As an extrovert, I get weird butterflies and mild triggered by the concept of this common platitude: "Find your fulfilling and happiness from within" Okay, sounds great and stoic .......but logically speaking if that's a one-size-fits-all solution to our all our mental health issues than why bother leaving the house and socialize? Someone commented and pointed out on here that if everyone was an extreme introvert our species would die out.

I find the process of dating and being a serious relationship extremely healing. I can be happy learning about my own hobbies and interests to read about on my own but at the end of the day I want to share my interests/hobbies and self with someone, but NOOO according to modern self-help advice, I have to find all my fulfillment and happiness from within first. "sigh" eye roll.

And you wonder why people become people pleasers and feel more chronically lonely. Me and many others are constantly told to be happy on our own and be perfectly happy on our own. I have no interest AT ALL in being single forever! Just because many introverts and people have terrible experiences with dating and have given doesn't mean I have too nor be a monk.

I'm trying to live my own truth for once while deflect these projections and platitudes peers throw out there like it's supposed to help or change my life or something. People say desperation is a repelling energy, but I find personally people who try too hard to dish out advice, opinions and help is a very repelling energy as well. Someone's physical presence and physical affection is the only thing that I need sometimes when I feel lonely.

I have deep respect for Costco and many memories growing up going with my brothers and dad every Friday.

I am visually impaired and cannot drive. I am living alone for the very first time and relying on Instacart or Walmart delivery for my groceries. I envy people who goes to Costco so easily like it's an everyday occurrence + benefiting from the gas services, etc. I cannot benefit from any of those extra services.

The majority of my money goes toward food and do not need a lot household items to get anymore at least very intermittently.

I hear that the online purchases are more expensive than going in-person. Well that's just not fair nor accessible for those who cannot drive or have a car. :(

How could I justify getting a gold membership unless it's simply not worth it??

The executive membership I would need to spend $3250/year to get the most out of the 2% cashback just to make it worth it. I've never spent that much in groceries/year even when I was with my ex.

I totally support Costco and want to use them in some shape or form. But devil's advocate- what's the point of the standard gold membership if i can easily buy things via Costco online via Instagram? Are prices by default cheaper when you have a formal membership on file?

Thanks in-advance for your time and any support.

*NO ADVICE

Venting but also looking for insight support.

It is well-known at this point that we are social species. Our evolutionary shows us from our ancestors that if we ended up alone without a partner and/or our tribe; we would most likely die. I understand modern this is old wiring and lizard brain. That would never happen now in our modern society esp with the internet.

I hear quotes and advice from life coaches, influencers, random people and peers etc all the time:

"How can you expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself"

"You need to be able to be content with yourself"

"Solitude is essential to a healthy relationship"

"Date yourself so you are not dependent on someone else to fulfill your emotional needs"

"Be your own emotional blanket"

"You are responsible for your own orgasm"

"You have should enjoy your own company"

"You should "want" a relationship, not "need" one".

"If you need a relationship you are emotionally dependent and weak".

"Learn to be happy on your own first".

"Just stay positive, be yourself and love will naturally find you without you trying".

etc etc...you get the idea.

It is no coincidence that the vast majority of people who say these things are introverts. Most of these platitudes and expressions/advice sound so bleak and depressing. It's ironic because we live in a massive loneliness crisis despite social media and constantly connected. If it's so healthy to be happy on our own, why is there is a loneliness crisis? Please for the love of god, explain that!!! Someone once said to me that if someone found the cure of loneliness, bottle it, package it and sell it= that inventor would be a trillionaire. Yet there is this big push for self-love, being content on your own, and embrace solitude.

For example when I vent my grief after getting over my ex-wife and feeling extreme loneliness sometimes everyone throws out all this advice like I need to be fixed. I don't care about people's good intensions, ALL I want is someone to be there for me in-person and empathize.

I find being in a relationship and even the whole of dating very healing. Being with my ex-wife was the most rewarding experience of my life. We didn't break up due to a lack of love or resentment but huge irreconcilable differences. I am doing my very best to enjoy being single but not having someone to come home to and talk about my hobbies & cuddle with is a massive void that no amount of self-love can compensate. And yet I m told and given the impression that it's wrong that I need a lot of social connection to fill my cup. In addition, I am really struggling to enjoy living alone for the very first time in my life and yes I understand time heals but I will never get to a point of contentment that my introvert friends/peers have. I shouldn't have to force myself to be alone on purpose just because social wisdom says that apparently being in solitude is vastly better than being a relationship.

