r/kindergarten

This sounds awful and I know it does…but I’m wondering if anyone else feels the same way…

I grew up and succeeded in just about every aspect of my life without even trying. Straight As, fantastic dancer, talented gymnast. Didn’t have ANY confidence at school socially. Was a total loser and that did affect me BUT i had SO much confidence in my ability to DO things.

My daughter is 5 and in kindergarten. She is struggling HARD in school. Cannot even recognize numbers 1-10. Second year ballet and looks like she has no clue. Trying tennis this year….oof rough. Gymnastics….so uncoordinated.

I obviously love her and encourage her and tell her I’m proud of how hard she works. But I’m nervous she is just going to struggle in every aspect of her life and I can’t or don’t know how to help her.

I can’t help but think I have done something to do this to her. Like letting her eat poor quality foods or too much screen time. I let her suck her thumb til she was 4 and she has a high palate and mouth breathes. It’s been a year of myo therapy and a palate expander. I just have so much guilt and I’m terrified of her struggling so hard with no relief.

Editing to add that I am in no way disappointed in her. I just worry for her own self confidence. I want her to succeed for her own gratification of working hard and achieving. I also have an 18 yr old with a nasty case of adhd. And he is getting by by the skin of his teeth. We are counting down the days til he graduates so he can move on and succeed in life. I know he will. I have zero doubts. But school is torture for him and he just has to “make it through”. I don’t want that struggle for her too.

My LO will be having a birthday soon. She would like to invite her classmates. She is still learning names and all that as the school year is fairly new. I would love if there was a way to invite all the girls in her class, but I don't know how I'd do that. I do not see parents after school, as lots of kids ride the bus and others go directly to an after-school program.

I'd love a teacher's perspective on this. I really don't want to burden her teacher with invites. I'm guessing I would need to invite her entire class and above all, I want to stay in the teacher's good graces and do not want to hurt feelings.

My daughter is excited to have classmates invited but I'm almost tempted to just tell her maybe next year when we've forged some friendships and get some time to exchange names and numbers. I do not have access to a class roster like I did when my other kid had a calendar for snack rotation.

If you are a teacher, what are your thoughts? What would you suggest? If you are a parent, what did you do in a similar situation? Thanks in advance :)

We were reading a sonic comic, for reference it’s one about a character named soleil who is in a circus and whose parents have too high expectations for him so he runs away.

After, my 5 year old told me he doesn’t like himself. He wishes he were perfect and didn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t like that he doesn’t know anything and that he has to sound words out.

We do a lot of “it’s ok to make mistakes” and “you can’t get good without mistakes” and you HAVE to make mistakes, mommy and daddy make mistakes etc. etc. So, I try to normalize that. I try to praise effort. Dad is less good at that.

Anyway does this sound normal or do I have some maladaptive perfectionism going on?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for recommendations for a good private kindergarten for my daughter, who has a speech delay, in and around the Bay Area, California.

We’re hoping to find a school with patient, understanding teachers who can provide a nurturing and supportive environment and help her learn and communicate at her own pace.

We’re open to regular private schools, including Catholic schools, but are not looking for specialized special education schools.

If you have any recommendations or personal experiences with schools that support children with speech delays, please share them in the comments. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you so much ❤️

Apologies up front if this is a long one. Background info: one kiddo who is 6.5 years old (April 2020 birthday). I'm divorced; Dad is in the picture regularly, but defaults major decisions like school to me. Kiddo initially did Kindergarten at a Montessori school, but the class was ages 3-6, and the average age of the class skewed younger last year.

This year, I enrolled my kiddo into a public school, into 1st grade based on age. I knew they were struggling with academics. They hadn't written their entire name, they were struggling with letter identification and sounds, and reading was definitely not happening.

At the end of the last school year, I attempted to talk to their kindergarten teacher to get a gauge on where they were at in the classroom (cause kids can be different at home, right?), to know if I should enroll them in kindergarten or 1st for the coming year. The teacher basically told me, "Well, yeah, that's a tough decision... Good luck!" So, no real guidance on whether I should re-enroll them in kindergarten for a second year, or if they were ready for 1st.

