r/extroverts

I feel like being an extrovert but always being forced to be isolated is a huge contributer to my depression and lack of energy or motivation.

I notice that whenever I go to hang out with my friends, or to even just go outside to do something fun, my energy comes striking back almost immediately, and my mood uplifts 10x more.

But then when I spend time alone, even for just one day, I feel very.. empty, lonely, and get depressed really easily. I can't stand being alone and doing nothing, I feel like I HAVE to have constant stimulation to be happy or satisfied.

But lately, for months now, I've just been basically forced to be all alone and isolated, and the only people I ever talk to really are my mom and brother, who I don't even talk to that much either.

I rarely ever see my friends, and they rarely ever even talk or reach out to me, and I feel like I'm always the only one actually trying. But the few friends who actually do reach out to me, they always either live too far away or have other shit on their plate to deal with that restricts us from ever spending time with each other.

I really hate being an extrovert. It really is not as easy as everyone else thinks it is. I'm envious of introverts because they can be all alone for like months straight and it wouldn't affect them at all. Meanwhile I go just one day without going out or socializing with anyone and I feel like I could die of boredom.

Before I start I know that not every extrovert calls out quiet people and people with social anxiety for being quiet and not talking much and I thank those of you who don't call us out, but I've noticed a lot of extroverted people go up to me saying "Why are you so quiet?" and "You should talk to other people more." Most introverts don't go up to extroverts and say you should be quiet more so why do some extroverts go up to me and other introverts and tell me to talk more. A lot of kids at my school really don't like me because to them I'm to quiet and don't talk every second. Even my mom and dad have told me multiple times that I need to "reach out" more to other people. So why do some of you guys do this?

I feel like it would be so much easier to he an introvert than an extrovert becasue extroverts have to rely and depend in other people to charge their energy up while introverts simply can just do things a long- which is way easier to do being you don't have to rely on outside factors. Furthermore, it seems like there are fewer extroverts now compared to introverts in the world these days. You always hear introverts talking about about always preferring to be in solubility while you rarely ever hear extrovert talk.about their struggles when it comes to actually finding people to hang out in this ever increasingly anti social world.

My family thinks I have no awkwardness to new people all because in big crowds I play it off. I see confidence as a social shield as it would make it worse if I showed fear. My mom has severe anxiety with people and gets upset or laughs if I say I get nervous too.

For a good portion of my life, I never had the opportunity to make friends. Covid hit in the early years of middle school. Which did play into me not being as social in Middle school. Even then, Nearly everyone knew me at the school and I could talk with anyone!

My parents weren't the best when it came down to letting me do anything either. I was only allowed to do sports, and even then I couldn't make it all the time. No after school clubs, no Hangouts, I couldn't even walk around outside my house until more recently. Even when it came down to being online. I wasn't allowed to have social media until 2 years ago.

I would say I'm a floater friend. I can go to anyone, chat, have a good time with. But I don't have a group. I don't have people that check up on me or ask me to go out. It sucks. Especially since the beginning of junior year was when I could finally do more things, and I started learning a lot more when it came down to talking to people.

What I don't understand is that even though I do my absolute best, it feels like it leads nowhere. I still have to initiate conversations, or if I wanted to hangout, I always need to be the one to ask. I feel horrible knowing most of my life, I never got to experience being able to go out to just get something to drink and talk with a friend.

I've been told many times that people like me, or that I'm fun to hang around. Yet it never feels like that. I can't tell if maybe the people I hang around with are more of acquaintances then friends, or if maybe I'm the one doing something off putting. I know I'm only a year into actually going all out. But still, it feels so lonely waiting for that text back. Yearning to go out. Yet, I'm the only one who pushes for it.

I apologize if this isn't easy to read. I'm not the best with explaining. Though I can always clear anything up in the comments!

TLDR: I know a lot of people and am friends with many, yet I don't have any I can call a close friend or hang out with.

I'm sitting here, day after empty summer day, trying to better myself with the free time I've been graced with between semesters; but no amount of reading or exercise or music practice can satisfy that one craving I've always had: people.

I've always liked people. When the weather was nicer, this past spring, I would spend my off days walking ~6 miles to the nearest bus stop so I could just ride the line and interact with strangers. That was a decent use of time; it made me better at my day job, at least, because I got more and more comfortable with initiating conversations with strangers.

But now, in the summer? Between semesters? It's hell out there. By 9 AM it's already nearing 100 degrees: you can't just walk around and chat with strangers on the street. And there are no "third spaces" in this suburb, where you can go just to mingle and meet people. The closest thing to that would be going to some bar, spending way too much money on drinks, and getting in my head over trying to be outgoing while doing my best to not make anyone uncomfortable.

