r/extroverts

I think we've massively exaggerated how necessary friendship and socialising are. We're constantly told that humans are “social creatures” and that everyone needs meaningful connections, but I don't think that automatically means everyone needs friends. Some people genuinely enjoy being alone and don't experience the lack of friendship as a problem at all.

I can understand why people would find that difficult to believe because loneliness is usually treated as something everyone eventually experiences. But what if you simply don't want what you're supposedly “missing”? If someone can spend days alone, enjoy their own company and never sit there desperately wishing someone would text them, I'm not convinced it's accurate to tell them they're secretly lonely.

I also think we confuse being alone with feeling lonely. They're not the same thing. Someone can have no friends and feel completely content, while someone surrounded by people can feel incredibly lonely. The number of people around you doesn't determine whether your life feels fulfilling.

And honestly, friendship comes with costs that people rarely talk about. Time, money, constant messages, making plans, maintaining relationships, dealing with disagreements and sometimes feeling obligated to do things you don't actually want to do. If someone doesn't get enough value from friendship to justify those costs, why should they be pressured into having it?

I'm not saying friendship is bad or that people who love socialising are doing something wrong. If friendship makes your life better, absolutely have friends. I'm saying it should be optional. You shouldn't have to prove that you're happy without friends, and you shouldn't automatically be considered lonely, weird or unhappy simply because you don't want them. Maybe some people genuinely don't need friendship in the way others

My job mostly involves working alone with very little social interaction, so I try to use weekends to see friends and do things like bowling, arcades, eating out, day trips, or just hanging out.

I have ADHD and find it hard to enjoy spending time with people I don’t find interesting, so I struggle to make new friends. I mainly have three people who I hang out with often: A, U, and L.

A rarely meets up, but we message almost every day. U is responsive, but often cancels plans at the last minute, and I don’t really enjoy messaging him. L usually does meet up, but over the last year he has become very unreliable. He is often 30–60 minutes late and can take 2–3 days to reply to simple messages.

Recently, L and I bought passes for various attractions. We agreed to go to a theme park, and he said he would book his ticket. After two days with no response, I had to chase him, and eventually I cancelled my booking and suggested going next month instead. He agreed, but by this point I’ve lost a lot of trust in his reliability. Making plans with him often feels like a 3–5 day process because of how slowly he responds.

Because of all this, I’ve started spending more weekends at home, which I find boring and mentally draining, I crave social interaction. I sometimes try doing things alone, but I really don’t enjoy it. For example, I went to the zoo alone because nobody was available, and even though I normally love the zoo, I hated the experience.

I also don’t have a car, so travelling further away is difficult, and I don’t enjoy most local activities by myself.

I feel a bit stuck. My current friends are unreliable, but I also find it difficult to make new friends unless I genuinely find someone interesting. I’m not really sure what to do. I don't have a car, so going to these hobby clubs can be difficult too.

Hi fellow extroverts!

I often read posts everywhere analyzing the introverted world and how extroverts just can't understand it. We have that stereotype of adopting introverts, so I’m taking advantage of it—after a weekend spent at home that's driving me crazy—to complain about one thing:

How frustrating is it to be an extrovert surrounded mostly by introverts?

Our friend group used to have 11 people, so someone was always going out. But after a split, there are now mini-groups of introverts who just don't want to leave the house.

I know it's a need for them, so I’ve never interfered. But my own need for social recharging feels almost impossible to satisfy.

I’ve realized I get along better with introverts because they are very emotionally attuned and we always have deep conversations, but I need regular outings to feel good. I can't make a single outing per week be enough like they do.

I feel like I'm losing my mind when I'm alone; I don't feel happy or recharged.

I probably need to make new friends, which is usually pretty easy for me. But since it's August and everyone is on vacation, I just have to survive these next few days.

Maybe I'm being dramatic, but at least I'm demonstrating what happens to an extroverted brain without constant social interaction 🤣🤣

P.S. This only happened two days ago and I'm already like this.

