u/Capakhutch

I was really worried about this school year because my two kids (5 and 3) fight me tooth and nail when trying to get them out the door. It was so painful last year and I felt like a drill sergeant and mornings were so stressful. My cousin introduced me to a visual checklist and I found one on Amazon for like $8 that the kids can carry around. It has words and pictures so if your kid can't read yet, they can look at the picture to know which step comes next. My daughter also hates being told what to do, has mild ODD, and may have ADHD so she gets distracted easily, but now our mornings are a BREEZE. I'm so freaking happy. She loves her checklist and I even got one for my 3 year old, which isn't going quite as well because he's still little, but he's also been less resistant to the morning routine than normal.

Just wanted to share with all of you just in case you also need your kids to take responsibility for their own routines in the morning. You can make a checklist and laminate it and use a dry erase marker or they have a ton of different ones you can buy online.

*Not asking for medical advice. We have already taken him to the vet to rule out medical reasons for his marking. The only thing we haven’t tried is anti anxiety meds. I’m asking what is the most humane option when it comes to getting him out of my house.*

Here’s a general timeline of my cat’s life.

2020 - Fostered him as a very young kitten and decided to adopt him. He was a very spunky and affectionate kitten and got along well with my 11 lb chihuahua mix

2021 - Had my first baby. Cat got along fine with her and was his normal self

2023 - Had my second baby. Cat was still fine.

2024 - Second baby started walking and was very interested in the cat. I did my best to try and keep them apart, but my son would sometimes chase him and he would freak out. He started spending most of his time hiding in my room when the kids were awake.

2025 - My dog was diagnosed with a serious autoimmune condition called IMHA. He was put on heavy immunosuppressants. Had a third baby.

Jan 2026 - Cat started attacking my dog randomly. He wouldn’t show any precursors to aggression and then all of a sudden sniff my dog and attack him. He scratched my dog’s ear badly and got an infection that landed him in the hospital.

We immediately started separating them. The cat would get free rein of the house at night and would be put in our room during the day. We thought this would work because our room was his preferred room anyway.

Soon after separating them, he started marking all over the places where my dog had been. There was pee everywhere. The playpen, the rocking chair, all over the couches, the dog’s bed, etc. We had to completely throw out our living room furniture. We used enzymatic cleaner and Feliway and nothing helped.

We then started trying to find him a new home. He’s a black adult cat and we live in Florida, so this was impossible. All rescues were full and we couldn’t stomach sending him to the shelter, so we decided that he was going to become a garage cat.

The garage has AC, insulated door, a window, chairs, a rug, cat tree, and toys. And the dog had never really been in there, so I thought it would be safe for him.

He was fine there for a few months, but he’s back to peeing on things, now in the garage. I don’t know what else to do. We’ve bent over backwards to try and keep this cat, but I’m at my limit and there’s no way we would be able to find him a home.

What’s the most humane option? I can’t make him an outdoor cat because it’s brutally hot here and we have coyotes. Our shelter is “no kill”, but will euthanize for cats that have major behavioral issues.

I don’t know what to do

I don’t want to sleep train but I desperately need sleep. Cosleeping doesn’t even help. She’s up the same frequency whether she’s in the crib or sleeping with me.

Please send help

I have 3 kids five and under. Ages are 5.5, 3.5, and 9 months. I am drowning. My oldest two are extremely difficult at home. I actually just took my oldest and youngest on a trip across the country without my husband and the entire trip, including flying alone with a baby and 5 year old, was less stressful than spending 2 hours at home with the three kids.

When my 3 year old and 5 year old are separated, life is pretty good. My 5 year old was such a joy on our trip and showed none of her usual behavior issues. My 3 year old was pretty whiny and cranky at home with my husband, but mainly because he kept fighting naps. His behavior was overall good.

Literally as soon as we walk into the door at home, the two oldest turn into demon children. Both will become extremely defiant, whiney, fight with each other, and need things from me every 2 minutes. This starts when they wake up and as soon as we are out the door and in the car ready to go somewhere, they completely calm down. They are generally pretty great in public.

Because of this stress and also being in survival mode with the discipline issues, I have been pretty miserable for 3 or so years and feel like I’ve lost time with my kids because I’m never present. I thought that life with 3 would be hard because of competing needs and just being super busy, but I never imagined having to listen to scream fits all day long that push me way beyond my ability to keep myself calm.

I can handle being super busy with laundry, cooking meals, changing diapers, etc., but the never ending discipline is killing me. I honestly wouldn’t have had my kids so close together if I would have known that it would be like this.

My oldest is starting kindergarten and I am mourning the loss of the past 3.5 years. I LOVED being a SAHM when she was little, but as soon as my son was born, I’ve never really left survival mode. She started having major emotional issues and defiance around 2, and now my son is joining her.