But tonight, while trying to learn the bass line to Australia by The Shins (by ear, since I want to get better at doing that,) I get a discord friend request:

Anime pfp,

generic, uwu-esque/feminine-sounding handle,

no mutual servers,

account age just shy of 2 years

no trace of an identity anywhere else on the internet

They speak vaguely, asking "why aren't you talking in game?" without mentioning anything specific. When I respond, clarifying that they've likely added me by mistake, they're amiable. And not just that, but they go on to introduce themselves; as if they were so intent on fixing a comms issue in a multiplayer game one second, but have ample time to talk to a random stranger the next.

They say they're 26. "Odd," I think; "I'd figure a scammer would try and pose as a younger woman, no?" But that's just me making assumptions about the demographics they're likely targeting. I'd think a honeypot targeting lonely losers on discord would be served better by posing as some barely-legal femboy or MPDG. 26 just seems so odd, partly because it would put us just one year apart.

Makes me wonder how "random" this friend request is; maybe there's some database out there that has my discord handle lagged with a birthday. Hells, in 2026, it's likely there's some board out there where it's all been laid out together as nicely as possible, all for the purpose of helping scammers feign synchronicity. It makes me think about the person whose job it likely is to put something like that together: is it some script kiddie holding the database together to try and demonstrate competence, so they can move up their corporate ladder?

Or is it one of the people who contributes to anonymous postings online because they found that one specific thing their brain is broken for and decided to jump in and take up the mantle, like those blessed souls who vet Wikipedia sources or write patches for Skyrim mods?

Whomever they are, maybe it'd be nice to meet them. It's not quite as direct as chatting with strangers on the bus, but it's better than nothing, isn't it?

Hey peeps,

As an INTP, I just wanna know how much social interaction would drain you guys? Ik it varies from person to person
But do you even feel drained?

Sometimes I just feel like going to a random bar or club, ordering a beer, sitting in a corner, and just… existing.

No big plans. No trying to impress anyone.

Just people-watching, getting lost in my thoughts, and letting time pass.

Am I weird, or does anyone else do this?

Not sure where to start but here goes : In the last 5 or so years I've entered into a strong period of personal growth - I've elevated my personal income and investments, I've elevated myself physically with consistently working out and eating healthy and in doing so I've also inadvertently increased my already high social confidence exponentially. Now I personally feel that despite taking a reasonable amount of initiative to build a new social circle (as I had outgrown the previous one) I cannot help but feel purposefully excluded due to high social confidence that I have. I have tons of personal stories to explain this but I'd like for you to simply take me at my word that I have enough self awareness to know I'm not just being self aggrandizing here. Does anyone understand where I'm coming from or have any meaningful insights as to what this period of life is like and how to get through it ?

Yesterday, I went 12 hours without getting many messages from anyone.
I was also alone all day, but that wasn't an issue for me, as I am not emotionally close to those I live with.
I know that the people I wanted to hear from were most likely busy, but I felt lonely today.

It's really hard being someone who likes regular contact. I'm not talking about everyday communication. I would love it if I could find someone who would spontaneously message me for no reason, just to check up on me or because they wanted to chat with me.

Has anyone else gone through this as well?

(24M) I'm an introvert and sligthly socially awkward. A lot of times when i tried to open myself to others, i would be mocked and humiliated by other ppl, when i was just trying to socialize, being seen as a weird and autistic freak to them. So i closed myself, and i would only open myself to ppl i know very well and trust.

But i noticed my extroverted coworkers say whatever come to mind, be idiot or no, and ppl love them for that. If i say the same thing, i would be considered a weirdo hahaha if someone tries to shut or censor the extroverts ,they just them to fuck off.

I would like to know how can you not be afraid of this public mockery and humiliation, and say what you think no matter the consequences. I know it's not a matter of "don't caring" , since ppl can use what i say against me, like some of them did before.

So idk if m alone at this but since I uploaded this app I feel like no one matches my energy cuz m full of life and exploring new stuff playing different sports mhm not staying home all the time not that I don’t wlkn I hope u get it tell me u guys exist in here

So I (32F) have significantly changed since 2021 once I turned 27. Before I turned 27, I used to be such a "ray of sunshine" according to former friends and my parents in the sense that I was always smiling and laughing, had a wonderful sense of humor, was very friendly to everyone I met, was always the first one to hit up a party and the dance floor, and honestly liked everyone and never had any enemies. I would used to make people laugh so hard. In addition, I would used so many guys, both good and bad as I had long curly hair and would always wear makeup.

Since turning 27 I feel my personality has completely changed. I don't know why it just has and honestly I love my new personality now. I dress very conservatively, do not wear makeup, don't make an effort to socialize or make new friends but I am polite, hate going to parties and hate dancing, don't have a sense of humor anymore, and look very serious in public. As I have changed I also noticed that I am able to weed out the wrong people early on. My parents, on the other hand, just had a conversation with me that they miss the old me as now I am very uptight, serious, unfriendly, don't go to parties or like dancing anymore, and get offended easily. They think I have depression but that is not the case at all. As I have stated earlier in this post I feel like I am taken so seriously now and have attracted genuine people. Why is it that they just can accept that I am no longer that person in the past.