u/PinkMossOrchid

I always used to find Coca Cola helped me sometimes reduce or even get rid of a migraines but I had a weird experience last year when I had two Coca Cola cans from the same pack that gave me the weird 'chemical' fuzzy feeling in my head I get when I have decaf coffee. I looked online and it said there could've been too high an amount of some chemical in that particular batch so it made me stop buying them.

I then moved onto regular Pepsi which seemed better but people online are saying even the regular one is now full of sweeteners. Here in the UK we have a 'sugar tax' which means they're taking out sugar and adding chemical sweeteners to more products.

I am thinking of trying some of those fancier colas you have to order online and I wondered if anyone here had tried any/can recommend any colas that have fewer or no chemical sweeteners? This has got me thinking that if a company created Migraineur Cola with no artificial sweeteners or weird chemicals then they'd probably have a popular product!

I'm not quite sure where to write about this but it's been a weird experience that I need to share.

About a year ago a man I'll call Alan came and did a talk at this community centre where I was part of a support group and afterwards he invited me to his confidence building group. I was super lonely and isolated at the time looking to rebuild my life so I went and at first it was great. Everyone was friendly, welcoming and supportive and we practiced different confidence building activities which were genuinely helpful. I have been wanting to return to work and it made that feel less daunting.

Unfortunately, the first red flag however was that to be part of the group you had to pay a subscription. I asked Alan if I could be a non-paying member until I'd got a job and he agreed but everyone else as far as I know as paying.

A few months down the line I realised that the group was technically a sales funnel for a business jointly? owned by Alan and his business partner I'll call Gavin. Alan always seemed like a warm, genuinely caring guy but as soon as I saw Gavin's messages in the group's WhatsApp chat he alarmed me. He is always trying to get people to sign up to increasingly expensive workshops and uses those predatory sales tactics such as 'this offer is just for the first 10 people who sign up' and 'this is a great opportunity and remember, the offer price will increase next week.' I looked at their website and they have various workshops increasing in price going right up to 'executive level' extortionately priced 'coaching.'

Alan suddenly became ill with a terminal diagnosis and left the group with immediate affect, nobody told me what was happening until I asked and it felt pretty distressing. As soon as Alan left, Gavin has taken over the group and it has become weirder and weirder. I think he tells people who go to his other workshops to write various things in the group chat, so now they're all speaking in the weird way he does, for example it's things like:

'Thanks for providing a safe space for us to share today Gavin, I am so glad to be part of this' and even 'Thanks for postponing your spa visit to spend time with us today Gavin.'

Lots of talk about 'levelling up, ' 'investing in yourself,' 'stepping into your power' and all of the rest of that creepy toxic positivity salesy cult-like language. There's always an underlying vibe of 'anyone who doesn't sign up is negative/not investing in themselves, don't be like that' and lots of not-so-subtle boasting about how he normally charges loads and travels all over the world for 'high ticket clients.'

I feel creeped out and alarmed by how the group has changed and I've left. Thankfully I've found a new volunteer job and a local creative community plus I'm job hunting so I don't feel as isolated now.

I'd love to hear your views on this, thanks for reading.

I'm not quite sure where to write about this but it's been a weird experience that I need to share.

About a year ago a man I'll call Alan came and did a talk at this community centre where I was part of a support group and afterwards he invited me to his confidence building group. I was super lonely and isolated at the time looking to rebuild my life so I went and at first it was great. Everyone was friendly, welcoming and supportive and we practiced different confidence building activities which were genuinely helpful. I have been wanting to return to work and it made that feel less daunting.

Unfortunately, the first red flag however was that to be part of the group you had to pay a subscription. I asked Alan if I could be a non-paying member until I'd got a job and he agreed but everyone else as far as I know as paying.

A few months down the line I realised that the group was technically a sales funnel for a business jointly? owned by Alan and his business partner I'll call Gavin. Alan always seemed like a warm, genuinely caring guy but as soon as I saw Gavin's messages in the group's WhatsApp chat he alarmed me. He is always trying to get people to sign up to increasingly expensive workshops and uses those predatory sales tactics such as 'this offer is just for the first 10 people who sign up' and 'this is a great opportunity and remember, the offer price will increase next week.' I looked at their website and they have various workshops increasing in price going right up to 'executive level' extortionately priced 'coaching.'

Alan suddenly became ill with a terminal diagnosis and left the group with immediate affect, nobody told me what was happening until I asked and it felt pretty distressing. As soon as Alan left, Gavin has taken over the group and it has become weirder and weirder. I think he tells people who go to his other workshops to write various things in the group chat, so now they're all speaking in the weird way he does, for example it's things like:

'Thanks for providing a safe space for us to share today Gavin, I am so glad to be part of this' and even 'Thanks for postponing your spa visit to spend time with us today Gavin.'

