u/Pagesbypriyal

Hi , I am Priyal ;)

Welcome to my little corner of the internet . I am truly happy you are here , Every person carries a universe within them - a collection of dreams , memories , questions and quiet moments that shape who they become . This blog is where i choose to share mine . before we explore other fascinating stories , let me introduce you to the girl behind the words .

I am a biotechnology student with a curious mind , a dreamer 's heart and a diary that is filled with thoughts no one else has ever read . I have a heart that believes that there is always more to life than what meets the eye . I have always found myself standing between two worlds - one driven by science and logic , the other by faith , spirituality and self discovery . While biotechnology helps me understand how life works , spirituality reminds me why it matters . To me , these words do not contradict each other , they complement each other .

BUT PERHAPS THE BIGGEST PART OF WHO I AM IS SOMETHING MUCH SIMPLER

I have been writing diaries since i was in 6th standard . what began as a place to record my days slowly became a home for my thoughts , dreams , questions , fears , little victories and everything i do not want to say out loud , Looking back at those pages did not just preserve memories - they capture the person i was becoming .

THIS BLOG IS AN EXTENSION OF THOSE DIARIES

This blog is where i will share my journey through science , spirituality , dreams , friendships and the little moments that make life meaningful . I do not claim to have everything figured out , i am simply someone who loves asking questions , learning from experiences and finding meaning in both ordinary and extraordinary .

If my words make you pause , smile , think differently , or simply feel a little less alone , then this blog have achieved exactly what i hoped it would . This space reflects who i am - curious , ambitious , deeply reflective , and someone who finds joy and energy in every new experience .

So , welcome once again ..... I am excited to have you here

With Love ,

Priyal
https://www.reddit.com/u/Pagesbypriyal/s/uXnDj8Oko7

I have fabulous friends. The kind who show up, who laugh with me until it hurts, who I would trust with almost anything I carry. And still, sometimes I feel alone. Sometimes I feel like no one truly understands me. For a long time I thought these two truths could not exist together. If my friendships are real, why do I still feel this way? But I do not see it as a contradiction anymore. I think it is simply what it means to be a person with a full inner world.

I am writing this as someone who has spent years filling diary pages with things I never said out loud, so maybe it makes sense that I would eventually notice the difference between two feelings that look almost identical from the outside, but feel nothing alike on the inside.

Loneliness is an ache. It is the feeling of wanting to be known and coming up empty, even in a room full of people who love you. It sits heavy, like a question no one is answering.

Solitude is different. It is quiet, not empty. It is the space where I sit with my own thoughts without needing anyone to fill it for me. No one has to say the right thing, because in that space, I am not waiting for anyone to. As a biotechnology student, I spend my days studying how cells exist quite fine on their own before they ever connect to anything else. Maybe that is what solitude is too - not a broken piece, just a complete one, waiting.

What I have slowly realised is that most of what I feel is not loneliness at all. It is solitude, wearing loneliness's clothes because I did not yet know its real name. And once I could tell the difference, I stopped being afraid of the quiet.

No one person has to hold all of me. One friend understands my humour. Another knows the version of me that overthinks everything at 1 a.m. Someone else has never even met the part of me that shows up here, on this page, between science and faith, trying to make sense of both. That used to feel like a gap. Now it feels honest. Expecting one friendship to hold every version of me was always going to fall short - not because my friends are not enough, but because I have never been a person who fits inside one box, one label, one relationship.

I want to be clear, this is not a sad post. I am not writing it from a place of hurt. I am writing it because I have realised that feeling occasionally alone, even surrounded by people I love deeply, does not mean something is wrong with me or with them. Logic tells me I have proof - good friends, real bonds, memories that matter. Faith tells me it is okay to still feel this quiet ache sometimes, that growth and connection are not supposed to erase every lonely moment, they are just supposed to sit beside it.

There is one person, though, who is wonderful in a way I do not even have the right words for. That person fully knows me - not the edited version, not the "responsible one" version, all of me - and somehow chooses to stay anyway. I love venting to that person, spilling every unfinished thought without editing it first. Some nights all I actually need is a hug, not a conversation, and even without saying it, that person just knows. Even on the nights I say things I probably should not have, shaped by a hard day or a heavy mind, I always find my way back. That kind of steady, unconditional presence is rare, and I do not take a single bit of it for granted.

Every now and then, an old fear whispers that even this could go away. And on those days, I catch myself pulling back a little, not because I do not trust that person, but because some part of me is still learning how to fully trust good things when they last. It is a small, passing thing though - a flicker, not a pattern - and it never changes how grateful I am for having someone who knows all of me and stays anyway.

