u/OldYellersLastHandy

It always makes me feel like a piece of shit, but on the really rough days - which today is already shaping up to be - I admit that I fantasize about bailing. In detail.

I‘d hop in the truck, drive up the interstate, pick up the little camper trailer I would have pre-ordered, and head west. I’d bounce around between Wyoming, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, California, Utah… I‘d hang out in crappy little off-season ski towns and beach resorts. Hike. Play guitar. Smoke pot. Hit on townies.

I would never do this. I’m not a piece of shit. I would miss my kids and my wife almost immediately. I’m a good dad. They deserve a good dad.

But I fantasize about it more than I probably should.

I’m a project manager and I make decent enough money, but my wife works too. She makes almost the same amount. Together, we provide a pretty solid life for our kids.

But I still feel shitty when we drop them off at daycare. I feel like other people are raising our kids. I wish my wife could work part time or not at all or we could hire a nanny. At least they could be at home. I‘m always looking for ways to make more money or move up, but the reality is that none of them would really materialize until after the kids are already in regular school and it becomes a moot point - at least as childcare is concerned.

I don‘t think my wife would want to necessarily be a SAHM, but I wish we had the option. My Dad put food on the table. We were never shuffled off to a child storage facility for 8 hours a day.

I know it’s the times we live in and whatnot, but yeah… It’s easy to look back and see which choices might have been better in hindsight.

My kids are 2 and 4.

I feel like I have adapted to pretty much every part of Dad life favorably, but I still mourn the loss of anything resembling a relaxing or even productive weekend.

Weekends feel like tiny wars between the little activities and messes and tantrums and chaos. I remember seeing an interview with George Harrison where he said that at the height of Beatlemania, the only time when no one was hassling him for one thing or another was when he was on the can. I feel that. I’m there now.

How old will they be when weekends become enjoyable?

With the news today that Texas will begin requiring kids to read parts of the Bible in public schools, we’re fucken done. We could probably swing private school, but that sort of neglects the larger issue which is that if it’s this today, what will it be tomorrow?

We currently live in Austin. We mostly like it aside from the heat. We make about $250k a year remote in tech jobs. Our kids are 2 and 4.

I like the outdoors. My wife likes access to amenities which is to say that we want to live in a proper city.

Friends, particularly former Texans, where to?

Not entirely out of the blue, our friends are getting divorced. We knew there were some issues, but I guess we didn’t realize the extent of them. They have 2 small kids that are friends with our kids, and they’ve been together since they were teenagers - over 20 years.

My wife is very good friends with her. I was the last to show up, but I’ve become pretty close to him.

I don’t know yet exactly what the final straw was, but I frankly can‘t stand her. She‘s a SAHM with a master’s degree who, as far as I can tell, pays people to do every single thing she needs done including nanny her kids. I have no idea what she does all day. I suspect she has a drinking problem… He earns a tremendous income in a very high stress role. My wife knows how I feel about her and says “I’m going to support my friends even when they need to get their shit together.” I understand that... up to a point.

I guess my question is: How do I support this guy and stay friends with him while we both know that there is basically no scenario where my wife doesn’t stay friends with his ex no matter what the details are? How do we explain this to our kids or do we just not? I don’t and sort of can‘t firmly take sides.

Any advice appreciated.

I used fast-setting Quikrete to set a mailbox post. 24 hours later, it’s just a tad tacky on top still. I mixed in the hole like the bag said.

I know this means that I used too much water, but I guess my question is: Does it matter?

I assume that it will someday dry out in the Texas sun. It feels solidly in there, and it doesn’t support any more weight than a mailbox.

All good?