I thrive in relationships and not that I need someone around 24/7 but I've grown the most having a woman in my life and having a solid network. There fleeting moments when I enjoy purposely being alone like reading, running, watching TV. I will always prefer to have companionship than be live alone forever! I refuse to die alone but in apparently in the eyes of some communities= that's wrong. "eye roll".

Is it wrong that I am wired differently and that I have an abundance of energy that I want to share with someone and friends? The last thing I need right now during this difficult transition is more advice. "sigh". Every time people throw out random advice, I feel like I am not good enough the way I am as though I need fixing. And you wonder why people become people pleasers when you are constantly nagged to not want this, change that, do this.

I just want to date, socialize as often as I can, enjoy my hobbies, and eventually find someone special more aligned with life goals. What's wrong with that?

Discuss, debate, thoughts, insights, can anyone relate, empathize????

NO ADVICE

Venting but also looking for insight support.

It is well-known at this point that we are social species. Our evolutionary shows us from our ancestors that if we ended up alone without a partner and/or our tribe; we would most likely die. I understand modern this is old wiring and lizard brain. That would never happen now in our modern society esp with the internet.

I hear quotes and advice from life coaches, influencers, random people and peers etc all the time:

"How can you expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself"

"You need to be able to be content with yourself"

"Solitude is essential to a healthy relationship"

"Date yourself so you are not dependent on someone else to fulfill your emotional needs"

"Be your own emotional blanket"

"You are responsible for your own orgasm"

"You have should enjoy your own company"

"You should "want" a relationship, not "need" one".

"If you need a relationship you are emotionally dependent and weak".

"Learn to be happy on your own first".

"Just stay positive, be yourself and love will naturally find you without you trying".

etc etc...you get the idea.

It is no coincidence that the vast majority of people who say these things are introverts. Most of these platitudes and expressions/advice sound so bleak and depressing. It's ironic because we live in a massive loneliness crisis despite social media and constantly connected. If it's so healthy to be happy on our own, why is there is a loneliness crisis? Please for the love of god, explain that!!! Someone once said to me that if someone found the cure of loneliness, bottle it, package it and sell it= that inventor would be a trillionaire. Yet there is this big push for self-love, being content on your own, and embrace solitude.

For example when I vent my grief after getting over my ex-wife and feeling extreme loneliness sometimes everyone throws out all this advice like I need to fixed. I don't care about people's good intensions, ALL I want is someone to be there for me in-person and empathize.

I find being in a relationship and even the whole of dating very healing. Being with my ex-wife was the most rewarding experience of my life. We didn't break up due to a lack of love or resentment but huge irreconcilable differences. I am doing my very best to enjoy being single but not having someone to come home to and talk about my hobbies & cuddle with is a massive void that no amount of self-love can compensate. And yet I m told and given the impression that it's wrong that I need a lot of social connection to fill my cup. In addition, I am really struggling to enjoy living alone for the very first time in my life and yes I understand time heals but I will never get to a point of contentment that my introvert friends/peers have. I shouldn't have to force myself to be alone on purpose just because social wisdom says that apparently being in solitude is vastly better than being a relationship.

I thrive in relationships and not that I need someone around 24/7 but I've grown the most having a woman in my life and having a solid network. There fleeting moments when I enjoy purposely being alone like reading, running, watching TV. I will always prefer to have companionship than be live alone forever! I refuse to die alone but in apparently in the eyes of some communities= that's wrong. "eye roll".

Is it wrong that I am wired differently and that I have an abundance of energy that I want to share with someone and friends? The last thing I need right now during this difficult transition is more advice. "sigh". Every time people throw out random advice, I feel like I am not good enough the way I am as though I need fixing. And you wonder why people become people pleasers when you are constantly nagged to not want this, change that, do this.

I just want to date, socialize as often as I can, enjoy my hobbies, and eventually find someone special more aligned with life goals. What's wrong with that?

Discuss, debate, thoughts, insights, can anyone relate, empathize????

