u/Pianokeys1995

I made a post here last week too about my struggles at work but I’m venting some more.

(30F) started a new job a few months ago. My days are quite long (12h, which includes 3 hours of travel), I work almost full time. This is my first office job, and while it’s not that difficult, I still find it quite stressful. The learning curve was a bit stee but I think I’ve managed quite well. This job has never been my first choice, but I’m very grateful I have this opportunity, because a few months ago I was praying for this opportunity because I was stuck in an awful retail job for a while.

Some part of me hoped that with this step forward part of my anxiety would fade. But these past few months have been challenging, I’m so afraid of making mistakes and being too slow and not good enough. The feedback I’ve gotten has been nothing but positive. Yet I cannot let go of these negative thoughts. I’m so paranoid of making mistakes that I triple check my work, which slows me down while I feel like I’m already too slow. And the cycle repeats….

Last week I broke down crying, which is embarrassing ugh. But everyone has been so kind and helpful. And yet here too I’m spiraling. I’m a grown adult who should not cry under a bit of pressure. But I’ve been so tired lately. Idk. I wish for a gentle life. That thought has been going around in my head often these past few weeks.

I (30F) started a new job a few months ago. My days are quite long (12h, which includes 3 hours of travel), I work almost full time. This is my first office job, and while it’s not that difficult, I still find it quite stressful. The learning curve was a bit stee but I think I’ve managed quite well. This job has never been my first choice, but I’m very grateful I have this opportunity, because a few months ago I was praying for this opportunity because I was stuck in an awful retail job for a while.

Some part of me hoped that with this step forward part of my anxiety would fade. But these past few months have been challenging, I’m so afraid of making mistakes and being too slow and not good enough. The feedback I’ve gotten has been nothing but positive. Yet I cannot let go of these negative thoughts. I’m so paranoid of making mistakes that I triple check my work, which slows me down while I feel like I’m already too slow. And the cycle repeats….

Last week I broke down crying, which is embarrassing ugh. But everyone has been so kind and helpful. And yet here too I’m spiraling. I’m a grown adult who should not cry under a bit of pressure. But I’ve been so tired lately. Idk. I wish for a gentle life. That thought has been going around in my head often these past few weeks.

I maybe hoped that through exposing myself to challenging situations, learning that I am capable of doing the stuff I thought I could not do, that I would become more sure of myself. And while I did become more confident, the imposter syndrome always sneaks back on me.

I started a new job a few months ago, and while it’s going quite well, am learning a lot and have gotten positive feedback on my work, my fears ar exhausting me. I am paranoid of making mistakes, which leads me to triple checking my work, which makes me slower and makes me afraid of being too slow, which I already was. And the stupid thing is, even after all that I’m still not confident I did alright. This kind of thing is nothing new to me but it’s almost becoming like some sort of obsession? like I cannot help to extra check the small things I was already careful with. Does anyone have similar experiences? I know I probably should not allow myself to triple check my work, but It’s so hard to stop.

I maybe hoped that through exposing myself to challenging situations, learning that I am capable of doing the stuff I thought I could not do, that I would become more sure of myself. And while I did become more confident, the imposter syndrome always sneaks back on me.

I started a new job a few months ago, and while it’s going quite well, am learning a lot and have gotten positive feedback on my work, my fears ar exhausting me. I am paranoid of making mistakes, which leads me to triple checking my work, which makes me slower and makes me afraid of being too slow, which I already was. And the stupid thing is, even after all that I’m still not confident I did alright. This kind of thing is nothing new to me but it’s almost becoming like some sort of obsession? like I cannot help to extra check the small things I was already careful with. Does anyone have similar experiences? I know I probably should not allow myself to triple check my work, but It’s so hard to stop.