What sucks is that my kids are wonderful little people when they aren’t together. I don’t know what it is with the dynamic between my two oldest, but it’s absolutely miserable. I’m so sad that it’s caused me to not be able to soak up their young years and they are passing so quickly.

I feel like I made a horrible mistake having 3 kids close together in age and I feel like a horrible mom because I can’t handle the stress.

I’m so tired of yo yo dieting. Has anyone had success losing weight and keeping it off through just simple habit changes? I already enjoy going to the gym but want to slowly increase the intensity. I’m currently trying to prioritize adding protein and fiber to my meals instead of cutting back on certain foods and also just trying to make small changes that I can make into habits. For example, I got an iced coffee at the airport today with a splash of cream instead of a full blown sugary drink.

I feel like this it’s obvious that this is the best way to lose weight and keep it off, but I have a hard time not doing something structured. I’ve only ever had success with calorie counting but can’t stand it.

I have been a SAHM for about five years. I have three kids (5, 3, and 9 months). I absolutely loved it from the time my oldest was 10 months old until my second was born when she was 2. After that, everything started going downhill. I have struggled so much with mental health, snapping at my kids, discovered I have ADHD, and am constantly overwhelmed. My kids are poorly behaved, don't listen, and I yell a lot. I struggle to make healthy meals for the kids because they're extremely picky and I can't stand the conflicts.

I feel like I'm drowning. I wake up in the morning to constant demands and whining and it lasts all day. The two older kids fight constantly. I've done therapy. I'm on ADHD medication. Tried an SSRI and couldn't continue because it increased my anxiety so much. My oldest developed anxiety and selective mutism and we have a terrible relationship with constant power struggles and I'm worried it was my fault. I would get so frustrated with her when she was 2 and life was so unpredictable and I would snap over everything because my second baby was such a bad sleeper and I was in over my head.

I can't afford to hire help. I have a gym membership with childcare that's been amazing, but it's not enough. My house is a mess and laundry is in piles everywhere.

I love my kids deeply, but feel like I've stayed home for selfish reasons. I knew that kids can thrive in daycare, with a nanny, or with a SAHP, but I didn't want to miss time with them. I wanted to be the one to see first steps and witness the goofy things that they said. But instead, this is not at all like I pictured it. My kids thrive on structure and solid ground and I feel like I'm not a good enough mom to be around them all the time.

Has anyone switched from Ritalin IR to Concerta? I respond very well to Ritalin IR and I’m hoping the switch would just get rid of the peaks and valleys and give me a more smooth experience without changing any side effects. I have very few side effects from the IR and I’m hesitant to change because of it, but I’m getting so tired of taking three pills a day.

I live in a VHCOL city and there are bookkeeping positions open right now paying $17 an hour and require experience. The hotel chain I used to work for as an accounting manager started me out at $50,000 a year but required 50 hour work weeks, so I was only making $19 an hour. For comparison, nannies and housekeepers made quite a bit more. Nannies charge $25-30 per hour. The bartenders at my hotel made far more than me with no college degree.

I don’t understand.

I have 3 kids. Oldest (5) and middle (3) are still in 3 point harness car seats. Youngest (8 months) is in a rear facing infant seat. I currently drive a Honda pilot and want to get a minivan.

Which one for young kids is your favorite? I’m eyeing the odyssey because of its magic slide feature but wanted to know if there are advantages to other minivans.

We have a paid off home worth that we can probably sell for $2.3 million. We bought it for $900,000. We found a home we absolutely love that’s better for our family and it’s listed for $1.9million. We only have $40,000 in cash and $175,000 in Fidelity investments. How do we go about buying the new home?

I hate being a SAHM and feel like I'm doing it because it's the "right" thing to do if you can afford to do it. I want to be there for my kids. I want to be there for the school events, to drop them off at school and pick them up, to stay home with them when they're sick, be the one to teach them things, and I love the flexibility of being able to take them to appointments, go to the gym, etc.

But I absolutely hate the work. My kids are 8 months, 3 years, and 5 years. The 3 and 5 year old fight CONSTANTLY. They're on summer break now from preschool (oldest is going into kindergarten) and they bicker constantly. I'm spending each day trying to mentally escape and have been in my phone way too much. I envisioned a summer filled with fun and outings and it hasn't been like that so far. We have been doing daily swim lessons and sometimes the gym childcare, but nothing else. It's like I'm so tired of being around them, I don't want to go do fun things. And I hate that feeling.

I just recently started volunteering once a week doing something that makes me incredibly happy and I fantasize about being able to do it every day and have the kids in childcare. But I don't actually want to have less time with my youngest. I love this age so much and am excited for her toddler years, but I freaking hate the constant bickering, whining, screaming, and complaining that my older two do.

Can anyone relate? I feel like I want to escape.

I have 3 kids (5, 3, and 7 months) and live in a 2100 square foot house with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms with very minimal storage space. We have tiny closets in each room, one linen closet, a pantry, and no closets in the main area of the house.