Lots of talk about 'levelling up, ' 'investing in yourself,' 'stepping into your power' and all of the rest of that creepy toxic positivity salesy cult-like language. There's always an underlying vibe of 'anyone who doesn't sign up is negative/not investing in themselves, don't be like that' and lots of not-so-subtle boasting about how he normally charges loads and travels all over the world for 'high ticket clients.'

I feel creeped out and alarmed by how the group has changed and I've left. I'd love to hear your views on this, thanks for reading.

I was recently trying to describe to my mum how my 'migraines with aura' feel and struggled to describe the aura. I could never relate to people saying they see flashing lights or zigzags because that's not what I experience, for me everything gets 'weird' and my spatial awareness gets worse, I get clumsy and everything feels 'surreal.' This surreality usually happens several hours after the head pain and is always the last symptom to go because the migraine medications only ever get rid of the pain.

I have a migraine currently and I finally was able to have a shower and I suddenly lost my balance and stumbled in the shower but I made sure I fell backwards towards the wall and then steadied myself. I asked google about it and it mentioned vestibular migraines. I am now wondering after all these years, have I been experiencing vestibular migraines rather than migraine with aura. I will ask my GP to be referred to a neurologist.

I've been struggling seeing my mum get older, sometimes it wakes me up in the night and I cry a lot about it. I'm in my early 40s.

Over the last few years I saw my father and two aunts die of dementia. I went through a lot of other losses and ended up in a bad place with grief and isolation where I wasn't functioning well (I don't have a partner or children). I leaned on my mum during that time, she was one of the few people left in my life. I have a large extended family who I tried to reconnect with but I often felt worse after being around them and had to ring the Samaritans so I avoid them now, they mostly don't live nearby anyway.

Me and my mum got through all of these losses together, we'd go on long walks and talk a lot. We developed a garden together which we both loved and it helped us a lot. Throughout the time our family members dying my mum didn't seem to age at all, she seemed the same from about the age of 60-79. It was so, so helpful for me that my mum was emotionally and physically strong, I don't know how I would've survived that time.

Then suddenly around the age of 79 it's like she suddenly started to age. She developed an arthritis-like condition and we had to give up the garden and stop going on long walks. We both adjusted to her being more 'elderly' rather than just 'older' and she still got the train and went on a few trips but she's 81 now and she now doesn't drive much, she finally started asking me to collect her after years of refusing to let me drive us anywhere. We went to a local museum recently and she struggled to walk on slightly uneven ground, we went to a pub and she complained of being cold and it being noisy when it was a normal temperature and not particularly loud. I've always been the one with sensory issues and she's always been strong, robust and quite vibrant. It felt painful seeing her not liking even being sat in a pub.

What's even more confusing is that up until age 79, she could also be quite a controlling, bossy and manipulative woman. She did something very cruel to me about 10 years ago and for years I went low contact and tried to create my own life. Looking at the Karpman drama triangle, at times she was the persecutor and other times the rescuer. I never felt like I could be a fully independent adult because she always seemed to infantilise me, insist on doing everything, discouraged me from working and telling me all men cheat etc

I have been trying to teach myself how to be an independent adult for years and was almost managing it until I went through so much loss. After the losses I ended up pretty dependent on her again. Now she's elderly I have no choice but to figure it out. Even though our relationship used to be more toxic it was actually easier for me to navigate because in some ways I was a bit like a bird in a gilded cage. I feel horrible and guilty for writing this, and it's so confusing because she's no longer that overpowering woman. I often feel very scared about my future and how I'll survive. I have a few health issues myself which makes it a challenge. Thanks for listening and for any support or advice.

I currently own an amazingly reliable and cheap to run 1st generation Toyota Yaris from the stone ages but I've had issues with people hitting it whilst parked over the past year so it's probably on it's last legs so I'd like to upgrade it with a new to me car.

Requirements:

- Mostly just local driving with some driving to nearby towns

- Reliable, small and cheap to run

- Air conditioning

- Seat not too low so I can still see at junctions next to four wheel drives

- Decent sized boot

- 4 doors

- Ok in snow and ice

- Budget is about £5000

After initial research google is recommending I get another Toyota Yaris, this time from the 2011-2016 range with an Icon, Design or Excel trim so it comes with air conditioning.

Apparently Aygos are even cheaper to run and free? to tax but they're virtually two seater cars due to how cramped the back seats are? Which isn't great if I'm giving anyone a lift.

It also recommended Toyota Aurises from 2010-2014 and Honda Jazz but apparently they can get a bit rusty if you live in a regularly gritted area in the winter which I do.

Also is it definitely still ok to buy a manual petrol car? I sometimes worry the government are going to ban them and force everyone to buy expensive electric vehicles above my budget.

This will be the first car I've bought myself so any advice would be good, thanks.