u/OrganicAnimator5791

Honestly I don't even know where to start. My dad is an alcoholic and it's BAD. It's so bad, I honestly feel like I am losing ideas on where to go for support. Been living here for roughly a year and I used school as an excuse to ignore it but it's never enough. He quit his job, stays home ALL DAY and does NOTHING expect drink and smoke and throw. Every. single. day. And now that it's the summer I don't know what to do. Since school being out, I feel like I need an excuse to go out with friends just to get out of my house. It feels so stupid and unbalanced. Not to mention my stepmom is a weed addict stoner who doesn't work either and blows money which what we should be using on daily supplies on her weekly weed. I'm so done. Anyways, this was my rant. Any ideas on how I could make my life easier living please share.

I don't know if I like this boy anymore..

I am 19, female and he is 18 male and we met online.. For starters, a little background information. I am in my college program and this boy is in high school, his senior year. We do not live in the same country, and because we met online we have never met once yet (in person). I met him roughly 7 months ago (back in early October). This comes back to my first semester. It was my very first ever semester at college and after a couple weeks to a month or so I started feeling really bored and lonely. Anyway, I met this guy online shortly after I started my program and we started talking. Yk we would flirt and tease each other a lot and then after like 3 weeks to a month of us meeting he asked me to be his official girlfriend. Of course I said yes because this man was so kind and sweet to me and I honestly loved everything about him.

What he told me after a month or two of us meeting was about his past relationships, cause yk... shit gets good there.. anyways, its unfortunate but his first gf he only dated for a couple of months and she basically made his mental health worse and cheated on him (based on what he told me, I haven't met these girls before) and his 2nd relationship gf (the one right before me) was for two years. Now this past girl of 2 years, he was so insanely happy with her. He's mentioned and told me about her (maybe not a red flag? cause he said he hates her but misses that connection with someone). Anyways, they dated for 2 years and he told me towards the last year, he just felt she wasn't trying anymore. Then one day she suddenly left him and he thought it was for no reason. Anyways, maybe about 1-2 months into our relationship now.. we would start to call and FaceTime more often. We called many times but couldn't FT as much. Sooo.. getting more complicated now. His parents do not support online relationships at all. Like at all. Great. Meaning this boy even had to hide his online friends cause his dad thought his kid would get catfished or something. And his dad is a cop. EVEN MORE GREAT 😭. So basically it got to a point where we had to schedule specific dates and times to call just to work around his dad's schedule so we didn't get caught. Then finally came a point where we couldn't even call anymore because his dad switched his shifts and started staying home at nights. Basically throughout December to February, the relationship just felt so dry and dead and like I was trying a little too hard because his mental health was (is) so bad, I would constantly re-assure him as his gf cause he had past trauma from his other ex leaving for no reason. Okay now this part.. I started my second semester in mid January or so and it was my second term of year 1 (of a 2 year program) and it's been known to be the hardest of the semesters. Greeeeeaaaat. Anyways, I'm working my ass of these past couple of months and tbh based off how I was feeling about the program and the relationship I have with this boy, he was making me feel so stressed out. Fast forward a bit, to more of my "it's okay, it'll get better" bullshit (which did help him) and when I rarely got that in return. okay? thanks? 😭 im sorry I know your life is hard but treating people a certain way matters. (side note: I know he's depressed and struggles with his past ex leaving for no reason after 2 years but I felt so shit throughout these months, partly because of him) anyways he broke up with me like mid February sooo yeah. um.. another quick side note: he did treat me really well. yk the goodmornings & goodnights, checking in throughout the day, not pushing my limits, almost all perfect boyfriend. It was just the little things that kinda started to add up.

