u/PartyHalf2250

I had a nice 3-hour visit w mom today.

She was asleep when I arrived. I went to the dining room for water and ice. When I returned, she opened her eyes.

She looked at me with warmth and love in her eyes. Then immediately asked ‘how long?’. I said at least a couple of hours. She smiled. She looked her hand for a moment, turned back to me and again asked ‘how long?’. Two more rounds of that and she was convinced I was staying.

I’m guessing she’s getting more pain meds because she barely complained about pain. Once she said her belly hurt.

She was in bed and said she had been for days. I asked her if it was her choice or theirs. She said they give her the choice and she has chosen bed.

I told her that her birthday is 7 weeks from today. She likes that it’s on a Saturday. Weekends are still important to her.

I asked her how old she’s gonna be. After a few moments of thought, she said 75. She was quite surprised to hear that she’s turning 90.

She laughed in disbelief. We both laughed because neither of us thought she’d even get this close to 90.

She knows she’s dying. She has said ‘I’m dying’ at least once in each of my more recent longer visits. I’m relieved that she’s accepting it and sad because I’ll miss her.

❤️🧡❤️

I had a nice 3-hour visit w mom today.

She was asleep when I arrived. I went to the dining room for water and ice. When I returned, she opened her eyes.

She looked at me with warmth and love in her eyes. Then immediately asked ‘how long?’. I said at least a couple of hours. She smiled. She looked her hand for a moment, turned back to me and again asked ‘how long?’. Two more rounds of that and she was convinced I was staying.

I’m guessing she’s getting more pain meds because she barely complained about pain. Once she said her belly hurt.

She was in bed and said she had been for days. I asked her if it was her choice or theirs. She said they give her the choice and she has chosen bed.

I told her that her birthday is 7 weeks from today. She likes that it’s on a Saturday. Weekends are still important to her.

I asked her how old she’s gonna be. After a few moments of thought, she said 75. She was quite surprised to hear that she’s turning 90.

She laughed in disbelief. We both laughed because neither of us thought she’d even get this close to 90.

She knows she’s dying. She has said ‘I’m dying’ at least once in each of my more recent longer visits. I’m relieved that she’s accepting it and sad because I’ll miss her.

❤️🧡❤️

I had a nice 3-hour visit w mom today.

She was asleep when I arrived. I went to the dining room for water and ice. When I returned, she opened her eyes.

She looked at me with warmth and love in her eyes. Then immediately asked ‘how long?’. I said at least a couple of hours. She smiled. She looked her hand for a moment, turned back to me and again asked ‘how long?’. Two more rounds of that and she was convinced I was staying.

I’m guessing she’s getting more pain meds because she barely complained about pain. Once she said her belly hurt.

She was in bed and said she had been for days. I asked her if it was her choice or theirs. She said they give her the choice and she has chosen bed.

I told her that her birthday is 7 weeks from today. She likes that it’s on a Saturday. Weekends are still important to her.

I asked her how old she’s gonna be. After a few moments of thought, she said 75. She was quite surprised to hear that she’s turning 90.

She laughed in disbelief. We both laughed because neither of us thought she’d even get this close to 90.

She knows she’s dying. She has said ‘I’m dying’ at least once in each of my more recent longer visits. I’m relieved that she’s accepting it and sad because I’ll miss her.

❤️🧡❤️

Spent an hour w mom after working my shift at Whole Foods. She was awake, conversational, in the present, and bright-eyed and smiling.

She asked for her phone, which was out of her reach. Once she had it, she attempted to call her best friend. I watched her as she mid-dialed the number. I helped her the second time and listened as she left an upbeat message.

She talked to me about how there are lots of new staff and the challenges that come with that.

She remembered the name of an old-timey actress that she wanted to read about - Paulette Goddard.

She said she got a haircut and wanted to know what I thought of it. I couldn’t tell because she had been in bed each time I visited in the last few days. All I could think was ‘how did she get a haircut?’

She told me that she made an appt for an eye exam. I asked why. She said that her eyes are strained because she watches a lot of tv and reads. She said she made the appt thru the facility and I didn’t need to do anything. Ok, mom.

I told her that Margaret let me know that she visited mom. Mom said ‘oh, I meant to tell you that. It was good to see her.’

