u/Pearlie_Girl5

I've seen some tiktoks about who would be the cast of a VPR film so I decided to make my own! Here is the cast of VPR if it were an indie award darling directed by someone like Ari Aster or the Safdie Brothers.

1. Isabelle Huppert as LVP: She's charming. She's charismatic. She's diabolical and controlling. Huppert would play LVP as someone who seems to care but really is just looking to be entertained at all costs.

2. Young Nicole Kidman as Stassi Schroeder: Nicole Kidman would NAIL the role as a spoiled, beautiful debutante who always gets what she wants.

3. Inde Navarrette as Kristen Doute: OBVIOUSLY

4. Aubrey Plaza as Katie Maloney: I feel like Aubrey Plaza could really nail Katie's sarcasm and tough demeanor while also showcasing her sensitive and very human inner emotions.

5. Willem Dafoe as Tome Schwartz: Okay stay with me here, I feel like Willem Dafoe is one of the only actors who could really get Tom's charming "aww shucks" personality while also communicating Schwartz's angry and misogynistic undertones.

6. Casey Affleck as Tom Sandoval: Affleck would be able to really hit Sandoval's intense emotional outbursts in a way that would be a little too real.

7. Young Russell Crowe as Jax Taylor: Russell does a good job of playing charming characters with a violence that is hidden just below the surface, and he is big enough to really portray Jax's intense physical presence.

8. Mikey Madison as Scheana Shay: Good or bad, Scheana throws herself into everything she does and I think Madison could really hit on that kind of pathetic, attention-seeking energy.

9. Young Chloe Sevigny as Ariana Madix: She's just a cool girl, ya know?

10. Mia Goth as Raquel Leviss: Mia Goth would nail the cuteness and the baby voice all while hinting at something sinister underneath the surface.

11. Florence Pugh as Lala Kent: Lala is a lot of things and emotional is one of them! And Florence does a great job playing someone dealing with intense inner battles.

12. Nicola Coughlan as Brittany Cartwright: I really think Nicola would really nail Brittany's goofy energy.

13. Leo Woodall as James Kennedy: Leo Woodall did such a good job in the White Lotus playing someone who ostensibly seemed to be all about having fun but was hiding something deeply nefarious.

My coming out to my mom was a little rough (but we are good now and she is very loving!!) so because of my mommy issues I guess I sometimes fantasize about these women being the maternal figure I come out to. So here are my top picks from the franchises I watch. Do you agree? Disagree? Who would you add to the list?

oh and happy pride!

Edit: I can't change the title but I meant "Housewives I would want to come out TO". but honestly tell me the housewives you want to come out, I'm so curious! that might be my next post lol

I just can't with the men this season. Like they've always sucked but in the words of Miss Lacey, they are in hell in search of shovels.

-Danny: You groped someone when you were drunk!!! That is why it is a big deal!! Why is that so hard for you to grasp?? I feel like he thinks that just because he apologized he can forget the whole thing but thats not how it works. You have to live with the hurt you cause people, especially when the hurt is as egregious as how he hurt Jasmine and Melissa.

-Jesse: What are you even talking about dude?? Danny did not take accountability for his actions (he's literally lying about drinking in this very episode) and what does Brittany have to do with all of this?

-Schwartz: Okay probably the least loser-ish of this trio in this particular situation but I cannot with him making that confused face and saying nothing when he obviously disagrees. He's not taking sides, he's choosing being one of the boys over defending a woman, but I guess that's just Schwartz being Schwartz.