My birthday happened a few weeks after the breakup, we had stayed friends but I felt it was a bit tense. Yk that situation where you know it's tense but it also feels like it's for the best? yeah, it felt like that. Fast forward.. we started to kinda 👀👀 a bit, roughly 2 months ago and some days since its started I've felt great from it or I've felt guilty. So yeah I don't even know what we are at that point 😭

Anyways, I'll wrap it up. My friend and I were planning on going down to his city (because his parents will know if he drives to meet me, because I'm an online friend) so the plan was for me to go all the way there (with a friend for safety) so I could finally meet him. I don't know or think if I want this to happen or not.. yes I have a job but not enough to save up and buy a car just for a little trip. And cost for travel and all that shit too? Idk, does it seem like a lot from someone I met online 7 months ago?? We did have a really good and strong connection where everything would just click. He also said when we come down, we can just meet and see how the vibes are (but I think he's very attracted to me sooo maybe that scares me too). What's also making me feel guilty is that I don't think I find him attractive anymore. Which isn't good because he doesn't like the way he looks. Now that I'm in college I went to a few bars and dancing places with my friends and there's a lot of single attractive people (I know its not the best place to find someone to date but I like to party) and honestly I feel like it would be better if I dated someone I could see everyday or pretty often. Anyways, this past weekend I got drunk and started feeling up some random guy. It was so funny and awesome and the worst part is that the feeling felt good. 😭 Fun party life, I was having fun. Like I almost feel tied down to this boy? He cries pretty often, he loves a lot and has a big heart so that's likely why. He is also vey hard on himself like he says he wishes I could be there with him and stuff. He's the type of person who typically won't do something wrong (or when he does, he owns up to it and stuff like that) and he's truly a really good person. He has no self confidence, he hates his life. It makes me feel so guilty and bad so I stay so he has a safe ground. I feel like I'm breaking myself down.. I think also relationships scare me a little bit, but I just have a weird gut feeling..

When should I tell him, when his school year is over? How should I say it? What do I even say? Guys I need help, honestly. Pleaseeeee. I don't know what to do..

I don't know if I like this boy anymore..

I am 19, female and he is 18 male and we met online.. For starters, a little background information. I am in my college program and this boy is in high school, his senior year. We do not live in the same country, and because we met online we have never met once yet (in person). I met him roughly 7 months ago (back in early October). This comes back to my first semester. It was my very first ever semester at college and after a couple weeks to a month or so I started feeling really bored and lonely. Anyway, I met this guy online shortly after I started my program and we started talking. Yk we would flirt and tease each other a lot and then after like 3 weeks to a month of us meeting he asked me to be his official girlfriend. Of course I said yes because this man was so kind and sweet to me and I honestly loved everything about him.

What he told me after a month or two of us meeting was about his past relationships, cause yk... shit gets good there.. anyways, its unfortunate but his first gf he only dated for a couple of months and she basically made his mental health worse and cheated on him (based on what he told me, I haven't met these girls before) and his 2nd relationship gf (the one right before me) was for two years. Now this past girl of 2 years, he was so insanely happy with her. He's mentioned and told me about her (maybe not a red flag? cause he said he hates her but misses that connection with someone). Anyways, they dated for 2 years and he told me towards the last year, he just felt she wasn't trying anymore. Then one day she suddenly left him and he thought it was for no reason. Anyways, maybe about 1-2 months into our relationship now.. we would start to call and FaceTime more often. We called many times but couldn't FT as much. Sooo.. getting more complicated now. His parents do not support online relationships at all. Like at all. Great. Meaning this boy even had to hide his online friends cause his dad thought his kid would get catfished or something. And his dad is a cop. EVEN MORE GREAT 😭. So basically it got to a point where we had to schedule specific dates and times to call just to work around his dad's schedule so we didn't get caught. Then finally came a point where we couldn't even call anymore because his dad switched his shifts and started staying home at nights. Basically throughout December to February, the relationship just felt so dry and dead and like I was trying a little too hard because his mental health was (is) so bad, I would constantly re-assure him as his gf cause he had past trauma from his other ex leaving for no reason. Okay now this part.. I started my second semester in mid January or so and it was my second term of year 1 (of a 2 year program) and it's been known to be the hardest of the semesters. Greeeeeaaaat. Anyways, I'm working my ass of these past couple of months and tbh based off how I was feeling about the program and the relationship I have with this boy, he was making me feel so stressed out. Fast forward a bit, to more of my "it's okay, it'll get better" bullshit (which did help him) and when I rarely got that in return. okay? thanks? 😭 im sorry I know your life is hard but treating people a certain way matters. (side note: I know he's depressed and struggles with his past ex leaving for no reason after 2 years but I felt so shit throughout these months, partly because of him) anyways he broke up with me like mid February sooo yeah. um.. another quick side note: he did treat me really well. yk the goodmornings & goodnights, checking in throughout the day, not pushing my limits, almost all perfect boyfriend. It was just the little things that kinda started to add up.