The best part of our visit was when she said that she wished she could pick me and bring me into her bed so she could hug me. She barely finished the sentence before I had moved the phone and her box of tissue, whipped my glasses of my face, and reached my arms underneath her. We hugged until tears fell from my eyes.

I said ‘hugging is good for you’ and my mom replied with ‘and crying is good for you.’

She’s right. I’m the family crier. She often looks at me with wonder when I cry because she doesn’t cry. For her to acknowledge the love in my tears meant more than anything else in the world to me.

❤️🧡❤️

Spent an hour w mom after working my shift at Whole Foods. She was awake, conversational, in the present, and bright-eyed and smiling.

She asked for her phone, which was out of her reach. Once she had it, she attempted to call her best friend. I watched her as she mid-dialed the number. I helped her the second time and listened as she left an upbeat message.

She talked to me about how there are lots of new staff and the challenges that come with that.

She remembered the name of an old-timey actress that she wanted to read about - Paulette Goddard.

She said she got a haircut and wanted to know what I thought of it. I couldn’t tell because she had been in bed each time I visited in the last few days. All I could think was ‘how did she get a haircut?’

She told me that she made an appt for an eye exam. I asked why. She said that her eyes are strained because she watches a lot of tv and reads. She said she made the appt thru the facility and I didn’t need to do anything. Ok, mom.

I told her that Margaret let me know that she visited mom. Mom said ‘oh, I meant to tell you that. It was good to see her.’

The best part of our visit was when she said that she wished she could pick me and bring me into her bed so she could hug me. She barely finished the sentence before I had moved the phone and her box of tissue, whipped my glasses of my face, and reached my arms underneath her. We hugged until tears fell from my eyes.

I said ‘hugging is good for you’ and my mom replied with ‘and crying is good for you.’

She’s right. I’m the family crier. She often looks at me with wonder when I cry because she doesn’t cry. For her to acknowledge the love in my tears meant more than anything else in the world to me.

❤️🧡❤️

Spent an hour w mom after working my shift at Whole Foods. She was awake, conversational, in the present, and bright-eyed and smiling.

She asked for her phone, which was out of her reach. Once she had it, she attempted to call her best friend. I watched her as she mid-dialed the number. I helped her the second time and listened as she left an upbeat message.

She talked to me about how there are lots of new staff and the challenges that come with that.

She remembered the name of an old-timey actress that she wanted to read about - Paulette Goddard.

She said she got a haircut and wanted to know what I thought of it. I couldn’t tell because she had been in bed each time I visited in the last few days. All I could think was ‘how did she get a haircut?’

She told me that she made an appt for an eye exam. I asked why. She said that her eyes are strained because she watches a lot of tv and reads. She said she made the appt thru the facility and I didn’t need to do anything. Ok, mom.

I told her that Margaret let me know that she visited mom. Mom said ‘oh, I meant to tell you that. It was good to see her.’

The best part of our visit was when she said that she wished she could pick me and bring me into her bed so she could hug me. She barely finished the sentence before I had moved the phone and her box of tissue, whipped my glasses of my face, and reached my arms underneath her. We hugged until tears fell from my eyes.

I said ‘hugging is good for you’ and my mom replied with ‘and crying is good for you.’

She’s right. I’m the family crier. She often looks at me with wonder when I cry because she doesn’t cry. For her to acknowledge the love in my tears meant more than anything else in the world to me.

❤️🧡❤️

She had just finished with her bed bath when I arrived today. She looked bright-eyed and happy to see me. We smiled big at each other. She always asks ‘what time?,’ when arrive, which is a question about when I’m leaving. ‘I’m here until 9, even if you fall asleep’ She gave me an even bigger smile.

I brought her a small slice of pizza I made at home. Fresh thin round bread from the middle eastern grocery store as the base, home made pizza sauce, shredded mozzarella and few raw onions. She ate all of it except the crust. It makes my heart sing when she eats food I cooked.

After her snack, she asked about books to read. She loves to read auto/biographies about Jewish actress of yesteryear. The last book I got her was thick hard bound, and I think it was too heavy for her to hold.

I pulled up a page on my phone, and handed it to her. She scrolled, making comments about most of the people listed. No one on that list was of interested to her. I pulled up a different page and handed the phone back to her. She scrolled for about 20 minutes, which made me wonder what she was looking at. Turns out she had clicked a few links and was now looking at marvel studios action hero costumes.