So if you are also someone who is loved well and still feels unseen sometimes, I want you to know what I am only now learning myself: that feeling does not cancel out your friendships, and it does not mean you are broken. It might just mean you are someone who feels deeply, thinks endlessly, and occasionally needs a room of your own thoughts to simply exist in.

I do not need to be rescued from this feeling anymore. I only needed to understand it. And now that I do, it does not feel like loneliness. It feels like mine.

With Love,
Priyal

There is a version of me that exists only for other people. She has the answers ready before anyone asks the question. She remembers the due dates, the appointments, the "did you eat" texts, the small emotional weather of everyone around her. She is calm when things fall apart, because someone has to be. That version of me was born the day I became an elder sister, and honestly, I do not remember agreeing to the role. It was simply handed to me, the way your name is handed to you before you can even pronounce it.

Nobody sits the eldest daughter down and explains the job description. There is no orientation. You just slowly notice that you are the one who is trusted with the house keys, the one whose report card is treated as a family event, the one who is expected to "set an example" before you have even figured out what you believe in. You become responsible by default, not by choice, and somewhere in that process, a strange thing happens - you start mistaking your reliability for your entire identity.

I am writing this as a biotechnology student who spends her days trying to understand how life works at a cellular level, and yet some days I cannot explain my own feelings to myself. I can tell you how a cell divides, but I cannot always tell you why I feel like I am dividing myself into pieces - one piece for my family, one for my degree, one for my quiet spiritual questions, and somewhere, barely surviving, one small piece that is just... me. Still becoming. Still unsure. Still allowed to not know things.

The hardest part is that being "responsible" earns you a strange kind of loneliness. People come to you with their problems, never their doubts about you. They assume you are fine, because you have always managed to look fine. Nobody asks the eldest daughter, "but are you okay, actually?" - because she has spent years being the one who asks that question to everyone else. So her own confusion, her own unfinished sentences, her own diary pages full of "I don't know who I am yet" - they stay exactly there. In the diary. Unspoken. And yet, I do not write this with resentment. I write this because I think it is time I stopped performing certainty I do not always feel. I am allowed to be someone who has her life mostly together and still cries over a small mistake at 1 a.m. I am allowed to guide my younger ones and still text a friend at midnight asking, "do you think I'm doing life right?" Responsibility and confusion are not opposites. I am slowly learning they can sit in the same person, at the same time, without one cancelling out the other.

Some days I feel like biotechnology and spirituality again - my two worlds colliding here too. Logic says: you are capable, you have proof, look at everything you have handled. Faith says: it is okay to not have it handled, growth is not supposed to be linear, you are still allowed to be a work in progress even while others lean on you. I am learning to let both of these be true.

So if you are also the "responsible one" in your family - the eldest, the one who holds things together, the one everyone assumes is sorted - I want you to know something I am only now learning myself: being trusted with everyone else's peace does not mean you owe the world your own certainty. You are allowed to still be figuring yourself out. Quietly. Imperfectly. On your own time.

We are not fully-formed just because we act like it. We are simply doing our best to hold the weight gracefully, while secretly still becoming who we are meant to be. This one was specially for the eldest one's .

With Love,

Priyal

Hi , I am Priyal ;)

Welcome to my little corner of the internet . I am truly happy you are here , Every person carries a universe within them - a collection of dreams , memories , questions and quiet moments that shape who they become . This blog is where i choose to share mine . before we explore other fascinating stories , let me introduce you to the girl behind the words .

I am a biotechnology student with a curious mind , a dreamer 's heart and a diary that is filled with thoughts no one else has ever read . I have a heart that believes that there is always more to life than what meets the eye . I have always found myself standing between two worlds - one driven by science and logic , the other by faith , spirituality and self discovery . While biotechnology helps me understand how life works , spirituality reminds me why it matters . To me , these words do not contradict each other , they complement each other .

BUT PERHAPS THE BIGGEST PART OF WHO I AM IS SOMETHING MUCH SIMPLER

I have been writing diaries since i was in 6th standard . what began as a place to record my days slowly became a home for my thoughts , dreams , questions , fears , little victories and everything i do not want to say out loud , Looking back at those pages did not just preserve memories - they capture the person i was becoming .

THIS BLOG IS AN EXTENSION OF THOSE DIARIES

This blog is where i will share my journey through science , spirituality , dreams , friendships and the little moments that make life meaningful . I do not claim to have everything figured out , i am simply someone who loves asking questions , learning from experiences and finding meaning in both ordinary and extraordinary .

If my words make you pause , smile , think differently , or simply feel a little less alone , then this blog have achieved exactly what i hoped it would . This space reflects who i am - curious , ambitious , deeply reflective , and someone who finds joy and energy in every new experience .

So , welcome once again ..... I am excited to have you here

With Love ,

Priyal