u/Otherwise_Quality784

Few years ago I started making fonts, and putting them out there on gumroad. Right now I have 4 free for personal use (basically free download of full font) and 2 licensed recent fonts (you have to buy to download all weights), each of them have from 600 to 2000 downloads (and 50k+ downloads on sites that repost them). One even won an typography award on behance. Collectivly I've got 280$ from them all on gumroad.
At this time I'm heavily considering if I should continue to put my time in this and could I make a livable money in the perspective. So I'm asking your advice

So I failed many many times in my career and had long periods when nothing I tried was working at all, so now I kinda have something similar to learned helplesness (even thought I continue to do things, I stopped beliving that any of it would work, because my expirience tell me that) and I have to push myself each time, because I can't motivate myself normally, it feels pointless. What is also stopping me from showing up is extensive shame for this failures, and where I am in life generally (stuck in my hometown, no progress in years etc.)

I usually work on freelance and my personal projects, and sometimes I get self concious about how much work I put in and if there's even enough of it. I usually work between 4-6 hours a day of focused work, after that I completely loose focus. But I'm not sure if I'm not half-assing it.

Like the person working at the charity event, or humanitarian project is for me have a clear purpose: they're helping people and making their life better right now and there. But in any other cases I feel kinda lost. Is making creative personal projects that could never be observe by anyone beside you could be considered a "purpose". Or doing job that you like, but at the same time doesn't really change the life of others for the better, and could be done by anybody else beside you?

I’m 25 M and I feel completely stuck between huge ambition and total paralysis.

Since I was a kid I thought I was going to become someone. I spent most of my teens chasing creative goals, especially music, instead of building a normal stable life. The thing is I actually tried really hard for years. I learned a lot of skills, both creatively and professionally, worked on different things constantly, pushed myself a lot, but it always feels like I hit some invisible wall where nothing turns into real progress.

That’s what messes with my head the most. I’m not sitting around doing nothing. I can honestly say I tried many different directions already. But the outside results barely change. I still live in a small town, barely talk to anyone, have no relationship, very little money, and spend most of my time alone.

At the same time my ambitions feel way too big for a normal life. I compare myself to literally everyone. Sometimes it’s a famous musician or celebrity, other times it’s just some random guy with a decent apartment and a social life in a better city. My brain instantly imagines what their life feels like and whether I would rather be them.

The problem is that nothing feels like enough in my head. I want too much from life. Status, recognition, experiences, freedom, creativity, different identities, different lives almost. Sometimes I genuinely get upset thinking about how short and limited life is because I want to experience everything at once.

But then another part of me thinks none of it will actually satisfy me anyway. Even success starts looking weird to me after a while, like you spend years chasing something and then get trapped inside that version of yourself forever.

So now I’m stuck in this cycle where I’m still ambitious and jealous and constantly wanting more from life, but at the same time I feel emotionally disconnected from all the goals I’m chasing.

Has anyone else experienced this? Especially the feeling that your ambition became so big that no realistic future actually feels satisfying anymore?

How do indie film directors actually make a living long term? A lot of them make low-budget movies that come out every 2-4 years, and many don’t seem to have constant credits on other films as writers, producers, composers, etc. What do they usually do between projects to support themselves financially?

Is it some kind of meshing together 2-3 samples, or just slowing down one single track?