My birthday happened a few weeks after the breakup, we had stayed friends but I felt it was a bit tense. Yk that situation where you know it's tense but it also feels like it's for the best? yeah, it felt like that. Fast forward.. we started to kinda 👀👀 a bit, roughly 2 months ago and some days since its started I've felt great from it or I've felt guilty. So yeah I don't even know what we are at that point 😭

Anyways, I'll wrap it up. My friend and I were planning on going down to his city (because his parents will know if he drives to meet me, because I'm an online friend) so the plan was for me to go all the way there (with a friend for safety) so I could finally meet him. I don't know or think if I want this to happen or not.. yes I have a job but not enough to save up and buy a car just for a little trip. And cost for travel and all that shit too? Idk, does it seem like a lot from someone I met online 7 months ago?? We did have a really good and strong connection where everything would just click. He also said when we come down, we can just meet and see how the vibes are (but I think he's very attracted to me sooo maybe that scares me too). What's also making me feel guilty is that I don't think I find him attractive anymore. Which isn't good because he doesn't like the way he looks. Now that I'm in college I went to a few bars and dancing places with my friends and there's a lot of single attractive people (I know its not the best place to find someone to date but I like to party) and honestly I feel like it would be better if I dated someone I could see everyday or pretty often. Anyways, this past weekend I got drunk and started feeling up some random guy. It was so funny and awesome and the worst part is that the feeling felt good. 😭 Fun party life, I was having fun. Like I almost feel tied down to this boy? He cries pretty often, he loves a lot and has a big heart so that's likely why. He is also vey hard on himself like he says he wishes I could be there with him and stuff. He's the type of person who typically won't do something wrong (or when he does, he owns up to it and stuff like that) and he's truly a really good person. He has no self confidence, he hates his life. It makes me feel so guilty and bad so I stay so he has a safe ground. I feel like I'm breaking myself down.. I think also relationships scare me a little bit, but I just have a weird gut feeling..

When should I tell him, when his school year is over? How should I say it? What do I even say? Guys I need help, honestly. Pleaseeeee. I don't know what to do..

I don't know if I like this boy anymore..

I am 19, female and he is 18 male and we met online.. For starters, a little background information. I am in my college program and this boy is in high school, his senior year. We do not live in the same country, and because we met online we have never met once yet (in person). I met him roughly 7 months ago (back in early October). This comes back to my first semester. It was my very first ever semester at college and after a couple weeks to a month or so I started feeling really bored and lonely. Anyway, I met this guy online shortly after I started my program and we started talking. Yk we would flirt and tease each other a lot and then after like 3 weeks to a month of us meeting he asked me to be his official girlfriend. Of course I said yes because this man was so kind and sweet to me and I honestly loved everything about him.

