Is it normal for a driving instructor to hit to hit you during lessons?
My parents found me a driving instructor because this is the year I finally want to get my driver's license. I recently graduated from college, and since I'm moving to another state in January, getting my license has become a priority.
During the first week of lessons, everything went well. After that, however, things started to change. My instructor regularly takes days to respond to my texts and phone calls, and he often ignores calls from my parents as well. Instead of scheduling lessons in advance, he'll suddenly text me saying, "Let's meet today." Because of his poor communication, I can barely plan my week. Even when I ask what time we're meeting, he often doesn't respond until the day before—or sometimes even the day of—the lesson.
I expected that a driving instructor might occasionally raise their voice. Driving can be stressful, and I understand that instructors need to correct mistakes quickly. What I did not expect was for him to become physical. During my most recent lesson, he repeatedly hit my shoulder and aggressively grabbed or pulled my hands while I was driving. He wasn't hitting me with enough force to leave a serious injury, but I could still feel a stinging sensation in my right shoulder afterward. More importantly, I don't believe any instructor should be putting their hands on a student unless it's absolutely necessary to prevent an immediate accident. My previous driving instructor never laid a finger on me, at least not that I remember.
Another issue is that he doesn't seem to provide the full lesson that I'm paying for. He claims each lesson lasts an hour, but he frequently arrives late and ends the lesson early. For example, one lesson didn't actually begin until around 10:40 because he arrived late, yet it ended around 11:18. Despite this, he still counted it as a full lesson from 10:30 to 11:30.
I haven't really talked to anyone about this because I'm conflicted. I don't think he would treat his other students this way, but regardless of whether that's true, I'm tired of being treated with so little respect especially when physical contact is involved.
Part of the reason this affects me so deeply is because I was hit frequently by my father while growing up. Now that I'm an adult, I don't want anyone putting their hands on me or making me feel small. I've spent years trying to rebuild my self-esteem, and I don't think being treated this way is healthy for me. I believe I deserve to be treated with basic respect and professionalism.
So I'm left wondering what the right decision is. Should I go back for one more lesson and clearly tell him that he is not to touch or hit me again? Or should I simply find a new driving instructor?
One more complication is that my instructor is friends with my parents, and we're all part of the same ethnic community. I don't want to create unnecessary drama or put my parents in an uncomfortable position. At the same time, I don't believe those relationships excuse his behavior. He should not be putting his hands on me especially without my consent.