u/Pickles_The_Cat_1234

I’m 23F, have been working for 5 years now. I’ve had all sorts of jobs due to moving around a lot and also being bullied out of the workplace by an upper management figure (an autism classic).

Almost every single place I’ve been at, the majority have seemingly disliked me and have left me out of things. My first job at 18 was a Starbucks and I worked there for a whole year till I moved for college. My coworkers regularly had parties, get-togethers, one-on-ones etc. and I hoped I’d eventually be invited. By 8 months in, they had already invited the new person to hang out, and I gave up on that hope. I did get invited to go to one girl’s house, and I thought we had fun, but from then on at work she was short and dismissive with me.

My current workplace - which to be fair, I’m only here to save for moving to NYC, so I’m not super invested - is the same. For our weekly team meetings, they always “forget” to schedule me in and I have to just tag along. We’re adults and for group activities, no one wants to partner with me, even when I ask. The two other girls my age are not interested in talking to me, but are super giggly and fun with each other.

It was my birthday the other week, everyone knew but no one said anything. Only one person (who is part time so I barely see her) texted me. Today, it was the birthday of someone who wasn’t even HERE because he’s on PTO, and our boss told us to pull out our phones and TEXT him happy birthday??

I try SO hard and I just get nowhere. I learn how each workplace says hello, what small talk they like, what humour they like etc. and I try it, but it never gets me anywhere.

I only have 10 weeks left at this job, so maybe it’s not a huge deal. But I’m still feeling disappointed and confused. I don’t want this to carry into my actual dream jobs oriented with my career.

Does this happen to anyone else? Just feeling really disheartened and lonely.

How does one escape this loophole?? I’m trying so hard and I feel like I’m missing something here. I’m from an immigrant family (moved to the USA as a teen) so maybe I’m still learning American systems.

I cannot get a job ANYWHERE because no one in my field/level of work is willing to hire for a relocation. I just got rejected for a literal position in retail, and I even had an interview and everything. Coffee shops will not hire you if you’re moving, because there’s 20+ applicants already living there. Lying about already living there doesn’t work, because…

Every single short-term sublet I see, wants x40 the rent and proof of income. They won’t even accept guarantors?? I’m so confused?? I completely understand that for signing a literal lease, but a short-term sublet for going on vacation, are you kidding me? Usually it’s the actual landlord requiring that and not the poor subletter, but still, it sucks.

This is driving me insane. I’m not in a rush to move, but I’d like to at least be able to get the ball rolling. Am I missing something? Am I doing something wrong?

I am saving and trying to move to NYC, and recently applied for a job, not really thinking I’d get it, it was a long-shot. A week later, I sent a follow-up email, just being hopeful. Well, they emailed me back on Monday, asking me to come in for an interview on TUESDAY.

I was so excited, I actually called a sick day and flew into NYC just for the interview. Mind you, I had put my address as a NYC location, because my friend and I are signing a lease there soon - but not until June/July. I didn’t know how to share this information, and I didn’t want to seem insane for calling off work and doing a fly-in fly-out in less than 12 hours (my flight took off 7:30am and my returning flight was scheduled for 7:30pm). So I just kept quiet about that part.

But everything else I shared in the interview was true, and it honestly went really well. It’s technically an entry-level job, but I’m very qualified for it. The interviewers said that they would have a look at what hours they could offer for me, have a think about pay rate, etc. and email me at the beginning of next week. They even said they’d reach out to my references. I asked them what on my application stood out to them, and they said it was actually the fact that I followed-up that they were most impressed by.

A few hours after the interview, I was feeling really panicked and jittery. I hadn’t even lied really, I just omitted the fact that I don’t live in NYC *yet*. I decided to be honest, and it was really scary, but I called the interviewer.

I confessed that I hadn’t been fully truthful, and that while I had taken the day off work to come in for the interview, I had actually flown in. I said that I didn’t want to seem crazy, so originally I kept it to myself, but I decided to tell them the truth because I wanted to start this job on honest grounds. I apologized for the confusion, I clarified that everything else I shared was completely 100% true, and that my starting date would remain the same.

She seemed really surprised, but afterwards she thanked me for my honesty and for all of the effort I had put into coming in for the interview. She asked if my starting date would definitely be the same (I said yes) and asked if I had emailed the extra info for the references that they were looking for (also yes). Finally, she said that they would email me again next week. I said thank you so much, and apologized once more.

Anyways, I definitely made myself seem insane. All of my decisions were super last minute and weren’t necessarily thought through 100% of the way. But have I killed my chances of getting the job?? Please advise :,)