People born poor and later gained wealth due to their own luck/hard work. How do you feel?

I am talking ones who traveled in general compartment all life, sometimes without ticket. Those who had to count money even for basics like books. Those who never asked for anything fancy, since they knew their parents wont be able to provide.

And by luck(read software industry) became wealthy. Say multimillion USD networth.

How do you feel? Do you feel bitter on gaining this wealth so late that it hardly matters. Or do you feel grateful to have made this money?

- You are married however its going

- You have kid/kids who are growing, however they are

- You have a decently paid job, but not really the top and no path to sudden greatness

- You have decent money to FI but not to live an extraordinary rich life.

- You are in okayish shape with BMI slightly above normal. But you arent also very muscular

- You have fancy cars and have changed few already

- Already lived in India and abroad

So at this point, what to look up to in life?? :/

I only 3 roti/paratha a day in lunch, on days i dont eat rice.

Its been a pain to cook roti/paratha. I am happy to make Sabji.

Wonder if i should just swap roti/paratha with some Bhuna chana as source of grain?

I do eat poha, bread sandwich, vermicilli etc in breakfast so its not like i am completely devoid of grains.

Does it make better sense? even if its not better, is it atleast not worse? Google says its ok to do. but wanted to hear from experts here.

Wanted to compile all the scams i have seen in real estate over the years. I typed this in a comment somewhere. Anyone else having more experiences, please add to the list 😃

My list is primarily from NCR. The level of innovation in scams there is unreal.

1. Builders sold more parking spots than actually existed with each apartment (~₹1 lakh per parking, I think). So no parking was officially assigned. Slowly, as more residents moved in, people realized the total parking available was far less than what was promised.
2. Get approval for, say, 12 floors and then build 16. This wasn’t an exception in NCR — it was practically the rule. The idea was to later pay a penalty to the authority and get the extra floors regularized. Meanwhile, the top floors were sold to buyers who often didn’t even realize they were illegal. Once this scam became common knowledge, builders started offering discounts on top floors. (Multiple projects in Noida and Noida Extension)
3. Almost every society built in Noida in 2000s 2010s has 1–2 “ghost towers.” The original layout would advertise “park-facing,” “pool-facing,” or “green-facing” apartments — usually with extra charges. Later, the builder would construct additional towers in those same open areas to squeeze more money out of the project. When residents went to court, everyone eventually ended up with a “ghost building” view instead. (Multiple societies)
4. Never complete all the towers, so that the RWA cannot be formed. Forming an RWA requires a certain percentage of owners to receive the Occupancy Certificate (OC). Until then, the builder continues controlling everything and can charge whatever they want in the name of DG backup, electricity, maintenance, etc.
5. Sell apartments using dreams of a world-class clubhouse. Then once the project is completed, start charging residents an additional yearly membership fee to use the same clubhouse that was part of the original sales pitch. I think this happened in one of the projects in Noida.
6. Offer schemes like “No EMI till possession.” Builders lured buyers with deferred payment plans where the buyer only paid 10–20% upfront, while banks released the bulk of the loan directly to the developer. Then the builder suddenly stopped paying the promised pre-EMIs to the banks. Since the home loan was legally in the buyer’s name, the banks bypassed the builder entirely and started demanding EMIs from the buyers.
7. Launch projects under prestigious conglomerate fmcg brand names etc. Then before completion, the big brand quietly exits or sells its stake. Buyers are left dealing with the same old local scamsters.
8. Get construction halted using conveniently timed “farmer agitation” court cases or land disputes — often indirectly orchestrated by the builder themselves.
9. Construction-linked payment plans are another classic. Payments are collected based on construction progress, but 70–80% of the money is taken during the early structural stages. The actual expensive work — finishing, plumbing, tile work, interiors, fittings — comes much later. Once most of the money is collected, delays begin.

The reality in India is simple: the people with money hold all the power. In construction, builders operate with thousands of crores at stake. The middle class can do almost nothing. Builders can influence politicians, bureaucracy, lawyers, judges, media, local goons, bank officials — everyone. You are nobody in comparison. All you can do is cry, suffer, and tell yourself “Bhagwan ko yahi manzoor tha.”

I followed the NCR real estate market closely since the late 2000s, and thankfully I was always too scared to buy anything. Because of that, I’ve seen almost every scam in the book without personally getting trapped. Hundreds of my peers got stuck in these situations.

I was lucky instead to invest in the stock market, which worked out well over the last decade and, comparatively, had far fewer scams after the last recession. At least I have something tangible to show for it. Most importantly, I don’t carry that lingering feeling of being cheated by builders and real-estate mafias.

Honestly, one of the reasons I moved to the US was because I got exhausted by these scams. I had decided that if I ever bought property in India, it would only be direct land resale transactions.

By comparison, I bought a house in the US within two weeks — without even stepping into a court. The chances of fraud were limited. Everything, including the title, is insured. So even if some unknown legal issue appears later, someone else is financially liable for it, not me.

