, misunderstood again the same.

Broken can be used to build foundations of character or strength or educating. It often has a bitter taste but should never leave you hating.

Broken doesn't lose value, the changes can be rare. Broken can be a wonderful thing creating truely 1 of 1 masterpiece quality , something you want to handle with care.

Sometimes Broken calls the man who tries to fix and mend. It's in their nature to use the tools to try and restore it from the bend.

A man as handy, knowing how to fix broken indeed.... Can sometimes be misguided, too focused on if he will succeed.

He should be able to reconcile alone that not everything broken needs a helping friend. It's not your place to remind him ,... Broken is perfect and beautiful exactly how it is, regardless of end.

One mystery unveiling, another coming to light.

Communications were lost before delivery. Sent along an old signal to a receiver in a space no longer accessible. Sometimes dead transmissions are absolutely dead and can not be received.

A package delivered to the wrong address becomes property of the new inhabitants. There is no way for the previous to return for its claim. No forwarding address available due to the departing parties affiliation. Many who seek them do not have good intentions. Many who seek them would be the end for sure.

There are new ways to communicate. Make sure transmissions are received. Absolutely nothing at all difficult about squirting the correct destination.

If there were information, instructions, answers, packages, data if any sorts that desired or even needed to be broadcast - because it's important -

Its also important to make sure it's being sent with destination in mind. And the timing or priority of delivery speed.

I've sat, quietly awaiting staring at 2 hour glasses running low on sand.

Both glasses mean an ending that's certain. One cold iron and steel no light anywhere in the tunnel.

The other all light, no shade. Either golden saving light made of true grace, for the unworthy and undeserving. The other mostly illuminated with revelation of combusted sulfur and pain.

Am somehow getting more confused and feel like I may be adding to it instead of helping in anyway.

Things are coming across as too generalized to explain or account for. Maybe thats just me being an infant to the world of accountability, but it doesn't make it any less true.

Did things change? Yes. Even the best relationships never stay as they were.

It's not deception or a lie for me to explain what I saw happening from my point of view.

It's not me twisting any story or reading any web ti have opinions or viewpoints that differ from yours.

As entitled to your opinion and memory's as you are about any circumstances or results, I have the same rights and entitlements for mine.

My goal has been to try to provide the other side of the story, or reference frame of mind to add clarity or mutual understanding for you/us.

If I can't do that, I'm sorry for the failure.

The "wrongs" I committed have been admitted and apologies been made. That doesn't make it ok or go away, but it's the only thing I have to offer from the current circumstances. You aren't seeing changed behavior as you speak of because there isnt and has been no presence for 6 full months.

Nothing I say will ever "show" you what you're asking about or bringing up.

I'm also not pointing fingers back or going into a realm of what you did to label or inventory or get written confession for any one or multitude of things. It's not productive and stirs the pain instead of settles it.

One of my main things, through the entire time we were together was about the assumptions. I understand that you do not have a body present to show you any new or learned actions. But it's still your responsibility to seek fact and truth and not make it up as you see fit ti describe what I'm doing or how I'm thinking, especially in the last 6 months.

The day you had me taken away was the day you lost the preview to make your own assumptions. To think you know what I think, how I feel, or if I was ever done and quitting is a bit short sighted and unfounded.

Again, happy to provide what I can. Will not provide reinforcement for things you both can not know and do not have correct.

You wanted truth. You've gotten nothing but that since I opened my mouth here. It's not my job for you to beijeve it or use it accordingly. Just to speak it as it is.

I know you do not want to break no contact.

I understand you are not coming back.

I am not asking for a conversation. I am not asking for an explanation. I am not asking you to apologize, confess anything, or tell me you still love me.

I just do not know how you are doing.

I do not know if you are safe.

I do not know if you are eating.

I do not know if you are suffering.

I do not even know if you are alive.

Message me anonymously if you have to. Make up a name if that makes it easier. I do not care about the fake backstory. I do not care if you pretend it is not you.

Just tell me you are okay.

Tell me not to worry.

Tell me you ate today.

Tell me you are not alone somewhere hurting.

Tell me you are breathing.

That is all.

You do not have to come back.

You do not have to explain why you left.

You do not have to reopen anything between us.

Just let me know the person I love is still somewhere in this world, alive enough to be okay.

Catching up on the mornings activities.... Accountability for breakfast. Best choked down with a side of rage filled adulterous ex,...

Feeling washes over me, without warning. Silent, soul crushing deep reaches every cell in my body.

What is going on,....

Oh.

I am. ENTIRELY too sober for this shit.

Remedy within reach. Carry on...

You see the flare?

🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️

And ^^^^^

If you want to talk, call.

If you want to write, text.

If you want a punching bag,

I still have a few rounds left in me.

What I want,... Is for you to realize that you control your happiness and I'm willing to help facilitate if that's what you need.

Love me, hate me, need me,. Run from me.

Ice said these words so many times.

"It's all gonna be ok".

I didn't abandon you. I left for you. (In hand cuffs)

The narrative that I'm unreachable and unbothered is... Less than accurate.

Didn't we talk about assuming? And finding out for yourself? Progress, not perfection.

And,.. it's all gonna be alright. 💔

It's you, yes? the woman that wouldnt take my last name?

Still asking to talk -

but,... Not strictly talking to me? Or, talking to both ... confusing to put it mildly. At any rate, I'll have my turn if you still want so that all parties can finally move in whatever direction.

I'm open to hearing, speaking,... I'm honestly not sure what it will require - but if you desire, whatever it is you desire, you've at least earned that much.

You'll need to reach out for something more private please. Account is limited and I can't just send whatever.

~Asshole