What he told me after a month or two of us meeting was about his past relationships, cause yk... shit gets good there.. anyways, its unfortunate but his first gf he only dated for a couple of months and she basically made his mental health worse and cheated on him (based on what he told me, I haven't met these girls before) and his 2nd relationship gf (the one right before me) was for two years. Now this past girl of 2 years, he was so insanely happy with her. He's mentioned and told me about her (maybe not a red flag? cause he said he hates her but misses that connection with someone). Anyways, they dated for 2 years and he told me towards the last year, he just felt she wasn't trying anymore. Then one day she suddenly left him and he thought it was for no reason. Anyways, maybe about 1-2 months into our relationship now.. we would start to call and FaceTime more often. We called many times but couldn't FT as much. Sooo.. getting more complicated now. His parents do not support online relationships at all. Like at all. Great. Meaning this boy even had to hide his online friends cause his dad thought his kid would get catfished or something. And his dad is a cop. EVEN MORE GREAT 😭. So basically it got to a point where we had to schedule specific dates and times to call just to work around his dad's schedule so we didn't get caught. Then finally came a point where we couldn't even call anymore because his dad switched his shifts and started staying home at nights. Basically throughout December to February, the relationship just felt so dry and dead and like I was trying a little too hard because his mental health was (is) so bad, I would constantly re-assure him as his gf cause he had past trauma from his other ex leaving for no reason. Okay now this part.. I started my second semester in mid January or so and it was my second term of year 1 (of a 2 year program) and it's been known to be the hardest of the semesters. Greeeeeaaaat. Anyways, I'm working my ass of these past couple of months and tbh based off how I was feeling about the program and the relationship I have with this boy, he was making me feel so stressed out. Fast forward a bit, to more of my "it's okay, it'll get better" bullshit (which did help him) and when I rarely got that in return. okay? thanks? 😭 im sorry I know your life is hard but treating people a certain way matters. (side note: I know he's depressed and struggles with his past ex leaving for no reason after 2 years but I felt so shit throughout these months, partly because of him) anyways he broke up with me like mid February sooo yeah. um.. another quick side note: he did treat me really well. yk the goodmornings & goodnights, checking in throughout the day, not pushing my limits, almost all perfect boyfriend. It was just the little things that kinda started to add up.

My birthday happened a few weeks after the breakup, we had stayed friends but I felt it was a bit tense. Yk that situation where you know it's tense but it also feels like it's for the best? yeah, it felt like that. Fast forward.. we started to kinda 👀👀 a bit, roughly 2 months ago and some days since its started I've felt great from it or I've felt guilty. So yeah I don't even know what we are at that point 😭

Anyways, I'll wrap it up. My friend and I were planning on going down to his city (because his parents will know if he drives to meet me, because I'm an online friend) so the plan was for me to go all the way there (with a friend for safety) so I could finally meet him. I don't know or think if I want this to happen or not.. yes I have a job but not enough to save up and buy a car just for a little trip. And cost for travel and all that shit too? Idk, does it seem like a lot from someone I met online 7 months ago?? We did have a really good and strong connection where everything would just click. He also said when we come down, we can just meet and see how the vibes are (but I think he's very attracted to me sooo maybe that scares me too). What's also making me feel guilty is that I don't think I find him attractive anymore. Which isn't good because he doesn't like the way he looks. Now that I'm in college I went to a few bars and dancing places with my friends and there's a lot of single attractive people (I know its not the best place to find someone to date but I like to party) and honestly I feel like it would be better if I dated someone I could see everyday or pretty often. Anyways, this past weekend I got drunk and started feeling up some random guy. It was so funny and awesome and the worst part is that the feeling felt good. 😭 Fun party life, I was having fun. Like I almost feel tied down to this boy? He cries pretty often, he loves a lot and has a big heart so that's likely why. He is also vey hard on himself like he says he wishes I could be there with him and stuff. He's the type of person who typically won't do something wrong (or when he does, he owns up to it and stuff like that) and he's truly a really good person. He has no self confidence, he hates his life. It makes me feel so guilty and bad so I stay so he has a safe ground. I feel like I'm breaking myself down.. I think also relationships scare me a little bit, but I just have a weird gut feeling..

When should I tell him, when his school year is over? How should I say it? What do I even say? Guys I need help, honestly. Pleaseeeee. I don't know what to do..