Wanted to compile all the scams i have seen in real estate over the years. I typed this in a comment somewhere. Anyone else having more experiences, please add to the list 😃

My list is primarily from NCR. The level of innovation in scams there is unreal.

1. Builders sold more parking spots than actually existed with each apartment (~₹1 lakh per parking, I think). So no parking was officially assigned. Slowly, as more residents moved in, people realized the total parking available was far less than what was promised.
2. Get approval for, say, 12 floors and then build 16. This wasn’t an exception in NCR — it was practically the rule. The idea was to later pay a penalty to the authority and get the extra floors regularized. Meanwhile, the top floors were sold to buyers who often didn’t even realize they were illegal. Once this scam became common knowledge, builders started offering discounts on top floors. (Multiple projects in Noida and Noida Extension)
3. Almost every society built in Noida in 2000s 2010s has 1–2 “ghost towers.” The original layout would advertise “park-facing,” “pool-facing,” or “green-facing” apartments — usually with extra charges. Later, the builder would construct additional towers in those same open areas to squeeze more money out of the project. When residents went to court, everyone eventually ended up with a “ghost building” view instead. (Multiple societies)
4. Never complete all the towers, so that the RWA cannot be formed. Forming an RWA requires a certain percentage of owners to receive the Occupancy Certificate (OC). Until then, the builder continues controlling everything and can charge whatever they want in the name of DG backup, electricity, maintenance, etc.
5. Sell apartments using dreams of a world-class clubhouse. Then once the project is completed, start charging residents an additional yearly membership fee to use the same clubhouse that was part of the original sales pitch. I think this happened in one of the projects in Noida.
6. Offer schemes like “No EMI till possession.” Builders lured buyers with deferred payment plans where the buyer only paid 10–20% upfront, while banks released the bulk of the loan directly to the developer. Then the builder suddenly stopped paying the promised pre-EMIs to the banks. Since the home loan was legally in the buyer’s name, the banks bypassed the builder entirely and started demanding EMIs from the buyers.
7. Launch projects under prestigious conglomerate fmcg brand names etc. Then before completion, the big brand quietly exits or sells its stake. Buyers are left dealing with the same old local scamsters.
8. Get construction halted using conveniently timed “farmer agitation” court cases or land disputes — often indirectly orchestrated by the builder themselves.
9. Construction-linked payment plans are another classic. Payments are collected based on construction progress, but 70–80% of the money is taken during the early structural stages. The actual expensive work — finishing, plumbing, tile work, interiors, fittings — comes much later. Once most of the money is collected, delays begin.

The reality in India is simple: the people with money hold all the power. In construction, builders operate with thousands of crores at stake. The middle class can do almost nothing. Builders can influence politicians, bureaucracy, lawyers, judges, media, local goons, bank officials — everyone. You are nobody in comparison. All you can do is cry, suffer, and tell yourself “Bhagwan ko yahi manzoor tha.”

I followed the NCR real estate market closely since the late 2000s, and thankfully I was always too scared to buy anything. Because of that, I’ve seen almost every scam in the book without personally getting trapped. Hundreds of my peers got stuck in these situations.

I was lucky instead to invest in the stock market, which worked out well over the last decade and, comparatively, had far fewer scams after the last recession. At least I have something tangible to show for it. Most importantly, I don’t carry that lingering feeling of being cheated by builders and real-estate mafias.

Honestly, one of the reasons I moved to the US was because I got exhausted by these scams. I had decided that if I ever bought property in India, it would only be direct land resale transactions.

By comparison, I bought a house in the US within two weeks — without even stepping into a court. The chances of fraud were limited. Everything, including the title, is insured. So even if some unknown legal issue appears later, someone else is financially liable for it, not me.

Edit: Mods should pin it to the subreddit. Unless mods are real estate brokers as well.

This is new for me. Parents are basically poor and never were able to have anything to show for than providing basic food and free education in a missionary school. School life sucked because everyone knew i was poor and studied for free because my parents poor. I worked hard to get into IIT. Even my basic education was mostly free.

I sacrificed most of my childhood as a project to bring family out of poverty. This has obviously made me very bitter because my dad did not let me have a normal childhood as they did not want to "spoil" their only hope. So no cricket, no normal stuff. On top they failed miserably at providing study support as well to the point that I would even think twice before buying books while in college.

Now I am settled in US and have some money to show for. I am married like my siblings. Who aren't doing as good as me financially, though they are married to a government employee so stable otherwise. On top one of my sibling is in corporate but has spoiled their life being a crybaby. I personally am gifted with a special child, and an abusive spouse. At this point I am numb on life living day one at a time.

The problem is being an only son I am somehow responsible for all the expenses my parents do. Which honestly is more about the gifts they have to provide to sisters and to their damad. Or my dad's weird vanity projects or money wastage. I paid for parents major surgeries in early career, could not go for higher studies because of being the insurance for a financial failed household.

