So I started my account a week ago. I have uploaded 10 posts by now. It's a quote account, not a generic one where I just keep repeating famous quotes, no. I keep testing different formats. I even changed my account bio and pfp but almost all of them got like on average 2 views and 0 viewer. The images are of high quality. I am using apt hashtags but nothing is working, literally nothing 😭😭😭
I went through my first breakup recently and I’ve been trying to understand where things actually went wrong.
Early in the relationship, we both became very restrictive with each other. She didn’t want me talking to any girls, so I blocked basically every girl I knew. I also became restrictive from my side and didn’t want her talking to guys either. At that time she was isolated and agreed to it.
Later she moved to a new place, met new people, and told me she regretted restricting me earlier and wanted both of us to open up socially. She said I could talk to girls again and hoped I would understand her wanting to talk to new people too.
But for me that sudden change was really hard to accept because I had already changed myself a lot for the relationship and got emotionally very attached to the rules we built around it. We fought badly after that, she eventually blocked me, and said she didn’t feel safe about our future anymore.
Recently I came across her Instagram and suddenly she had a huge social circle and a lot of new followers, and honestly it left me feeling confused about everything that happened.
Now I’m trying to understand relationships in a healthier way so I don’t repeat the same mistakes again.
What actually are healthy boundaries in a relationship?
How do you know if a boundary is reasonable or unhealthy?
How do you enforce boundaries without becoming controlling?
And how do you build a relationship where both people stay emotionally stable and still have their own lives outside the relationship?
I was in a 3-year relationship. We met in 9th grade during online classes and got together super quickly 😭 Over time I got deeply attached, but early on I already feared that if she ever left, it would destroy me.
For years she kept saying stuff like: “I hate all guys.” “I only need you.” So naturally I became emotionally dependent on her. I even lost contact with most girls because she was uncomfortable with it. She also used to give suicidal threats whenever I tried leaving, so I stayed… and fell harder in love 😭
Then 2 months ago she shifted apartments and joined a new school. On our anniversary I sent her a heartfelt card, and later she suddenly texted: “I want to hangout with guys too and be socially normal.” (the actual message was polite but 😭 i don't know I just couldn't take it)
I completely broke 😭 I reacted badly, apologized all night, and then she blocked me permanently.
What hurt was the hypocrisy. For 3 years she restricted me socially, then suddenly says: “You can be socially active again, I realized my mistake.”
Then before breakup she casually mentioned some random guy as her “friend” even though I had never heard of him before 😭 When I questioned it, she got defensive.
Today she unblocked me and apologized for her behavior, but when I asked about “us,” she sounded completely unsure.
And honestly maybe I was controlling too. But what hurts is that SHE convinced me for years that I was the only one she needed, then suddenly everything flipped.
I saw her instagram yesterday and she has double the followers I had. I didn't know a single person in her followers list and the account was recently created right after the breakup.
I am overwhelmed by emotions and cannot think properly. I don't know who is right or who is wrong here. 😭 But the experience is just too painful, bitter and ugly.
I feel she held onto me when she was lonely and left me when she found new social circle as per her convinence.