u/PermitIcy8450

So I don’t think I can do this anymore. Living a double life, spending too much money on this crap, taking out cash advances and ignoring bills, hiding it all from my wife, not being mentally or emotionally present at home, just constantly running and miserable. Constantly worried about losing the house or not being able to pay for my car or getting sued by creditors, dreading what notices might be in the mail that day if my wife is home. I’m at rock bottom, I’m throwing in the towel and coming clean today. I don’t know if my wife will stay. I’ve had alcohol problems before, I was addicted to 7oh until last year same time when I quit for about 8 months. Had a couple relapses, this last one has gone on 2 months and it has its claws in me again. I’ve been drinking somewhat heavily since I quit 7oh the first time around. I want to be sober. I need treatment or ongoing accountability, I need to change these patterns that keep bringing me here where I feel shame and then hide it in a substance. Any advice anyone has is welcome, I’m just sick of it.

Just had a question about the Bernese method of micro induction with suboxone.

Probably overthinking this but… I’ve read the guide on quitting7oh.org but it doesn’t seem to address this - it appears to take 7+ days to reach your full sub stabilization dosage with the Bernese method. That site and this subreddit lean heavily toward the rapid taper approach in general, often 7ish days for the (downward ) taper, so wouldn’t this method of induction make it much harder to get off of suboxone because of the total amount of time you’re taking it? 7 days for induction and then 7 days for the taper is 14 days on subs, isn’t that approaching dependence territory?

At the end of my 3rd relapse here, this one went 9 days. Back to work tomorrow and back to quit again for good (I work from home as a call center manager and fortunately for me I can get away with doing almost nothing for a week and it not be noticed, and my normal productivity has me set up to where I’m already done everything I have to do this period).

But on to my topic: I haven’t seen this mentioned anywhere that I recall but this time around using 7oh I’ve noticed it having pretty strong effects on my coordination and sometimes vision. My eyes have also been really tired, red and dried out.

Some examples:
* I was outside with the dog at night waiting on her to do her business and I looked over at these solar garden lights we have. They looked like they were kinda swaying up and down or like spilling down like a waterfall effect. These things are not flexible though, it weirded me out and I got close to them and noticed they weren’t moving at all. The effect was pretty darn strong at a distance of maybe 50 ft though.

* went to a show last night and thought the curtain they had above the stage was slowly being lowered. It was not at all. The only way I could tell it wasn’t moving was to look at it through my phone’s camera though, where it was perfectly still. When I would look back at it in real life though it definitely appeared to be moving again, being lowered or kind of “spilling “ down.

*At the show when this was happening I decided to look at some exit lights to see if I could “make them” do anything weird. They did not but I did notice I had a very hard time focusing on just one. I would try to stare at one intently and it felt like my eyes were wandering. If I tried to stop this my eyes would kind of tear up and would inevitably dart around the area, stubbornly refusing to focus on one spot.

*A few times recently my hand eye coordination was absolutely awful. Seems to be dose dependent. Trying to draw or color is very frustrating and it’s a bit scary because my hands will just not go where I want them to go, even if I concentrate. While coloring for example I would eventually color way outside of the lines, trying to sketch stuff with a pen looks extremely sloppy etc. This was not really helped by looking at what I was doing either.

*I sometimes have a very hard time typing on both my phone and computer keyboard. I have a hard time reading something on my phone and not accidentally touching the screen and messing something up, feels like I have a hard time keeping the phone upright, typing a text message or something is extremely frustrating. When typing on a computer keyboard I make tons and tons of mistakes, have to keep using backspace. I’m usually a great typist. Oddly enough if I just kind of look down at what my hands are doing in this case I do a much better job, not even looking at the keys I’m hitting per se, just the general area.

This is the first time I’ve ever experienced something like this on 7oh. It reminded me of some experiences with other substances in the past (what used to be a popular party drug in the rave scene) where I would see weird stuff when the lighting was poor, like people wearing glasses when they weren’t or a cigarette someone was smoking rotating in the air on its own. I didn’t experience this at all during my original 5 month run. This time around I’ve gotten up to about 240mg/day over 9 days so I suspect I’m not acclimated to it and it’s just more than my body can handle?

Anyway, glad to be done with it one last time and a good reminder that this stuff is not good for you. Feels like it’s already turning on me. Just wanted to see if anyone else has had similar experiences. Not sure if I mentioned it earlier but this only happens when I’m using and the effect is stronger if I take more of it (dose dependent) and also stronger at night if I’m already tired. Thanks all.

Hey all. Sorry I’m here again, can’t wait to get off of this merry go round and feeling kinda pathetic.

As the title suggests, about to quit after my 3rd relapse. I had 8 months clean from a 240mg/day addiction (Oct-June) and then a relapse in early June (13 days out of a 19 day period). Was probably taking like 120mg/day during that relapse. Quit CT there, had about another month clean and then back to relapse, 2nd one was about 6 days and had about 5 days of WD. Usage was probably closer to 180mg per day. Quit that one CT too, felt like a cold plus insomnia and anxiety. Sucked while I was in it but relatively short lived and was able to pass it off as a cold but my wife did think it was weird I got sick twice in the span of a month.