School year starts 4 weeks ago. Current teacher pulls me into a meeting; tells me they are failing in literally every category academically. School counselor calls me; tells me they are very very worried because of the recent evaluations they'd done. My kid is testing/evaluating at the pre-k and kinder level. The school counselor suggests moving them to Kinder now, to give them all year to get the basics. In a strange turn of events, the school had just hired a new kinder teacher and they were going to be shuffling up all the classes anyways next week. So moving my kid would happen at the same time that ALL the other kinder kids would be moving.

To do so, I have to meet with school admin (current teacher, counselor, principal, assistant principal). I go into the meeting thinking we are all on the same page. AP starts the meeting re-iterating that my kid is failing in literally every metric. Then she goes on to say that the school doesn't advise retaining/moving him because there can be behavioral issues down the line. I ask if any of the special programs they offer will actually bring my kid up to where they should be, and the answer is essentially no. AP continues to try to talk me out of moving my child, even though it's clear that they are failing every academic metric.

They make me sign a form saying that I'm retaining/moving my kid to Kindergarten against their endorsement, but that they will follow a parent's request.

Ya'll. I am so gutted. I left their office and didn't even make it to my car before I was sobbing. My ex and I have done so much at home to try to get our kid there. Academic games on the iPad, the Hooked on Phonics program, tons of book reading, trying to sit with workbooks at home, trying to help them learn to write at home. My kid just isn't interested in this stuff and has fought it from day 1.

When I enrolled them for this year, my gut was telling me they should do kindergarten a second year. But I didn't want them to be that "old kid" in class. I hoped that maybe they had the info in their brain and we just weren't necessarily seeing it at home. But then when school confirmed that they didn't have it at school either, it seemed like the obvious choice was to move them back to kinder to get another year of the basics down.

Have I made a massive mistake? Should I have left them in 1st and hoped they would catch up? The AP at the school makes me feel like I just made the absolute worst mistake for my child. Does anyone have any similar experience?

A bit of context - my five year old has come home from school a couple of times and mentioned confrontations or arguments with one specific classmate. I’ve cautioned him to either not engage with this child or to tell an adult if the child is making mine feel a certain type of way. We reached out to the staff (teachers aids) regarding this other child and they confirmed that this child can be problematic in class and has a tendency to be mean with words.

On Friday night, we received a message from the teacher saying that our kid had a hard day and had two separate confrontations with a child (didn’t name the child in her message) - she said the child told my kid that he didn’t like him. Apparently my kid got upset so much that the adults intervened and the child apologized to my kid. Soon after at recess, my kid and a few others were pulling my kid and my kid vocalized that he didn’t like that but the others kept pulling. It resulted in “physical fighting” and my kid was taken to the “calming corner” to calm down.

When we asked our kid about the incidents, he consistently named the same child that he’s had prior issues with.

Related / separate grievance: A couple weeks ago my kid came home from school with a significant bruise on his face. We only noticed it at dinner time (probably originally thought it was dirt or a smudge) - when we asked him about it he said he fell on the playground. We messaged his teacher and she responded back late at night and said she acknowledged that she saw my child after he fell and he seemed ok and didn’t want to go to the office for meds or ice. Even more concerning was the teacher speculated that my child may have been pushed off the play structure, resulting in the injury. When we asked our kid about it, he didn’t mention being pushed. The bruise lasted on his face for about two weeks.

Prior to the face bruise, last year we got a call that our kid hit his head on the playground and went to the office to received aid and ice - I’m wondering why the same protocol wasn’t followed this time?

… all that being said, obviously I’m angry and upset that:

1. My child now has a pattern of having issues with the same kid and what is the school and staff doing to intervene? Are they talking to this kids family for each incident?

2. Why am I finding out about these incidents well after the school day is over on a Friday night, when we are always there during pickup? Shouldn’t a staff member have come out and talked to us or called us?