I know it's popular now to post memes about being borderline antisocial, hating to leave home, being so special by not enjoying company, etc. But you know, I envy those people I think. When you are an extrovert, you need to outsource your happiness and constantly look for people to make you happy and fill you with energy. That, in itself, can be exhausting. I noticed after I turned 30 that I am in a constant state of searching for the next social ocasion and they are becoming more and more rare. I've been to ONE party this summer, that's all that happened. I am very good at making friends, but so often it's a one-sided effort and unless I invite some people to do something, they will never initiate anything. I am surrounded by introverts and my needs are never fully met.

Imagine not having those needs and "finding happiness from whithin" (wtf does that even mean). Lucky bastards.

I can't seem to find any extroverts for some reason

And please do not say to just keep looking and that you guys are everywhere, I genuinely cannot find any extroverts

So just tell me where to meet extroverts or at least where they're most at

The people I meet are usually introverts or ambiverts

Is it because my interests are pretty introverted?

How do I look for extroverts specifically? How can I find you guys?

hi I am just wondering if I am not the only one experiencing this:

- I am not good at just „chilling“ at home alone for two or more days, I feel lonely or the time alone is kinda exhausting

- even a week only with my partner (and no other different people) is exhausting for me

- my own room seems grey when I am alone in it for too long, even if I decorated it pretty and colorful

- there are no books about extroverts about how they can feel well (and sooo many books about introverts! what about us??)

- I always want to visit people. my dream life would be always have visitors or to visit them, also sleepovers in new houses there.

- In my job I am alone most of the time working on my laptop. that kinda sucks.

thanks for your answers <3 it would be lovely to feel understood.

I know some people who claim to be extroverted when they're just hyperactive.

As an extrovert, I don’t usually have a problem getting along with people, whether it’s making friends or dating someone. But I don’t know how or why I ended up being avoided by them. I’m not expecting anything from anyone, but it still hurts a lot. So, I want to know how can an extrovert learn to be happy and content with themselves.

As an extrovert, I get weird butterflies and mild triggered by the concept of this common platitude: "Find your fulfilling and happiness from within" Okay, sounds great and stoic .......but logically speaking if that's a one-size-fits-all solution to our all our mental health issues than why bother leaving the house and socialize? Someone commented and pointed out on here that if everyone was an extreme introvert our species would die out.

I find the process of dating and being a serious relationship extremely healing. I can be happy learning about my own hobbies and interests to read about on my own but at the end of the day I want to share my interests/hobbies and self with someone, but NOOO according to modern self-help advice, I have to find all my fulfillment and happiness from within first. "sigh" eye roll.

And you wonder why people become people pleasers and feel more chronically lonely. Me and many others are constantly told to be happy on our own and be perfectly happy on our own. I have no interest AT ALL in being single forever! Just because many introverts and people have terrible experiences with dating and have given doesn't mean I have too nor be a monk.

I'm trying to live my own truth for once while deflect these projections and platitudes peers throw out there like it's supposed to help or change my life or something. People say desperation is a repelling energy, but I find personally people who try too hard to dish out advice, opinions and help is a very repelling energy as well. Someone's physical presence and physical affection is the only thing that I need sometimes when I feel lonely.

Hey'll yall I have a problem. I can't stop talking to people. I am a very social person but even after my social battery is empty I can not stop talking to people even tho I hate it. And it drains my energy and makes me pissed but I still do it. I talk to everyone. Even people at school I really hate but I can't stop. I have had this for my whole life and I wanna change something. And even tho I want to stop and I am always telling myself to shut up I just can't. Its like something in my brain is programmed to talk 24/7. Idk what is wrong with me if you have any idea on how to stop this please tell me

I do not have any friends in my college. Because I am an introvert so how can I become an extrovert.

Anything new that's really stood out to you since 2026 began?

Are you watching anything old that you've never seen before?