*NO ADVICE

Venting but also looking for insight support.

It is well-known at this point that we are social species. Our evolutionary shows us from our ancestors that if we ended up alone without a partner and/or our tribe; we would most likely die. I understand modern this is old wiring and lizard brain. That would never happen now in our modern society esp with the internet.

I hear quotes and advice from life coaches, influencers, random people and peers etc all the time:

"How can you expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself"

"You need to be able to be content with yourself"

"Solitude is essential to a healthy relationship"

"Date yourself so you are not dependent on someone else to fulfill your emotional needs"

"Be your own emotional blanket"

"You are responsible for your own orgasm"

"You have should enjoy your own company"

"You should "want" a relationship, not "need" one".

"If you need a relationship you are emotionally dependent and weak".

"Learn to be happy on your own first".

"Just stay positive, be yourself and love will naturally find you without you trying".

etc etc...you get the idea.

It is no coincidence that the vast majority of people who say these things are introverts. Most of these platitudes and expressions/advice sound so bleak and depressing. It's ironic because we live in a massive loneliness crisis despite social media and constantly connected. If it's so healthy to be happy on our own, why is there is a loneliness crisis? Please for the love of god, explain that!!! Someone once said to me that if someone found the cure of loneliness, bottle it, package it and sell it= that inventor would be a trillionaire. Yet there is this big push for self-love, being content on your own, and embrace solitude.

For example when I vent my grief after getting over my ex-wife and feeling extreme loneliness sometimes everyone throws out all this advice like I need to be fixed. I don't care about people's good intensions, ALL I want is someone to be there for me in-person and empathize.

I find being in a relationship and even the whole of dating very healing. Being with my ex-wife was the most rewarding experience of my life. We didn't break up due to a lack of love or resentment but huge irreconcilable differences. I am doing my very best to enjoy being single but not having someone to come home to and talk about my hobbies & cuddle with is a massive void that no amount of self-love can compensate. And yet I m told and given the impression that it's wrong that I need a lot of social connection to fill my cup. In addition, I am really struggling to enjoy living alone for the very first time in my life and yes I understand time heals but I will never get to a point of contentment that my introvert friends/peers have. I shouldn't have to force myself to be alone on purpose just because social wisdom says that apparently being in solitude is vastly better than being a relationship.

I thrive in relationships and not that I need someone around 24/7 but I've grown the most having a woman in my life and having a solid network. There fleeting moments when I enjoy purposely being alone like reading, running, watching TV. I will always prefer to have companionship than be live alone forever! I refuse to die alone but in apparently in the eyes of some communities= that's wrong. "eye roll".

Is it wrong that I am wired differently and that I have an abundance of energy that I want to share with someone and friends? The last thing I need right now during this difficult transition is more advice. "sigh". Every time people throw out random advice, I feel like I am not good enough the way I am as though I need fixing. And you wonder why people become people pleasers when you are constantly nagged to not want this, change that, do this.

I just want to date, socialize as often as I can, enjoy my hobbies, and eventually find someone special more aligned with life goals. What's wrong with that?

Discuss, debate, thoughts, insights, can anyone relate, empathize????

For those who chose Option A after being an opting employee: What has your experience been so far?

Is it realistic that EVERYONE who has 12 months or so to find a new substantive will be successful? From a statistical point of view and basic math, something doesn't add up that I've always wondered. If it all came down to working hard and putting yourself out there and everyone got a position during their surplus period, then what was the point of doing cuts? There must be people by next May- July that will be laid off, no matter what they do, whether it's networking, applying to EVERY job that PIMS sends, seeking alternation, self-referring, etc.

It's so discouraging that, in fact, it's black & white: you must meet ALL essential criteria, or you are not qualified for those positions.

Every time I talk to my HR rep, manager and mentors about this and the feeling: The anxiety, frustration, anger, sadness, uncertainty- the only answer they have is: Have you considered contacting EAP? "eye roll.

The government refuses to admit that they lack the resources and answers to support people in this precarious situation.

At least I can look back on the worst-case scenario and say that I did everything in my control to get re-secure myself. "sigh". It's hard not to believe in luck and fate in these situations, since most things are beyond our control anyway.

Can anyone relate?? Thoughts? Any insight into the behind-the-scenes?