Being in US, i visit very infrequently to home. Still i have arranged financial investments which help parents with their monthly expenses.

Now my sibling know i am rich when calculated in INR. Their spouses also have passed comments on how the family house has to be divided in all siblings, while they never think of money i have spent all these years on parents.

Now for the first time one of the sibling is asking for significant monetary help.

I am bitter enough. But how do i turn them down?

By law of averages, some of us will fk the retirement planning, doing bad investments, underestimating the chaos life can throw at us.
So I wonder how people get courage to leave employment and employability to stay at home?

By law of averages, some of us will fk the retirement planning, doing bad investments, underestimating the chaos life can throw at us.
So I wonder how people get courage to leave employment and employability to stay at home?

This is as per chat gpt. Not me saying

And 2.5 is needed without car and home emi. - Family of husband+wife+1child+parents
Can someone comment if this is an overestimate? Assume tier1 - hyd/blr/ncr

Category	Estimated Monthly
Groceries + household	₹40k–60k
Utilities + internet + phones	₹12k–20k
Fuel/Uber/maintenance	₹15k–30k
Domestic help	₹15k–35k
Child school + activities	₹35k–80k
Eating out + entertainment	₹20k–40k
Health insurance + medical buffer	₹20k–35k
Parents support/medical reserve	₹20k–60k
Travel sinking fund	₹40k–80k
Misc + lifestyle creep	₹30k–60k

Total

• Comfortable: ~₹2.5 lakh/month
• Quite good lifestyle: ~₹3–3.5 lakh/month
• Very premium but not ultra-rich: ₹5 lakh+/month

₹4.5 lakh/month by age 45

Possible range:

• Conservative lifestyle inflation: ₹4.2L/month
• Realistic upper-middle-class inflation: ₹4.5–5L/month
• If schooling/healthcare explode faster: ₹5.5L+

This suddenly feels too much to be honest.

As per chat gpt

And 2.5 is needed without car and home emi. - Family of husband+wife+1child+parents

Can someone comment if this is an overestimate? i dont live in india. so not updated on latest. what would you say is realistic?

Category	Estimated Monthly
Groceries + household	₹40k–60k
Utilities + internet + phones	₹12k–20k
Fuel/Uber/maintenance	₹15k–30k
Domestic help	₹15k–35k
Child school + activities	₹35k–80k
Eating out + entertainment	₹20k–40k
Health insurance + medical buffer	₹20k–35k
Parents support/medical reserve	₹20k–60k
Travel sinking fund	₹40k–80k
Misc + lifestyle creep	₹30k–60k

Total

• Comfortable: ~₹2.5 lakh/month
• Quite good lifestyle: ~₹3–3.5 lakh/month
• Very premium but not ultra-rich: ₹5 lakh+/month

₹4.5 lakh/month by age 45

Possible range:

• Conservative lifestyle inflation: ₹4.2L/month
• Realistic upper-middle-class inflation: ₹4.5–5L/month
• If schooling/healthcare explode faster: ₹5.5L+

This suddenly feels too much to be honest.

I work at one of the FAANGS. I have been following the evolution of AI based tools since 2022.

Initially when it was launched chatgpt was a meh tool. It dint do a job as good as a human.

Now Claude and others are mindblowing. And they are evolving at a insane speed, doing things which they weren't able to do a month back.

Today these tools can write code(meh), review code, create software designs, write tech documents, do analysis, search requirements.. every fkking thing.

Now obvious question many would ask is someone still needs to feed the prompts.

That is where an experienced software engineer will tell you the reality of software companies.

In every company typically 1% people are like 100xers, 5% are 10xers and rest just are doing the job. So the top engineers decide what to do, 10xers are so much in love with their job, that they will do the work, irrespective of what they are paid. The only limiting thing for them was the hierarchal process, the limit of time, complexity of having to deal with other 95% normies.

This is how literally all of software industry works, in India, in US.. everywhere.

The ratio of how many are 100xers vs 10xers vs normies can change across companies. But usually the buckets exist.

Now the fun part is AI has enabled 10xers to do a lot more and 100xers to do hell lot more, without waiting for the normies to do something in weeks or months. They can literally have multiple implementations, even redundant ones done and then choose which one to pick at fractional cost.

This poses a very big risk to a lot of the software engineers in India, especially ones living in tech centers in BLR or HYD. Unfortunately the property prices are still like its 2021 covid boom. But jobs will become scarcer and scarcer. And re learning new skills isnt always possible for people who are accustomed to work a particular way.

At best there is a rubber band effect, which means it will be few years before everything goes downhill. All the people sitting and slacking in xyz companies fixing a bug in weeks, analyzing code for 2 weeks and making one line change, making a UI button blue etc will be out of job sooner than you imagine.

Eventually this can lead to a big real estate prices drop if people, especially older folks, decide to wrap their bags and move back to hometowns with whatever they have accumulated.