Wanted to have a good week this last week because I was on a staycation and doing fun stuff all week, plus with what’s coming up in early August I wanted a “last hurrah” I guess. Probably only a couple weeks since the end of my 2nd relapse. Dumb dumb dumb. This current relapse has been 7 days and usage is pretty close to where I was on my original quit, around 240mg per day.

Going to use today because I have a concert I’m going to and don’t want to be miserable and sweaty, and may end up using tomorrow because my wife and I are both off work for the last day of our staycation. I’m back to work Monday. I work from home so I can get away with doing almost nothing at work next week.

I’m normally a big proponent of telling someone and having someone in your corner like your significant other. In this case I’m not really able to share with her because I think it would be the straw that broke the camels back. Normally I pay all of the household bills but recently I needed some help from her and even though our financial arrangement is very unfair to begin with (working on it) she would definitely see it as her having to give me money to buy drugs. Meanwhile the vast majority of my money issues this month were caused by going on a vacation we couldn’t really afford, but I digress. She’s wouldn’t be 100% wrong though, any money spent on this shit is too much.

So just looking for advice on how to get over this one last relapse. I have orange strips left over from my original quit, definitely more than I would need if I need to go that route. I can go buy some plain leaf today if you all think that might help. Also wondering if I should stretch out the last little bit of 7 that I have into the smallest doses as possible until I run out so that it’s more of a taper/soft landing?

I know I will definitely experience some withdrawal because I have on every relapse and I guess I want to get through it as far under the radar as possible. Insomnia and anxiety were pretty closely related for me last time but a lot of that was grounded in real world financial issues and since my wife helped a lot and I have a bonus coming up I actually don’t have any real world things to be anxious about this time, so I think that will help a lot for the psychological part and possibly even the insomnia.

As always, thanks everyone for your help. Just need to get through this week ideally without drawing too much attention to myself. For my original quit I had a lot of anxiety and insomnia and mostly lack of appetite and regular cold symptoms plus some chills. I had very minor restless legs but it was mainly just a feeling I had mentally and not physical jerking. Did not vomit and did not spend hours on the toilet etc. When I originally quit it was an eight day MAT taper so I could do something like that if you think it might help. Just worried about CTing and then it possibly be worse than I anticipate and having no choice but to reveal my bullshit.

I have not done a ton of deliveries. Today was the first real problem I’ve had. I was trying to do a liquor order from a grocery store. I had just completed a different one like 10 minutes prior. This time around it did not take my QR code at the register and then the digital red card also declined. It said to take a picture of the register monitor with any line items and the total after the cashier removed tax and I did that and then that also declined. The automated support suggested that I pay with my own money and request reimbursement, but I refused to do that because I’ve seen on here plenty of times where people don’t get their reimbursement. Just wondering if I did something wrong or if the cashier might’ve done something wrong or if it was just inevitable and stupid

So I was about 8 months clean and relapsed. Dumb idea. Used for about 7 days at like 80mg per day, took a 4 day break and then another 6 days at 120 per day or so. During the break it honestly wasn’t that bad, I had some sweats for the next day and a little blah but then by about 72 hours, I was normal. This time around it’s different, at about 64 hours out and I feel like crap. Slept fine the night before last but last night I was tossing and turning all night. Had chills all day yesterday and again today, no appetite, really dysphoric, really hoping this doesn’t drag on like my original withdrawal when I had five months of use at 180-240mgpd. That was hell.

So anyway, anyone who had a relatively short relapse after a long time off have any experience here? Am I in for a protracted withdrawal just like the first time? Should I take subs? Tough it out? Did I completely scare myself for weeks or months?

Had a bit of a lapse, was clean since October, the store I used to buy from stopped stocking them a while ago and then just started again apparently. At the time I was in there I had a really bad hangover and figured I would take some 7oh to feel better that day and then get a little bit more for the vacation I was going on the next day.

Ran out mid vacation and didn’t buy more although I had the opportunity. Decided to ride it out to see what it would be like in terms of withdrawal if I had any. Had been clean about eight months and used for six days, about 80 mg per day.

I can say that I did not have full-blown withdrawal. I definitely felt something. About 24 hours after my last dose I had some anhedonia and chills. Had a really hard time getting to sleep that night but eventually I did, probably like five or six hours. I had chills and sweats all day the next day, same trouble falling asleep. Got progressively better since then and now I’m about 96 hours out and feeling pretty normal I’d say.

So anyway, 6 days of use equals four days of some version of withdrawal apparently for me. It was tolerable, but also scary how quickly it happened. Don’t plan on going back because I know I really can’t afford it and it would definitely put my marriage in jeopardy and I won’t go through that again. Dumb mistake because I was generally feeling pretty positive with life and hope to get right back on that train as soon as possible.