I took the phone from her at her request. I started to write this story, and heard he make a sound. I looked up and she’d fallen asleep.

I’m here for another hour even tho I could leave and she wouldn’t know. I’m staying because my time with her is limited and I will miss her when she’s gone.

She had just finished with her bed bath when I arrived today. She looked bright-eyed and happy to see me. We smiled big at each other. She always asks ‘what time?,’ when arrive, which is a question about when I’m leaving. ‘I’m here until 9, even if you fall asleep’ She gave me an even bigger smile.

I brought her a small slice of pizza I made at home. Fresh thin round bread from the middle eastern grocery store as the base, home made pizza sauce, shredded mozzarella and few raw onions. She ate all of it except the crust. It makes my heart sing when she eats food I cooked.

After her snack, she asked about books to read. She loves to read auto/biographies about Jewish actress of yesteryear. The last book I got her was thick hard bound, and I think it was too heavy for her to hold.

I pulled up a page on my phone, and handed it to her. She scrolled, making comments about most of the people listed. No one on that list was of interested to her. I pulled up a different page and handed the phone back to her. She scrolled for about 20 minutes, which made me wonder what she was looking at. Turns out she had clicked a few links and was now looking at marvel studios action hero costumes.

I took the phone from her at her request. I started to write this story, and heard he make a sound. I looked up and she’d fallen asleep.

I’m here for another hour even tho I could leave and she wouldn’t know. I’m staying because my time with her is limited and I will miss her when she’s gone.

She had just finished with her bed bath when I arrived today. She looked bright-eyed and happy to see me. We smiled big at each other. She always asks ‘what time?,’ when arrive, which is a question about when I’m leaving. ‘I’m here until 9, even if you fall asleep’ She gave me an even bigger smile.

I brought her a small slice of pizza I made at home. Fresh thin round bread from the middle eastern grocery store as the base, home made pizza sauce, shredded mozzarella and few raw onions. She ate all of it except the crust. It makes my heart sing when she eats food I cooked.

After her snack, she asked about books to read. She loves to read auto/biographies about Jewish actress of yesteryear. The last book I got her was thick hard bound, and I think it was too heavy for her to hold.

I pulled up a page on my phone, and handed it to her. She scrolled, making comments about most of the people listed. No one on that list was of interested to her. I pulled up a different page and handed the phone back to her. She scrolled for about 20 minutes, which made me wonder what she was looking at. Turns out she had clicked a few links and was now looking at marvel studios action hero costumes.

I took the phone from her at her request. I started to write this story, and heard he make a sound. I looked up and she’d fallen asleep.

I’m here for another hour even tho I could leave and she wouldn’t know. I’m staying because my time with her is limited and I will miss her when she’s gone.

Sometimes when I visit my mom, she’s asleep when I arrived. In that initial moment, I debate with myself whether or not to wake her. I always choose to let her sleep. I know someone or something else will wake her.

Her skin is clearing up - the big purple splotches on her face are dissipating, and the bruising on her hands/forearm are clearing, as well.

She is twitchy and her arms will occasionally flail. She was hitting the top of the back of hand on her table, causing purple bruising and a raised spot on both of her hands.

The facility called hospice - that was the right thing to do. The next time I visited mom, the edges of her table were covered with a protective foam tape.

Yet, I see the changes in her. She’s sleeping more. She spends more days in bed than in her chair. She remembers less. she’s having a harder time breathing. She looks zonked out.

Sometimes when I visit my mom, she’s asleep when I arrived. In that initial moment, I debate with myself whether or not to wake her. I always choose to let her sleep. I know someone or something else will wake her.

Her skin is clearing up - the big purple splotches on her face are dissipating, and the bruising on her hands/forearm are clearing, as well.

She is twitchy and her arms will occasionally flail. She was hitting the top of the back of hand on her table, causing purple bruising and a raised spot on both of her hands.

The facility called hospice - that was the right thing to do. The next time I visited mom, the edges of her table were covered with a protective foam tape.

Yet, I see the changes in her. She’s sleeping more. She spends more days in bed than in her chair. She remembers less. she’s having a harder time breathing. She looks zonked out.