used to think ‘not giving a fuck’ meant being detached. turns out it just means doing the thing, looking at the result, and not building an entire identity around what the number says.
6 downloads. fine. tomorrow i’ll try to get 7.
it sounds easygoing. it isn’t. it’s the single phrase most likely to kill a plan.
when one person says it, fine. when three people in an 8-person chat say it, nobody’s deciding. the one person who actually proposed a place is now responsible for picking the time, the night, the backup plan, and reading every “wait what about X” message that resets the conversation. they burn out. plan dies.
real flexibility is “pick a place, i’ll be there.” fake flexibility is refusing to weigh in and then complaining about wherever you end up.
i used to be the down-for-whatever guy. genuinely thought i was being chill. turns out i was offloading every decision onto whichever friend had the highest tolerance for logistics, and those friends were quietly getting tired of me.
(unrelated-ish — got annoyed enough at watching this dynamic kill plans that i built a free app where you drop a few options and friends tap to vote. no decision-pressure on any one person. on the app store. but mostly posting this because the down-for-whatever epidemic is real and i was part of it.)
if you go to UVM you know how this goes. it’s 10pm, group chat has 8 people in it, someone says ake’s, someone says rí rá, someone wants to go to nectar’s, someone’s pushing for a house party in the old north end, someone hasn’t responded in 20 minutes, and by the time anyone decides you’ve missed the window and end up at red square by default.
built Rally for this exact problem. you throw in the options, send one link, everyone taps their pick in 30 seconds — no account, no download. you see the votes live and just go where wins. works for bars, where to grab food after class, ski trips to stowe, whatever.
it’s free on the app store — would love to know if it actually clicks for UVM people, the going out scene up there has its own rhythm and I’m curious if this helps or not.