3. Why is there no consistent level of communication or treatment? They seemed to be better about this before but lately it’s like they’re brushing things under the rug.

We requested for an in person mtg with the teacher and principal. The principal is not good at being responsive so I fully expect to not hear back from him for a couple of days. How drastically should I escalate this? I’m ready to kick down the door and start raising hell but is that being dramatic?

My 5yo just started kindergarten. and I could really use some advice. She has sensory-seeking behaviors and was receiving OT, but we’ve used up the appointments covered by insurance for the year. She’s also being evaluated for an IEP at school.

She’s struggling with numbers, counting, and understanding worksheets, along with fine-motor skills like coloring and tracing. The problem is that she really fights me on doing any of these things at home. I’ve tried little circuits of counting, coloring, tracing, etc., but it turns into a battle every time. I quickly run out of patience and say, fuck it.

As a solo parent, my weekdays are packed, so weekends are really the only time I have to work on these things but I refuse to center my weekends around this.

I know she needs extra support, but I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and don’t know how to help a child who refuses to participate.

Parents who have been through this: what actually worked? Any low-prep, playful ways to work on counting, numbers, fine motor skills, etc. without it feeling like therapy or school? And how do you balance this as a parent with limited time and energy?

I’d really appreciate realistic advice, thanks.

I’m a mom of 5.5 year kindergartener. He is in a waistlist for autism evaluation . I volunteer in his clasroom everyday after their lunch until dismissal since he shows that by the afternoon his behaviors become difficult to handle. Me and the teacher have a great parent/teacher relationship and this opportunity has helped me establish stern boundaries on expectations during school and be able to continue those demands at home.

My question is regarding the use of iReady iPad activities. His class just finished their math assessment and today was the first day they each did a full math lesson on their own iPads . I wa able to see what the kids do and the coin system it gains by finishing lessons to then play a game on the platform.

Not sure if I’m a fan of this iReady tool but it’s something the school district does. However looking at my kid and honestly the whole classroom this kids answer most times had nothing to do with the shat the app asks . And not bc they aren’t intelligent . But the visuals vs instructions are not in a way that I consider coherent for 5year olds. Is there any teachers here that recommend the use of iReady lessons at home with a parent so the kid has an adult to slow things down and really explain what is being asked before clicking a random answer?

I’m an upper elementary teacher but I follow this sub. Have the number of students with behavior concerns in kindergarten always been this high, or are you seeing an increase?

It seems like the only thing that I ever see posted on this sub, are from parents expressing concerns about their kindergartners behavior in school. Throwing chairs, biting, hitting, etc.

Is this normal? Are more and more kids struggling with their behavior now than say 5, 10, 15 years ago? Does the number feel exacerbated here because it’s the internet? Please share your thoughts!

Note: I am NOT hating on parents here. It sounds like most of you are genuinely doing all that you can to help your students. I’m just wondering if the amount of students with these severe behaviors seems to be continuously increasing, or if this is this normal in kindergarten.

Hey everyone,

I am a father of five and my oldest will be starting kindergarten next week. My oldest is a very sweet girl but has been diagnosed with Level 2 Autism. She is very smart mentally but lacks social communication skills and social setting skills. She also has a tendency to say "No" and have mini tantrums when it doesn't go her way. We are proactive about correcting this behavior at home.

I guess I am just concerned how she will interact with other kids in school. Selfishly, I want my girl to have a "normal" school life but I know that is there isn't "normal". The school has an IEP and everything for her. I just don't want her to be "that kid" and become socially isolated or get in trouble at school.

Any advice? Just a father that wants the best for his big girl.

Hi! Does anyone have any recommendations for books that help kinder age kids learn about social skills?

Things like making friends, sharing toys, playing what others want to play, boundaries, big feelings, navigating boredom, being okay with attention, speaking up for what is right, nervous feelings, anxiety when speaking, being on a team, not being bossy, not speaking about someones looks, etc.

Ideally, it would be great to find books about things that some would find "second nature" and "basic". We have a community for helping children who need extra guidance.

My friends and I are trying to start a social skills book library for our community center.