u/SuperSalad_OrElse

Anything new that's really stood out to you since 2026 began?

Are you watching anything old that you've never seen before?

Has anyone else confiscated your player’s D12s?

My players were rolling terribly. I finally watched what they were doing… and saw a D12 rolling across the dice tray.

I told everyone to turn them in and to never think about that die again.

#PlayersAreStupid

Have you ever served space aliens wearing human skin?

I used to work at a busy pizza spot. You could walk up to the counter and order pizza or you could seat yourself and we’d come to you. We also had an entirely separate dinner menu, just to keep things nice and complicated. But we are, first and foremost, a pizza place on this side. The other side is the main restaurant. They both share a menu. Again, to keep things nice and complicated.

It’s the ninth hour of my weekly twelve hour shift… and this couple lumbers in. They look lost.

They’ve found the pizza menu. They are near the counter. I help the customer before them, taking a moment to assure them that I’ll be available shortly- To Go orders are piling up, I need to pour beer, and etc.

They flip the menu end over end, as if the sheet of paper might have some undiscovered third face. I return to the counter and ask if they’d like to be seated or if they’re doing a To-Go order.

“What do you recommend?”, she asks guardedly. Her froggy husband’s vacant stare peers over her shoulder.

I rattle off a few crowd pleasers. She doesn’t seem convinced.

“We aren’t really cheese people…”

Well, ain’t that wild. You walked into a pizza place. I offer up our main menu and point out a few options that don’t have cheese.

She hems and haws while her husband hovers. I don’t think he’s blinked, let alone said a single word. I help another customer. I greet a table. I come back. She’s still at the counter.

“Have you decided?” I ask, eager to stop these two from draining all the energy from the room.

“We want pizza but we don’t want cheese…”

“Well, you could’ve made this dumb idea anyone else’s fuckin problem but here we are”, I say in my head before offering a Marinara Pizza, which is listed on the menu she’s been holding, and distinctly lacks cheese.

After a long pause, and what I assume to be either one million thoughts rattling behind her eyes or not a single thought at all… she accepts.

I ring in the Marinara Pizza, tell them it will be about thirty-forty minutes (we were SLAMMED), I guide them to a table, pull out the chairs, offer napkins, silverware, and a pizza stand.

Ya’ll, they sit down, this husband unfurls his napkin, unfolds it to the full extension of what a paper napkin can stretch to be, then he tucks it in his shirt. They then stare at each other for forty minutes until the pizza arrives.

I’d love for the weirdness to continue but it just fizzled out after that. I was glad when they paid and left. They ate most of the pizza and said it was good when I checked in a few times for refills. I don’t know.

Do any of you also have close encounters of the third kind stories? Interactions with people who slid out of a test tube a few hours before sitting in your section?

So I had this wild idea where I made up this monster that would DISRUPT the way we think about DND

I had my players go visit this town where no one could understand what was going on, but they kept finding evidence that the townsfolk were missing people

Like, Bethany was a milk maiden (she milked travellers) and she found baby clothes in a dresser in her house but was like “I don’t have a baby” and her husband Rickshaw (he is an Iron Maiden) was also confused because he swears they didn’t have a baby but it turns out that the baby was missing because this creature ABSOLUTELY rewrote the rules in such a creative and interesting way

My players kept making faces like they could smell bleu cheese but I know intrigue when I see it, I was cooking BIG TIME and they’d eat just weren’t onto me yet.

So what I did is everytime my players took notes, I would climb over the table, ball it up and throw the balled up notes out the window into the chinchilla farm and they’d swarm and eat the notes (I don’t feed them for this exact purpose)

So then they would try to do skill checks like investigation and I would tell them to roll. If they rolled high, I would tell them nothing happened and they don’t know, but if they rolled low, I would climb over the table and eat the D20 myself

Afterwards I revealed that I was META gaming with this sick new monster idea but I still don’t know what to name it? It eats people and doesn’t really have any stats, I just kind of pretend like I knew what I was doing the whole time and I also had to make sure to convince my players they were having fun which was easy since they all told me they loved it (I saw one of them crying out front before they all hugged and got in their cars)

So that’s where all of you come in- what do I name this sick new 3PP monster?

I need a system with robust resources to facilitate arguing about rules. I do not need anything extreme, (fist fighting, or jail time)

But I do need to feel my vision turn red and maybe throw sharp dice at a nearby window or kitchen appliance?