u/Patient-Parsley-2846

Today my almost 5-year-old asked me why she never has play dates. It broke my heart. We hang out with our friends who have children her age (and those kids are very much her friends as well!) probably every 2-3 weekends and she loves spending time with them, but I can tell she wants more socializing with friends. She’s on week 2 of the new school year and already asking for play dates with specific new friends.

I’m so bad at making mom friends and have a really hard time relating to other moms. I’m a bit younger than the other moms at her school (I’m 28 and most of the other parents are late 30s) and I present myself a lot more alternative than other parents (colored hair and tattoos, and I live in the Deep South where a lot of people avoid or look down on me) so it’s hard for me to connect with parents. People are very judgmental. I’ve even had a parent ask me if “the dad is involved” minutes after meeting me (yeah I’m married to her dad!)

Additionally, with the way her school is set up there’s very little interaction between parents at drop off and pick up. So I don’t even know how to connect with other parents. Do I ask her teacher for her friends’ parents’ phone numbers? Do I write a note and ask for it to be put in her friend’s backpack? Her birthday is coming up and we’re not throwing a party this year but I was thinking about making goodie bags for her class and including little cards with my phone number for playdates? Is that stupid? I need some logistical advice with how to make this happen for my girl. I love her so much and I hate the idea of her being lonely. The idea of talking to other parents and possibly being rejected makes me super anxious but I’ll do anything to mitigate her only-child loneliness :(

Child in question is young (pre-k/kinder I believe) What are your thoughts on not returning from an extended trip until after the first week of school is over? I'm not talking about "non refundable Disney vacation", I mean "roadtrip to stay with folks for a few weeks".

I feel like it's setting your child up to be left out and not caught-up socially and academically. Everyone else has learned the routine and made new friends and now the child joining in week two will surely be at a disadvantage right? I haven't and wouldn't consider letting my children skip the first week or two of school for any reason other than sickness or some kind of emergency.

Am I overreacting? Obviously it's none of my business, I was just surprised by my own knee-jerk negative reaction to the situation and am wondering what others think.

If you have sold kids clothes at any of the OUAC locations in Jax, which once have been the most fair with pricing? Some of the reviews are pretty concerning.

Hi all! Sorry for the lack of technical terms here, my husband is the car person in our family and he left for a trip this morning. Impeccable timing.

Today my battery light came on. I ran some errands and on the way home all my dash lights came on and I could barely move the steering wheel. Was able to make it home. Couldn’t get the car to start again.

Replaced the battery, no dice. Replaced the alternator and it’ll turn on but won’t stay on.

Any ideas? I know this is vague, sorry. I’m just panicking a bit since my partner is traveling and I haven’t been able to talk to him about it and I now have no car.

Let me start by acknowledging I know my feelings are my own problem and everyone is more than entitled to grown their family if/when/how they want to.

Where I live, it’s relatively uncommon to have be OAD unless it’s for medical reasons. And even then, the immediate response is “have you considered fostering?” (As if that’s a solution to the situation and not an entirely separate thing). I live in the southeast US where most people are more conservative Christian and very much believe in “be fruitful and multiply”. The cultural standard here is to have at least 3 kids. 2 is passable but “selfish”, and 1 is just bizarre to people.

We are OAD partially by choice. Finances are huge reason. The second largest reason being I help care for my elderly father and I simply would not be able to balance a newborn and helping out with him. My husband and I also both have ADHD and know we likely would greatly struggle with executive function if we added a 4th member to the family. Our daughter is 4.5 and she is absolutely fantastic. I often tell people we struck gold the first time and are truly happy as a family of 3.

I would absolutely LOVE to have another baby. We tried for about 2 1/2 years for a second and only have one chemical to show for it. I want to be pregnant again, I want to breastfeed again, I want my child to have a sibling. But I know being more financially secure and being a more capable parent to one child is better than struggling with two. I’m just still grieving the second child I desperately wanted.

I have a handful of mom friends (more like acquaintances) in my life who initially claimed to be OAD by their own admission, not necessarily because they know I’m OAD, who are now on their second or third kid. Does anyone else deal with the frustration or feeling of betrayal when other parents around you hop off the OAD “bandwagon”? It just feels very invalidating, and to be honest makes me feel a bit jealous at times. I absolutely love babies, I want everyone to feel secure and fulfilled in their own families.

I have a friend who was staunchly OAD throughout her pregnancy and into her child’s first year of life. I have always been nothing but supportive of her, I really don’t share my negative feelings about “former OAD parents” to anyone. She recently told me she’s considering trying for a second and asked me if I would still be her friend if she wasn’t OAD anymore because she “hates people who lie about being OAD” (even though I guess she’s one of them now? Lol). I told her I would be happy for her and my own feelings about it aren’t relevant, I would always support her!

I know I still need to do my own inner work on my feelings with being OAD. But how? Will these feelings go away as I become more confident in my decision? I hate feeling this way about people I care about. But I’m just so tired of feeling so lonely and constantly left in the dust by people having more babies. I feel like I’m in school and keep repeating the same grade and my friends no longer relate to me. I desperately wish I could move to a more urban, less conservative area where being OAD is more common.

Idk what advice I’m really looking for or if I’m just venting. All comments and perspectives welcome. Just a reminder though that I know my feeling towards these other parents is not fair- you don’t need to remind me and tell me I’m in the wrong. I want to work on it. I just need help.

My daughter has an early fall birthday after our district’s cut off so she will always be one of the oldest in her class. She will be nearly 5 when the new school year starts and will be in a combined pre-k & kinder class. Her teacher plans to include her in the kinder curriculum as long as she (daughter) is capable and comfortable with it.

What are some things I can do over the summer to prepare? Any work book suggestions?

She is proficient in writing and spelling her own name, can recognize most letters and letter sounds (about 90% accuracy), can count to 20 on her own and up to 100 with a little help, and can do basic addition with single digit numbers