u/Ordinary-Witness4298

My college does a poster sale once each term and it’s this week. I went on Tuesday to get posters for my two sisters (for reference I didn’t buy any). I had a free period so I went and took pictures and sent them to my sisters to see which ones they wanted. My younger sister told me which ones she wanted and I bought them. My older one wasn’t sure and was taking a long time to decide. I had class at that point so I left, and told her I’ll come back after my class to buy her posters. I helped her decide which to get and bought them. Today she had class and was on campus. She texted me around 11am to join her at the library but I told her I had back to back classes till 4. She said we should go home together then. At 4, I texted her and said I was in front of the train station to go home. She texted me that she’s at the poster sale. I join her there and she can’t decide whether to get a poster or not. Ultimately, she decided not to and tells me that she’s going to think about it and wants me to go to the poster sale again tomorrow to get her poster IF she even wants it (She doesn’t have class on Friday). Normally, I would be fine with this but the poster sale is on the other end of the campus from where I have my classes. It was annoying returning again on Tuesday bc she was indecisive and going there again today (which was not in our original plan) bc it’s far away from where I have my classes and doesn’t work with my schedule. I told her I can’t because I have classes on the other end of campus and have plans at 5. Which means i have to be home by 4, and it’s an hour commute home. I just told her plainly that she should get the poster she wants now bc i won’t be able to come again tomorrow because it doesn’t work for my schedule. She becomes upset upon hearing this but then passive aggressively says “That’ fine.” I poke at her because I can tell she’s mad and she says she’s disappointed and annoyed. She wants me to come to campus earlier to get her poster. We end up arguing over this and I was shocked by how inconsiderate she was. I told her that I already went there 2 times this week and we didn’t even plan to come here again today. She told me “you didn’t have to come” and that “you shouldn’t hold it over people’s heads when you do something for them.” I was so annoyed and told her to go home by herself and I would catch the next train. I was so tired after back to back classes and didn’t have the energy for arguing. Am I being unreasonable? I just told her plainly I can’t go, it doesn’t work for me or my schedule. I was already here 3 times this week. She had a free period earlier today and could’ve used that to go check out the posters but she wants me to change by schedule to accommodate her.

I would really appreciate your thoughts/opinions on this!!

As long as I can remember I have always been told I’m too sensitive by everyone in my family. My parents and siblings all say this, that small things trigger me to get angry and start arguments. My mom tells me that my siblings walk on eggshells around me and they don’t know how to talk to me. However, every time there’s an argument, it’s me who calls out the rude/ bad behaviour or attitude of theirs NOT the other way around. I don’t start problems with anyone but if I feel disrespected, I always feel the need to call it out right away causing my siblings to go in defence-mode rather than own up to their behaviour. They say it’s because they don’t want to feel like they owe me any apology, rather that they should come to that conclusion on their own and I shouldn’t expect that from them. I’m always surprised by this answer because if someone calls you out and you know what you did was rude/wrong, why can’t you admit it initially? Why do you need to prompted? Is this an ego thing? Because if someone came to me saying they were hurt by my actions, I never deflect that and say “that wasn’t my intention” or “I’m sorry you feel that way” I listen and apologize because I HATE making people feel bad. But none of my siblings ever react that way. They always initially defend their behaviour and get angry with me for confronting them then later give a half-asses apology to end the conversation. But always ends up making me feel more angry and frustrated than before because they belittle my feelings and call me dramatic and sensitive, This often leads me to say and do things I’m not proud of like once pushing my sister out of sheer anger and frustration.

Weirdly they always become more angry with me for calling out their behaviour as if they are the victim, making me feel like I’m the one who’s in the wrong. No matter what the situation is, I always end up being the one who ends up feeling bad.

I have no one in my life to talk to about this and I just feel SO lost. This has been my family dynamic for forever, and I need to know if I’m in the wrong with my actions, is there something I can do to avoid these situations? Any advice would be mean the world to me.

As long as I can remember I have always been told I’m too sensitive by everyone in my family. My parents and siblings all say this, that small things trigger me to get angry and start arguments. My mom tells me that my siblings walk on eggshells around me and they don’t know how to talk to me. However, every time there’s an argument, it’s me who calls out the rude/ bad behaviour or attitude of theirs NOT the other way around. I don’t start problems with anyone but if I feel disrespected, I always feel the need to call it out right away causing my siblings to go in defence-mode rather than own up to their behaviour. They say it’s because they don’t want to feel like they owe me any apology, rather that they should come to that conclusion on their own and I shouldn’t expect that from them. I’m always surprised by this answer because if someone calls you out and you know what you did was rude/wrong, why can’t you admit it initially? Why do you need to prompted? Is this an ego thing? Because if someone came to me saying they were hurt by my actions, I never deflect that and say “that wasn’t my intention” or “I’m sorry you feel that way” I listen and apologize because I HATE making people feel bad. But none of my siblings ever react that way. They always initially defend their behaviour and get angry with me for confronting them then later give a half-asses apology to end the conversation. But always ends up making me feel more angry and frustrated than before because they belittle my feelings and call me dramatic and sensitive, This often leads me to say and do things I’m not proud of like once pushing my sister out of sheer anger and frustration.

Weirdly they always become more angry with me for calling out their behaviour as if they are the victim, making me feel like I’m the one who’s in the wrong. No matter what the situation is, I always end up being the one who ends up feeling bad.

I have no one in my life to talk to about this and I just feel SO lost. This has been my family dynamic for forever, and I need to know if I’m in the wrong with my actions, is there something I can do to avoid these situations? Any advice would be mean the world to me.