I feel like I’m constantly dealing with clutter. Constantly donating and organizing, but crap keeps coming in. I try and minimize purchases as much as possible, but we go through phases of needing/wanting certain things, struggle with impulse buying occasionally, and then the kids get so many gifts at holidays and birthdays.

I feeling like most of my days are spent managing all the crap that I own and it’s a never ending battle.

I am drawn to minimalism but it’s so hard when we live in such a consumeristic culture.

How do you all keep the clutter at bay? I’ve read here that many of you have smaller houses than we do and make it work.

We have a Pottery Barn table that is extremely easy to stain and scratch, so we had a glass topper made for it. Unfortunately, the glass always looks disgusting if we have eaten on it or streaky if it’s cleaned. I want to put a tablecloth on it but want something durable and stain resistant that also doesn’t have toxic chemicals. Help!

This is my third baby. I know how to change diapers and put them on correctly, but I cannot figure out for the life of me why my 7 month old has daily blowouts. She has pretty chunky thighs and is currently in size 3 Huggies Little Movers.

We have tried sizing up to size 4 and changing diaper brands. We have tried Huggies snug and dry, Pampers swaddlers, Up and Up, and Millie Moon. They’re all the same. She usually gets blowouts up the back and sometimes out the leg when she’s in her car seat.

Please help! I am so tired of this.

I have a pretty unique situation and I will probably talk to a priest soon to get some help with this but wanted to see what you all think too.

I’m a SAHM to three kids under 6 years old. I have a very strong passion for dolphins and whales. I became obsessed when I was 3 years old and the passion never left. I became a dolphin trainer for a short time, but left the field because I had other dreams of being a mom and wife. I wanted to move to be near my then boyfriend (now husband) and my job was far from him and he couldn’t move.

I completely pivoted careers into accounting and then became a SAHM 10 months after my first baby was born. We are fortunate that we can financially handle being on one income and with the costs of childcare, working just doesn’t make sense for me. I’d have to bring in a lot of money for it to make sense financially. The problem I’m having is that I feel like a major piece of myself is missing without dolphins in my life. I was able to start volunteering with them twice a month, which is absolutely amazing, but I feel this desire to do more. Move up to once a week, then maybe twice a week, and then see if they would hire me on part time one day.

The problem is that for me to do this, it requires my family to sacrifice. We can afford to hire childcare to help while I volunteer and have the support of my MIL to do school drop off or pick up, but I feel horribly guilty asking for my family to make sacrifices so I can do something that only benefits me. But then I am conflicted because I don’t know why God gave me this intense passionate love for this type of work if he didn’t intend for me to use that in some way?

I don’t know what to do.

I have three kids 5 and under. From the time I wake up until 8-9pm, I’m busy and barely have time to breathe. I feel like I can’t measure up to my own standards. If I spend the entire day hanging out with the kids, setting up activities, making healthy meals, changing diapers, breaking up fights, etc., but my husband comes home and the house is a mess and laundry is behind, I feel guilty.

But when the house is cleaned and laundry is done, I usually didn’t spend any quality time with the kids.

Anyone else feel this way?

I know first aid/CPR. I know the difference between gagging and choking. But this style of eating still gives me massive amounts of anxiety. I wanted to do purées but baby is NOT having them. Randomly gave her a piece of toast and she LOVED it. Idk if I can continue this though. I was terrified the entire time

Advice?

I know the psychology behind this. I know that restriction tends to lead to binging and increased cravings. But I genuinely can’t moderate my intake of sweets. Even healthy muffins I make for the kids that I allow myself to eat leaves me eating half of the batch.

I want to completely eliminate baked goods forever. I see it as similar to an alcoholic’s relationship to alcohol. I am not an alcoholic and it’s very easy to moderate my intake. I have alcohol in the pantry that I never think about and when I do drink, I have a few and I stop. Isn’t that how normal people are with food? People without a disordered relationship around it? If I have muffins in my pantry, as soon as I get a craving, I gorge on them.

I have tried to change my relationship with food. I tried Noom, intuitive eating, mindful eating, etc and it never really works. It’s like I have a genetic predisposition to gorge on certain foods. I can have ice cream in the freezer and not care about it. Same with chips and crackers. But baked goods (cookies, bread, bagels, muffins, cake, waffles, pancakes, etc) are my kryptonite.

Has anyone else given up food groups for life?

My baby slept through the night from 3 weeks old all the way until 5 months. For the past two months, she’s been awake anywhere from 3 to 7 times per night. My brain cannot handle sleep deprivation. When I have multiple nights in a row of broken sleep, I get extremely irritable and start lashing out at my kids. It’s so bad that I had to recently start an SSRI. My mental health was pretty good when she was sleeping.

What do I do? I even tried embracing cosleeping and put a mattress on the floor in her room and it made no difference

I’d love to know your stories